Topic: Cancer

[Bioluminescence]

Lost my aunt (mum's sister) to cancer Friday morning. She's been battling it for 14 years of which the 13½ years have been pretty good. But now her organs couldn't fight anymore. She didn't let go until her 2 daughters told they were fine and they could manage even if she wasn't here anymore. She was om morphine very 3 hours to numb the pain and after they had the talk about being able to take care og themselves it only took 45 mins and then she was gone.

RIP Kirsten and say hello to Uncle up there.

Sorry for your loss, thinking of you. Hope it goes as well as possible on Thursday.

RIP Kirsten.

[Chakan]

Sorry for your loss mate

RIP

Such a bastard of a disease.

[Lady_brandybuck]

Lost my aunt (mum's sister) to cancer Friday morning. She's been battling it for 14 years of which the 13½ years have been pretty good. But now her organs couldn't fight anymore. She didn't let go until her 2 daughters told they were fine and they could manage even if she wasn't here anymore. She was om morphine very 3 hours to numb the pain and after they had the talk about being able to take care og themselves it only took 45 mins and then she was gone.

RIP Kirsten and say hello to Uncle up there.

Sorry for your loss Thom. May she rest in peace now

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Thank you, Kat.

[Socratease]

The kindnest of others and heartfelt understanding giving voice is what continually brings me back to Rawk, I lost my father due to cancer (leukaemia), my best of wishes to you Bennekov.


,

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Thank you Bio, Chakan and Socratease.

[Crimson_Tank]

Just catching up on this thread, Bennekov, I am so sorry for your loss.

RIP YNWA

[Fighting Irishman]

My mam was diagnosed in Feb last year, tumour in her lung and on her thyroid gland, we were devastated, things looked so bleak, she went through and intensive 6 week chemo programme and came out the other side with flying colours!

She went from strength to strength, 3 month scans to monitor her tumours were all so positive, docs were delighted with her progress, they told us from the outset that the tumours couldn't be removed but they were hopeful of 'management'.

Last Thurs she had her routine 3 month scan, she told the doc she had been suffering from headaches (she kept this from us) for the last month, he ran a CT scan and we were devastated to learn of 2 new tumours on the brain, its been a whirlwind few days, she was admitted immediately and started a 2 week programme of full brain radiation yesterday, the doc said even though she looks and feels physically well, there's a lot going on inside!!

We're all trying to keep as positive as possible, as I said, things were bleak last year and she responded so well to the treatment we're hoping for more of the same.

Thoughts and prayers are with all others suffering with the terrible disease.

Update,

Unfortunately the radium really knocked my mam flat, we were told how exhausted she would be after it but that all going well with plenty of rest she would regain her strength again until 'next time' I suppose.

That was 12 weeks ago, as I type my mum is sleeping in a local hospice under the fantastic care palliative care team, she has been there 3 weeks, not been home in 8.

To watch her deteriorate in front of our eyes has been heart-breaking, we are spending as much time with her as possible while trying not to scare her or wear her out, unfortunately we have been told she has a few weeks at best but that can change overnight.

While she is conscious and aware of her surroundings, she thinks she's there for respite and will be going home once she's better, we got confirmation today that we can bring her home for a few hours Sat afternoon which we are all delighted with, I'll ensure that we make a big fuss over her and get all the grandkids etc. around.

My head is spinning at the moment and I am making mistakes in work etc. that I would usually expect from a junior staff member, it's annoying me as I pride myself on my ability to work under pressure (the norm in my job) but it's amazing what affect a family members illness can have on you, I presume its like an early onset of grief in a way.

I am constantly thinking about the inevitable funeral etc. and trying to put on a brave face for my family, I am the eldest of 3 and am like a father figure in a way even though my dad is a great dad, he just doesn't deal well with bad situations so I took it on myself to be strong from an early age.

Just needed to ramble a little, I feel a little better for it.

Thoughts go out to all those in similar situations.

YNWA

[JohnnoWhite]

Ah Sorry for your troubles.
Just do whatever it takes so that all of you - especially her - can enjoy the time that's left. You'll have to try to put out of your mind the thoughts that it is going to end soon - for her sake as well as your own mate.

I know exactly what you're saying about going from being Mr. Dependable at work you've turned into "couldn't give a fuck - man" almost overnight. Been there is similar circumstances mate when my Mam died very suddenly. I got a phone call from my brother-in-law while I was in work to tell me she had collapsed and she was dead. I just called my boss from my office and simply said I'm going home and don't know when I'll be back but I know I'm no use to you or anyone here as I am.

I never got to say goodbye to my mam mate - make the most of her while she's still around is my advice.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

So sorry for your situation, FI.

My aunt who we buried yesterday went through the same deterioration as you describe and that's very hard to watch when there's nothing you can do. As Johnno says make the most of it while she's around and conscious.

God bless!

[JohnnoWhite]

So sorry for your situation, FI.

My aunt who we buried yesterday went through the same deterioration as you describe and that's very hard to watch when there's nothing you can do. As Johnno says make the most of it while she's around and conscious.

God bless!

Hope her leaving day was suitably marked with pride mate. May she rest in peace.

[Crosby Nick]

Update,

Horrible stuff mate, I wish you all the best.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Hope her leaving day was suitably marked with pride mate. May she rest in peace.

Thanks, Johnno.

It was a beautiful autumn day with the sun out and a bit of wind and the priest said some nice words as did my cousin, her oldest daughter, so when we met afterwards for a glass of wine, beer etc it was in a atmosphere with many funny anecdotes and stories to lift our moods. A good all in all.

[JohnnoWhite]

Ah good to hear mate - that's the really civilised way to mark the departure of and to say your last goodbyes to one who was very much loved. Well done to all Bennekov.

[Fighting Irishman]

Me again.

Thanks for all your best wishes!

Since I last typed, we were called on Friday night to say she had taken a bad turn and we should come in immediately, we were there in 20 mins and stayed with her for the next 48 hours, while she drifted in and out of deep sleeps she kept asking why we were all there and who was looking after the kids? A mammies instincts never change I suppose.

On Sat she asked my wife to get a pen and paper and she proceeded to call out each of the 6 grandkids names and a what she wanted to buy them, ranging from a PlayStation game for the eldest to a doll for the youngest, my daughter Ella who's only 7 months old.

I was instructed to go shopping then and bring everything back to her. We did that on Sunday and wrapped all the presents and put them beside her bed, we then brought all the grandkids in and she tended to them all with what little energy she has, the twinkle in her eye returned and her beautiful smile, I struggled to contain my emotions but we held it together for both her and the kids sake, it was a beautiful bittersweet time and we even took a few photos, not something I'd do but she encouraged it and I'm so grateful to have one or 2 more pics now to cherish, especially one with my one and only child.

We were advised to go home and rest last night by her team as we will need our energy when the time comes, we met with the team again this morning who examined her and said that she has deteriorated a lot over the weekend and is now in her final days, while we knew that its still so hard to hear.

I'm home now chilling out for a while and have decided to stay with her overnight tonight, my brother and sister are there with her now, the docs said that when her time comes they expect it to be very sudden so we want to make sure she's not alone.

I'm going to bring the laptop with me tonight and start putting together her eulogy while she sleeps beside me, I have done 2 before but for your own mam is a different ball game, I'm hoping having her beside me will inspire me to convey the emotions I am going through (any advice would be greatly appreciated).

I have never been in a Hospice before but I have to say the last 3 weeks have really opened my eyes to the kindness and dedication shown by the staff and volunteers, it's more than just a 'job' to them, it's a way of life, it's made me think long and hard and I know when all this is behind me I will do something to pay it back, whether it be as a volunteer myself or in the form of charity, they really are inspiring.

[JohnnoWhite]

Ah lad what a lovely thing you're doing for the lady that bore you. Never you worry - she'll know believe me she will know.

May God grant her a pain-free, safe passage when the time comes. Thoughts are with your family.

[Fighting Irishman]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

[John C]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

Sorry to hear that mate, sincere condolences to you all.

[KERRYKOP]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

So sorry for you and your family's loss.

[Bioluminescence]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

So sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.

[Crosby Nick]

You've done your Mum proud mate, I'm sorry for your loss.

[shelovesyou]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Irishman, thoughts are with you and yours.

[JohnnoWhite]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside

May she rest in peace mate and condolences to you all.

[Maggie May]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

Please accept my deepest sympathy.   You did your Mam proud.  Good lad.

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

Condolences.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

My condolences, Fighting Irishman. When my dad passed I too found solace in the fact he was no longer struggling and in pain. God bless.

[Humperdinck]

Sorry for your loss mate and to you aswell Bennekov. Wish there was something else I could do or say.

[telekon]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

Sympathy for yourself and your family. Very strong of you to read the eulogy.

[kavah]

My mam passed away last Fri morning with us all at her bedside, we buried her yesterday and there were many people who couldn't even get into the church which was a measure of her popularity, I read her eulogy and afterwards everybody commended me on a job well done, saying how proud she would of been, it's given me some comfort thinking of her smiling down on me.

So much going on in my head now but I'm glad she's resting now, her struggle is over and she's at peace.

so sorry to hear that la.

[Fighting Irishman]

Thanks to all.

Feeling numb today, didn't sleep well last night, heading back to the hospice tomorrow to thank the staff etc. got a nice card and a couple of boxes of chocolates, it's the least I can do for now.

[JohnnoWhite]

Thanks to all.

Feeling numb today, didn't sleep well last night, heading back to the hospice tomorrow to thank the staff etc. got a nice card and a couple of boxes of chocolates, it's the least I can do for now.

You'll feel like that for some time mate. The process of healing will as ever take time.

But as far as I can see you have done all the right things and this next proposed visit to thank the staff who gave your mam all the comfort and care that was possible is a very positive thing. Keep strong and it DOES get better - I promise you.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

You'll feel like that for some time mate. The process of healing will as ever take time.

But as far as I can see you have done all the right things and this next proposed visit to thank the staff who gave your mam all the comfort and care that was possible is a very positive thing. Keep strong and it DOES get better - I promise you.

Spot on as always, Johnno. Keep strong, Fighting Irishman.

[FiSh77]

lost my dad last night

he was diagnosed with leukaemia nearly 3 1/2 years ago and told he had a life expectancy of around 2 years, he was doing great until around june of this year when his medication stopped working and was given 3 to 6 months, anyway they started him on different medication at the beginning of august and the leukaemia went back into remission again but the drugs also wiped out his immune system so for the past 2 months he's been suffering from various infections and had been in hospital a few weeks ago with pneumonia, he never recovered from it and was readmitted to hospital on wednesday with pneumonia again, he'd had a rough couple of nights then yesterday morning the hospital phoned my mum and said he was critical so was at the hospital most of yesterday with my mum, sister and her husband but we all left in the early evening so he could get some rest as he was always trying to talk even though he was wearing an oxygen mask that covered most of his face and was having difficulty breathing

anyway my mum phoned me at 11.30 last night saying he was in critical condition again, i don't have a car and ended up wasting 10 minutes phoning about for a taxi which is impossible on a saturday night so had to cycle to the hospital and he'd already passed away, my mum had only just got there as well as she lives 10 miles or so further away than me and my sister had a 50 mile drive to get there so he died with nobody at his side, feel really guilty about not being there for him even though all day he was telling me not to worry

been home since 2 and can't sleep, i'm 43 and it's the first time i've lost a close relative as all my grand parents either died before i was born or was very young so don't really know how to handle it plus i've got to phone my own kids to let them know which i'm dreading

i know it's not the leukaemia that killed him in the end but if it wasn't for that he wouldn't have been on the drugs which wiped his immune system out, absolute c*nt of a disease

[goalspaytherent]

lost my dad last night

he was diagnosed with leukaemia nearly 3 1/2 years ago and told he had a life expectancy of around 2 years, he was doing great until around june of this year when his medication stopped working and was given 3 to 6 months, anyway they started him on different medication at the beginning of august and the leukaemia went back into remission again but the drugs also wiped out his immune system so for the past 2 months he's been suffering from various infections and had been in hospital a few weeks ago with pneumonia, he never recovered from it and was readmitted to hospital on wednesday with pneumonia again, he'd had a rough couple of nights then yesterday morning the hospital phoned my mum and said he was critical so was at the hospital most of yesterday with my mum, sister and her husband but we all left in the early evening so he could get some rest as he was always trying to talk even though he was wearing an oxygen mask that covered most of his face and was having difficulty breathing

anyway my mum phoned me at 11.30 last night saying he was in critical condition again, i don't have a car and ended up wasting 10 minutes phoning about for a taxi which is impossible on a saturday night so had to cycle to the hospital and he'd already passed away, my mum had only just got there as well as she lives 10 miles or so further away than me and my sister had a 50 mile drive to get there so he died with nobody at his side, feel really guilty about not being there for him even though all day he was telling me not to worry

been home since 2 and can't sleep, i'm 43 and it's the first time i've lost a close relative as all my grand parents either died before i was born or was very young so don't really know how to handle it plus i've got to phone my own kids to let them know which i'm dreading

i know it's not the leukaemia that killed him in the end but if it wasn't for that he wouldn't have been on the drugs which wiped his immune system out, absolute c*nt of a disease

So sorry to hear of your loss mate

[AndyMuller]

lost my dad last night

he was diagnosed with leukaemia nearly 3 1/2 years ago and told he had a life expectancy of around 2 years, he was doing great until around june of this year when his medication stopped working and was given 3 to 6 months, anyway they started him on different medication at the beginning of august and the leukaemia went back into remission again but the drugs also wiped out his immune system so for the past 2 months he's been suffering from various infections and had been in hospital a few weeks ago with pneumonia, he never recovered from it and was readmitted to hospital on wednesday with pneumonia again, he'd had a rough couple of nights then yesterday morning the hospital phoned my mum and said he was critical so was at the hospital most of yesterday with my mum, sister and her husband but we all left in the early evening so he could get some rest as he was always trying to talk even though he was wearing an oxygen mask that covered most of his face and was having difficulty breathing

anyway my mum phoned me at 11.30 last night saying he was in critical condition again, i don't have a car and ended up wasting 10 minutes phoning about for a taxi which is impossible on a saturday night so had to cycle to the hospital and he'd already passed away, my mum had only just got there as well as she lives 10 miles or so further away than me and my sister had a 50 mile drive to get there so he died with nobody at his side, feel really guilty about not being there for him even though all day he was telling me not to worry

been home since 2 and can't sleep, i'm 43 and it's the first time i've lost a close relative as all my grand parents either died before i was born or was very young so don't really know how to handle it plus i've got to phone my own kids to let them know which i'm dreading

i know it's not the leukaemia that killed him in the end but if it wasn't for that he wouldn't have been on the drugs which wiped his immune system out, absolute c*nt of a disease

Sorry to hear about your loss, if you need to talk to anyone this place is full of kind people. Take care mate.

[John C]

lost my dad last night

Condolences mate, it's a horrible time, thoughts are with you.

[FiSh77]

thanks

[Maggie May]

lost my dad last night

Please accept my sincere sympathy deepest condolences.  Yes.  It is a bastard of a disease.

Don't flay yourself that you were not physically there.  Your Dad died in the knowledge that he was deeply and truly loved  It must have been like a warm cloak surrounding him as he drifted into his final sleep.  I know these are awful days.  But I am sure you will do right by your Dad.  And I also know one more thing.  Close your eyes.  Think of the good days.  And he will be there. 

[JohnnoWhite]

Sorry to hear of your sad loss mate.

Take every word of Maggie's post above and think each one through - you'll see she's spot on mate. Your dad is always with you - it's how it is when people love each other.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

I'm so sorry for your loss, FiSh77.

Again I'd like to echo Johnno's wise words: Take every word Maggie wrote and think about them. She IS spot on.

Please don't hold anything in when you mourn your Dad's passing. Talking about it helps so much more than holding it in.