Here you go Balders, see if this rings any bells
Private Baldrick's hobbies include cookery, his specialities include:
Rat au Van (a rat that's been run over by a van),
Filet mignon in Sauce Bearnaise (dog turds covered in glue),
Plum duff (a mole hill decorated in rabbit droppings),
Cream custard (cat's vomit), and
Coffee (hot mud), with milk (spit), sugar (dandruff) and rather dubious 'chocolate sprinkles'.
Apple crumble which contains fish
More rat; Sauté, which involves:
taking the freshly shaved rat and marinading it in a puddle until it is drowned
stretching it out under a hot lightbulb
getting within dashing distance of a latrine
wolfing it down!
Rat fricassé, which is the same as above, but a slightly bigger rat.
This Baldrick is also a poet. His greatest poem is, without a doubt, 'The German Guns'. The words are:
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom,
Boom, Boom, Boom,
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom,
Boom, Boom, Boom
Baldrick was particularly surprised when Captain Blackadder guessed the final line.
During his time in the trenches, Baldrick also wrote a second poem; the words are as follows:
Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
So I sing sing sing...ding-a-ling-a-ling.
Blackadder commented that "it started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better-but apart from that it was excellent."
Baldrick also does a fantastic Charlie Chaplin impression (although some believe it to be a slug balancing act).
