Author Topic: Ask - R(ob)AWK replies (Read 1049077 times)

SamAteTheRedAcid · « **Reply #320 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:09:22 pm »

Dear RAWK

What was the name of the PE kit that you had to wear if you forgot your own kit called? You know, the skanky set of mis-shapen, unwashed no-brand inherited from various unhygenic former pupils that everybody dreaded.

SP · « **Reply #321 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:39:54 pm »

Quote from: rapcage on September 15, 2009, 12:11:59 pm

is cock reduction an actual possible procedure?

Is now where a mod bans you and then answers yes?

SP · « **Reply #322 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:40:28 pm »

Quote from: fry on September 15, 2009, 12:19:26 pm

Aparently tom jones used to dip his bits in mouthwash so they shrivel up before shows.

According to David Niven it's just the thing to do after a day on the piste.

SP · « **Reply #323 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:43:03 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on September 15, 2009, 01:08:54 pm

Dear RAWK -

What do I do in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

scatman · « **Reply #324 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:45:37 pm »

Quote from: Southern Pansy on September 15, 2009, 01:39:54 pm

Is now where a mod bans you and then answers yes?

hopefully no, it was a serious question

redbyrdz · « **Reply #325 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:47:04 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on September 15, 2009, 01:08:54 pm

Dear RAWK -

What do I do in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

read this:

kitano · « **Reply #326 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:50:23 pm »

Quote from: SamAteTheRedAcid on September 15, 2009, 01:09:22 pm

Dear RAWK

What was the name of the PE kit that you had to wear if you forgot your own kit called? You know, the skanky set of mis-shapen, unwashed no-brand inherited from various unhygenic former pupils that everybody dreaded.

The Meff Box, got detention for refusing to wear it once, bah.

SP · « **Reply #327 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:51:05 pm »

Quote from: rapcage on September 15, 2009, 01:45:37 pm

hopefully no, it was a serious question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080202153927AAV8MOt

http://www.penis-reduction.com

or even circumcision...

Brian Blessed · « **Reply #328 on:** September 15, 2009, 02:06:30 pm »

Best way to get a cock reduction is to look at nude pics of Jo Brand.

Oddball · « **Reply #329 on:** September 15, 2009, 08:45:27 pm »

Quote from: corkboy on September 15, 2009, 11:52:48 am

Who is the Fairy across the Mersey?

Quote from: Southern Pansy on September 15, 2009, 11:55:36 am

Paul O'Grady.

I always thought it was Pete Price.

Mouth · « **Reply #330 on:** September 15, 2009, 09:05:25 pm »

Quote from: Al Bol on September 15, 2009, 01:23:36 pm

Dear RAWK,
What are the top five woolyback activities?

In no particular order.

1. Incest.
2. Sheep shagging.
3. Putting ferrets down their keks.
4. Wife beating.
5. Eating pies.

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #331 on:** September 16, 2009, 11:16:20 am »

Dear Rawk,

Went out on the lash last night and ended up shagging a bird with very bad hair. Trouble is, I don't know her name. How can I find out?

Brian Blessed · « **Reply #332 on:** September 16, 2009, 12:15:32 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on September 16, 2009, 11:16:20 am

Dear Rawk,

Went out on the lash last night and ended up shagging a bird with very bad hair. Trouble is, I don't know her name. How can I find out?

Ask her if her name is spelt with an i or a y.

redbyrdz · « **Reply #333 on:** September 16, 2009, 03:06:30 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on September 16, 2009, 11:16:20 am

Dear Rawk,

Went out on the lash last night and ended up shagging a bird with very bad hair. Trouble is, I don't know her name. How can I find out?

Find her fella and look at his tattoos.

Corkboy · « **Reply #334 on:** September 16, 2009, 03:26:22 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on September 16, 2009, 11:16:20 am

Dear Rawk,

Went out on the lash last night and ended up shagging a bird with very bad hair. Trouble is, I don't know her name. How can I find out?

"Are you Amy Winehouse?"

24/7 · « **Reply #335 on:** September 17, 2009, 11:07:11 pm »

Dear RAWK

I have been pontificating on this one for a while. No-one has been able to offer anything approaching a serious or, for that matter, a credible reply.

Dogs bark. Cats miaow. What sound, if any, do spiders make?

I'd like to think that they are aware of the torture that I inflict upon them and I am hoping that you will say they make sounds like, "Aaaaargh! Get that lighter away from me, you torturing BASTARD!" or "You wait until I am reincarnated as your WIFE! You will rue the day, fucker!"

Etc.

Anyway - if anyone knows, RAWK knows.

Yours faithfully

Sadistic Spider-Torturer.

(PS - this is kind of a serious question......since spider's have the ability to digest food with a mouth, I am genuinely curious to know if they can make sounds/noises with that mouth of their own volition)

SP · « **Reply #336 on:** September 17, 2009, 11:26:59 pm »

Quote from: 24/7 on September 17, 2009, 11:07:11 pm

(PS - this is kind of a serious question......since spider's have the ability to digest food with a mouth, I am genuinely curious to know if they can make sounds/noises with that mouth of their own volition)

The serious answer is that they lack a larynx. They can play Air on a G string (although shifted by several octaves) by plucking their webs though...

exiledintheUSA · « **Reply #337 on:** September 19, 2009, 12:28:30 am »

Dear RAWK

If Everton are the peoples club, why was the ground half empty on a European night?

JimmyGrunt · « **Reply #338 on:** September 19, 2009, 03:38:04 am »

Quote from: exiledintheusa on September 19, 2009, 12:28:30 am

Dear RAWK

If Everton are the peoples club, why was the ground half empty on a European night?

Errrrrrrrrr, *eh-eeerrrrrr*

And Could He Play · « **Reply #339 on:** September 19, 2009, 11:42:55 am »

Quote from: exiledintheusa on September 19, 2009, 12:28:30 am

Dear RAWK

If Everton are the peoples club, why was the ground half empty on a European night?

At the risk of repeating myself, you were fooled. It was full, Fancy dress night, they all dressed as blue seats.

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #340 on:** September 26, 2009, 02:50:08 pm »

Dear RAWK,

Who would get the most pussy in a single night, Don Juan, John F. Kennedy, or the Fonz? Assume all three are in the same nightclub.

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #341 on:** September 26, 2009, 02:51:13 pm »

Quote from: And Could He Play on September 19, 2009, 11:42:55 am

At the risk of repeating myself, you were fooled. It was full, Fancy dress night, they all dressed as blue seats.

Wow that's great commitment that they do that for every game.

jambutty · « **Reply #342 on:** September 26, 2009, 02:53:07 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on September 26, 2009, 02:50:08 pm

Dear RAWK,

Who would get the most pussy in a single night, Don Juan, John F. Kennedy, or the Fonz? Assume all three are in the same nightclub.

The Fonz.

The rest are dead.

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #343 on:** September 26, 2009, 02:55:19 pm »

Quote from: jambutty on September 26, 2009, 02:53:07 pm

The Fonz.

The rest are dead.

Didn't he die in Click?

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #344 on:** September 26, 2009, 03:08:16 pm »

Did he?

I thought Dirk Kuyt was the Fonz?

SP · « **Reply #345 on:** September 26, 2009, 06:18:22 pm »

Quote from: Finn Solomon on September 26, 2009, 02:55:19 pm

Didn't he die in Click?

He definitely bought it in one of the Scream movies.

Corkboy · « **Reply #346 on:** September 26, 2009, 09:53:49 pm »

How far do you think King Kong and that blonde bird really went?

SP · « **Reply #347 on:** September 26, 2009, 11:21:07 pm »

Quote from: corkboy on September 26, 2009, 09:53:49 pm

How far do you think King Kong and that blonde bird really went?

Right to the top of the Empire State Building.

Finn Solomon · « **Reply #348 on:** September 27, 2009, 02:03:42 am »

Quote from: corkboy on September 26, 2009, 09:53:49 pm

How far do you think King Kong and that blonde bird really went?

How do you think Wayne Rooney was born?

Phil M · « **Reply #349 on:** September 27, 2009, 02:26:17 am »

Who's more corrupt, Flavio Briatore or a Premier League referee?

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #350 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:13:48 pm »

Quote from: Phil M on September 27, 2009, 02:26:17 am

Who's more corrupt, Flavio Briatore or a Premier League referee?

Prem referee, Briatore isnt on Mr Ferguson's payroll.

Party Phil · « **Reply #351 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:24:50 pm »

Quote from: corkboy on September 26, 2009, 09:53:49 pm

How far do you think King Kong and that blonde bird really went?

third base

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #352 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:28:54 pm »

Right I know the Angel of the North is positioned the way it is because it's welcoming people to the North.

But does that mean it's turning it's back on those going south because it doesn't appreciate them?

Rigga · « **Reply #353 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:36:59 pm »

It's superceding Hadrian's Wall as the border. The Geordies are now Scotlands problem, and the statue is baring it's arse mockingly at Scotland. They have Newcastle, we keep getting the oil - Such are their childlike aspirations for more land, as oppose to more useful land, that they will probably think they're getting the better end of the deal when all this becomes official...

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #354 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:43:23 pm »

So Sunderland's in England then?

Rigga · « **Reply #355 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:47:51 pm »

Sunderland will remain a refugee camp for the undesirables from both countries

Hopefully having a similar effect to that of a moat.

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #356 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:50:50 pm »

Quote from: Rigga on September 27, 2009, 12:47:51 pm

Sunderland will remain a refugee camp for the undesirables from both countries

Hopefully having a similar effect to that of a moat.

Yeah I can agree with that

(I dont live in Sunderland any more so its ok for me to say that)

Rigga · « **Reply #357 on:** September 27, 2009, 12:54:10 pm »

Well if you're not going to get insulted, I won't make the effort next time

RigBon1892 · « **Reply #358 on:** September 27, 2009, 01:01:28 pm »

Quote from: Rigga on September 27, 2009, 12:54:10 pm

Well if you're not going to get insulted, I won't make the effort next time

Well I live between Newcastle and Sunderland, does that mean Id be in the moat??

Jaska · « **Reply #359 on:** September 28, 2009, 01:59:38 pm »

Dear RAWK,

What's the story behind all the N'gog schlong jokes that have been flying all around RAWK lately?