Author Topic: Funny things your kids (or kids around you) say. (Read 36501 times)

Crimson_Tank · « **on:** February 2, 2012, 05:57:31 pm »

I know that my son has said some very hilarious things in his 3 years of life. But I know that not everyone has children, but even those without occasionaly have some contact with children be it at the park or in the ASDA. I am sure that there are some gems out there.

So lets have them.

This happened a few weeks ago:
"look mom and dad there is a sandbox outside" - Little C_T
"No son, that is snow not a sand box" - Mrs C_T
"OH SNOW, DAD DID YOU KNOW THERE IS SNOW OUTSIDE? not a sand box" - Little C_T

(I was siting right next tom him the whole time.....)

"I need to get big so I can shave." Little C_T (yesterday)

JerseyKloppite · « **Reply #1 on:** February 2, 2012, 06:00:05 pm »

I have nothing to add at this time, but approve of the thread.

Particularly because it looks like you are referring to your beloved son as a "Little C_T" which looks a bit rude, and amuses me greatly!

As he is wearing a Liverpool shirt I shall rightly assume he is nothing of the sort.

Crimson_Tank · « **Reply #2 on:** February 2, 2012, 06:01:56 pm »

Thanks for that, I did not even think that it would seem rude/ wrong, but alas I shall leave it as is.

Lawnmowerman · « **Reply #3 on:** February 2, 2012, 06:02:08 pm »

"With the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin"

JerseyKloppite · « **Reply #4 on:** February 2, 2012, 06:09:29 pm »

Quote from: Crimson_Tank on February 2, 2012, 06:01:56 pm

Thanks for that, I did not even think that it would seem rude/ wrong, but alas I shall leave it as is.

Haha, I was joking! I will amend my post to reflect how I meant that to come accross!

Crimson_Tank · « **Reply #5 on:** February 3, 2012, 03:16:37 am »

tonight Little C_T told me that "silent toots (farts) are tush (butt) hiccups"

sminp · « **Reply #6 on:** February 3, 2012, 08:36:49 am »

My 20 year old brother to his now ex-girlfriend (jokingly): Shut up woman!
My 9 year old brother quick as a flash: Get on my horse

Cue me and 2 of my brothers in tears and the 9 year old looking pleased with himself and slightly confused at why it's so funny.

BigJumper · « **Reply #7 on:** February 3, 2012, 09:01:24 am »

Me and my bird took the little one to my mums, she's 5 now but 4 at the time

My mum likes winding the kids up a bit, she asked when we walked in "What do YOU want?" to which the little one replied "I don't know, what have you got?" My mum's told everyone, we think she's met her match

you may have had to have been there but it was hilarious

Chinbits · « **Reply #8 on:** February 3, 2012, 10:07:15 am »

When I was younger I called my mate a lesbian and he said 'No I'm not, I don't fancy my mum'

J-Mc- · « **Reply #9 on:** February 3, 2012, 10:11:45 am »

Quote from: BigJumper on February 3, 2012, 09:01:24 am

Me and my bird took the little one to my mums, she's 5 now but 4 at the time

My mum likes winding the kids up a bit, she asked when we walked in "What do YOU want?" to which the little one replied "I don't know, what have you got?" My mum's told everyone, we think she's met her match you may have had to have been there but it was hilarious

jason42 · « **Reply #10 on:** February 3, 2012, 10:38:33 am »

Years ago, when Jess and James were little, they were in the bath and apparently their older cousin had been telling Jess about sex. Jess turns to Debs and says "Kayleigh said that men put their willies in girls fluffs" Debs splutters and tries to blag a way out of it but Jess looks at her and says "Oh please tell me that Daddy never did that to you!"

BigJumper · « **Reply #11 on:** February 4, 2012, 03:15:11 pm »

Just remembered this one from a week or two ago, find the little one laying down in the living room, absolute silence arms by her side, so I'm just looking at her, she doesn't move for a good 5 minutes so I ask her what is she doing.
"Pretending to be a carrot" was the answer. She comes out with some crazy stuff, she come in yesterday from her nans and told us she wants a robot Rudolph for her birthday (birthday is ages away) but she's not sure if you can get them

Gobias Industries · « **Reply #12 on:** February 4, 2012, 03:18:43 pm »

Quote from: Chinbits on February 3, 2012, 10:07:15 am

When I was younger I called my mate a lesbian and he said 'No I'm not, I don't fancy my mum'

Tbf it sounds like neither of you knew what it meant

Brian Blessed · « **Reply #13 on:** February 4, 2012, 03:18:44 pm »

Quote from: BigJumper on February 4, 2012, 03:15:11 pm

Just remembered this one from a week or two ago, find the little one laying down in the living room, absolute silence arms by her side, so I'm just looking at her, she doesn't move for a good 5 minutes so I ask her what is she doing.
"Pretending to be a carrot" was the answer. She comes out with some crazy stuff, she come in yesterday from her nans and told us she wants a robot Rudolph for her birthday (birthday is ages away) but she's not sure if you can get them

the carrot thing is common than you think.

Quote from: Prelude no.5 on January 31, 2012, 04:15:27 pm

Cochise · « **Reply #14 on:** February 4, 2012, 03:23:58 pm »

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=237594.msg5395164#msg5395164

BigJumper · « **Reply #15 on:** February 4, 2012, 03:36:13 pm »

Quote from: King Brian Blessed IX on February 4, 2012, 03:18:44 pm

the carrot thing is common than you think.

haha can't wait to show my bird

Rusty · « **Reply #16 on:** February 4, 2012, 04:44:57 pm »

Quote from: JerseyKopite on February 2, 2012, 06:00:05 pm

I have nothing to add at this time, but approve of the thread.

Particularly because it looks like you are referring to your beloved son as a "Little C_T" which looks a bit rude, and amuses me greatly!

As he is wearing a Liverpool shirt I shall rightly assume he is nothing of the sort.

That was exactly the thought that came into my mind, couldn't believe someone would be so offensive about their own offspring

Crimson_Tank · « **Reply #17 on:** February 4, 2012, 04:48:52 pm »

Quote from: Rusty on February 4, 2012, 04:44:57 pm

That was exactly the thought that came into my mind, couldn't believe someone would be so offensive about their own offspring

Thanks Rusty, perhaps I should just us "Little CT" in place....

Matt8Pie · « **Reply #18 on:** February 4, 2012, 05:16:13 pm »

Was in Sainsbury's over Christmas and was queuing. There was a fat bird getting served at the counter behind where I was standing and this little kid and his dad standing behind her. I was waiting for the person to be finished in front of me. I looked at the little kid and he kept staring at the fat woman and after a moment he just bursts out with "daddy, why's that woman so big?". I laughed, the dad blushed and the woman shot me an evil look. Funny as fuck.

Corkboy · « **Reply #19 on:** February 4, 2012, 05:25:53 pm »

When my kid was about five, they were doing their news in school and one little girl said the following.

"I was in bed last night but I couldn't sleep so I came downstairs and mummy and daddy were sunbathing by the fire!"

Crimson_Tank · « **Reply #20 on:** February 6, 2012, 02:30:17 am »

(night of the superbowl)

Mrs CT to Little CT: "We are going to watch the football game tonight, would you like to stay up and watch it too?"
Little CT:

"Yippee, we are going to watch Liverpool"
Me: "Sorry bud, Liverpool do not play until tomorrow."
Little CT:

"hmmm ok, I am going to play spaceman."

J-Mc- · « **Reply #21 on:** February 6, 2012, 08:48:47 am »

Quote from: Crimson_Tank on February 6, 2012, 02:30:17 am

(night of the superbowl)

Mrs CT to Little CT: "We are going to watch the football game tonight, would you like to stay up and watch it too?"
Little CT: "Yippee, we are going to watch Liverpool"
Me: "Sorry bud, Liverpool do not play until tomorrow."
Little CT: "hmmm ok, I am going to play spaceman."

So it's the little one whose not the C_T then?

LanceLink!!!!! · « **Reply #22 on:** February 6, 2012, 09:35:25 am »

Story time last night....

Alfie (Aged 4) to me....Daddy, where do eggs come from?
Me - Well, they come from a chickens bum
Alfie - No, really, where do eggs come from?
Me - From a chickens bum
Alfie - (puts hand on forehead) Oh no....I had no idea!

That's eggs off the menu then.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #23 on:** February 6, 2012, 12:01:48 pm »

My daughter once said to me ' Dad that mans a funny colour ' a bit too loud as well. He was, um black/coloured etc. I havent got a fucking clue what im allowed to say.

LanceLink!!!!! · « **Reply #24 on:** February 6, 2012, 12:12:11 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on February 6, 2012, 12:01:48 pm

My daughter once said to me ' Dad that mans a funny colour ' a bit too loud as well. He was, um black/coloured etc. I havent got a fucking clue what im allowed to say.

8 game ban.

Brian Blessed · « **Reply #25 on:** February 6, 2012, 02:41:18 pm »

Quote from: LanceLink on February 6, 2012, 12:12:11 pm

8 game ban.

He's just come off one.

Crimson_Tank · « **Reply #26 on:** February 6, 2012, 02:46:31 pm »

Quote from: J-Mc- on February 6, 2012, 08:48:47 am

So it's the little one whose not the C_T then?

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #27 on:** February 6, 2012, 03:06:59 pm »

Quote from: King Brian Blessed IX on February 6, 2012, 02:41:18 pm

He's just come off one.

Aye don't tempt the mods .

Lo · « **Reply #28 on:** February 6, 2012, 04:45:53 pm »

Eating tea last night and randomly Lucas comes out with this, he is 5 by the way!

Lucas "mum are you only allowed to wee standing up on a Sunday"

Me "I never wee standing up no matter what day it is"

Lucas "Ohhhhhhhhhh, is it only lesbians who can wee standing up on Sundays"

Me "Silence" Well not so much silence as pissing myself laughing but there was no answer for him

Fuck knows where he has heard any thing like that from (probably his dad)

Brian Blessed · « **Reply #29 on:** February 6, 2012, 05:36:52 pm »

Is he not correct

Voni · « **Reply #30 on:** February 6, 2012, 08:45:05 pm »

My 6 year old niece said last year:

Her:
Why are you not married?

Me:
Because nobody wants to marry me

Her:
Is it because you're too ugly?

Me:
Well thats a good a reason as any!

Her:
Well you could marry someone in France!

Me:
I don't want to live in France!

Her:
You don't have to live in France! You just have to go find them there and bring them back!

Brian Blessed · « **Reply #31 on:** February 7, 2012, 12:50:37 am »

Quote from: Voni on February 6, 2012, 08:45:05 pm

My 6 year old niece said last year:

Her:
Why are you not married?

Me:
Because nobody wants to marry me

Her:
Is it because you're too ugly?

Me:
Well thats a good a reason as any!

Her:
Well you could marry someone in France!

Me:
I don't want to live in France!

Her:
You don't have to live in France! You just have to go find them there and bring them back!

is she German?

thegoodfella · « **Reply #32 on:** February 7, 2012, 01:01:49 am »

Quote from: Voni on February 6, 2012, 08:45:05 pm

Quote from: King Brian Blessed IX on February 7, 2012, 12:50:37 am

is she German?

aggerdid · « **Reply #33 on:** February 7, 2012, 01:06:06 am »

"mum whats rape" "....its when a man does something to a woman that she doesn't want it to happen" "oh ok"

several hours later reading the tv guide and the little blurb about the bill, which was like a police drama, says something along the lines of "woman gets her handbag robbed" so i replied with "mum can i watch the bill after some woman gets raped". hilarious comment

zero zero · « **Reply #34 on:** February 7, 2012, 10:20:32 am »

Quote from: King Brian Blessed IX on February 7, 2012, 12:50:37 am

is she German?

lostpet. · « **Reply #35 on:** February 7, 2012, 01:10:19 pm »

i took my little bro (5 at the time) out for the day a few years back, we were in a shop getting him something when he turns round to this old dear behind us in the Que and says

"wow, your old, why arent you dead yet?"

i was torn between appologising and laughing my face off

Lo · « **Reply #36 on:** February 7, 2012, 02:20:52 pm »

Quote from: lostpet. on February 7, 2012, 01:10:19 pm

i took my little bro (5 at the time) out for the day a few years back, we were in a shop getting him something when he turns round to this old dear behind us in the Que and says

"wow, your old, why arent you dead yet?"

i was torn between appologising and laughing my face off

Hahahaha reminds me of an Lucas incident last year, we were in the chippy, well trying to leave but a man who looked about 124 was struggling to get down the step, so Lucas pipes up, just hurry up will you!!!

Crimson_Tank · « **Reply #37 on:** February 18, 2012, 02:03:07 am »

Tonight my son announced that "Mustard is a the greatest thing on earth"

KERRYKOP · « **Reply #38 on:** February 18, 2012, 02:21:23 am »

Stop chasing me, leave me alone!

Gets me every time

forrest1980 · « **Reply #39 on:** February 18, 2012, 08:10:53 am »

Quote from: BigJumper on February 3, 2012, 09:01:24 am

Me and my bird took the little one to my mums, she's 5 now but 4 at the time

My mum likes winding the kids up a bit, she asked when we walked in "What do YOU want?" to which the little one replied "I don't know, what have you got?" My mum's told everyone, we think she's met her match you may have had to have been there but it was hilarious

That is a fucking an ace comeback.