Author Topic: The Marital Sex thread... (Read 175236 times)

rusty-la · « **on:** September 16, 2011, 10:22:12 pm »

......I just don't get it.

Marriage to the lady of your life brings it's own unique challenges. But Sex...

I receive sex in the way the Red Cross deliver it, only in an Emergency.

I'm allowed Sex when she's not 'fat'

I'm allowed sex when her arse isn't 'too big'.

Finally I'm allowed sex when she feels 'in the mood'

God bless her and I do love her.

Is it just me or are all the married RAWKites getting loads..at home

Johnny Foreigner · « **Reply #1 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:25:41 pm »

Need a bigger bait, mate..

Les Willis · « **Reply #2 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:28:14 pm »

I work loads of night shifts so me and the OH don't get to sleep at the same time that often and the old love life's been quite sparse for quite a few years. She did get a bit frisky yesterday, so me luck might be changing..

jason42 · « **Reply #3 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:41:22 pm »

I don't think there is a right amount of sex that married couples should be having. The pressure of modern life, work, kids, looking after the house, illness and many other things often get in the way of a loving relationship. Just treasure the moments you do get to spend time together without any outside interference and make the most of them - that's what we do and 23 years later, things are still great.

rusty-la · « **Reply #4 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:43:58 pm »

Quote from: Les Willis on September 16, 2011, 10:28:14 pm

I work loads of night shifts so me and the OH don't get to sleep at the same time that often and the old love life's been quite sparse for quite a few years. She did get a bit frisky yesterday, so me luck might be changing..

You're misses stays at home while you work night shifts?

Where do you live fella?

Les Willis · « **Reply #5 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:45:21 pm »

Quote from: rusty-la on September 16, 2011, 10:43:58 pm

You're misses stays at home while you work night shifts?

Where do you live fella?

Luckily we've also got a 9 year old son, who would blab...

Ferg · « **Reply #6 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:45:32 pm »

It's a myth. Everyone knows that your sex life ends when you get married.

rusty-la · « **Reply #7 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:48:53 pm »

Quote from: Ferg on September 16, 2011, 10:45:32 pm

It's a myth. Everyone knows that your sex life ends when you get married.

...the dawn of the 'Mistress'

jason42 · « **Reply #8 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:55:01 pm »

Quote from: rusty-la on September 16, 2011, 10:43:58 pm

You're misses stays at home while you work night shifts?

Where do you live fella?

I will PM you his address. As long as you're out of the house by 6am he will never know and neither will his kid

Les Willis · « **Reply #9 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:58:54 pm »

Why I oughtta...

jason42 · « **Reply #10 on:** September 16, 2011, 10:59:46 pm »

Quote from: Les Willis on September 16, 2011, 10:58:54 pm

Why I oughtta...

That's the same face your missus makes

bleedsred1978 · « **Reply #11 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:00:49 pm »

The fucking creaky bed excuse is the worst.

Les Willis · « **Reply #12 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:00:50 pm »

Quote from: jason23 on September 16, 2011, 10:59:46 pm

That's the same face your missus makes

She looks a bit like him too...

Enemy · « **Reply #13 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:00:54 pm »

While we're on the subject who wants to talk about unicorns and crackens?

rusty-la · « **Reply #14 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:05:00 pm »

I should say, in her defence, and in case she ever reads this thread, she looks a little like Nicole Kidman....

Just.in.case.

NOTBORNIN1982 · « **Reply #15 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:10:22 pm »

It used to bother me and we would have the odd argument about it but now I just except it will happen on her terms... the bitch!

rusty-la · « **Reply #16 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:13:53 pm »

Quote from: EST1982 on September 16, 2011, 11:10:22 pm

It used to bother me and we would have the odd argument about it but now I just except it will happen on her terms... the bitch!

This is known

Ziltoid · « **Reply #17 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:15:09 pm »

This is the 3rd time i've tried to post a reply. It's difficult balancing the laptop on her back whilst i'm banging her.

redbyrdz · « **Reply #18 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:17:26 pm »

Think I should refer the OP to this thread: http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=280676.0

rusty-la · « **Reply #19 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:17:38 pm »

Quote from: Ziltoid on September 16, 2011, 11:15:09 pm

This is the 3rd time i've tried to post a reply. It's difficult balancing the laptop on her back whilst i'm banging her.

Piccies pls

Or your really a virgin outside of your palm.

Ziltoid · « **Reply #20 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:19:49 pm »

Sorry just can't do that multitasking malarkey

rusty-la · « **Reply #21 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:22:12 pm »

Quote from: redbyrdz on September 16, 2011, 11:17:26 pm

Think I should refer the OP to this thread: http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=280676.0

Tres Bien Mon Ami.

jaffod · « **Reply #22 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:23:44 pm »

Quote from: bleedsred1978 on September 16, 2011, 11:00:49 pm

The fucking creaky bed excuse is the worst.

Almost as bad as the old 'We'll definitely do it tomorrow' routine.

rusty-la · « **Reply #23 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:32:38 pm »

Quote from: jaffod on September 16, 2011, 11:23:44 pm

Almost as bad as the old 'We'll definitely do it tomorrow' routine.

That.

The 'creaky bed'

And my favourite 'we'll wake the Children'

(this one can run for twenty years and more)

hixxstar · « **Reply #24 on:** September 16, 2011, 11:52:22 pm »

Maybe it's we have 'Sex' & Women want to make 'Love'... ?
been with my ~~Bitch~~ babe 18 yrs.... we still have are moments... well i like em .

Rafa_La · « **Reply #25 on:** September 17, 2011, 12:38:34 am »

Quote from: hixxstar on September 16, 2011, 11:52:22 pm

Maybe it's we have 'Sex' & Women want to make 'Love'... ?
been with my ~~Bitch~~ babe 18 yrs.... we still have are moments... well i like em .

Mrs Palmer?

rushyman · « **Reply #26 on:** September 17, 2011, 01:19:42 am »

Quote from: hixxstar on September 16, 2011, 11:52:22 pm

Maybe it's we have 'Sex' & Women want to make 'Love'... ?
been with my ~~Bitch~~ babe 18 yrs.... we still have are moments... well i like em .

Why do women want this 'love' all the time. Im sorry, I have deep rooted mental and emotional issues. I have to bang the shit out of you or sit in a dark room self harming listening to Radiohead.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #27 on:** September 17, 2011, 01:34:30 am »

another woman thread, PHONE LA FEMME , works out cheaper in the long run

And Could He Play · « **Reply #28 on:** September 17, 2011, 01:35:48 am »

Quote from: jaffod on September 16, 2011, 11:23:44 pm

Almost as bad as the old 'We'll definitely do it tomorrow' routine.

the amount of times i have heard that

Lady_brandybuck · « **Reply #29 on:** September 17, 2011, 01:36:24 am »

Maybe you're just expecting... when you say RECEIVE, it doesn't sound too well. What about GIVE?

And Could He Play · « **Reply #30 on:** September 17, 2011, 01:36:55 am »

Quote from: Lady_brandybuck on September 17, 2011, 01:36:24 am

Maybe you're just expecting... when you say RECEIVE, it doesn't sound too well. What about GIVE?

Selfish love making right there.

hixxstar · « **Reply #31 on:** September 17, 2011, 01:38:51 am »

tinner777 · « **Reply #32 on:** September 17, 2011, 02:00:44 am »

Quote from: jaffod on September 16, 2011, 11:23:44 pm

Almost as bad as the old 'We'll definitely do it tomorrow' routine.

yea even though she knows your off out, so when you try it again, well you had your chance but you where out

ThepepeReina · « **Reply #33 on:** September 17, 2011, 02:33:40 am »

Feel really young reading this thread.

Rafa_La · « **Reply #34 on:** September 17, 2011, 02:34:51 am »

Quote from: tinner777 on September 17, 2011, 02:00:44 am

yea even though she knows your off out, so when you try it again, well you had your chance but you where out

Either of which caused the headache I have so you get nowt

ThepepeReina · « **Reply #35 on:** September 17, 2011, 02:44:35 am »

marital sex hould be sound, just find a girl who loves you

mildale · « **Reply #36 on:** September 17, 2011, 02:48:32 am »

The only solution is to marry a girl who is waiting until marriage to have sex. Then fill your boots.

ThingOnASpring · « **Reply #37 on:** September 17, 2011, 02:51:09 am »

Quote from: rusty-la on September 16, 2011, 11:32:38 pm

That.

The 'creaky bed'

And my favourite 'we'll wake the Children'

(this one can run for twenty years and more)

Quote from: rusty-la on September 16, 2011, 11:32:38 pm

That.

The 'creaky bed'

And my favourite 'we'll wake the Children'

(this one can run for twenty years and more)

wd40

Les Willis · « **Reply #38 on:** September 17, 2011, 03:04:43 am »

Quote from: ThingOnASpring on September 17, 2011, 02:51:09 am

wd40

My OH prefers Ky..

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #39 on:** September 17, 2011, 07:58:53 am »

Maybe you have a tiny dick or are crap in bed

Who knows mate, maybe once they get that certificate they know they have you by the financial balls so they dont have to let you have sex to get money.

Not that im bitter or owt.