Author Topic: All About Skrtel (Read 75810 times)

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #160 on:** July 4, 2008, 01:02:12 am »

When Torres scored a goal, Martin Skrtel will stare at Torres and said "That's my fucking goal." and the goal will be credited to him.

harwood91 · « **Reply #161 on:** July 4, 2008, 01:50:52 am »

God created the world in 7 days, but Martin Skrtel destroyed it in 6

Jussi Jaaskelainen saw the ball going wide, Martin Skrtel stared at him with a face full of rage, it was then Jaaskelainen knew what he had to do! he dived and headed the ball into his own net

Freddie ljungberg turned up for one of his model shoots, martin skrtel showed up, ripped freddies calvin kleins right up his a***hole and turned his balls into coliflours!

This thread is hilarious!

sabbathfan · « **Reply #162 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:04:03 am »

God created Adam and Eve and he told them not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. The fuckwits would've listened to him if he'd only told them its other name. Martin Skrtel's Tree of Knowledge. Thousands of years later women still feel the pain of childbirth because Eve ate Martin Skrtel's apple.

sabbathfan · « **Reply #163 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:06:27 am »

Hadrian built a wall across northern England. Many historians once believed this was to keep the Picts out of England. But recent discoveries have shown that it was an ill fated attempt to keep Martin Skrtel, who had recently emigrated to Dundee, out of england.

The Roman Empire fell. Martin Skrtel is still here.

sabbathfan · « **Reply #164 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:07:08 am »

Martin Skrtel plays dominos with the stones from Stone Henge

sabbathfan · « **Reply #165 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:08:14 am »

The first time Martin Skrtel made a sliding challenge the Dinosaurs were wiped out.

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #166 on:** July 4, 2008, 03:27:41 am »

Martin Skrtel invented the phone, not Alexander Bell.

scott19283746500 · « **Reply #167 on:** July 4, 2008, 07:35:01 am »

For a woman, having sex with Martin Skrtel is like giving birth.... backwards.
If you can see Martin Skrtel, he can see you. If you can't see Martin Skrtel, you may be moments away from certain death.

axb96m · « **Reply #168 on:** July 4, 2008, 08:34:55 am »

In Martin Skrtel's fridge even the soft cheeses are hard!

gnaume · « **Reply #169 on:** July 4, 2008, 11:01:55 am »

if Martin Skrtel takes a bath he doesn't get wet, the water gets Martin Skrtel

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #170 on:** July 4, 2008, 11:04:07 am »

At Liverpool, Martin Skrtel will decide other 10 men line up and tactics, not Rafa. And he decides which player Liverpool will sign.

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #171 on:** July 4, 2008, 11:10:35 am »

If you give 2 yellow cards to a player, he'll be sent off.
If you give 2 yellow cards to Martin Skrtel, he stays.

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #172 on:** July 4, 2008, 11:20:57 am »

Carol Beer (Little Britain) will say "Computer says yes" to Martin Skrtel or she'll lose her head.

Bryan_L · « **Reply #173 on:** July 4, 2008, 12:14:42 pm »

Quote from: mightykopite8 on July 4, 2008, 11:10:35 am

If you give 2 yellow cards to a player, he'll be sent off.
If you give 2 yellow cards to Martin Skrtel, he stays.

If the ref give 2 yellow cards to a player, he'll be sent off.
If the ref give 2 yellow cards to Martin Skrtel, the ref get sent off.

rosie · « **Reply #174 on:** July 4, 2008, 12:29:54 pm »

The ref just hands the cards to Skrtel, Skrtel decides who stays on the pitch.

rosie · « **Reply #175 on:** July 4, 2008, 12:34:13 pm »

In 'Goodfellas' Skrtel tells Tommy DeVito 'You're a funny guy!" and Tommy DeVito agrees.

cox3100 · « **Reply #176 on:** July 4, 2008, 12:37:49 pm »

Quote from: Bryan_L on July 4, 2008, 12:14:42 pm

If the ref give 2 yellow cards to a player, he'll be sent off.
If the ref give 2 yellow cards to Martin Skrtel, the ref get sent off.

unrealistic,martin skirtel never gets 2 yellow cards

rosie · « **Reply #177 on:** July 4, 2008, 01:29:01 pm »

martin skrtel can jump the q on pensioners day at the post office and the arl arses say nowt!

martin skrtel can take 11 items through the 10 items only till at ASDA and no one complains!

cox3100 · « **Reply #178 on:** July 4, 2008, 01:32:01 pm »

martin skirtel doesnt ask jeeves,he f****** tells him

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #179 on:** July 4, 2008, 01:52:03 pm »

if Martin Skrtel comes to McNasty's in the middle of the night, he will get his food.

rosie · « **Reply #180 on:** July 4, 2008, 01:54:47 pm »

purple aki is too shit scared to touch skrtel's muscles.

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #181 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:12:58 pm »

Skrtel can seat anywhere he wants in a cinema

kitster · « **Reply #182 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:15:20 pm »

Quote from: rosie on July 4, 2008, 01:54:47 pm

purple aki is too shit scared to touch skrtel's muscles.

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #183 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:30:01 pm »

Goals scored by Martin Skrtel always count double for Liverpool. Even own goals.

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #184 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:49:31 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on July 4, 2008, 02:30:01 pm

Goals scored by Martin Skrtel always count double for Liverpool. Even own goals.

Rafasacolytereturns · « **Reply #185 on:** July 4, 2008, 02:49:52 pm »

Rafa doesn't have any "possibilities" when it comes to not playing Martin Skrtel

rosie · « **Reply #186 on:** July 4, 2008, 03:09:53 pm »

Martin Skrtel rotates Rafa, for sure.

IrishDave · « **Reply #187 on:** July 4, 2008, 03:10:05 pm »

Jesus walks on water
Skrtel swims through land

rosie · « **Reply #188 on:** July 4, 2008, 03:11:03 pm »

Quote from: IrishDave on July 4, 2008, 03:10:05 pm

Jesus walks on water
Skrtel swims through land

Greg · « **Reply #189 on:** July 4, 2008, 03:19:11 pm »

Quote from: rosie on July 4, 2008, 01:54:47 pm

purple aki is too shit scared to touch skrtel's muscles.

Off topic, but did anyone see these from Glastonbury?

Fucking brilliant.

maher · « **Reply #190 on:** July 4, 2008, 03:26:00 pm »

Quote from: gnaume on July 4, 2008, 11:01:55 am

if Martin Skrtel takes a bath he doesn't get wet, the water gets Martin Skrtel

great one

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #191 on:** July 4, 2008, 03:36:48 pm »

Quote from: IrishDave on July 4, 2008, 03:10:05 pm

Jesus walks on water
Skrtel swims through land

Anfield Adorer · « **Reply #192 on:** July 4, 2008, 06:21:04 pm »

God created the universe, Martin Skrtel played Nintendo

Martin Skrtel doesn't bend it like Beckham, He bends Beckham and invites Ronaldo

Martin Skrtel doesn't waste time on internet, or else we all wouldn't be here anymore

red_dub · « **Reply #193 on:** July 4, 2008, 06:34:47 pm »

when a player is tackled by skrtel, their grandparents feel it

great tread

mightykopite8 · « **Reply #194 on:** July 4, 2008, 06:43:18 pm »

Martin Skrtel doesn't have enemies. Because he ate them all.

The Infamous_LFC · « **Reply #195 on:** July 4, 2008, 06:45:25 pm »

Saw this on another forum didn't see it in here so decided to post it

Lady_brandybuck · « **Reply #196 on:** July 4, 2008, 06:50:01 pm »

Quote from: IrishDave on July 4, 2008, 03:10:05 pm

Jesus walks on water
Skrtel swims through land

Best so far....

Rob17 · « **Reply #197 on:** July 4, 2008, 07:02:36 pm »

Skirtel through a snickers bar at B A Berakas and said the only fool aound here was him...

Cribertinokes · « **Reply #198 on:** July 4, 2008, 07:57:55 pm »

Martin Skrtel frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Every year on his birthday, Martin Skrtel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

cox3100 · « **Reply #199 on:** July 4, 2008, 07:59:56 pm »

martin skirtel is not the messiah,he is a very naughty boy