Topic: Everton - The 777 Unflushables

[[new username under construction]]

Going to take a wild guess and say this lad from Sporting will be incredibly underwhelming. They need someone better than Calvert Lewin who's body has basically given up on him now. I'd be surprised if he ever plays 30 games in a season again. Can't believe they didn't move him on a couple of years ago. Still no goals from out wide either.

Apparently the lad from Sporting is/was complaining about the wage offered so might not even get him yet lol

* can you say "I don't really want to play for Everton"

[Black Bull Nova]

Apparently the lad from Sporting is/was complaining about the wage offered so might not even get him yet lol

* can you say "I don't really want to play for Everton"





Never seen a club scramble around for sales and purchases quite like Everton, they must be worried about October, along the lines of "I know we broke the rules but just look at how hard we are trying to be good now"


He actually said to Bill

"You mean I have to pay £5 a week to play for what you call a legendary club, you think it's an honour to do so, stuff that I'll go to Port Vale"


Hard times

[Alisson Wonderland]

On the Easter Island monstrosity

"He is miles better than anything we have, its not even close.

You have been sucked in by the Man UNited social media cry-babies.

He is a cracking defender."

I don't see how anyone could argue with this though.  Says a lot about the state of Everton, mind.

"Everton could move for West Ham's Jamaica striker Michail Antonio after the 33-year-old failed to secure a move to Saudi Arabia"
Don't know how much truth there is in this one but if so, funny on a number of levels. Unwanted by Saudi, wanted by Everton

Now THIS would be an Everton signing to rival the famous Neal Maupay signing from last summer

[Black Bull Nova]

Pickford


Young Maguire Keane Coleman


McNeil Dacoure Onana Iwobi


Calvert-Lewin  Antonio




That's a dream time (but only if you are playing against them)


Fair play, they have a little in midfield which means they will probably sell them

[So… Howard Philips]

Going to take a wild guess and say this lad from Sporting will be incredibly underwhelming. They need someone better than Calvert Lewin who's body has basically given up on him now. I'd be surprised if he ever plays 30 games in a season again. Can't believe they didn't move him on a couple of years ago. Still no goals from out wide either.

Typical Red Shite propaganda. Believe you me Chimichanga will make the Echo joint team ahead of Nunez.

Without a shadow of doubt.

[So… Howard Philips]

24 hours gone and Flaccido hasn’t posted a bulletin on their current level of shiteness?

What’s the world coming to?

[bird_lfc]

Is there actually a more depressing club to support in existence? Honest question, since they last won something most teams would have at least celebrated a promotion or something despite previous relegation

Even the likes of Norwich, yo yo clubs but have experienced quite a few good seasons/promotions

[SamLad]

24 hours gone and Flaccido hasn’t posted a bulletin on their current level of shiteness?

What’s the world coming to?

not a surprise he couldn't keep it up.

[zero zero]

not a surprise he couldn't keep it up.

[A Red Abroad]

not a surprise he couldn't keep it up.

[PeterTheRed ...]

They've got their man!  I'm sure it was worth the wait for every Evertonian to land the player they've all been talking about... erm... Youssef Chermiti
3 goals in 21 appearances in Portugal last season.

The kid is actually quite talented. I don't know why the hell he would join a shite show like Everton ...

[So… Howard Philips]

The kid is actually quite talented. I don't know why the hell he would join a shite show like Everton ...

Looking on Toffeeweb he hasn’t signed yet so maybe he’s having second thoughts, particularly after Moise Kean’s experience there.

[Speedy Molby]

Is there actually a more depressing club to support in existence? Honest question, since they last won something most teams would have at least celebrated a promotion or something despite previous relegation

Even the likes of Norwich, yo yo clubs but have experienced quite a few good seasons/promotions

No. After Oldham were relegated to the National League last year all 91 other clubs have either won a trophy or promotion since 1995.

[DarkOfTheManatee]

Is there actually a more depressing club to support in existence? Honest question, since they last won something most teams would have at least celebrated a promotion or something despite previous relegation

Even the likes of Norwich, yo yo clubs but have experienced quite a few good seasons/promotions

Genuinely don't think so, they have the perfect combination:

• delusions of grandeur (at least if you support Barnsley you're realistic about your chances at qualifying for Europe)
• stagnation on the pitch (no trophies but no relegations that would lead to exciting promotion tilts)
• toxicity and division off the pitch (ownership being abused in the stadium, managerial choices dictated by a wall)
• glimpses of a brighter, Moshiri-backed future that turned out to be a false dawn
• fanbase so hostile that their own players are scared of them
• manager who'll get a nosebleed if they scrape into the top half

and to cap it all off, local rivals who have won every trophy under the sun in the past five years.

Still, at least they got to hound out Rafa - probably enjoyed that more than they would winning the League Cup or overcoming a 4-0 deficit in the play-offs to get promoted.

[Terry de Niro]

Genuinely don't think so, they have the perfect combination:

• delusions of grandeur (at least if you support Barnsley you're realistic about your chances at qualifying for Europe)
• stagnation on the pitch (no trophies but no relegations that would lead to exciting promotion tilts)
• toxicity and division off the pitch (ownership being abused in the stadium, managerial choices dictated by a wall)
• glimpses of a brighter, Moshiri-backed future that turned out to be a false dawn
• fanbase so hostile that their own players are scared of them
• manager who'll get a nosebleed if they scrape into the top half

and to cap it all off, local rivals who have won every trophy under the sun in the past five years.

Still, at least they got to hound out Rafa - probably enjoyed that more than they would winning the League Cup or overcoming a 4-0 deficit in the play-offs to get promoted.

Not to forget the hiring of the massive Tory Lampard who "got them" and he told Klopp to fuck off.

[So… Howard Philips]

Not to forget the hiring of the massive Tory Lampard who "got them" and he told Klopp to fuck off.

And the vicarious ownership of all the trophies Lampard and Carlo had won with their previous clubs.

[Terry de Niro]

And the vicarious ownership of all the trophies Lampard and Carlo had won with their previous clubs.

Fazackerley

[Red Beret]

I sincerely hope some club mugs them on the last day of the transfer window, £25m for T-Rex after he hands a transfer request in, and they have no time to replace him.

Don't think he's got the guts to leave though. Reckon he likes being Billy big bollocks in a small team.

[newterp]

I sincerely hope some club mugs them on the last day of the transfer window, £25m for T-Rex after he hands a transfer request in, and they have no time to replace him.

Don't think he's got the guts to leave though. Reckon he likes being Billy big bollocks in a small team.

Isn't there an outside (slim as it may be) possibility that Pikkers knows how shit he is and doesn't want to move to another team? At the Ev he's a hero despite being one of the worst keepers in the league.

[Black Bull Nova]

I sincerely hope some club mugs them on the last day of the transfer window, £25m for T-Rex after he hands a transfer request in, and they have no time to replace him.

Don't think he's got the guts to leave though. Reckon he likes being Billy big bollocks in a small team.

I prefer he stays, I think he's part of the problem, despite his god like status because he saves well occasionally.
There is nothing I would love more than to see Pickford shouting at Maguire next season for him just being Maguire.
Honestly, is anyone (including United) serious about wanting Maguire next year? He resides in the 'liabilities' column on any club balance sheet.

[Black Bull Nova]

Isn't there an outside (slim as it may be) possibility that Pikkers knows how shit he is and doesn't want to move to another team? At the Ev he's a hero despite being one of the worst keepers in the league.

He sees loads of action and chance to throw himself needlessly at obvious goals, he must be collecting the pictures of those to make up for the lack of any silverware to show his children

[Ghost Town]

He sees loads of action and chance to throw himself needlessly at obvious goals, he must be collecting the pictures of those to make up for the lack of any silverware to show throw his children

Fixed that

[FiSh77]

I sincerely hope some club mugs them on the last day of the transfer window, £25m for T-Rex after he hands a transfer request in, and they have no time to replace him.

Don't think he's got the guts to leave though. Reckon he likes being Billy big bollocks in a small team.

He's only got big bollocks cos his arms aren't long enough to empty them

[moondog]

Maguire and Pickford together at Everton would be a farce to be reckoned with.

[Son of Spion]

Maguire and Pickford together at Everton would be a farce to be reckoned with.

May the farce be with you.

[Graeme]

I see Demari Gray hasn't turned up for training for 3 days running trying to force a move to Fulham.

[rob1966]

I see Demari Gray hasn't turned up for training for 3 days running trying to force a move to Fulham.

Is he hoping to then sign for a Saudi team?

[A Red Abroad]

I see Demari Gray hasn't turned up for training for 3 days running trying to force a move to Fulham.

WORRYING TIMES™

[LuverlyRita]

Is there actually a more depressing club to support in existence?

From the comments section (submitted by user Sidfishes) of the Guardian preview of their season...

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2023/aug/04/everton-premier-league-2023-24-preview#comments

"Recipe for disaster

Take 1 deluded over-emotional fantasist with the business acumen of a pissed matelot on shore leave add a shed-full of dark money coming from dubious sources, stir in a leadership team of ‘yes’ people and half-bake for 8 seasons.

The result - a football club that’s both teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and bizarrely facing a financial fair play points deducted with a squad actually much weaker after splurging a huge fortune on players.

Everton’s demise under our chairman should be taught in business schools throughout the known world as an object lesson in how to turn a heritage brand with a loyal customer base into a hollowed out shadow of its former self swirling around the plug hole of oblivion…

Right, now I’ve got the optimism out of the way, what about our prospects this season? Bleak with a prospect of becoming bleaker even if Dyche manages to rally the squad and produce the goods on the pitch to make us into a difficult to beat unit with 44 points as the aim.

Then we only have the inevitable points deduction for our past sins to negotiate, the law suits of a pack of various previously relegated clubs to fend off and the financial fall out from the ground move to deal with.

Looks like I’ve picked the wrong season to come off the booze…"

[bird_lfc]

No. After Oldham were relegated to the National League last year all 91 other clubs have either won a trophy or promotion since 1995.

Agree with all the responses above, this is a mental stat though

Can’t even gloat about the top 4 finish because they got knocked out in the qualifiers and still managed to get upstaged by us winning the whole thing the year prior

All the above posts confirmed, there’s nothing more depressing than being a blue

[emitime]

No. After Oldham were relegated to the National League last year all 91 other clubs have either won a trophy or promotion since 1995.

And that stat will remain true, because you'd need to win the National League or its play-off to join the other 91.

[jacobs chains]

From the comments section (submitted by user Sidfishes) of the Guardian preview of their season...

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2023/aug/04/everton-premier-league-2023-24-preview#comments

"Recipe for disaster

Take 1 deluded over-emotional fantasist with the business acumen of a pissed matelot on shore leave add a shed-full of dark money coming from dubious sources, stir in a leadership team of ‘yes’ people and half-bake for 8 seasons.

The result - a football club that’s both teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and bizarrely facing a financial fair play points deducted with a squad actually much weaker after splurging a huge fortune on players.

Everton’s demise under our chairman should be taught in business schools throughout the known world as an object lesson in how to turn a heritage brand with a loyal customer base into a hollowed out shadow of its former self swirling around the plug hole of oblivion…

Right, now I’ve got the optimism out of the way, what about our prospects this season? Bleak with a prospect of becoming bleaker even if Dyche manages to rally the squad and produce the goods on the pitch to make us into a difficult to beat unit with 44 points as the aim.

Then we only have the inevitable points deduction for our past sins to negotiate, the law suits of a pack of various previously relegated clubs to fend off and the financial fall out from the ground move to deal with.

Looks like I’ve picked the wrong season to come off the booze…"

Guardian spelling or an 'object' lesson in not understanding something you've misheard. Other than that, a pretty fair summary. 

[So… Howard Philips]

Are all the disgruntled clubs waiting for the October Announcement to decide whether or not to sue?

If they get off with a suspended points deduction, and knowing their luck they will, do the others go ahead with litigation? Everton are fucking skint so unlikely to be able to pay any damages.

[Drinks Sangria]

Points deduction is looking a very real possibility indeed; I wonder what level it will be to. I can’t see the PL giving them a hill they couldn’t climb, which for me would be anything north of 12 points, but 6-9 seems a possibility and that would have relegated them in both the past two seasons.

I would like to see them relegated for at least one season, just because it’s funny. My partner’s Ma is a blue and a good lady so I wouldn’t like to see her distraught, but there’s just so much cockish behaviour from the fanbase. I keep hearing ‘they’re alright as long as you don’t talk footy.’ Doesn’t that mean they’re definitely not alright?

[Skeeve]

I see Demari Gray hasn't turned up for training for 3 days running trying to force a move to Fulham.

No offence to Fulham, but how bad are Everton that a player looks at Fulham as a big enough jump to go awol to try and force a move. 

[Son of Spion]

Is there actually a more depressing club to support in existence? Honest question...

No. They are the ultimate water treaders. Going absolutely nowhere and using every ounce of their energy to just about keep their noses above water. A club that exists but doesn't live. Without doubt the most boring, dour, miserable and depressing club in the league.

A club guaranteed to let everyone down. The masochists that can still be arsed to follow them, and those who also wish they'd finally flush. They let us all down whilst treading water and living in the last century.

[Fortneef]

Guardian spelling or an 'object' lesson in not understanding something you've misheard. Other than that, a pretty fair summary. 

object lesson
noun
a striking practical example of a principle or ideal.
"they responded to daily emergencies in a way that was an object lesson to us all"

[Skeeve]

Points deduction is looking a very real possibility indeed; I wonder what level it will be to. I can’t see the PL giving them a hill they couldn’t climb, which for me would be anything north of 12 points, but 6-9 seems a possibility and that would have relegated them in both the past two seasons.

I would like to see them relegated for at least one season, just because it’s funny. My partner’s Ma is a blue and a good lady so I wouldn’t like to see her distraught, but there’s just so much cockish behaviour from the fanbase. I keep hearing ‘they’re alright as long as you don’t talk footy.’ Doesn’t that mean they’re definitely not alright?

I still think that when they do get relegated, it won't be for one season and they are more likely to drop further than get promoted.

[[new username under construction]]

Plenty of them are sure it's a tax thing so there won't be any points deduction at all

[disgraced cake]

May the farce be with you.

 

Seriously though, get it done. There was a part of me that wanted Pickford to go to Man United just to see how much they'd hate him when he'd be dead shit, but now they've signed Onana. I've also been thinking for a couple of years now how much sense Maguire to Everton makes. Seems primed along Scott McTominay to make the switch to Everton when they can finally shift him. That said I'd love to see Maguire see out his contract at Man United.