We held Joanne's funeral last Thursday. A sad day but also enjoyable as we remembered her as she would want to be remembered and not for the final 2 weeks of her life. A bif turn out at church, crem and pub where I met quite a few of her old friends, swapped stories and even looked at some photos I hadn't seen of her early life. Just got to bury the ashes, hopefully this week sometime.
Now, just got to get round to sorting the house out, the back bedroom which is Joanne's domain. Even looking for some clean bedding the other day I found some Xmas presents she had bought after last year, thinking ahead, not for me, they are women's toiletries Joanne bought in the sales.
It wil take a while to sort out all her clothes etc, but her sister will help and she can have anything she wants to keep and the rest I'll give to the local charity shop, hopefully someone wil get some benefit out of it.
Will pop down to the Lilac Centre as well this week as I need to drop of the sizeable donations we received in Joanne's memory and also to say thank you to the staff for how they looked after her for the last 4.5 years.
Support from family and friends and from people I don't even know, including posters on here has been immense and without doubt helped us through the last few years and me through the last month or so.
I still can't take it in fully, still can't get my head around not seeing that smiling face and I find night time the worst, in an empty bed, I'm just finding it hard to sleep. I'm OK when I go to sleep but it's getting to sleep that's the problem, can't stop thinking about her, times we've had over the years and then I try to think about something more mundane like work or football but it's minutes before I'm back on Joanne and still not asleep. Last time I looked at the clock last night was 1:30am which isn't good when you are up for work at 5:30am. I'm sure it will settle down eventually, just got to get myself through the next few weeks without it running me down, although I've already got a cold sore coming through this morning.
But, and it's a big but and something to hold on to, I collect our dog from Joanne's parents tonight after he's been with them since the start of the month when I first took Joanne into hospital. They aren't too kean to let him go as they love him like their own but I need him back for my own sanity and to help get back to normality but they will still see plenty of him.
Here's to the future with my happy memories and thanks to each and everyone of you for your support and kind words.