Topic: Shanklyboy's and Fat Scousers ( Leo who's still alive ) auld arse thread

[Fat Scouser]

I remember going to Villa Park for a night game and they closed all the pubs bar 1. It was heaving...everyone standing outside. So the police came and shut it down. Which left 1,000s of thirsty Scousers with nothing to do....Well except throwing fruit at the Pakistani Elvis impersonater wearing the full Rhinestone gear, working in the fruit shop..........but that's another story.

Anyhow we walked around like lost souls until we found a working mans club which was full of Sieks. Jeeeezus those fellers can drink. We had a ball. All up on the tables singing. Great stuff.
Next thing the police raid the place and there's all kinds of kick offs with them and the Sieks who were having a ball.

Shanks, except for Paddies market I'd honestly never ever seen a Pakistani in me life. We went to Walsall for that wednesday cup game and ended up fighting loads of the fuckers. They all came running out of the dark with hockey sticks and got right into us. I will probably get kicked off now for racist comments. But fuck you RAWK PC police, It is true. And these are the sort of things that used to happen before being baldy became follically challenged.

[Fat Scouser]

I went to the Villa Real friendly. I got a coach from Arthur's bar in Benidorm. I was last on it. Arthur had to chase the coach in he's car and get me on. when I got on, it was full of auld fuckers from Kirkby. I was made up to see them. Just like the old days. And you should have seen the fucker's descending on the services like locusts when we stopped.
It was hilarious. Our day out melarkey.

[Fat Scouser]

Looks like I'm on me todd, so I will leave you with this thought... have you ever seen the Pier Head on the front of a Lambrini bottle?

[kesey]

I'm not that senile ( yet ! ) I got the joke, just happens there was more than a grain of truth about it.

Boom Tish and here's thinking that it went sailing over ya baldy head.   

I have mates in the mid -  late 40's and  they speak of that crowd to.

[Fat Scouser]

Ahh well, looks like all the auld fellas have gone for a nice warm milky drink and a nap....
Oh you are a mucky kid
Dirty as a dust bin lid

[1964red]

My 1st game was reds v chelsea in 64. I have some tales to tell, not sure the statute of limitations would protect me so can only tell ones that ( I think) will not be followed up.

The night before the '71 final a group of us kitted out in our best pulling gear went on a pub crawl around Halewood, start at the Derby Arms, to the leather bottle, over to the 'Bents', back the bottle and come kicking out time we well up for going to the final even though we only had a a couple of quid left between us and no tickets for the game. Still that didn't matter so off we go (about 10 of us) and end up on the motorway hitching...I mean who would stop for us lot.....but miracles happen and this flat back coal lorry pulls up, cab full of reds fans and loads sitting on the back. so up we climb to join them. We picked up a few more drunken idiots who had the same brilliant idea as us and in all there must have been about 40 to 50 mad scouse bastards on the back of that filthy lorry. By the time we got to B/Ham we were cold, sober and covered in coal dust hanging on for dear life. The lorry drove staright into the centre of London in the early hours of Saturday. We could hardly walk when we climbed down freezing cold and starving, black faces, dirty clobber, no money no tickets and bloody miserable. Still we thought the driver was a good un, him going out of his way to take us to London 'n all.

We were going to thank him , when the ones who were in the cab with him jumped out and ran off and others started doing the same. Apparently he wasn't so generous after all. He picked up some lads in Kirkby on the east lancs with the intention of dropping them off at the jinction with the M6 and one of them pulled a knife and made him drive all the way to London and forcing him to stop and pick up any reds on the way.

Anyway, with no ticket we had no chance of getting in to Wembley, but like 1000' of other reds we went anyway.  a gate was rushed and forced open and loads of us got in for free halfway thru the game only to see that smug ugly twat George laying down on the grass after his spawny winner...( I still can't watch repalys of that goal!)

Some of us climbed into the luggage compartments of coaches and got home late Sunday that way. I bunked on one of the specials as I'd done many times in the past and the cord was duly pulled at Hunts Cross so that we could get off and have a short walk home. I knew we should have just gone home after leaving the bottle!!

[shanklyboy]

Scrathwood was 86 with pop mcdonagh,

Played footy against Pop Mc.
Fucking nutter!


EDIT: Just realised I didn't play footy against him! That was one of his relatives.....who was also a nutter.
I know him because he had a slight disagreement with my brother.Which involved things that go bang!All friendly stuff.
I won't go into detail but I think you can see where I'm coming from.
 

[Fat Scouser]

Loved that story 1984 red, except for the knife bit. I suppose nothing changes though, eh mate. But I'm an auld fat skinhead hippy peacenik meself. I'm drunk again but only on a curer - not bladdered like. Having a Liverpool/LFC night with me bird and grandaughter. Honest, you'd be shocked what great music we have... Heart as big as city.
You dancin?
You askin?

[It's Jimmy Corkhill]

3-star jumpers

[redrockydennis]

My 1st game was reds v chelsea in 64. I have some tales to tell, not sure the statute of limitations would protect me so can only tell ones that ( I think) will not be followed up.

The night before the '71 final a group of us kitted out in our best pulling gear went on a pub crawl around Halewood, start at the Derby Arms, to the leather bottle, over to the 'Bents', back the bottle and come kicking out time we well up for going to the final even though we only had a a couple of quid left between us and no tickets for the game. Still that didn't matter so off we go (about 10 of us) and end up on the motorway hitching...I mean who would stop for us lot.....but miracles happen and this flat back coal lorry pulls up, cab full of reds fans and loads sitting on the back. so up we climb to join them. We picked up a few more drunken idiots who had the same brilliant idea as us and in all there must have been about 40 to 50 mad scouse bastards on the back of that filthy lorry. By the time we got to B/Ham we were cold, sober and covered in coal dust hanging on for dear life. The lorry drove staright into the centre of London in the early hours of Saturday. We could hardly walk when we climbed down freezing cold and starving, black faces, dirty clobber, no money no tickets and bloody miserable. Still we thought the driver was a good un, him going out of his way to take us to London 'n all.

We were going to thank him , when the ones who were in the cab with him jumped out and ran off and others started doing the same. Apparently he wasn't so generous after all. He picked up some lads in Kirkby on the east lancs with the intention of dropping them off at the jinction with the M6 and one of them pulled a knife and made him drive all the way to London and forcing him to stop and pick up any reds on the way.

Anyway, with no ticket we had no chance of getting in to Wembley, but like 1000' of other reds we went anyway.  a gate was rushed and forced open and loads of us got in for free halfway thru the game only to see that smug ugly twat George laying down on the grass after his spawny winner...( I still can't watch repalys of that goal!)

Some of us climbed into the luggage compartments of coaches and got home late Sunday that way. I bunked on one of the specials as I'd done many times in the past and the cord was duly pulled at Hunts Cross so that we could get off and have a short walk home. I knew we should have just gone home after leaving the bottle!!

boss story nice one fella!

[mikeb58]

Always remember we had trouble at Derby County,that lanky get Roger Davies ( ? ) would always score against us for a start,and their fans were the smash the coach and run type.

Went there a few times, but though I'm crap with dates, I'll always remember Sat Feb 28th 1976, drew with derby 1-1 ( probably Davies ! ) and I was in a mad rush to get home cos T.Rex were playing in New Brighton that night.

Didn't think they'd be a problem getting back in time, but our coach was serverely delayed in Derby by the local bobbies, nothing to do with footie that day, that all went smoothly,this was all down to a telly shop that got robbed near the ground.

Now this bit is funny,and believe me it's true, when the coppers boarded the coach looking for a  portable telly, some fella had it, and got rid of it by off loading it on to another fan, he did like wise ..........and so on and so on. This telly was getting chucked around the coach at the speed of knots  !!

But not only that, all sorts of other nicked stuff suddenly appeared and got the same 'pass the parcel ' treatment, I tell you it was fuckin hilarious looking back,but at the time I was pissed off incase I missed the T.Rex gig, cos the coppers turned that coach over good style and took their time doing it.

The coppers got a load of stuff back but didn't arrest anybody,there was  no point, there was no way of telling who had what and why, the coach got back to Liverpool nearly about 9pm then I had to dash over to New Brighton for the gig, luckily Bolan had a habit of starting shows late around that time cos he was pissed, and that was one of those nights !

[Fat Scouser]

Chuffed to fucking bits, but I tell you what... reading some of the shite on here over the last 24 hours has left me feeling very auld indeed and probably put about 10 year on me.....
Frankie said Chill Out apparently.

[redprodigal]

Chuffed to fucking bits, but I tell you what... reading some of the shite on here over the last 24 hours has left me feeling very auld indeed and probably put about 10 year on me.....
Frankie said Chill Out apparently.

FS, are you pissed again, I think you're on the wrong thread 

[kesey]

Have a guess who I randomly bumped into today in Bournemouth?

Thanks for the pint fatty and I've modified the word arl to auld after ya' tattoo.     




Der , der der derderderderderderderderderderder   

[lfc_col]

this is class reading what you get up to as a youngster its quiet a fascinating read 

[Fat Scouser]

Have a guess who I randomly bumped into today in Bournemouth?

Thanks for the pint fatty and I've modified the word arl to auld after ya' tattoo.    




Der , der der derderderderderderderderderderder   

Nice one young man. Good luck on your travels.

But just popped into to ask what all the other auld arses, think of the season so far?
What with all the Rappin Ryan and I Want Cunnilingus With Nando threads on here, I thought it would be nice to actually chat about some footy with some other grumpy arl bastards.

[casey]

Been reading this thread as one of the arl arses, them days I was usually worried about getting a good kicking, I lost a tooth at a night game against Derby sometime in the seventies, though the bastard that did it got the kicking.

Now I worry about having a heart attack or my blood pressure watching the footy.  How times change.

And dont laugh cos me dad had a heart attack during the Lpool v Everton  league cup final, it can happen.  We had to ban him from watching live games after that.

[Fat Scouser]

FS, are you pissed again, I think you're on the wrong thread 

Just read some of me old comments, and I don't know about pissed... I think I must have been sniffing glue

[freddwarf]

First hit the Kop in '59 via the Boys pen. I was a skinny rat-faced 9 year old. It was early on in the season an we were playings Keegans team,Scunthorpe United. We beat them 2-0 , Roger got the second. I remember thinkin' at the time...where did all the piss come from,coz if yer got a speck at the front,yer were standin' in a puddle of piss. I could just about see over the wall but it was still magic. Looking at it a few years later I found out that the crowd was only 31 thousand odd. Didn't matter really,what mattered was that was me stuck with it,a lifelong Red. Smitten.Still shout at the wife, an kick the dog if we get beat. Best night was when we beat Inter 3-1 in the Semi-final of the European cup.Take that night with me to the grave.

[shanklyboy]

First hit the Kop in '59 via the Boys pen. I was a skinny rat-faced 9 year old. It was early on in the season an we were playings Keegans team,Scunthorpe United. We beat them 2-0 , Roger got the second. I remember thinkin' at the time...where did all the piss come from,coz if yer got a speck at the front,yer were standin' in a puddle of piss. I could just about see over the wall but it was still magic. Looking at it a few years later I found out that the crowd was only 31 thousand odd. Didn't matter really,what mattered was that was me stuck with it,a lifelong Red. Smitten.Still shout at the wife, an kick the dog if we get beat. Best night was when we beat Inter 3-1 in the Semi-final of the European cup.Take that night with me to the grave.

With a name like fred dwarf, you've got to be one of FS's old mates.

[shanklyboy]

But just popped into to ask what all the other auld arses, think of the season so far?
What with all the Rappin Ryan and I Want Cunnilingus With Nando threads on here, I thought it would be nice to actually chat about some footy with some other grumpy arl bastards.

I know what you mean FS.
I don't get all that malarkey!
I'm really enjoying the season so far....who wouldn't be ( Apart from the negative gobshites in here)
There's something different about the team mentality this season that I like.
We know it's early days and a few banana skins lie in wait. If we can swerve them then who knows what can happen.

Just strap yourself in and enjoy the ride lad.

[Fat Scouser]

Shanks, I'm loving it mate. I think it's hilarious. It reminds me of the good old days.
Pick up the paper..... Man Utd (Near the bottom of the league) 12,000 Bin men of Denmark 0.
Isn't football brilliant.

Liverpool 1 Champions of France 0
Liverpool 3 Champions of Holland 1
Liverpool 2 Champions of England, Europe and The Universe 1
Isn't football shite.

All I'm scared of now is Grameme Souness and Richard Keys saying we are good.

[Dr. Beaker]

I'm always optimistic but this season I'm prepared to admit it. We're not quite firing on all four cylinders yet, but I don't think anyone looks better than us at the moment.

[shanklyboy]

Shanks, I'm loving it mate. I think it's hilarious. It reminds me of the good old days.
Pick up the paper..... Man Utd (Near the bottom of the league) 12,000 Bin men of Denmark 0.
Isn't football brilliant.

Liverpool 1 Champions of France 0
Liverpool 3 Champions of Holland 1
Liverpool 2 Champions of England, Europe and The Universe 1
Isn't football shite.

All I'm scared of now is Grameme Souness and Richard Keys saying we are good.

I know what you mean FS.
Talking of Richard Keys. You have to take your hat off to his parents.
Not many people would resist the temptation  to cash in on giving birth to a talking monkey.

[ALPH1217]

First hit the Kop in '59 via the Boys pen. I was a skinny rat-faced 9 year old. It was early on in the season an we were playings Keegans team,Scunthorpe United. We beat them 2-0 , Roger got the second. I remember thinkin' at the time...where did all the piss come from,coz if yer got a speck at the front,yer were standin' in a puddle of piss. I could just about see over the wall but it was still magic. Looking at it a few years later I found out that the crowd was only 31 thousand odd. Didn't matter really,what mattered was that was me stuck with it,a lifelong Red. Smitten.Still shout at the wife, an kick the dog if we get beat. Best night was when we beat Inter 3-1 in the Semi-final of the European cup.Take that night with me to the grave.

Congratulations mate. You were at the match in which Roger Hunt scored the very first of his 286 goals for us! Likewise, I was in Anfield in August of 1971 for Keegan's first of his 100. Happy days.

[covi2k2]

First game was against Southampton the year we came up from Div. 2.

Does anyone else remember being able to change ends at half-time?

I may be losing it, but I'm sure there were some grounds where they'd let fans swap ends at half-time, so you were always in the end Liverpool were playing towards.

That still happen in some lower league games now

[shanklyboy]

Congratulations mate. You were at the match in which Roger Hunt scored the very first of his 286 goals for us! Likewise, I was in Anfield in August of 1971 for Keegan's first of his 100. Happy days.

I remember that game well.
It was the first time in 5 years I didn't go in The Kop (apart from my league debut in the boys pen) as it was a lockout.
I had to go in The Rd End.
I remember The Football League revue (ask your Da if you are under 35 ) had an Arsenal team picture in it.
Cue a fucking big bommy.

[Fat Scouser]

I know what you mean FS.
Talking of Richard Keys. You have to take your hat off to his parents.
Not many people would resist the temptation  to cash in on giving birth to a talking monkey.

That's hilarious that mate. But arsing about aside, I am honestly worried about the experts starting to big us up.... Then the end is nigh Defo.
And just when I'm really starting to believe this isn't the latest instalment of the new false dawn.

[shanklyboy]

That's hilarious that mate. But arsing about aside, I am honestly worried about the experts starting to big us up.... Then the end is nigh Defo.
And just when I'm really starting to believe this isn't the latest instalment of the new false dawn.

Take no notice of them FS.
Half of them change with the wind.
Mark Lawrenson for instance.

Mark Lawrenson: Dearth of match-winners is undermining title challenge
Sep 23 2008 Liverpool Daily Post

LIVERPOOL were well within their rights to go nuts about beating Manchester United last week.

But in the end it hasn’t really made any difference. Because, despite the way the league table looks at the moment, I know whose position I would rather be in.

Look at it this way. If Mr. Ferguson decides to play Rooney, Tevez and Ronaldo as his top three and they aren’t doing the business, what does he do? Probably bring on Berbatov and Nani. But whichever combination he chooses he is guaranteed one thing – match-winners.
You can bore yourself stupid talking about what Liverpool are missing to make them serious title challengers, but I still think that is the main thing.

They don’t have enough of them.
Championship-winning squads don’t just lift themselves for the games against bitter rivals, they do it every week to make sure inferior opposition is ruthlessly obliterated out of sight.

And even if you can’t do that, you’ve surely got to hope that one of those players can produce just that one moment – that’s all it would have taken against Stoke because they wouldn’t have scored at Anfield if they were still playing now.

So for me, once again, the main worry is that lack of match-winners.

And a lack of winning matches looks set to undermine Liverpool’s title challenge once again.

Then a week later.....
 
MARK LAWRENSON: Signs that this could be Benitez’s year
Sep 30 2008 By Mark Lawrenson


WHISPER it softly, but Liverpool are showing signs of putting together a genuine title challenge.
Steven Gerrard was disciplined against Everton and in Torres, Kuyt, Keane, Babel and Riera, Benitez has a many attacking options.
Results breed confidence, there is good competition for places at Anfield and Liverpool will be looking to keep the momentum going.

Benitez has had the chance over the past two seasons to bring in the kind of players he wants, get rid of those he doesn’t and has had enough money to build a team capable of challenging for the title.

For many people, this is his year.

Ignoring the fact that Darren Fletcher is their leading League goal scorer with 2 and that Berbatov hasn't scored in the league yet.....oh and Rooney, Tevez and Ronaldo have only scored 1 each.
As for Nani......don't be fucking stupid!

No doubt Berbatov is given special dispensation by the press, because compared to the constant whittering on about Robbie Keane not scoring prior to Wednesday, you'd think Bebatov had been fucking rampant, but not a mention of him not scoring, prior to Tuesday against the milkmen and sheepherders.

[Fat Scouser]

Yeah Shanks that's exactly what I mean. Once them c*nts start bigging us up - we are doomed. And Lawrenson is one of the better ones.

[Fat Scouser]

Shanks, I'm still half lego from last night. I've had a couple of curers. I'm listening to Seasick Steve's new LP (Not as good as the last one) So I'm a happy chubby chappy. I'm only arsing about, about the media. I couldn't give a fuck what they say. I learned that lesson back in 77. But I honestly do think we are getting there now. and I'm terrified to mention it in case I put the mockers on it, nevermind c*nts like Lawrenson.

[johnybarnes]

And Lawrenson is one of the better ones.

'Lawro' (dies of cringe) is a twat. Couldn't even muster up a few words during the truth day protest where as motson with all the flack he gets in his senile age, was giving it a fair bit of attention and explanation.

[Fat Scouser]

'Lawro' (dies of cringe) is a twat. Couldn't even muster up a few words during the truth day protest where as motson with all the flack he gets in his senile age, was giving it a fair bit of attention and explanation.

Yeah. Like I said, one of the better ones

[shanklyboy]

By the way........
What's all this....."Mind yer car mate.........£20"
Cheeky little gets!

[Fat Scouser]

By the way........
What's all this....."Mind yer car mate.........£20"
Cheeky little gets!

I love them kids. They'd have got the stadium built.

[shanklyboy]

I love them kids. They'd have got the stadium built.

My mate said he heard some kids asking some feller for £20 after the match. After arguing about it for a while, some little scal turns around and says "Fuck it.....it's just gone up to £30"

[That Kennedy moment]

Not such an old memory but gotta post this, it still tickles me. Anyone here go to the 1988 FA Cup final? Remember before the game they had a five-a-side celebrity kickaround, and they introduced each player as he ran onto the field. Nice sunny day, an FA Cup virtually in the bag, another double in sight - what, 2 hours away? Everyone happy, everyone in charitable mood. Good job really, as after Brian Regan (our Terry from Brookside) and a few other not so famous celebrities ran on, on comes that frizzy-haired plank who played Brian Tyldesley from Coronation St.

Being a sub-Thommo lookalike from a Manc outfit, he races onto the pitch to 85,000 reds booing his arse off (there were only 12-15,000 Wimbledon fans at Wembley that day) and sticks up two fingers by flipping about six double somersaults as he hits the hallowed turf. The fucking nuts on him…

Still the highlight of that day for me

[Robinred]

My mate said he heard some kids asking some feller for £20 after the match. After arguing about it for a while, some little scal turns around and says "Fuck it.....it's just gone up to £30"

I remember the story (probably apocryphal, but still...) about the guy in late '60s who parked opposite the Kop, in a big Merc.

"Mind yer car mister?"

"No need" says the driver, "There's a big alsation on the back seat"

"Can he put out fires?"

[Fat Scouser]

I remember the story (probably apocryphal, but still...) about the guy in late '60s who parked opposite the Kop, in a big Merc.

"Mind yer car mister?"

"No need" says the driver, "There's a big alsation on the back seat"

"Can he put out fires?"

Here's a cracker...
Barnsley, either FA or League cup game, wednesday night, fucking freezing. Me and the lads I used to go the match with came out the alehouse and ended up in the police escort to the ground. I was well choka getting escorted and then we ran into their lot. all standing across the road, kicking off, throwing things at us and all that malarkey.
As I said, I was already more than choka when some loon I know from Scotty Rd came up to me, pulled out a stanley knife and said... "Come'ead lad."
I can't fight sleep. Me arse was gone.
He pulled me with him up to some big daft Yorkshire shit kicker, dropped the stanley on the floor and started shouting Officer! Officer!
He then pulled a bizzie, pointed to the knife and the shit kicker and said, he went to slash me.
the bizzie grabbed the shit kicker and lashed him in a van. The Scotty Roader walked off laughing, saying that's him fixed for 6 months.

And our car took the knock on the way home, fuckin horrible night that.

[shanklyboy]

If you don't remember this feller you shouldn't be in this thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg7ZGkGh3lI&feature=related