Alan:
Please! Oi! Hey! Stop, everyone! Are you staring at me?
Phil:
No...
Alan:
Err... the thing is... I want to point out that Hope was crushed but it was Hope the cockroach, not hope the, the ideal. Hope, ho... ho... hope the... the... the... what are they laughing at? No...
Phil:
Alan, are you alright?
Alan:
Yeah, I'm fine! Erm, you didn't crush a beetle? You didn't crush John Lennon -- he's a beetle, didn't crush him. He's... that would have been bad he's already... dead. Paul McCartney's still alive he's doing... with Linda...
Phil:
Are you sure you're alright?
Alan:
...McCartney, she's doing the vegetarian dishes... microwave dishes, erm, vitamin deficiency, erm, and I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm really hungry, actually! I'm really hungry! Have you got any corn flakes? No? With sugar...
Phil:
No...
Alan:
I'm just... I just like frozen food. I like going home, and get the frozen food and cook it... and it's really nice... put it in a bowl and eat it, right and I put the video on and I've got... err... TV! And err it's the biggest TV you can get...
Phil:
Alan, have you taken something?
Alan:
Six feet across! TV... and it's like a big eye, in the room and it sort of stares at me! It scares me! I don't like it!
Phil:
Alan!
Alan:
I don't like it! I'm not going home tonight!
Phil:
Alan!
Alan:
What? What?
Phil:
I think you've taken some drugs.
Alan:
I've taken drugs!
Phil:
Yes.
Alan:
I, I, I have taken... on that bombshell! I, Alan Partridge have taken drugs..