Topic: Work mates that you can't stand

[Kerant]

A new guy has joined work recently, and he's a cocky little c*nt that thinks he's the the best in the business, but he does sod all work and gets away with it. The management love him because he's talkative, and worst of all, everyone else seems to like him - but I just cannot stand him.

Unfortunately I've had to jointly work with him on a recent project and it's been like trying to get blood out of a stone in terms of getting the work done.

Do you work with anyone you can't stand?

[Morientes-19]

Yeah. I know the type, definitely. Wouldn't want to say any more than that though.

[Brian Blessed]

Yeah. I know the type, definitely. Wouldn't want to say any more than that though.

Do they post on here? Is it Una Cerveza?

[Paul JH]

Worked with some c*nt who's the nosiest fucking twat I've ever met, for 8 years now. Had a lot of problems with him in the past, he's got OCD, you can't move without him watching what you're doing.

He sits one along to my right on the opposite side of my row of desks, and STARES out of the window where I sit ALL the fucking time, but he does this thing where out the corner of my eye I can see him start to stretch, scratch his neck and then sit and stare in my direction. At first, I thought it was him just looking out the window but tons of times I've deliberatly caught him staring at ME and he does the 'quick look away' thing you used to do when you fancied a fucking girl in school! 

He's such a freak. Most of us now know him as the meerkat. Any noise, sound, any movement and he's up looking around to see what it was. He watches you when you are having a private conversation, when you're not even talking to him. He listens in to things that are none of his business etc. It really gets on my tits because I come in and just stick my ipod on and get down to work, I hardly take notice of anyone else unless I'm chatting to them. And I'm not a nosy person at all, in fact, I'm the total opposite of this twat.

He's a lazy prick, just makes tea all day, is never under any pressure, and because he's got fuck all to do, he's always taking notice of anything that doesn't involve him.

Years ago, he stalked his ex-girlfriend, and at one point thought I was seeing her (purely because I said 'hello' to her in the morning). He then started watching me MORE because he thought something was going on. Me and her had a right laugh about it, it was hilarious (although the stalking of her then me got that bad we almost put a complaint in to the bosses about him).

I'm convinced he's going to stab me or something one day (well, that's a joke, but I tell you what, he's such a fucking nutcase, who knows?!) 

So yeah, I work with someone I can't STAND.

[Effes]

Worked with some c*nt who's the nosiest fucking twat I've ever met, for 8 years now. Had a lot of problems with him in the past, he's got OCD, you can't move without him watching what you're doing.

He sits one along to my right on the opposite side of my row of desks, and STARES out of the window where I sit ALL the fucking time, but he does this thing where out the corner of my eye I can see him start to stretch, scratch his neck and then sit and stare in my direction. At first, I thought it was him just looking out the window but tons of times I've deliberatly caught him staring at ME and he does the 'quick look away' thing you used to do when you fancied a fucking girl in school! 

He's such a freak. Most of us now know him as the meerkat. Any noise, sound, any movement and he's up looking around to see what it was. He watches you when you are having a private conversation, when you're not even talking to him. He listens in to things that are none of his business etc. It really gets on my tits because I come in and just stick my ipod on and get down to work, I hardly take notice of anyone else unless I'm chatting to them. And I'm not a nosy person at all, in fact, I'm the total opposite of this twat.

He's a lazy prick, just makes tea all day, is never under any pressure, and because he's got fuck all to do, he's always taking notice of anything that doesn't involve him.

Years ago, he stalked his ex-girlfriend, and at one point thought I was seeing her (purely because I said 'hello' to her in the morning). He then started watching me MORE because he thought something was going on. Me and her had a right laugh about it, it was hilarious (although the stalking of her then me got that bad we almost put a complaint in to the bosses about him).

I'm convinced he's going to stab me or something one day (well, that's a joke, but I tell you what, he's such a fucking nutcase, who knows?!) 

So yeah, I work with someone I can't STAND.

I would have a fuckin boss laugh if he worked in our place. Defo a meerkat.
Send him over.

BTW - I think there is an existing thread on this subject.

[Mouth]

So yeah, I work with someone I can't STAND.

I wondered why you were watched, makes sense now.

[Paul JH]

I wondered why you were watched, makes sense now.

I would have a fuckin boss laugh if he worked in our place. Defo a meerkat.
Send him over.

BTW - I think there is an existing thread on this subject.

You can have him! He's a borderline psycho.

This is a cracker this one. As an example, years ago when he was suspicious of his ex, he would get up, walk around to where her desk was while she was on the phone, and pretend he was getting stationary, and as she was chatting he would be clocking the number on the phone display!! Serious. About 5 of us saw him doing it.

Anyway, one day, when he was watching me thinking I was seeing his ex, she wasn't in (she used to sit next to me), and I was on the phone chatting away. Anyway, he gets up, walks past my desk and muttered the name of the company I was on the phone to under his breath as he walked past!! So he'd clocked the number, because I hadn't mentioned them in my conversation!!!

So fucking fuming, I said to some other workmates 'I'm going to put a post-it note over the phone display' and then call someone and see what he does. So I did it, called a mate, and started a conversation. He gets up, comes OVER to me, while I'm on the phone, and whispered 'can I have this post it note' and took it off the display (so he could see if the number was her number)!!! Seriously.

After that, more things happened, until I finally snapped and took him outside and nearly fucking chinned him, and told him to pack it in or a complaint is going in.
He stopped there and then. He shat himself. So since then, he's shit scared of me, but he's been stalking plenty of other women in the office since.

Like I say, fucking NUTTER. I still work with him, and he's still as bad in a way, but he's terrified of me after what happened with his ex. And there was more than just that, I mean, really weird stuff. Doesn't stop the staring though.

I avoid the lad like the plague now.

[.adam]

I swear to God I've read that story about the post-it note before. Unless someone else knows a similar weirdo!

[Rococo]

Yeah, this fella at my work. Sits opposite me to the left. I call him ipod twat.

I swear he's getting into my ex.  Sits there all day on the phone to her and even sticks-post it notes over the phone display thinking I won't clock what he's up to.

Every time I go to get some new stationary (I like pencils) he starts acting all paranoid and pretends he's chatting to his mates. If I even scratch my neck, he's there with his shifty witch like eyes, checking I'm not looking at him.

Anyway, this one time he'd obviously been knocked back by her and he just went mental.  Took me outside and threatened to chin me. He's a fucking NUTTER.

Me, I don't take any interest in anything that doesn't involve me.  Just make a cup of tea and get on with me work.

Anyway, we'll see who's the clever one when the knives come out.

[Paul JH]

Yeah, this fella at my work. Sits opposite me to the left. I call him ipod twat.

I swear he's getting into my ex.  Sits there all day on the phone to her and even sticks-post it notes over the phone display thinking I won't clock what he's up to.

Every time I go to get some new stationary (I like pencils) he starts acting all paranoid and pretends he's chatting to his mates. If I even scratch my neck, he's there with his shifty witch like eyes, checking I'm not looking at him.

Anyway, this one time he'd obviously been knocked back by her and he just went mental.  Took me outside and threatened to chin me. He's a fucking NUTTER.

Me, I don't take any interest in anything that doesn't involve me.  Just make a cup of tea and get on with me work.

Anyway, we'll see who's the clever one when the knives come out.

*slow hand clap*
 

[Popcorn]

 

He's such a freak. Most of us now know him as the meerkat. Any noise, sound, any movement and he's up looking around to see what it was.

I'd defo have a laugh with that. Be getting the lads to make weird noises and sounds all over the place to have him running round the office.

My Boss is a complete twat. Nothing he does in particular, just basically a clueless prick who doesn't know what's going on and just pisses me right off with ridiculous vocabulary he uses to sound intelligent when in fact he sounds like a gimp.

[Mouth]

You can have him! He's a borderline psycho.

Rob his stapler....

[smig]

There's this lad where I work who's a fucking tard, and I mean it. Proper arrogant twat (despite being a big lummocks) who now reckons he's all important because he's landed himself a job on the security desk. This after he's also held a part time job as one of the Specials in the Police for over a year now, undertaking voluntary work for no pay at all. Unfortunately he is now under the impression that he's Mr Big Bollocks, despite the fact that he's got fuck all chance of getting in there. He's a bluenose of course which makes things even worse as far as I'm concerned, and a bitter one at that. Was givin it loads the other week after we lost to City which I laughed off at first (banter n'all that) but then he didn't know when to keep his gob shut and I started to get slightly fucked off about it if I'm honest. I just held five fingers on one hand and made a "zero" with my thumb and index finger on me other hand to the moron who eventually clocked onto what I was referring to. He then proceeded to come over from the desk to go "All I'm sayin' is.... 39 Italians".

Needless to say I went fuckin' bananas. He'd walked back to his desk and after about two minutes of seething to meself I came straight over and told him he knew fuck all abar his own club's history and football in general and to start supporting his own side. Something comepletely snapped when he said that. I couldn't stand him beforehand, he's laughably unpopular in work amongst virtually everyone, but I really do detest the bloke now.

[kesey]

Fuckin ell isn't this a bit like bullying.

Sort it out people.

[Mouth]

Fuckin ell isn't this a bit like bullying.

Sort it out people.

What, get together and beat them up?

[El Denzel Pepito]

Yeah, this fella at my work. Sits opposite me to the left. I call him ipod twat.

I swear he's getting into my ex.  Sits there all day on the phone to her and even sticks-post it notes over the phone display thinking I won't clock what he's up to.

Every time I go to get some new stationary (I like pencils) he starts acting all paranoid and pretends he's chatting to his mates. If I even scratch my neck, he's there with his shifty witch like eyes, checking I'm not looking at him.

Anyway, this one time he'd obviously been knocked back by her and he just went mental.  Took me outside and threatened to chin me. He's a fucking NUTTER.

Me, I don't take any interest in anything that doesn't involve me.  Just make a cup of tea and get on with me work.

Anyway, we'll see who's the clever one when the knives come out.

Brilliant.

[John C]

Yeah, this fella at my work. Sits opposite me to the left. I call him ipod twat.

I swear he's getting into my ex.  Sits there all day on the phone to her and even sticks-post it notes over the phone display thinking I won't clock what he's up to.

Every time I go to get some new stationary (I like pencils) he starts acting all paranoid and pretends he's chatting to his mates. If I even scratch my neck, he's there with his shifty witch like eyes, checking I'm not looking at him.


Anyway, this one time he'd obviously been knocked back by her and he just went mental.  Took me outside and threatened to chin me. He's a fucking NUTTER.

Me, I don't take any interest in anything that doesn't involve me.  Just make a cup of tea and get on with me work.

Anyway, we'll see who's the clever one when the knives come out.

[Robert_B]

One woman who's the most idiotic, incompetent witch ever. makes complaints about people for no reason, stares at people for no reason with that sour fucking face of hers. COMPLETELY useless. Her 10 year old son would do a better job than her. Her voice just goes right through me, too. I can't stand it.

Another woman who's a fucking pisstake. Just does fuck all. Sits on her phone sorting out her tennants etc rather than doing her fucking job (which she can barely do anyway). Ditsy idiot.

One or two other complete jobsworths.

[The Kopster]

Someone i couldnt stand in my old job,i reported them to crimestoppers for something that they had done a few weeks earlier.......they got arrested a few days later........Result!!

[BRdispatch05]

Worked with some c*nt who's the nosiest fucking twat I've ever met, for 8 years now. Had a lot of problems with him in the past, he's got OCD, you can't move without him watching what you're doing.

He sits one along to my right on the opposite side of my row of desks, and STARES out of the window where I sit ALL the fucking time, but he does this thing where out the corner of my eye I can see him start to stretch, scratch his neck and then sit and stare in my direction. At first, I thought it was him just looking out the window but tons of times I've deliberatly caught him staring at ME and he does the 'quick look away' thing you used to do when you fancied a fucking girl in school! 

He's such a freak. Most of us now know him as the meerkat. Any noise, sound, any movement and he's up looking around to see what it was. He watches you when you are having a private conversation, when you're not even talking to him. He listens in to things that are none of his business etc. It really gets on my tits because I come in and just stick my ipod on and get down to work, I hardly take notice of anyone else unless I'm chatting to them. And I'm not a nosy person at all, in fact, I'm the total opposite of this twat.

He's a lazy prick, just makes tea all day, is never under any pressure, and because he's got fuck all to do, he's always taking notice of anything that doesn't involve him.

Years ago, he stalked his ex-girlfriend, and at one point thought I was seeing her (purely because I said 'hello' to her in the morning). He then started watching me MORE because he thought something was going on. Me and her had a right laugh about it, it was hilarious (although the stalking of her then me got that bad we almost put a complaint in to the bosses about him).

I'm convinced he's going to stab me or something one day (well, that's a joke, but I tell you what, he's such a fucking nutcase, who knows?!) 

So yeah, I work with someone I can't STAND.

 

I was about to post mine but you wrote half of it for me! But it's not just looking, he cannot stop talking. I know I've complained about this before in another similar thread before, but I think it's good for my health to vent so I'm taking advantage of this.

   I'm not a mean guy, but I HAVE to be rude to him for it to stop. If I show any sign of interest it could go on for days. I start the morning off nice, every day, greet him and have a glimmer of hope that this might be the day I can get all of my work done without having to hear about him and his boyfriends (yes he's gay) argument about not letting the Chihuahua outside. I am very tolerant of everyone, so it wasn't a big deal when I found out my only other co-worker that I sit next to 6 hours a day was flamboyantly gay when he was hired a 1 1/2 years ago, it's the baggage that came with him. Sometimes his stories COULD be interesting, but he and I both lose interest halfway through, but, he forgets to stop talking. If he trails off in a story, he does one of these "So I decided to just take the cookie.......mumble................mumble mumble........................mumble" in about a three minute interval. So Once I realize the story is over the first time, I get back on track, and as I concentrate on what I was doing one of the mumbles throws me completely off.

Too much more to write, but that's the jist of it

[Ginamos]

Yeah, this fella at my work. Sits opposite me to the left. I call him ipod twat......

A classic post, if ever there was one 

[Pheeny]

I think all my work mates on RAWK are excellent but the ones in real life are another story.

[Ferg]

ipod twat.

Begging for a new custom title......

[Paul JH]

Begging for a new custom title......

Fuck you

[Mouth]

Someone i couldnt stand in my old job,i reported them to crimestoppers for something that they had done a few weeks earlier.......they got arrested a few days later........Result!!

So what you are saying is that you are a grass.

[Ferg]

Fuck you

[The Kopster]

So what you are saying is that you are a grass.

Err.....Yes.!

[Brian Blessed]

Err.....Yes.!

The avatar gave it away for me.

[The Kopster]

If more people had the same attitude,maybe our country wouldnt be in the state its in

[Mirra]

Some right dickheads at work, cant stand some of them. One bloke in paticular, id love to chin him but hes so pathetic if I did id probally break his neck. The fat nosey c*nt what he is! Hes a bit like the fella Paul described earlier, always beingn osey, listening in to conversations that dont involve him and just irritating the life out of everyone. The Prick!

[RigBon1892]

Loads. Probably less that I can stand than those I can't

[Effes]

I had this page open when this whopper came up to me to "chat" - I'm sure he read it.
He didnt hang round.

[jaffod]

Wouldn't say I hated any of my workmates, just tend to buzz off some of them. Working in Whiston there is a fair percentage of local weirdo's and cranks drawn from the surrounding area. Prescot sounds pretty fucked up if most of the stuff I hear about it is true.
 Our workforce has it's fair share of compulsive liars, wannabe gangsters, plassy hardmen, psychotic women, boring c*nts, jobsworth's and idiots. The trick is is to see them for what they are and take entertainment from them.
 The wannabe gangsters are my favourite. There are several of them who appear normal enough when you get them on their own. Put 2 of them together though and it's not long before they are banging on about doing someone in, having people off, biting someone's fucking nose off etc. They all imply they have some sort of sideline going on and are brewstered, in reality they are lying bellends on 200 quid a week.
 

[cissepower]

On my floor there are a couple of people who are so loud it is unbelievable, one guy in particular is so loud that I'm aware of the things that are going on with him OUTSIDE of work! His kids dental appointments, his next holiday destination etc

I guess another thing I cant stand is that he makes so many personal phone calls from his work phone!

[RigBon1892]

On my floor there are a couple of people who are so loud it is unbelievable, one guy in particular is so loud that I'm aware of the things that are going on with him OUTSIDE of work! His kids dental appointments, his next holiday destination etc

I guess another thing I cant stand is that he makes so many personal phone calls from his work phone!

I suppose thats better than having to listen to your workmate go on 100 times about the cat he found in his wheelie bin.

[rednich85]

There was a crazy lad who used to work in our place.

Cumpulsive liar.

He's a one of his gems

His brother works in Rome and knows the Pope. He is trying to pull a few strings so the Pope will marry him and his missus.

If he wasnt so unstable I would probably detest him but the lad is fucking BANANAS

[Rob K]

There's a lad on my course at the moment who seem's to find the most inane things to talk about.  Starting to drive me nuts.

[liversaint]

Around 80% of the whining Gary Nevile voiced Mancs I have the misfortune to spend 8 or 9 hours per day with

[Rafette]

The jobsworth, busybody, anally retentive, by-the-book shrew who I am unfortunate enough to have as my immediate superior. No scratch that, I can't bear to call her "superior." Or "boss" or "manager". She's just a grade above. Knows nothing but thinks she already knows everything, talks over us all and is generally a bloody nuisance who won't pay any creedence to anyone's experience in our workplace. I just want a quiet life, not someone who wants to reorganise our whole workplace. If it ain't broke, and all that....

[The 5th Benitle]

Unfortunately one works for me. I only started at the company in January and inherited him. I would get rid but he is a close friend of our CEO who is my direct boss. Weird situation that does my head in. Boss assures me that the friendship won't get in the way but will excuse every single error and inefficiency from his mate when I talk through how my team are getting on, almost taking it personally. Horrible situation.