Topic: Louis Van Gaal was the Manager of Mourinho United

[Anywhichwayicant]

I can believe that, the Dutch are very sexually adventurous people.

[Lush is the best medicine...]

https://vine.co/v/eFAEF6JUn7t

This man is fecking hilarious

[John C]

A bit harsh that though how about
If United win i'll stay and take the piss all I like but if Liverpool win i'll stay away for a month, deal?

Soz, but on very rare occasions the odd Mod can be more knee-jerky than the average poster. So if you think you can do a deal tonight to take the piss out us after an unexpected win for you, then you're more green than the Parakeets I saw wild in Sefton Park last week mate.

Good luck taking the piss. Good bye more like 

[CraigDS]

Soz, but on very rare occasions the odd Mod can be more knee-jerky than the average poster. So if you think you can do a deal tonight to take the piss out us after an unexpected win for you, then your more green than the Parakeets I saw wild in Sefton Park last week mate.

Good luck taking the piss. Good bye more like 

Tbf to him, he was only replying to someone who tried to do my deal with him. He didn't exactly come out with it himself.

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Rooney might miss tomorrow

 

[Nessy76]

Rooney might miss tomorrow

 

Done his hamstring according to the M.E.N.

[Les Willis]

https://vine.co/v/eFAEF6JUn7t

This man is fecking hilarious

He's mad isn't he?

We could take the piss out of Moyes for ineptitude, but you can't really do the same with Van Gaal as he is too mental. 

[John C]

Tbf to him, he was only replying to someone who tried to do my deal with him. He didn't exactly come out with it himself.

It's fine Craig mate. Cantona knows, ironically, he's a good egg on here. We just don't want to be laid in to if we lose

[Andy @ Allerton!]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34225255

LOLZ



Man Utd: Louis van Gaal is a 'communicator not a dictator'

Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal says he is not a dictator after reports that many of his players were unhappy.
Some newspaper stories cited problems with training  and others blamed his public criticism of players.
Wayne Rooney and Michael Carrick told him the dressing room mood was flat.
"That was alarming because they are the captains so I went to the dressing room," said Van Gaal. "Believe me, it is like that. I am not a dictator - I am a communicator."
Van Gaal said it was "positive" that captain Rooney and vice-captain Carrick had approached him.
The Dutchman added: "They told me to help me. I communicate not only with my captains, they try to warn me.
"I then go to my dressing room and discuss with my players and we discussed a lot of aspects - but not what some have written.
"Some players are coming to me to apologise about what has been said in the papers."
'Don't ask too much of Martial'

Anthony Martial
Martial has joined United for an initial £36m
Van Gaal also spoke about the recent arrival of Anthony Martial. The 19-year-old French striker joined from Monaco in a deal that could be worth up to £58m.
"There is a market price and we cannot have any influence on that price," he said. "I said he is the best of his age and we need a striker for the future.
"I imagine the fans think, '£50m, he has to score.' No. He is 19 and he has to adapt."
Stressing the need to manage the expectations Martial will have to deal with at Old Trafford, Van Gaal highlighted the experiences of Angel Di Maria and Radamel Falcao.
Falcao scored four goals during a season-long loan spell at United last term while Di Maria was sold to Paris St-Germain at a loss just one year after joining from Real Madrid for a British record £59.7m.
"The pressure at United is much higher than at another club, so we mustn't give him too much pressure," Van Gaal added.
"You could see how Angel Di Maria and Radamel Falcao struggled. He must adapt to our culture and philosophy and that is difficult enough."
'Wilson can go to a Championship club'

Van Gaal shed more light on the futures of attacking duo Adnan Januzaj and James Wilson.
Belgium international Januzaj, 20, was sent to Borussia Dortmund on loan  in the last window, while striker Wilson, 19, appears set for a spell at a Championship club. Derby County  are one of reportedly several clubs to have shown interest in the England Under-21 international.
"I told Januzaj he would have opportunities at nine or 10, but decided it was better for him to go to a new environment, play more and see if he develops," added the Dutchman.
"I have said the same to James, but only to a Championship club, so I can call him back if one of my strikers gets injured."

[Banquo's Ghost]

It's fine Craig mate. Cantona knows, ironically, he's a good egg on here. We just don't want to be laid in to if we lose

If we lose, there's nothing Cantona will write that will remotely compare with the apocalyptic shite many of our own 'fans' will deliver in the Main Forum. This thread will look like an oasis of sanity.

And we'll still have several instances of Chopper's brilliant Van Gaal Condom Head to laugh at here.

[Phil M]

https://vine.co/v/eFAEF6JUn7t

So he says 'Van Gaal' with the G like the word 'galling' whereas I thought like Gullit etc that in dutch it was a 'h' sounding pronunciation.

[CraigDS]

If we lose, there's nothing Cantona will write that will remotely compare with the apocalyptic shite many of our own 'fans' will deliver in the Main Forum. This thread will look like an oasis of sanity.

This is worryingly spot on.

I imagine if we lose, and Im certainly not in a pessimistic mood to think we will, then I can actually see getting more sense and less hyperbole out of the United fans on here than a large portion of our own.

[Thush]

So he says 'Van Gaal' with the G like the word 'galling' whereas I thought like Gullit etc that in dutch it was a 'h' sounding pronunciation.

I noticed in the full clip, the chant he copied had the hard "G", but he spoke in the third person straight after and said it with the "h" pronounciation. I guess the chant version was just reflecting the Man U fans getting his name wrong.

[Raaphael]

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/DVhqjSqqcxM" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/DVhqjSqqcxM</a>

Hodgsonesque.

[CrasherKid79]

Memphis, Martial,Mata. Mmm

Mediocre,  Money, Madman, Manager ......

[Packalacky]

https://vine.co/v/eFAEF6JUn7t

This man is fecking hilarious

He's insane and doesn't give a fuck about the media or being media friendly, pretty much the exact opposite of BR. Think people like managers that aren't up the media's backside. Kenny and Rafa never cared much for the media and the fans loved them.

[Fiasco]

He's insane and doesn't give a fuck about the media or being media friendly, pretty much the exact opposite of BR. Think people like managers that aren't up the media's backside. Kenny and Rafa never cared much for the media and the fans loved them.

A batshit crazy Dutchman who speaks horrendous English but has quite a disdain for the media.

He's alright. Deluded, weird looking and probably has some weird fetishes, but he's alright.

[Cantona]

Busy thread here.

Comfortable and deserved victory, I was never in any doubt.

this United side scoring 3 times?? 

I told you we'd score 3.

[EstonianRed]

Busy thread here.

Comfortable and deserved victory, I was never in any doubt.
I told you we'd score 3.

For once, we all have been called into work too... at the same time

[Crosby Nick]

Busy thread here.

Comfortable and deserved victory, I was never in any doubt.
I told you we'd score 3.

Congratulations. You're a bit less shit than us at the moment!

[AndyMuller]

Busy thread here.

Comfortable and deserved victory, I was never in any doubt.
I told you we'd score 3.

You's are still shite though. Never forget.

[Raaphael]

Have to give him credit for the Liverpool quote. Would have loved that if it was the other way around from a Liverpool manager.

Kind of a lunatic, which works if things are going well. Hopefully it will end in tears for United eventually.

Agree with the notion that supporters tend to like managers who won`t kiss the media`s arse.

[killer-heels]

Every time they have been under any remote pressure, we turn up and gift them everything. Last winter they havent started well, we turn up and lose to them 3-0.

Then come the end of season last season with nearly everyone predicting we would beat them, they deservedly trounce us and despite a couple of good games, return to shite for the end of season.

Then now when the pressure is ramping on Van Gaal we turn up and they end up in 2nd and with the new Thierry Henry, supposedly.

No wonder why Van Gaal said we are his favourite club yesterday because he always beats us.

[Pradan]

Busy thread here.

Comfortable and deserved victory, I was never in any doubt.
I told you we'd score 3.

You're not very good, and well we're even worse.

The state of both teams is in fact quite sad.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Busy thread here.

Comfortable and deserved victory, I was never in any doubt.
I told you we'd score 3.

Although we looked pretty poor/average, you must have been disappointed by your teams performance - you look disjointed, out of sorts and as much as a midtable club as we look. Given your past success and expectations, surely the dross the Van Gaal is serving can't be accepted by the Manchester United fans? You're playing like Villa. Sadly, yesterday, we were playing like Runcorn (After they demolished their ground)

[Cantona]

We controlled that game from start to finish and once Blind's goal forced you to abandon the bus and come out and play I knew we'd stick 3 past you.

Do some of you seriously believe there isn't much between the two sides?
For me the difference is marked.

[Art Vandelay]

We're both fucking shite, it's just we're a little bit more shite.

[RossoBianchi]

Is that 13 out of the last 15 we've won vs Liverpool at Old Trafford? Like Cantona said, to be fair it was never in doubt from the first few minutes when Carrick and Basti quickly got a grip of the game. We had a tree up front and still won.

If I was a Liverpool supporter, I'd be less concerned with the actual result and more aggrieved at having a manager with no bollocks. We're not a great team; a good, functional one that is still evolving, but not a great one and lesser sides than Liverpool have come to Old Trafford, had a go, and got something.

[Hazell]

Is that 13 out of the last 15 we've won vs Liverpool at Old Trafford? Like Cantona said, to be fair it was never in doubt from the first few minutes when Carrick and Basti quickly got a grip of the game. We had a tree up front and still won.

If I was a Liverpool supporter, I'd be less concerned with the actual result and more aggrieved at having a manager with no bollocks. We're not a great team; a good, functional one that is still evolving, but not a great one and lesser sides than Liverpool have come to Old Trafford, had a go, and got something.

That is what a lot of people are concerned about. Yesterday was disappointing for a number of reasons and all of them of our own making, rather than all that you did, which was hardly much anyway. There were two average sides on show yesterday, one was just a little bit more shit than the other.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

We controlled that game from start to finish and once Blind's goal forced you to abandon the bus and come out and play I knew we'd stick 3 past you.

Do some of you seriously believe there isn't much between the two sides?
For me the difference is marked.

But we're talking about the Mighty Manchester United here [TM] - the Worlds BIGGEST CLUB!! (C)(R)   

We're going through a bit of a duff time, granted - but look how far you've fallen. Could you say hand on heart that you're the best club in Europe? The best club in the league?

You're not even the best club in Manchester. Chelsea, Man City, Spurs, Arsenal and one or two others are looking much better than your club. This is MANCHESTER UNITED - A club that reckons they are on-par with PSG or Barca or Real Madrid or Bayern Munich and many other clubs.

Given your expectations, you should be looking at winning the league - you've got unlimited money and a massive income and yet you're no better than Aston Villa.

That's pretty poor. And you might find unless you turn it around quickly - like us - that once it starts to slip away, it's very hard to get it back again.

You're a grinder club. You'll eke out results and you'll stumble to wins, but unless things change markedly then I can see you struggling. THE BIGGEST CLUB ON EARTH and you couldn't even field an actual striker? I mean - that's not the sign of the WORLDS BIGGEST CLUB EVER is it?

[The G in Gerrard]

We controlled that game from start to finish and once Blind's goal forced you to abandon the bus and come out and play I knew we'd stick 3 past you.

Do some of you seriously believe there isn't much between the two sides?
For me the difference is marked.

Both teams were average at best.

[Cantona]

But we're talking about the Mighty Manchester United here [TM] - the Worlds BIGGEST CLUB!! (C)(R)   

We're going through a bit of a duff time, granted - but look how far you've fallen. Could you say hand on heart that you're the best club in Europe? The best club in the league?

You're not even the best club in Manchester. Chelsea, Man City, Spurs, Arsenal and one or two others are looking much better than your club. This is MANCHESTER UNITED - A club that reckons they are on-par with PSG or Barca or Real Madrid or Bayern Munich and many other clubs.

Given your expectations, you should be looking at winning the league - you've got unlimited money and a massive income and yet you're no better than Aston Villa.

That's pretty poor. And you might find unless you turn it around quickly - like us - that once it starts to slip away, it's very hard to get it back again.

You're a grinder club. You'll eke out results and you'll stumble to wins, but unless things change markedly then I can see you struggling. THE BIGGEST CLUB ON EARTH and you couldn't even field an actual striker? I mean - that's not the sign of the WORLDS BIGGEST CLUB EVER is it?

I love it more that we comfortably beat you without an actual striker.

Don't try so hard Andy, I heard you were a better WUM than this mate.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

I love it more that we comfortably beat you without an actual striker.

Don't try so hard Andy, I heard you were a better WUM than this mate.

You beat us for the reasons that have been endlessly debated. We probably would have done you had Henderson and Sturridge and Coutinho been fit - but they weren't. We'd have been happier playing against Mr. Blobby, but he was injured for you.

BUT. Do you think you can compared yourself to any of the mega-clubs that are in Europe at the moment? Seriously? You're not playing flowing, great footy. You're trying to nick 1-0s and hope for the best. Maybe Van Gaal will change it around, but the money you have - you should be nailed on to win the league and the European Cup.

[Cantona]

You beat us for the reasons that have been endlessly debated. We probably would have done you had Henderson and Sturridge and Coutinho been fit - but they weren't. We'd have been happier playing against Mr. Blobby, but he was injured for you.

BUT. Do you think you can compared yourself to any of the mega-clubs that are in Europe at the moment? Seriously? You're not playing flowing, great footy. You're trying to nick 1-0s and hope for the best. Maybe Van Gaal will change it around, but the money you have - you should be nailed on to win the league and the European Cup.

Van Gaal's got Rodgers' number mate, he couldn't beat him even if you still had Suarez.

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

We controlled that game from start to finish and once Blind's goal forced you to abandon the bus and come out and play I knew we'd stick 3 past you.

Do some of you seriously believe there isn't much between the two sides?
For me the difference is marked.

in terms of individuals, clearly not. both teams are being managed poorly though, ours is a lot worse though

[.adam]

Do some of you seriously believe there isn't much between the two sides?
For me the difference is marked.

We were missing our three best players, you were missing Rooney up front and it's debatable he'd have made you a better side anyway.

So yeh, I don't think there is much difference you fucking beaut.

[The G in Gerrard]

This team is second at the moment albeit after 5 games. Sure sign of rapid decline in league.

[-Willo-]

Both teams line-ups last night were awful, I couldn't believe it was a Utd-Liverpool game.

There was one world class player amongst the 22, and he's a goalkeeper who was all but gone but for late paperwork. What has happened to the both of us? If you said a few years ago when you were watching Ronaldo/Torres go head to head against each other both teams would be booting a ball up to their strikers... Fellaini/Benteke we'd have hurled over.

Seriously cannot believe it still.

[cornelius]

Hopefully it will end in tears for United eventually.

Ultimately it will because they haven't yet woken up to the fact that they are never going back to the position they were once in. City and Chelsea are clearly not going to be usurped by anyone in the long term. Any success for United in the future will be much more sporadic.

That said they have made progress and are clearly better placed if and when City or Chelsea should have faltering seasons. For everything that was wrong with them in the first half yesterday they are clearly not as far away as we are.

[AndyMuller]

We controlled that game from start to finish and once Blind's goal forced you to abandon the bus and come out and play I knew we'd stick 3 past you.

Do some of you seriously believe there isn't much between the two sides?
For me the difference is marked.

You lot hardly had a shot on target until the Blind goal you whopper.