Topic: The small things in life that amuse you

[Barneylfc∗]

They're not hannoying, and they don't make you happy. They're just amusing.

Got an email today to book online appointments with my lad's teachers. If there's any issues booking the apppointments throught the site, you have to send an email to

cokane256@........

Surely to fuck someone noticed that before setting it up. It's like one of those addresses you use to order drugs off the dark web 

[Crosby Nick]

Just surprised there were another 255 C O’Kanes already using that email address.

[Elzar]

I work in healthcare, and love some of the nominative determinism you come across is amazing, but the best was a Colonoscopist called Dr Poo.

[rob1966]

When he was in Primary school, my youngest had a spelling test at school

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Quarks

[Son of Spion]

I work in healthcare, and love some of the nominative determinism you come across is amazing, but the best was a Colonoscopist called Dr Poo.

A friend of mine used to work with a Dr. De'ath. 😱

[bradders1011]

[I've been a good boy]

Always makes me laugh when we have Teams meetings at work and it seems like everyone gets along, have jokes, share stories etc but when there's calls within smaller teams, the backbiting starts and people's true colours shine with all the sly digs etc

[Claire.]

Always makes me laugh when we have Teams meetings at work and it seems like everyone gets along, have jokes, share stories etc but when there's calls within smaller teams, the backbiting starts and people's true colours shine with all the sly digs etc

sounds like you work with a lot of c*nts start dropping subtle hints that the calls are recorded...

[bradders1011]

sounds like you work with a lot of c*nts start dropping subtle hints that the calls are recorded...

For training purposes.

[I've been a good boy]

sounds like you work with a lot of c*nts start dropping subtle hints that the calls are recorded...

Yep I do, then they have the cheek to wonder why I'm so reserved. Think I might start those hints, they'd soon switch up pretty quick!

[AndyInVA]

There is the brand of clothing I see a lot called 'Salt Life' and its about people that fish at the beach and on boats etc. It is very stylized writing and not easy to read.

It always looks to me like 'slut life', and even though I know what it is, it is aways what I read.

[ChaChaMooMoo]

The instagram page of Volkswagen Italy is @volkswagenitalia

[rob1966]

The associate producer on Cheers and Frasier

[SamLad]

A friend of mine used to work with a Dr. De'ath. 😱

when I was a kid my uncle found that he had an appointment with an Indian doctor called Dr. Shit.  given that my uncle wasn't averse to the odd semi-racist joke you can imagine the comments.

[duvva 💅]

The associate producer on Cheers and Frasier

My better half has been watching Once Upon A Time on Disney the producer of the show is Brian Wankum which always makes me chuckle.
She just thinks I’m childish, not sure why

[SamLad]

My better half has been watching Once Upon A Time on Disney the producer of the show is Brian Wankum which always makes me chuckle.
She just thinks I’m childish, not sure why

women are hard to understand sometimes. 

[Alf]

When you drop your guts and the smell is that bad, even you can't stand it.

[rob1966]

When you drop your guts and the smell is that bad, even you can't stand it.

Trying to reach around to the flush without moving and letting the stink out

[SamLad]

When you drop your guts and the smell is that bad, even you can't stand it.

this is a hypothetical, right? 

[rob1966]

this is a hypothetical, right? 

When we go to Greece or Cyprus, the bog is a no go zone when I've been in of a morning, the Stifado etc and the Greek Beer make me drop some rancid ones

[rob1966]

Farts

[SamLad]

Farts

Farts on a plane, totally anonymous 

[rob1966]

One of my workmates turned up about an hour late for the start departmental meeting in Milton Keynes yesterday, but he was on the train that got into MK 30 mins before mine did. He claims that they didn't announce they were approaching MK until a minute before it got there, so he had to pack all his stuff away and then by the time he got to the doors, people were streaming on, he waited for them and as he went to get off the doors closed and locked, next stop Euston

Luckily at Euston they allowed him to board the next train back to MK without charging him anything more.

He is a bit dozy, I reckon he just missed the announcement and failed to notice the train slowing down, as we had to issues on our train.

[gazzam1963]

That story about Euston reminded me of the time me and my lad were going from Liverpool to Euston on  the virgin train years ago . We had a two seat forward and rear facing with a table right opposite what were quite big quadrant toilets .

I’d gone previously and seen that you pressed a button outside to open and then when inside you had three buttons one to open , one to close and one to lock . Halfway through the journey a woman comes to use it presses and opens and then it closes but she was obviously didn’t know about pressing to lock it .

A minute later a fella walks along and as he presses the open button the doors swing open , she’s got her drawers around her ankles and they are both horrified him franticly pressing the shut button and her mid piss realising she would have to stand up to reach over for the shut then lock button

[bradders1011]

That's why I always walk down to the rectangular lockable ones when I want to deposit some compost on the track ballast.

[rob1966]

That story about Euston reminded me of the time me and my lad were going from Liverpool to Euston on  the virgin train years ago . We had a two seat forward and rear facing with a table right opposite what were quite big quadrant toilets .

I’d gone previously and seen that you pressed a button outside to open and then when inside you had three buttons one to open , one to close and one to lock . Halfway through the journey a woman comes to use it presses and opens and then it closes but she was obviously didn’t know about pressing to lock it .

A minute later a fella walks along and as he presses the open button the doors swing open , she’s got her drawers around her ankles and they are both horrified him franticly pressing the shut button and her mid piss realising she would have to stand up to reach over for the shut then lock button

The Avanti trains are the same trains Virgin used to run, so the bogs are the same - I had to read the instructions on locking the door

[Barneylfc∗]

My 16 month old kid getting annoyed with me and grabbing my hand when I stop scratching his back 

[rob1966]

Ground DJ knocks over 7,000 out of Whamageddon

Whamageddon: DJ sorry for playing Last Christmas by Wham!

By Pete Cooper
BBC News, Northamptonshire
A football stadium DJ has apologised for playing Last Christmas by Wham!, potentially knocking more than 7,000 people out of cult game Whamageddon.

Players try to avoid George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley's 1984 hit for as long as possible before Christmas Eve and are eliminated once they hear it.

Matt Facer, DJ at Northampton Town, was criticised for playing it at the home game against Portsmouth on 2 December.

"I never knew people took it so seriously," he said.

Whamageddon started about 10 years ago, and has grown in a popularity through social media.

It now has set rules, a dedicated website and merchandise.

The game's rules state: "While we can't stop you from deliberately sending your friends to Whamhalla, the intention is that this is a survival game. Not a Battle Royale."

Mr Facer, known as DJ Matty, played the song during half-time in the League One clash at Sixfields, attended by 7,215 people.

"I gave it a spin, thinking it would be quite funny to wipe out 7,000 people who couldn't avoid it, but clearly it isn't funny," he said.

"I had a bit of an insult on Twitter, light-hearted, [saying] it was not a nice thing to do, and apparently that was quite tame to what was being said in the stadium.

"So I officially apologise to everybody whose Christmas I've ruined."

He has promised not to play the song during the home game against Fleetwood Town, to avoid upsetting fans of the Lancashire side.

He told BBC Radio Northampton: "I can take on the chin with my home fans and Portsmouth, but I don't think I'll be playing it again.

"I think it's a shame people in professions like mine can't play Wham! until [late] December, but it's a game and we all have to jump on board."

Last Christmas reached number two on its release, finally reaching the top spot on 1 January 2021.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-67659010

[Andy @ Allerton!]

You'll see streams with Americans saying Fuck this, fuck that, fucking fucking fuck. And then say 'gosh'

[Nitramdorf]

This made me smile

https://twitter.com/InbetweenerVidz/status/1733773279347835284?t=CUIOT4DQk5sAmHUMMxuLig&s=19

[bradders1011]

You'll see streams with Americans saying Fuck this, fuck that, fucking fucking fuck. And then say 'gosh'

[I've been a good boy]

Farts

Always enjoy a nice satisfying fart. Makes me feel like I'm losing weight.

[reddebs]

Fussy garden birds.

Mine get a selection of mixed seeds, peanuts, niger seeds and fat balls plus all the seed heads I leave on my plants.

Normally they're queueing up for the two tubes of mixed seeds when I refill them each morning but I had to get them from a different place last week so now they're turning their beaks up at them meaning they're still half full the day after I've filled them 😂

[bradders1011]

Radio 3's Composer of the Week is Englebert Humperdinck and it really threw me until I googled it.

We've started putting it on in the morning as we have a newborn to soothe.

[Crosby Nick]

My wife constantly getting names muddled up. That Evening with Kylie thing was on the other night and she asked if she’d been in any relationships since that one with Mick Hucknall.

[rob1966]

Radio 3's Composer of the Week is Englebert Humperdinck and it really threw me until I googled it.

We've started putting it on in the morning as we have a newborn to soothe.

Bloody hell, that's a blast from the past

[SamLad]

Bloody hell, that's a blast from the past

he's 87 now, and - I think? - is still doing some performances.

[Ziltoid]

Radio 3's Composer of the Week is Englebert Humperdinck and it really threw me until I googled it.

We've started putting it on in the morning as we have a newborn to soothe.

Parents soothing newborns after being through all that shit myself and then knowing they have another 18 years of shite.  It's a small thing in life but amuses me.   

Congrats Bradders on the newbie

[reddebs]

The wannabe hard guy driving the red ford focus on the M56 yesterday morning.

I'm overtaking in the outside lane, he's behind me trying to get in my boot, leaning forward so he's nearly touching the windscreen with both hands at the top of his steering wheel.

I pull over and give him the middle finger as he drives past so he swerves right in front of me, then into the nearside lane clearly telling me that's where I should be but then has to slam on due to the traffic and swerve back into the middle lane.

He then does exactly the same with everyone else all the way down the motorway until he was out of sight.

So funny when men with low self esteem and probably a tiny dick use their cars to be aggressive and show everyone what a big guy they are 😂