Topic: Shanklyboy's and Fat Scousers ( Leo who's still alive ) auld arse thread

[Dr. Beaker]

I knew I'd heard it, but I couldn't remember where. As for lyrics... that skat shit is woeful. That Cleo Lane malarkey, boo boo badadadday boo, done my nut in.

Totally agree - even worse than the obligatory half-our long double bass solo.

[kopite.keith]

Good to hear things are on the mend FS, especially knowing you're gonna get the best treatment possible. What's next? Salsa dancing...

[Dr. Beaker]

Good to hear things are on the mend FS, especially knowing you're gonna get the best treatment possible. What's next? Salsa dancing...

Nah, too jazzy.

[kopite.keith]

Nah, too jazzy.

Have to be some Northern Soul back flips then...

[Dr. Beaker]

Have to be some Northern Soul back flips then...

I reckon that's right up his street.

[pooley]

Great news Fats, hope things go well for you mate. As for Jazz, I love the stuff Gary Potter does, all that Django Gypsy Jazz is amazing, As for the rest I always get bored after about 15 minutes. Just watched a program from this morning on BBC i player called Blitz Cities, featuring Ricky Thommo. It was fantastic but keep the Kleenex handy, It would bring a tear to a glass eye.

[Dr. Beaker]

Great news Fats, hope things go well for you mate. As for Jazz, I love the stuff Gary Potter does, all that Django Gypsy Jazz is amazing, As for the rest I always get bored after about 15 minutes. Just watched a program from this morning on BBC i player called Blitz Cities, featuring Ricky Thommo. It was fantastic but keep the Kleenex handy, It would bring a tear to a glass eye.

Gary is a one off talent - truly a prodigy from an early age. Always at his best in the Atlantic with John Cordwell backing him on rhythm guitar, and a top bloke too. You could literally have put him on stage with Oscar Peterson, no problem.

[Fat Scouser]

Totally agree - even worse than the obligatory half-our long double bass solo.

Tryng to be smart arse, I've just got scabby eyes trying to find Danny Thompson battering the stand up on his todd. But here's all I could come up with...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNPl5bI4wq0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4mLuuCTKRA

And I know they can play a bit, Django and them jazz fellas, but most of them sound like this to me...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtvGR8UX1L0

And thanks for all the good wishes. But it'll probably be the Can-Can. And I was going to put up a bit of lip up fatty, but I could only fing Top of the Pops ones. And there's no videos from them days that doesn't have some pervert introducing them. Shame Fatty didn't Can Can on them.

[Dr. Beaker]

Look, I don't really think any of you lot on here have got any real idea of just how shit jazz actually can be, but to give you all an idea, jump straight to about 6 minutes on this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieu2viZ4B-8

[Fat Scouser]

Look, I don't really think any of you lot on here have got any real idea of just how shit jazz actually can be, but to give you all an idea, jump straight to about 6 minutes on this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieu2viZ4B-8

Watched the lot, enjoyed the introduction, funny, looked like a good night out. Then the music started... woosh. Right over my bonce.

But a mate of mine, known him forever, couple of years older than me, loved Jazz, went to Ronnie Scotts a few times. I'd go round to his house back in the 70's, and he'd be sat on the floor, smoking a joint, thinking he was a guru, ear phones on, listening to The Mahavishnu Ochestra or some such palaver. I'd soon fuck that off, and get some Brotherhood of Man on or something good on.

Funny enough though, I always wanted to go into Manhattan and watch this geezer on his clarinet nights...
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=big+noise+from+winnetka+woody+allen

And I'm not going to open the can of worms about him. Be nobody safe left to like from them days.

[Fat Scouser]

Old joke...
Woman gets stuck in the bath. Her fella calls the firebrigade and puts a bowler hat over her modesty. Fireman comes out the bathroom says to hubby... Got yer missus out, Lad. But I can't do fuck all for Acker Bilk.

[Dr. Beaker]

Watched the lot, enjoyed the introduction, funny, looked like a good night out. Then the music started... woosh. Right over my bonce.

Actually I quite liked it up until the Bass player forgot his place in the pecking order - but that's nearly always the case at them places, it usually goes on for about twenty minutes and you can sense the rest of the band thinking about a change of career (even if there was always some twat at the front nodding his head to it), but it does give you a chance to get the ale in.

I could definitely have seen meself sitting there in that audience though, in me black polo neck, medallion, and me sandals - no kecks like (it's called bohemian).

[Dr. Beaker]

Old joke...
Woman gets stuck in the bath. Her fella calls the firebrigade and puts a bowler hat over her modesty. Fireman comes out the bathroom says to hubby... Got yer missus out, Lad. But I can't do fuck all for Acker Bilk.

Did yer ever get down to that Ackerbilco place while you were in the states? I loved it when I was there. The scruffy arl part of town was brilliant. The only place abroad though were I ever got really caught out with the wildies. Usually got a cast iron gut me. The street food got me every time though.

[bigbonedrawky]

Old joke...
Woman gets stuck in the bath. Her fella calls the firebrigade and puts a bowler hat over her modesty. Fireman comes out the bathroom says to hubby... Got yer missus out, Lad. But I can't do fuck all for Acker Bilk.

I remember Chubby Brown telling that joke about George and Mildred and a Council Plumber. at the time I never got the joke... Untill a few years later when I found out who Acker Bilk was, while watching Antiques Roadshow at my Dads.
I suddenly remembered the gag and burst out laughing, whilst getting some stern disapproving
"Youth of today "kind of looks from my Dad
(who probably thought I was tripping on drugs or something   )
 

[Fat Scouser]

Ackerbilco? Where's that? Don't tell me I missed out. You're at it aren't yer.

Ackerbilco is that on the beach?
No. It's by the water, Lad.

I never could stand that Chubby Brown. Sorry Yorky mate, but I think he's a prick. Only time I found him funny... some lad I know from Manchester had a pub in the States. I was in there one day, matinee session, only a few of us bunking work, all Brits. He put a Chubby Brown tape on for them. A few Yanks walked in, about 5 of them having afternoon cocktails. They didn't have a clue what Fatty was saying. But I clocked one of them studying him, and her kipper turning blue. The disgust and carrying's on out of her, apoplexy... the funniest thing Chubby Brown ever did. 

[Dr. Beaker]

Ackerbilco? Where's that? Don't tell me I missed out. You're at it aren't yer.

Ackerbilco is that on the beach?
No. It's by the water, Lad.

I never could stand that Chubby Brown. Sorry Yorky mate, but I think he's a prick. Only time I found him funny... some lad I know from Manchester had a pub in the States. I was in there one day, matinee session, only a few of us bunking work, all Brits. He put a Chubby Brown tape on for them. A few Yanks walked in, about 5 of them having afternoon cocktails. They didn't have a clue what Fatty was saying. But I clocked one of them studying him, and her kipper turning blue. The disgust and carrying's on out of her, apoplexy... the funniest thing Chubby Brown ever did. 

It's in Mexico, I fink.

[Fat Scouser]

Ah yeah, I've got you now. But no mate. I only made it TJ as us yanks say. Shithole, couldn't wait to get out of it.

The weirdest gaff I came across was El Paso. They've got a huge fence at the end of the town, with turnstyles in it. Mexicans come over, work, all day and go back home. Well, that was the dance back then. But I'm sure that's changed.

[Fat Scouser]

Just waiting to get out, but the talk of Ackerbilco put this fella in my head...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

I know I've put him up before, but he's brilliant. Here's a cracker about life in that there neck of the woods...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieOfuEnToTc

He's Larry McMurty's lad, the fella who writes all them Westerns, Lonsome Dove and all that aul toss. Funny story... his aul fella is a mate of that John Mellencamp. He came round the house and this fella was there, lying on the floor, stoned, watching telly, eating, drinking, and writing in a book.

Mellencamp bollocked him, called him a bum, said when's he going to do something with himself. He threw the book at Mellencamp. It was the songs that made his first album, Levelland....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-D824LHti4

The full LP's a cracker. He's a good lad, an all. Saw him a few times, managed to chat with him, Star Sucker that I am.

Anyway, talking music and travelling where's John Mac? It's like Spot Wolly. He'll turn up now I said that. But I'm hoping for a good weekend for him, well, us all... off to put a double on, Jedi and LFC. Be better than Rome and Istanbull that, well, maybe not. But it'll do for me.

PS: Is that Ian McGlagan from the Faces playing keyboards?

I know he's dead, but I think that's him. Anyway, off to put that double on. I'm due a bit of luck.

[only6times]

It is McGlagan. My daughters just got me 3 cd's for my birthday of McMurtry's. Nice one for posting the links that got me into him.

This info is from Wikipedia

 In 1987 McMurtry's career entered an upswing. A friend in San Antonio suggested McMurtry enter the Kerrville Folk Festival New Folk songwriter contest; he became one of six winners that year. Also around this time John Mellencamp was starring in a film based on a script by McMurtry's father, which gave McMurtry the opportunity to get a demo tape to Mellencamp. Mellencamp subsequently served as co-producer on McMurtry's 1989 debut album, Too Long in the Wasteland. McMurtry also appeared on the soundtrack of the film Falling from Grace, working with Mellencamp, John Prine, Joe Ely, and Dwight Yoakam in a "supergroup" called Buzzin' Cousins.

[bigbonedrawky]

I never could stand that Chubby Brown. Sorry Yorky mate, but I think he's a prick. Only time I found him funny... some lad I know from Manchester had a pub in the States. I was in there one day, matinee session, only a few of us bunking work, all Brits. He put a Chubby Brown tape on for them. A few Yanks walked in, about 5 of them having afternoon cocktails. They didn't have a clue what Fatty was saying. But I clocked one of them studying him, and her kipper turning blue. The disgust and carrying's on out of her, apoplexy.. the funniest thing Chubby Brown ever did.

I'm not a big fan, but Chubby Brown and Bernard Manning were of their own time and like you point out its the reaction that often provides the humour. The shock, the embarrassment, the outrage, even the look on someone's face when they laughing  

But that gag is timeless It was been told in the Hindenburg Factory about Charlie Chaplin and his wife.

[Fat Scouser]

It is McGlagan. My daughters just got me 3 cd's for my birthday of McMurtry's. Nice one for posting the links that got me into him.

This info is from Wikipedia

 In 1987 McMurtry's career entered an upswing. A friend in San Antonio suggested McMurtry enter the Kerrville Folk Festival New Folk songwriter contest; he became one of six winners that year. Also around this time John Mellencamp was starring in a film based on a script by McMurtry's father, which gave McMurtry the opportunity to get a demo tape to Mellencamp. Mellencamp subsequently served as co-producer on McMurtry's 1989 debut album, Too Long in the Wasteland. McMurtry also appeared on the soundtrack of the film Falling from Grace, working with Mellencamp, John Prine, Joe Ely, and Dwight Yoakam in a "supergroup" called Buzzin' Cousins.

Nice one. I knew that was McGlagan. Made up I was right, it doesn't happen that often nowadays. But I thought it was you that liked him. I was going to mention it, but, errr,... where's them glasses.

I even got the name of the first album wrong, and I love that record. Bought it the moment I heard it on local radio in America. And I caught him in a gaff called Toads that night, I think. Llooks like that story about Mellencamp is bullshit though. But I do remember hearing it on the radio when he was pushing that first LP.

 Oh well, doesn't matter. Glad you like him, mate. I think he's mustard, love the little pictures he paints in the songs. I reckon he's bang on about the poor white South.

I'm not a big fan, but Chubby Brown and Bernard Manning were of their own time and like you point out its the reaction that often provides the humour. The shock, the embarrassment, the outrage, even the look on someone's face when they laughing  

But that gag is timeless It was been told in the Hindenburg Factory about Charlie Chaplin and his wife.

Weird eh... I loved Bernard Manning. I still laugh at him now. I'm sure the PC Police would want me shout. But I only have to see the fat bastard, specially in his skiddies, and I'm chuckling. And first time I heard the gag, it was John Wayne. Suppose it works for any c*nt with a hat. Oh-uh, Manning and the C word... Officer!

I had PCness, think it's just moody to keep people seperated. And I'm not a prude. But for some reason, I never did like Chubby Brown. He comes out with some funny ones, but the constant stream of it just becomes boring. Like meself.

[Maggie May]

Pix of you in a t-shirt wet with Guinness or STFU

Dream on Baby.  You Bad Bad Boy.   But cheers or the thought.  An old lady is very happy. Many Mwahs

[only6times]

Nice one. I knew that was McGlagan. Made up I was right, it doesn't happen that often nowadays. But I thought it was you that liked him. I was going to mention it, but, errr,... where's them glasses.

I even got the name of the first album wrong, and I love that record. Bought it the moment I heard it on local radio in America. And I caught him in a gaff called Toads that night, I think. Llooks like that story about Mellencamp is bullshit though. But I do remember hearing it on the radio when he was pushing that first LP.

 Oh well, doesn't matter. Glad you like him, mate. I think he's mustard, love the little pictures he paints in the songs. I reckon he's bang on about the poor white South.

Painting pictures is spot on. Never been in the places he's on about but this sums up his skill  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIwfI3k8kV0

[kopite.keith]

1hour to go, come on Jeremy, give me my vote back. Strange thing but I'd sooner a result to see Corbyn elected and a bloody good shake up than a a win for our lads at their place today.
Let's hope for both...

[Dr. Beaker]

We could do with JC up front.

[Fat Scouser]

We could do with JC up front.

And his Aul Fella in goal. But we've got Jeremy Corbyn for now, so I'm a wee bit more hopeful. Who knows, me might even sneak a win, despite our leaky defence and all their own goals.

[BSBW]

Anyone watching the Bitters? The Taffies are doing alright!

[BSBW]

I've had enough, I am the ultimate grumpy old c*nt! Here's what I've just posted on my local Aussie website:

Right then Ladies and Gents, if you want to act in a manner in what is fundamentally known as the Liverpool (Libpool) Way, it is expected that you must surely have conducted a certain amount of research and gained an acceptable level of understanding into what is funny and what is not from a Scouse perspective. Now then, based on what little I've seen so far since my arrival in Australia (Scouse whinging Pom here) I'm sorry to piss on your chips. What you're about to plan in regards to wigs and muzzies in Brisbane is from a Scouse (not just mine) perspective, completely unacceptable and is what is generically known as Wool behaviour. When I originally aired my disdain to this plan someone replied to me something along the lines of "It's only a laugh Terry", well let me tell you this ladies and gents, for those of us from Libpool, it's not. This is as close to being a wool (bad labelling from a Scouse perspective, it doesn't get much worse) as you'll ever get. I suggest that those who disagree with mine, and the majority of my fellow Scouse compatriots opinion on this matter, try and wear the same gear when (if) you ever visit my home town and club during a match day, call me arl Mr Suspicious, but I don't reckon you'd last too long on your own two feet! I've been fairly quiet since the Mighty Reds visit to Brisbane, however, as a season ticket holder for the past twenty years and regular home and away match goer for the past 42 years, I've heard some shite on my travels, but to come to Brisbane and listen to a so called Reds singing "Sit down for the 96" in the Caxton and now come up with this "Bit of a laugh" takes my breath away. Thank fuck I've got Foxtel (didn't ever thing I'd say that!). YNWA.

Am I over the top?

[Pheeny]

What's that all about Terry?

[BSBW]

What's that all about Terry?

Fuckin' Queensland Supporters Club who meet up each match in an ale house all chipping in to get wigs and muzzies (calm down, calm down shite). I suppose in the big scheme of things, it's no big thing. However, I know if I was there and it happened I probably wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut!

Her you go, Scouse night they're calling it:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1051316711546238&set=pcb.392776074264228&type=1&relevant_count=3 with the following comments:

Ok guys. This is going to be a fun night. Prize for the best costume on the night. It's a scouse theme night. Wigs , mustaches ready. Ynwa

[Pheeny]

That's a bit disrespectful

[jambutty]

Well that was a bit shit, eh?

I'll try and improve the mood with me new fave band J. Roddy Walston and The Business.  I have yet to find a tune of theirs I don't like. 

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/llpK2F0KL9k&amp;list=RDllpK2F0KL9k#t=54" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/llpK2F0KL9k&amp;list=RDllpK2F0KL9k#t=54</a>

[Maggie May]

Fucking hell Terry.  That's awful.  But whenever I think of you I think of Chelsea Away and you and me in Trafalgar Squre, when you clasped me to your manly chest and I poured a can of Special Brew down your back.  A Magical moment.

Last night at the Proms.  This German fella.  By Christ he could belt out a tune.  Nessan Drma.  Puts me in mind of one night in Scotland.  We were supposed to go to this posh do. So I'm in this scarlet spray on frock. well titted out with stunning up-do hair and Mr May in evening dress.  But its off because the drains are buggered.  So we fetch up in this pub on the side of a loch.  They had a tiny telly but a stage which had a karaoke.  So I force them to operate the gear and switch on the telly.  And its Nessan Dorma.  So I go full throttle.  Now its normally sung by a tenor than a soprano.  So when I hit Top C all the glasses explode, the locals go into shock and all the sheepdogs rush  to hide under the table.  Mr May, used to s Shenanigans, continues to read the West Highland Gazette.

Aye well.  Happy Days.

[JohnnoWhite]

Fucking hell Terry.  That's awful.  But whenever I think of you I think of Chelsea Away and you and me in Trafalgar Squre, when you clasped me to your manly chest and I poured a can of Special Brew down your back.  A Magical moment.

Last night at the Proms.  This German fella.  By Christ he could belt out a tune.  Nessan Drma.  Puts me in mind of one night in Scotland.  We were supposed to go to this posh do. So I'm in this scarlet spray on frock. well titted out with stunning up-do hair and Mr May in evening dress.  But its off because the drains are buggered.  So we fetch up in this pub on the side of a loch.  They had a tiny telly but a stage which had a karaoke.  So I force them to operate the gear and switch on the telly.  And its Nessan Dorma.  So I go full throttle.  Now its normally sung by a tenor than a soprano.  So when I hit Top C all the glasses explode, the locals go into shock and all the sheepdogs rush  to hide under the table.  Mr May, used to s Shenanigans, continues to read the West Highland Gazette.

Aye well.  Happy Days.

Would have loved to have been there Mags love.

[The Flying Pig]

Would have loved to have been there Mags love.

Wouldn't we all!

[jambutty]

Aye well.  Happy Days.

So what's this Lobster Botherer Knockout Champ about, eh?

[Maggie May]

Would have loved to have been there Mags love.

Wouldn't we all!

You would have loved it.  What stunning of fine figures of men you would have been.  I get dizzy thinkig about it.

[24/7]

Dream on Baby.  You Bad Bad Boy.   But cheers or the thought.  An old lady is very happy. Many Mwahs

[Maggie May]

So what's this Lobster Botherer Knockout Champ about, eh?

Well.  Its puts me in mind of a lobster occasion when we lived in Jersey    I was awaiting to meet Mr May in a pub after work.  Giggles at the bar when I went for anothr beer and they're only torturing a lobster with a lit ciggie in  its arse.  Well I look exception to this,  and identifind the turtorer and sparked him ouit with a right cross (which was not my Daddy's preferred punch as he preferred my straight left = but still.).   It took out several tables and chairs at the same time and gave me pause to reflect how well my Daddy taught me how to punch equally hard  with both hands.    Golden Days.

Anyway.

This is looking like the aftermath of a John Wayne salloon flight bceause for some reason everyone seem to hate eachother whern I announced that I was taking the lobster home and enquiring if anyone thought other wise and wanted if they wanted some (as the sayiing goes referring to a fucking good hiding not eating it.)  and would care to express an  opinion.  Nope.  Bú they all set upon eachother

So Mr May came into the carnage and wisely did not express an opinion.  So gathing up the lobster we all went home.

[only6times]

Priceless!!!