Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[jason42]

Cheers people. Sober as a judge tonight.

Well done fella. Try and keep it going.

[And Could He Play]

Sober again, even with the footy on, although when torres cracked one in I HAD A SLIGHT moment wanting a beer ha ha.

[spen71]

Well I have finally admitted that I have a serious problem with the drink.  I have not had a drink since the morning Dec 21st.  My first sober Christmas without being mullered in 23 years.

I will never be able to drink again.  If I have one drink I end up going on a 2 week bender drinking all day and night.  Nearly lost everything, so I will be spending New Years Eve in an AA meeting.

[AndyInVA]

Well I have finally admitted that I have a serious problem with the drink.  I have not had a drink since the morning Dec 21st.  My first sober Christmas without being mullered in 23 years.

I will never be able to drink again.  If I have one drink I end up going on a 2 week bender drinking all day and night.  Nearly lost everything, so I will be spending New Years Eve in an AA meeting.

A lot of supportive people in this thread.

Its a hard task to give up totally.

I think AA depends on the group. Could be a be a group of total losers or some decent people.

Good luck. Its a hard road.

[spen71]

A lot of supportive people in this thread.

Its a hard task to give up totally.

I think AA depends on the group. Could be a be a group of total losers or some decent people.

Good luck. Its a hard road.

I have tried it once before when I went 2 months in the summer.  Did not get on with it but I need to try another before I lose my missus, kids, business and house.

[Welshred]

I have tried it once before when I went 2 months in the summer.  Did not get on with it but I need to try another before I lose my missus, kids, business and house.

Use that as a focus mate. Put a post it note on the fridge or something saying "Do Not Drink" on top of a picture of your family to keep reminding you when your at a weak point.

It's good that you know there's a problem, and the 2 months off the drink in the summer proves you CAN do it. There's a lot of support in this thread so try and keep updating it. Use it as an online diary as such.

[Maggie May]

Good luck Spen.  As Andy says, AA groups do vary considerably, so check a few out.  I think they have a "minder" or buddy scheme which you might want to look into for some extra support and perhaps to brief you on the usual makeup of the various groups.

Delighted with you ACHP. 

But I'm worried about my lovely Harvest.  I hope he was all right over Christmas. 

[Johnnyboy1973]

Yeah baby, sober since Feb 

[jason42]

I have tried it once before when I went 2 months in the summer.  Did not get on with it but I need to try another before I lose my missus, kids, business and house.

Like Maggie May & Welshred have already said - best of luck in your battle and we all hope you succeed.

[And Could He Play]

Another night, not a drop, wont be saying this tommorow though.

[jason42]

Another night, not a drop, wont be saying this tommorow though.

Stick with it mate, stick with it...

[And Could He Play]

Stick with it mate, stick with it...

trying mate, worst thing is i'm going to spain in 6 weeks for two months what a test that will be.

[jason42]

trying mate, worst thing is i'm going to spain in 6 weeks for two months what a test that will be.

You'll meet a fine senorita and you will never need to drink again...best of luck mate.

[Brentieke]

Another night, not a drop, wont be saying this tommorow though.

Have an early one tonight mate. Dont drink. Imagine what a boost this will be for you if you manage to get through new year's without a drink.

It's jut another night mate, no need to get mullered just because a couple of digits change in the calendar tonight.

[classycarra]

Have an early one tonight mate. Dont drink. Imagine what a boost this will be for you if you manage to get through new year's without a drink.

It's jut another night mate, no need to get mullered just because a couple of digits change in the calendar tonight.

Great advice. In all honesty, New Years is just another night. Treat it like you have the lqast few nights and then be proud of your progress tomorrow

[kesey]

, am a big drinker

I'd never of thought that.

No seriously lads.  Most of us here have fucked up with the drink. I've lost count of the times that I've fucked up. Had a great blast recently though as I went on a 8 day bender and spent all me chrimbo dough in the process. I actually was slighty depressed and lonley a few days ago and thats the effect it has on me. Iam at my most happiest and more myself when I abstain from the poison. Sometimes I go months without a drop and all aspects of my life will improve. This includes meeting new people, enjyoing old freinds, eating proper and doing my spiritual practices everyday. Then for some reason the little devil appears and Il lgo on a bender, sometimes for days , sometimes for weeks. Thats when I balls everything.

Like Chopper said. Control the drink and don't let it control you.

If you fancy a natter ACHP PM us.

Always remember that what you are doing now is GOOD.

[spen71]

Agreed, looking at it from the psychological aspect wouldn't it be an amazing thing to start the decade feeling fresh and without a hangover?

It's almost like you saying this is the precedent I want to set for the coming months and years. That you are making the decisions about when you want to get smashed, rather than the booze ruling your mindset.

Wipe the slate clean, forget this closing decade and move forward into this new one.

Don't forget, we're all here looking out for you mate. Use this as your own little support group. We're pretty cheap too.

@Spen, good luck with what you're trying to achieve too mate. 2 months has proved you can do it if you want, but it's vital that if you say 'I'm not drinking' that you have the committment and belief in what you're doing that you know that, if needs be, you can never have another wine, beer or vodka ever. IF you can't do that, then there's not much point in stopping.

It seems to me like you're dying to stop, so for the sake of everything you've worked so hard for, give it a bloody good mate. We all believe in your ability to do it, I hope you do too.

All the best to everyone in here.

Thanks all for the kind words.

I seem  to be able to go a coupe of weeks on a regular basis then bam something hits me.  After doing some reading on relapsing it seems it is quite common and is called Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS).  I seem to not be able to handle simple situations and go off on a bender.  Need to see a doctor for some treatment for the Anxiety I get when coming off the booze.  Either that or going on an exercise bender.

[kesey]

I seem  to be able to go a coupe of weeks on a regular basis then bam something hits me. 

I sometimes have similar pattern Spen so you aint alone. Sometimes though nothing happens I just do it through boredom. It's hard to break patterns mate. I don't call it an addiction cos it aint.

Take this how you will mate. I know at lot of lads that haven't given up the booze and things much worse by joining the Hare Krsnas. I jest. Nah seriously. Meditation or Yoga can help change psychological patterns that have built up over the years. They also can reduce stress , reduce anxiety ( which leads to drinking ) etc.. You may also fluke it and become enlightened on the way.

Have you ever heard of the twelve steps programme?

I've met fellas at festivals who have overcome a lot of addictions and swear by it. 

[Johnnyboy1973]

I sometimes have similar pattern Spen so you aint alone. Sometimes though nothing happens I just do it through boredom. It's hard to break patterns mate. I don't call it an addiction cos it aint.

As a matter of interest, why don't you think it's an addiction?

I cut down on the booze over the years from a daily drinker to getting blitzed once every six to eight weeks before I eventually broke the dependence and I viewed it as an addiction?

[kesey]

As a matter of interest, why don't you think it's an addiction?

I cut down on the booze over the years from a daily drinker to getting blitzed once every six to eight weeks before I eventually broke the dependence and I viewed it as an addiction?

It's just how I see it JB. I know what your saying I think. An addiction doesn't have to be a daily habit and all that. It's like when people say your just going round in circles. I tend to see it as spirals as a circle lways leads to the same point where as a spiral will always lead you somewhere else.

[Johnnyboy1973]

An addiction doesn't have to be a daily habit and all that.

Yeah, that's what I'm driving at. Many peoples' belief seems to be when talking about alcoholism is, "so when you wake up you want a drink?" which is such a cop out which many then use as an excuse. Myself included.

[Welshred]

Thanks all for the kind words.

I seem  to be able to go a coupe of weeks on a regular basis then bam something hits me.  After doing some reading on relapsing it seems it is quite common and is called Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS).  I seem to not be able to handle simple situations and go off on a bender.  Need to see a doctor for some treatment for the Anxiety I get when coming off the booze.  Either that or going on an exercise bender.

Exercise bender is a great idea Spen. Whenever you feel like a drink just go for a run/jog. Not only will you feel the benefits but you're wife will love your new found fitness and you'll have more energy for your children as well. Plus all the feel good hormones you get from exercise will replace the ones you get from booze, without the hangover the next day, only the achey legs instead

[kesey]

Yeah, that's what I'm driving at. Many peoples' belief seems to be when talking about alcoholism is, "so when you wake up you want a drink?" which is such a cop out which many then use as an excuse. Myself included.

Is right.

People tend to see it that way. I think a serious addiction is when you have to have something before you do something. LIke me with rollies. I want a cuppa and a rollie so I have a rollie before I put the kettle on. AHHHHHHHHH!!!! No that's fuckin serious. My thing about having a bevvie is if it turns you into a twat and you hurt others. Whether it be physically or emotionally then it's time to get help. I usually just turn into a smug  cryptic bastard most of the time and that can get me into trouble.

" Where's that lovely lad gone that we know "

" Ya' wanna go exploree yer own soul before you explore mine ya crank "

Stuff like that!

Youse have been warned.   

[Johnnyboy1973]

.

Out of interest, do you find you can go to a pub, have a couple of pints and then go home?

[kesey]

Out of interest, do you find you can go to a pub, have a couple of pints and then go home?

Mmmmmmmmmm. Lst week I had two in the Belvidere and went home. Me mate was shouting it though so that may hvae had something to do with it. I'd say 9 time out of 10 I can't mate. Then I usually end up going the offie for some red wine. I  know, I know. But I can sit in the boozer with me mates and watch the footie and drink a juice or something. Thats when Iam getting into me daily spiritual practice though and if I have a pint I wont do me practice as there's no point. To be honest thogh. I have been skint some sometimes and me mates have offered to buy me a pint or two and Ive declined. The reason?? C'os most times I'd want to stay out and get leathered and take some wine home. Even sometimes when they've offered I've even said just lends us a score then.

I know.. I know..

[Dr Cornwallis]

When i drink, i drink to get blotto'd.
I dont see it as a problem.

[Rusty]

Well I have finally admitted that I have a serious problem with the drink. 

The sentence you've written there is one of the hardest things that you'll ever have to do in your life.

Now that you have done it, you have started to put control of where your life goes back into your own hands and not the hands of the grog.

If you're after advice on how to go about quitting, have a read of the thread - pretty much most of the issues have been discussed on here over the last 11 pages.

If you need support then there are plenty of us on here - and far more anonymous than an AA meeting - who will be looking out for you if/when you need to talk/rant/complain/whatever.

Best of luck with it mate and just remember, take it one step at a time, and if you truly want to get yourself off the booze then you will find a way to do so.

[spen71]

The sentence you've written there is one of the hardest things that you'll ever have to do in your life.

Now that you have done it, you have started to put control of where your life goes back into your own hands and not the hands of the grog.

If you're after advice on how to go about quitting, have a read of the thread - pretty much most of the issues have been discussed on here over the last 11 pages.

If you need support then there are plenty of us on here - and far more anonymous than an AA meeting - who will be looking out for you if/when you need to talk/rant/complain/whatever.

Best of luck with it mate and just remember, take it one step at a time, and if you truly want to get yourself off the booze then you will find a way to do so.

Cheers, I have tried a number of times this year and think that I have beaten it then it sneaks back on me (if that makes sense).  I know we all get bored but for some reason I have never been to handle it, that is the main cause with me.  I have done a lot of thinking recently about what to do.

If anyone else is interested, google sober recovery which is a forum dedicated to people with drink/drug problems.

[Johnnyboy1973]

Cheers, I have tried a number of times this year and think that I have beaten it then it sneaks back on me (if that makes sense).  I know we all get bored but for some reason I have never been to handle it, that is the main cause with me.  I have done a lot of thinking recently about what to do.

Think of all the times you have fucked up on the booze.

Remind yourself every morning that you are an alcoholic who should never drink again.

Avoid all enablers.

[Brentieke]

Avoid all enablers.

That's a huge one that.

When I went down from rehab, I turned my back on so many people from my past. Mates that I did drugs with, ex girlfirends who I loved but who also did drugs, everyone... Even the mates that I just smoked with once or twice, and who then never smoked again, I didnt see for a couple of years.

I just surrounded myself with clean people, completely avoiding anyone who did drugs or smoked pot. Even if I just met a bird I fancied, if I found out she did anything I'd just stop seeing her.I didnt go to pubs, bars, parties or nightclubs, and just basically lived a 100% pure life if you like.

It helped me adjust to being clean outside of rehab centre which meant that, after a couple of years, I could see a bunch of people and go out partying without drinking or feeling bad, because I developped a habit of just staying clean and living clean. If anyone is going to bring you down at that stage, it's gonna be yourself., not enablers. Unless you feel vulnerbale and in that case, you just surround yourself by the right people again.

Like now, I'm about to go out at a house party for new years where everyone's gonna be drinking and getting drunk and I know there's not a chance I'll have a drink myself. I've built 7 years momentum and trust myself. But in the begining, you need to be surrounded by people who know you're problem and will not let you fuck up. Anyobdy who's gonna remind you of your days as a junkie/alkie, you need to let go.

All easy to say I know, but I've been there. It's a huge sacrifice, one of the hardest, but it's essential.

[spen71]

Well it is New Years Dat morning and I do not have a hangover.  Feels fantastcic.

[jason42]

Well it is New Years Dat morning and I do not have a hangover.  Feels fantastcic.

Well done. Keep it going....

[Oscarmac]

is it wrong to tell someone close that you will have nothing to do with them until they decide to do something about their problems? years of "chances" come to nothing.

[capt k]

is it wrong to tell someone close that you will have nothing to do with them until they decide to do something about their problems? years of "chances" come to nothing.

depends on the person... Some will respond by taking your ultimatum on board and acting accordlingy..like giving it up..others who refuse to acknowlege they have a problem will tell ya to fuck off.. so horses for courses.

[And Could He Play]

Twat of a night, was in a party, ex bird rings me to go to hers, sound ends up drinking too much, arguing, she phones the police, i get nicked. Boss this ale isn't it,

[Johnnyboy1973]

Twat of a night, was in a party, ex bird rings me to go to hers, sound ends up drinking too much, arguing, she phones the police, i get nicked. Boss this ale isn't it,

It aint the best mate but an observation would be that your ale fuck ups and this bird seem to go hand in hand?

[C]

you seem more interested in updating us with your drama than actually sorting yourself out.

why would you meet a troublesome ex and then drink?

[And Could He Play]

It aint the best mate but an observation would be that your ale fuck ups and this bird seem to go hand in hand?

too true mate. Finally got a chance to get back in there and just couldn't control the ale.

[Johnnyboy1973]

too true mate. Finally got a chance to get back in there and just couldn't control the ale.

Do you think this relationship/possibility of a relationship AND controlling your alcohol problem/addiction can work?

[Effes]

too true mate. Finally got a chance to get back in there and just couldn't control the ale.

Iam gonna say this to hopefully help you.

But you seem to be seeking approval/sympathy - buck your ideas up lad!
No one is gonna help you but yourself!