Topic: The newbie apple thread

[bradigor]

that baby of yours has one massive hand bradigor but i'm sure you know that already

[PaulF]

that baby of yours has one massive hand bradigor but i'm sure you know that already

He's going to look great with massive foam hands when he's older 

[WorldChampions]

Pc owners suck cock

[Mudface_]

New MacBook- £750. Sell after 12 months of wondering why you bought it for £450. Buy a new one for £750. Total cost- £1050

Better specced PC laptop- £500. Sell after 12 months for £150. Buy a new one for £500. Total cost- £850

BARGAIN.

Unless you've got a compelling reason to buy a MacBook (like you're a bummer or something), you're better off with the PC.

[iSmiff]

so i got £375 for the piece of shit mac

foolish mac users

[GinKop]

so i got £375 for the piece of shit mac

foolish mac users

Out of interest Smiff, how come you are selling it?

[Matt S]

Out of interest Smiff, how come you are selling it?

because he didnt like the stigma

[GinKop]

because he didnt like the stigma

Of being cultured and intelligent?

[Matt S]

Of being cultured and intelligent?

exactly

[nidgemo]

Can you only ever see things from a designers point of view?

Stick any of those programs in front of a secretary you'll make her cry.

I once tried to open a tin with a banana. Useless.

Not really - any of them, with one days training, would be infinately easier than word for basic tasks. AND her work would be faster, and look much more professional.

[¡Basta Ya!]

I once tried to open a tin with a banana.

What that was a bit stupid wasn't it.

Sort of thing a typical PC evangelist would do though.

[iSmiff]

Out of interest Smiff, how come you are selling it?

i started fancying men

[GinKop]

i started fancying men

That'll be the new Aero effects.

[mulfella]

Not really - any of them, with one days training, would be infinately easier than word for basic tasks. AND her work would be faster, and look much more professional.

For basic tasks. As you don't seem to realise though, you might only use it for basic tasks but many businesses use its advanced features generate documents lightening quick and centrally stored with client records etc.....

The right tool for the right job.

I give up. Enjoy your bubble.

[Mudface_]

Not really - any of them, with one days training, would be infinately easier than word for basic tasks. AND her work would be faster, and look much more professional.

Obviously, every business in the world forks out for £800 licenses so that their admin staff can compose memos on DTP packages.

[Mudface_]

No wonder Macs are so overpriced, look at this greedy bastard.

[¡Basta Ya!]

No wonder Macs are so overpriced, look at this greedy bastard.

Fucking hell. $656mill

[Mudface_]

Out of total revenue of around $20 billion. Every time you buy a Mac, about 3.5% of the MRP, never mind the cost price, goes straight into his pocket. It doesn't quite explain why Macs are up to 50% more expensive than PCs, but the Jobs Tax is a start...

[¡Basta Ya!]

Out of total revenue of around $20 billion. Every time you buy a Mac, about 3.5% of the MRP, never mind the cost price, goes straight into his pocket. It doesn't quite explain why Macs are up to 50% more expensive than PCs, but the Jobs Tax is a start...

Good on the lad. I'd milk the fucker till it ran dry if I had the chance.

[Mudface_]

Won't be long now.

*taps nose*

[PaulF]

Fairness intervention

Billy Gates is hardly a pauper is he?
Also Jobs' cash is from stock options. He is only making those piles of cash because Apple are doing well

--End Intervention--

Oh and talking of sadness, I saw a car today with the apple logo on it. It was Skoda of some sort, I couldn't tell you what model though.

[GinKop]

Oh and talking of sadness, I saw a car today with the apple logo on it. It was Skoda of some sort, I couldn't tell you what model though.

That would have been Nidge on his travels.

[Mudface_]

Fairness, schmairness. He's a thief like all cult leaders. The only reason Apple are doing well is because Macs are made for buttons by crippled Chinese orphans in Jobs's far Eastern concentration camps, then sold to rich Western faggot fashion victims at a huge markup.

[nidgemo]

Fairness, schmairness. He's a thief like all cult leaders. The only reason Apple are doing well is because Macs are made for buttons by crippled Chinese orphans in Jobs's far Eastern concentration camps

That'll be Cork, then?

http://www.apple.com/jobs/us/pro/inside/locations.html

That would have been Nidge on his travels.

Nidge drives a very nice BMW, thank you (and it's doesn't have any apple stickers on it)

[¡Basta Ya!]

and it's doesn't have any apple stickers on it

 

And you call yourself a Mac user!

[iSmiff]

i thought all mac users drove the Prius

hippy bastards

[NYkopite]

Out of total revenue of around $20 billion. Every time you buy a Mac, about 3.5% of the MRP, never mind the cost price, goes straight into his pocket. It doesn't quite explain why Macs are up to 50% more expensive than PCs, but the Jobs Tax is a start...

He was given stock options years ago that were due to be vested this year. When the options were granted the stock was worth only a fraction of what it is today. It didn't cost Apple or the consumers $650 million.

 He got the stock price up, so he benefits from that. He also risked ending up with nothing by taking stock options as opposed to salary.

[Mudface_]

^
|
|
Rattled.

He's a crook. I can't wait until he's in prison, getting repeatedly buggered by Linux Queens.

[Brian Blessed]

I'ts hilarious how these fuckers that earn millions a year are so greedy that they still skim off the top. It seems to be happening more and more. Absolute c*nts.

[Mudface_]

Happens all the time with small time cult leaders. They think they can do what they want, as all their loony, in-thrall acolytes just bend over again and again. Owning a Mac is like joining the Scientologists.

[PaulF]

Owning a Mac is like joining the Scientologists.

Hyperbole at it's finest 

[iSmiff]

Tom Cruise uses a Mac, as does John Travolta.
L. Ron Hubbard drafted the basis for Scientology on a Mac.

These are all facts that you can check on the internet.

[Mudface_]

Obviously, strong-minded people like me and Smiff were able to avoid being brain-washed, but it's a shame that there seems to be so many feeble witted simpletons who can't get out of the cult and try and spread its foulness amongst good, honest folk.

[Bullan]

At a guess, your problem is that you're using a Mac. Please contact Apple for help, and see how far you get.

[nidgemo]

Obviously, strong-minded people like me and Smiff were able to avoid being brain-washed, but it's a shame that there seems to be so many feeble witted simpletons who can't get out of the cult and try and spread its foulness amongst good, honest folk.

Shame. Isn't it. 95% of computer users or something they've got now. Perhaps we can send the ATF to do a Waco on Microsoft HQ.

[iSmiff]

old article

s Apple a cult?

I was reading about MacWorld and the rabid fanatics there. I have pondered before this question. Now you can read my conclusion.

Is Apple a cult?

From: http://www.cultinformation.org.uk/definit.html

Every cult can be defined as a group having all of the following five characteristics:

1. It uses psychological coercion to recruit, indoctrinate and retain its members
2. It forms an elitist totalitarian society
3. Its founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, messianic, not accountable and has charisma
4. It believes 'the end justifies the means' in order to solicit funds, recruit people
5. Its wealth does not benefit its members or society


Let's run through the numbers shall we?

1) Yep, see http://www.macevangelist.com/
2) Yep, see http://cult-of-mac.utu.fi/
3) Yep, All hail Steve!
4) Yep, check with Apple legal on this one
5) Unless you own stock, Yep

Looks like a cult to me.

[nidgemo]

Every cult can be defined as a group having all of the following five characteristics:

1. It uses psychological coercion to recruit, indoctrinate and retain its members
2. It forms an elitist totalitarian society
3. Its founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, messianic, not accountable and has charisma
4. It believes 'the end justifies the means' in order to solicit funds, recruit people
5. Its wealth does not benefit its members or society

Ah. OK. I can see where Gates isn't quite making it. He ticks the boxes for 1, 2, 4 and 5, but has no charisma so loses out on 3.

Tom Cruise uses a Mac, as does John Travolta.

Smiff. That's a step too far. It's all OK having a laugh and a joke, but that's not on. There's a line bud, and you crossed it. I'm going to report you to a moderator and hope you get banned.

[Brian Blessed]

Ah. OK. I can see where Gates isn't quite making it. He ticks the boxes for 1, 2, 4 and 5, but has no charisma so loses out on 3.

Smiff. That's a step too far. It's all OK having a laugh and a joke, but that's not on. There's a line bud, and you crossed it. I'm going to report you to a moderator and hope you get banned.

Did your cell leader tell you to say that?

[nidgemo]

microsoft acolyte in "no sense of humour" shocker!!!

[Brian Blessed]

Apple acolyte in "no sense of humour" shocker!!!