Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Rusty]

Cheers for the support, actually been good this week (the baby went back to her mars on monday). having a DRINK tonight though, arranged night out. not leaving any drinks in the house for when i get home.

The fact you did that is a very good sign - if you can aqvoid coming home and havign an extra 3-4 beers on top of what you have when you are out that is definite progress.

If you can get to the stage where you can have no alcohol in the house and feel comfortable, that is a big psychological landmark.

[Brentieke]

Been off the drink for 7 years.

I used to do heacy drugs in my early 20s. Heavy drugs, heroin, 3 or 4 grams a day.

Then I went into rehab in 2003, was 23. It saved my life. Came out of there in January in 2005, just in time for Istanbul.

Addiction is a killer. I've been clean for 7 years, havent had a line ,a spliff, a drink. Nothing. I dont even play poker.

The thing is, if you're an addict, you're thus completely unable to be moderate. Its all good saying I'll just hae a couple of drinks, but a couple of drinks quickly become getting mullered, which quickly becomes you searching for other pleasures, such as drugs.

I mean, talking about moderation, a good example with me is my weight. In the space of 18 months I gained 30 kilos, then lost 20 in 6 months. Im very extreme when it comes to food, I either getting really fat or quickly lose an insane amount in a short period of time.

My life has been so good since I came out of rehab. I complete my degree, did a masters degree, moved to london, worked, acted in plays, travelled to a couple of dozen different places, saw my team complete the miracle of all miracles in Istanbul. Most of all, I learned how to deal with my problems, my insecurities, with life without the resort of substances.

Having tried every single drug out there, I can say for a fact that alcohol is one of the strongest drugs Ive ever taken and one of the most destructive. If you feel you have a problem with the drink, head steaight to AA because it honestly is as bad as being adicted to H or Crack.

Anyways if anyone out there wants to quit or needs any advice, I aint Betty Ford or anything, but I'm here to share experiences with you.

YNWA.

[AndyInVA]

The fact you did that is a very good sign - if you can aqvoid coming home and havign an extra 3-4 beers on top of what you have when you are out that is definite progress.

If you can get to the stage where you can have no alcohol in the house and feel comfortable, that is a big psychological landmark.

Totally agree.

I think drink can be a great thing when you are out with mates and basically having a good time. Alchohol leaves you with good memories next day.

Its bad when you have another six pack plus hard stuff on top of that and you wake up with a minging head ache and have a shit day at work.

Well done on starting to curb out the excess and get back to a good relationship with booze.

[AndyInVA]

Been off the drink for 7 years.

I used to do heacy drugs in my early 20s. Heavy drugs, heroin, 3 or 4 grams a day.

Then I went into rehab in 2003, was 23. It saved my life. Came out of there in January in 2005, just in time for Istanbul.

Addiction is a killer. I've been clean for 7 years, havent had a line ,a spliff, a drink. Nothing. I dont even play poker.

The thing is, if you're an addict, you're thus completely unable to be moderate. Its all good saying I'll just hae a couple of drinks, but a couple of drinks quickly become getting mullered, which quickly becomes you searching for other pleasures, such as drugs.

I mean, talking about moderation, a good example with me is my weight. In the space of 18 months I gained 30 kilos, then lost 20 in 6 months. Im very extreme when it comes to food, I either getting really fat or quickly lose an insane amount in a short period of time.

My life has been so good since I came out of rehab. I complete my degree, did a masters degree, moved to london, worked, acted in plays, travelled to a couple of dozen different places, saw my team complete the miracle of all miracles in Istanbul. Most of all, I learned how to deal with my problems, my insecurities, with life without the resort of substances.

Having tried every single drug out there, I can say for a fact that alcohol is one of the strongest drugs Ive ever taken and one of the most destructive. If you feel you have a problem with the drink, head steaight to AA because it honestly is as bad as being adicted to H or Crack.

Anyways if anyone out there wants to quit or needs any advice, I aint Betty Ford or anything, but I'm here to share experiences with you.

YNWA.

great post

I've never tried any hard drugs and your quote about alchohol amazes me

well done on yoru achievement

[Brentieke]

That's a great post, if you don't mind me saying so mate.

Cheers mate.

great post

I've never tried any hard drugs and your quote about alchohol amazes me

well done on yoru achievement

Cheers as well.

Alcohol is the most misunderstood drug in the world.

I've taken smack, cocaine,crack, E, painkillers, sleeping pills etc etc...And Alcohol is right up there with all of them.

If it was discovered today, theres no doubt in my mind that it would be considered as a category A drug. The way it influences your mood, your behavior...The way you totaly lose control of your body, of yourself, of your actions...The way it leaves you completely destroyed the next day. It's fucken lethal if you abuse it and so much harder to stop than drugs because it so linked to your social life. It's acceptable in your social circle, so you'll always be confronted by it.

For example, I've never seen smack since I went up to rehab. But I've seen alcohol a million times. Ive never been offered smack since I finished rehab, but people have begged me to have just one drink with them a million times. People have never egged me on to have a hit of crack since rehab, but they've tried to convince me to have shots with them. I've never had to explain to people why I dont take H, but I constantly have to explain that I dont drink. At birthdays and christmases, weddings and funerals, I aint surrounded by people celebrating or crying with E but with a glass of wine or champagne, whiskey or vodka. In Taksim Square, it wasnt hash that people were taking...It was alcohol...

It's in your face all the time and you;re surrounded by enablers all the time. If you feel you have a problem, you almost certainly do. You're not going to get better by self medicating and thinking you can control it. If you've reached the stage where you come on RAWK for help, then you most certainly need to find people that work on helping addicts get better for a living.

[Corkboy]

Alcohol is the most misunderstood drug in the world.

That, and all the rest of it, is entirely true.

I have an extended family of people who, at least among the older generations, would be mostly anti drug, drugs are bad m'kay? type folks. Out of your standard aunts, uncles and grandparents, there were at least two stone cold alcos, lived to drink sorts (one more or less died of it), and a dozen everyday drinkers.

[TSC]

Strange thing about alcohol is that it doesn't get 'everyone', say, compared to cigs.  Most can have a few drinks at the weekend and then forget it until the next weeend.  Or even easily do without it for a month or so.  Whereas if you get hooked on the cigs you tend to need some every day.

This of course will be of no consolation to anyone who is actually dependent on alcohol.  But just a general observation really. 

[realtarragona]

Plenty of people can and do only smoke when they have a bevvy though.

[TSC]

Plenty of people can and do only smoke when they have a bevvy though.

Yeah but nowhere near the amount of people who can enjoy a 'social' drink without getting hooked to 'alcoholism', which is the majority.  Whereas the majority of 'smokers' are hooked 7 days a week.

[AndyInVA]

I think the comment above about being an addict rings true.

What you become an 'addict', and I'm sure the levels are different for everyone, moderation goes out of the window.

[ianfb25]

I probably need to admit to having a problem myself at some point soon..... which in itself means I need to do it now really, whatever I tell myself. Three quarts a litre of brandy tonight for me and dont feel so bad, but thats after a work do yesterday that started at 11:45 in Carraghers and ended at 6:30 Saturday morning.... up at 12:15 Saturday afternoon and opened a corono for the match.

Full respect and support for anyone trying to give it up, not into drugs in the slightest but the beer? Christ almighty it is gonna do me in, no doubt.

[realtarragona]

What is a problem anyway. When it affects your life (work etc) or is it before that? I think I might have, although the drug isn't alcohol...

[AndyInVA]

I would describe a problem as it having a negative affect on your life.

That is your job, your short term health, or the relationships of the loved ones around you.

[jason42]

Cheers mate.

Cheers as well.

Alcohol is the most misunderstood drug in the world.

I've taken smack, cocaine,crack, E, painkillers, sleeping pills etc etc...And Alcohol is right up there with all of them.

If it was discovered today, theres no doubt in my mind that it would be considered as a category A drug. The way it influences your mood, your behavior...The way you totaly lose control of your body, of yourself, of your actions...The way it leaves you completely destroyed the next day. It's fucken lethal if you abuse it and so much harder to stop than drugs because it so linked to your social life. It's acceptable in your social circle, so you'll always be confronted by it.

For example, I've never seen smack since I went up to rehab. But I've seen alcohol a million times. Ive never been offered smack since I finished rehab, but people have begged me to have just one drink with them a million times. People have never egged me on to have a hit of crack since rehab, but they've tried to convince me to have shots with them. I've never had to explain to people why I dont take H, but I constantly have to explain that I dont drink. At birthdays and christmases, weddings and funerals, I aint surrounded by people celebrating or crying with E but with a glass of wine or champagne, whiskey or vodka. In Taksim Square, it wasnt hash that people were taking...It was alcohol...

It's in your face all the time and you;re surrounded by enablers all the time. If you feel you have a problem, you almost certainly do. You're not going to get better by self medicating and thinking you can control it. If you've reached the stage where you come on RAWK for help, then you most certainly need to find people that work on helping addicts get better for a living.

I have the same problem with people not being able to understand how or why I don't drink. I don't feel the need to explain myself and I can enjoy myself without having to drink but some people are a real pain and try anything to get me to drink. One even tried to spike my coke with vodka.

[gerrardspetal]

Been off the drink for 7 years.

I used to do heacy drugs in my early 20s. Heavy drugs, heroin, 3 or 4 grams a day.

Then I went into rehab in 2003, was 23. It saved my life. Came out of there in January in 2005, just in time for Istanbul.

Addiction is a killer. I've been clean for 7 years, havent had a line ,a spliff, a drink. Nothing. I dont even play poker.

The thing is, if you're an addict, you're thus completely unable to be moderate. Its all good saying I'll just hae a couple of drinks, but a couple of drinks quickly become getting mullered, which quickly becomes you searching for other pleasures, such as drugs.

I mean, talking about moderation, a good example with me is my weight. In the space of 18 months I gained 30 kilos, then lost 20 in 6 months. Im very extreme when it comes to food, I either getting really fat or quickly lose an insane amount in a short period of time.

My life has been so good since I came out of rehab. I complete my degree, did a masters degree, moved to london, worked, acted in plays, travelled to a couple of dozen different places, saw my team complete the miracle of all miracles in Istanbul. Most of all, I learned how to deal with my problems, my insecurities, with life without the resort of substances.

Having tried every single drug out there, I can say for a fact that alcohol is one of the strongest drugs Ive ever taken and one of the most destructive. If you feel you have a problem with the drink, head steaight to AA because it honestly is as bad as being adicted to H or Crack.

Anyways if anyone out there wants to quit or needs any advice, I aint Betty Ford or anything, but I'm here to share experiences with you.

YNWA.

Well done!!!!

[Brentieke]

I have the same problem with people not being able to understand how or why I don't drink. I don't feel the need to explain myself and I can enjoy myself without having to drink but some people are a real pain and try anything to get me to drink. One even tried to spike my coke with vodka.

Yep it's incessant isnt it.

Sometimes, you feel very proud when you say. It's sort of your brand. I can go out, and not need a drink to have fun or muster up some courage to chat up birds. You look at hos some people are unsure of themsevles if they're not wasted, and you feel very proud.

Other times, it's a chore. People are constantly on your ass, you feel left out sometimes when all your mates are buzzing and you're sober, you become very sensitive to when people's mood changes while they're drinking... And yes, sometimes you do fancy a drink, however strong you are, whether it's for the buzz, to have fun, to feel part of the group...

All in all, I'm happy I aint drinking. I know that I could never have just the one, or keep it under control. The day I drink, knowing me, I'll start thinking that seeing as Ive relapsed I may as well go and score drugs, seeing as I've thrown it all down the drain, I may as do it properly.

I read some of the posts on here and I really feel with people like HF. I know what it feels like to be dependant on a substance. How you can go a few days clean and think you've cracked it, and then go out on a massive bender and feel absolute shit afterwards. I know the desperation and the misery addiction entrails and I pray every night that people can beat it.

And if you do HF, trust me mate, it will be the porudest achivement of your life. It will define you in the eyes of so many people as a man who looked the devil in the eye and just brushed him off. The people you love will be so proud of you and most importantly you will be so proud of yourself. You'll wake up every morning knowing how strong you are, how good you are and how determined you are. It will be the biggest boost to your self confidence and self love.

[jason42]

Yep it's incessant isnt it.

Sometimes, you feel very proud when you say. It's sort of your brand. I can go out, and not need a drink to have fun or muster up some courage to chat up birds. You look at hos some people are unsure of themsevles if they're not wasted, and you feel very proud.

Other times, it's a chore. People are constantly on your ass, you feel left out sometimes when all your mates are buzzing and you're sober, you become very sensitive to when people's mood changes while they're drinking... And yes, sometimes you do fancy a drink, however strong you are, whether it's for the buzz, to have fun, to feel part of the group...

All in all, I'm happy I aint drinking. I know that I could never have just the one, or keep it under control. The day I drink, knowing me, I'll start thinking that seeing as Ive relapsed I may as well go and score drugs, seeing as I've thrown it all down the drain, I may as do it properly.

I read some of the posts on here and I really feel with people like HF. I know what it feels like to be dependant on a substance. How you can go a few days clean and think you've cracked it, and then go out on a massive bender and feel absolute shit afterwards. I know the desperation and the misery addiction entrails and I pray every night that people can beat it.

And if you do HF, trust me mate, it will be the porudest achivement of your life. It will define you in the eyes of so many people as a man who looked the devil in the eye and just brushed him off. The people you love will be so proud of you and most importantly you will be so proud of yourself. You'll wake up every morning knowing how strong you are, how good you are and how determined you are. It will be the biggest boost to your self confidence and self love.

All too true Brentie. People just can't fathom that I don't want/need a drink.
I sincerely hope you stay off everything and stay clean. It will never be easy but it will be worth it in the long run.

[Johnnyboy1973]

.......... and so it begins.

The holiday time of seeing all and sundry, many of whom you only see one it year and as such,

"Would ya have a drink?"

"Ah, go on, it's Christmas?

How 'bout you fuck off. I mean, how many fucking times do people have to be told?

[cj]

.......... and so it begins.

The holiday time of seeing all and sundry, many of whom you only see one it year and as such,

"Would ya have a drink?"

"Ah, go on, it's Christmas?

How 'bout you fuck off. I mean, how many fucking times do people have to be told?

While I understand what you are on about you have to equate that with them having no proper inside knowledge of your dealings at all. Is every well wisher of yours aware that you might have a problem? Do they use it to take the piss out of you?

[jason42]

While I understand what you are on about you have to equate that with them having no proper inside knowledge of your dealings at all. Is every well wisher of yours aware that you might have a problem? Do they use it to take the piss out of you?

It is in my case. People know I don't drink but still try. Even new ones I meet and tell still keep going on about having a drink and make out that I am some sort of freak. I assume it's the same with Jonny1973

[Maggie May]

I despise people who come that caper.  They're not friends or well wishers.  I think they're cruel.  And its not as if they're not aware of the various consequences of people going back on the drink.  I remember when it was said that to go back on the drink could kill George Best - people who swore they were lifelong fans queued up to buy him a drink.   

[And Could He Play]

Right, spent the last two days with my ex, getting everything ready for the baby. Been getting on boss considering the murder we have been through, all old feelings coming back in such a short time, than bang shes upstairs, message comes through to her phone, new fella "what time should i pick you up babe", pathetic i know but another christmas on my own going to drink myself into oblivion tonight. Bye.

[jason42]

Right, spent the last two days with my ex, getting everything ready for the baby. Been getting on boss considering the murder we have been through, all old feelings coming back in such a short time, than bang shes upstairs, message comes through to her phone, new fella "what time should i pick you up babe", pathetic i know but another christmas on my own going to drink myself into oblivion tonight. Bye.

Feel for you mate, I really do. When are you having the little one over Christmas? Use that as your support...

[And Could He Play]

Feel for you mate, I really do. When are you having the little one over Christmas? Use that as your support...

got her tomorrow night and boxing night. Then another new year on me own, fucking depressed. Twatted me head when i saw that message. Still in love with the girl after everything whats happened. thought she was too, obviously not. Cheers anyway mate.

[Fighting Irishman]

Sorry to hear your having a bad time mate, been reading this thread with interest for a long time now, focus on making the best of your time with your little one over the next few days, women come and go, your kids are your kids for life, I hope you make the best of it pal, and I sincerely wish you all the best, for what its worth, merry Christmas mate!

[Effes]

got her tomorrow night and boxing night. Then another new year on me own, fucking depressed. Twatted me head when i saw that message. Still in love with the girl after everything whats happened. thought she was too, obviously not. Cheers anyway mate.

Mate, I think we've swapped opinions about being a single father on here before.

This time of the year can be the hardest - but at least you are seeing your daughter mate.
Some people out there dont even get that "luxury".

Ive been a single Dad for 13 years now. It gets better, Im telling yer.

Got my own place now, phone my daughter (who's 15 now) directly on her moby , pay her Mum by Direct Debit.
I have zero dealings with her Mum.
It's Happy Days.

You will have this in years to come - you've just got to put the (huge, I know) effort in over the
next few years. Keep it together - for your girl.

And you want to jib any feelings for your ex pronto - from what you've said in the past, you'd
be selling yourself short if you crawled back to her.
Jib her. And just concentrate on your girl.

[jason42]

got her tomorrow night and boxing night. Then another new year on me own, fucking depressed. Twatted me head when i saw that message. Still in love with the girl after everything whats happened. thought she was too, obviously not. Cheers anyway mate.

Any time you need someone to sound off to mate - give me a shout. I'm pretty much always around. It's hard when you still have feelings for her. I don't want to give any hope but does she know how you feel?
Keep your chin up mate - YNWA..

[And Could He Play]

jason ill answer that im pm, anyway smashed now.

[C]

i promise not to come in here tomorrow with my stinking hanggover and confess to having a serious drinking problem, like that one lad did

alot of booze about this time of year, stay strong guys.

[Rusty]

Right, spent the last two days with my ex, getting everything ready for the baby. Been getting on boss considering the murder we have been through, all old feelings coming back in such a short time, than bang shes upstairs, message comes through to her phone, new fella "what time should i pick you up babe", pathetic i know but another christmas on my own going to drink myself into oblivion tonight. Bye.

Sounds like a right shite to deal with mate, the only thing I would say is try to stay strong and just remember that your daughter is the most important thing through all of this.

And as lame as it sounds, there is always the people in this thread on RAWK who are looking out for you and want to help out - even if it is just listening to you venting steam when things are shitty.

All the best mate.

[AndyInVA]

I don't blame you at all. Some triggers are too hard to resist.
Enjoy getting blasted, try not to anything stupid and just try to fast forward to Monday morning.

[MackemLad]

I think i am a bit dependent, sitting here now with a big glass of wine just to take the edge of the come down of the end of festivities and going back to work being on the horizon. I think the majority of the country are dependent to be honest, must be over 50%

[And Could He Play]

Right, update time, did get smashed that night over me ex, end of the day though havent been with her for a year and who am i to stop her meeting someone. We have still been getting on boss lately. Also xmas night and boxing were heavy ones, allowed though?

[Johnnyboy1973]

Also xmas night and boxing were heavy ones, allowed though?

Not if you feel you have an alcohol problem, no.

[AndyInVA]

totally feel that its OK. If you are on your own its almost impossible to totally give it up. In a regular routine of work, gym, cook, eat, TV, wank, bed then it easy to stay off the booze.
If your home alone when your ex has the kid, I think the best you can do is limit the damage. I think the fact your are still engaged with this thread is a really good sign.
Let it go, look forward to getting back to a routine and doing a better job of  cutting back.

[C]

Andy it doesn't matter if you 'feel its OK'

it simply isn't, for someone to get ruined like that - if they are trying to give up and you saying otherwise, isn't going to help his cause

[CHOPPER]

Right, update time, did get smashed that night over me ex, end of the day though havent been with her for a year and who am i to stop her meeting someone. We have still been getting on boss lately. Also xmas night and boxing were heavy ones, allowed though?

In all honesty mate it's about you controlling the drink and not the other way around, am a big drinker and admittedly I haven't had some of the personal issues you've had but there are times when we all get down, you've just got to have a word with yourself if your constantly looking to drink when you feel down. I'm probably not the shoulder you may be looking for, but sometimes you've got to say to yourself how it really is and feeling depressed and then going on the ale is a downward spiral. You realy need to get out of that cycle, if thats why your doing it. Drinking is about being or becoming merry, not hiding pain, yes, you can do it the odd time but if you consistently do it you'll never get out of that vicious circle. Good luck fella and at the end of the day thers only you that can sort it out.

[And Could He Play]

Cheers people. Sober as a judge tonight.

[AndyInVA]

Andy it doesn't matter if you 'feel its OK'

it simply isn't, for someone to get ruined like that - if they are trying to give up and you saying otherwise, isn't going to help his cause

I guess I am just talking from my own experiences and on some level you are of course right.

I just feel you have to fight the battle you can win. When you first come off, I feel its too hard to totally cold turkey unless you have people around you who give you a nice easy environment.

If you dont have that, then I feel you should be setting targets of not drinking during the week, then drink less than 8 pints on Friday and Saturday.

Then from that you start to bring it down and you control the booze and not the booze control you.

I just know myself that sometimes, regardless of my best intentions, there were times I couldnt control it and turned to drink to feel better.

The only control I had after that was to try to go bed as early as possible to finish the day and look forward to a new day tomorrow.

[AndyInVA]

Cheers people. Sober as a judge tonight.

Well done mate.