Author Topic: Bottom: Post Your Funnies Here (Read 6189 times)

Art Vandelay · « **Reply #40 on:** January 27, 2007, 11:26:06 am »

Eddie: My Uncle Percy was in the trenches of the first world war. You know what he used to say?
Richie: What?
Eddie: AAAH! Bloody hell! Germans! Thousands of 'em! AAAAH!

Richie: You know mate, if we ever get through to the other side of this one, if we ever get back to Blighty, I'm really gonna change the way I live... find a piece of land, find a beautiful woman, hell, maybe even raise a few kids
Eddie: Aaaah quit dream'n skip, we're never going to pull through to the other side of this one
Richie: No you've got to dreeeeam Eddie. You've got to hold on to the dreeeeeam!
Eddie: Can I ask you a question?
Richie: Shoot from the hip Eddie, that's always been your style.
Eddie: WHY ARE WE TALKING SUCH COMPLETE AND UTTER BOLLOCKS?

Ferg · « **Reply #41 on:** January 27, 2007, 12:14:01 pm »

Richie: How you doing,Eddie?
Eddie: (Eating the contents of Mr Rottweilers fridge) Very nicely,Thankyou very much.

Conchis · « **Reply #42 on:** January 27, 2007, 12:55:21 pm »

Eddie: Err right. "Ironmonger", six letters. Oh, got it! "Harold".
Richie: "Harold"?
Eddie: Yeah, well he's an ironmonger, isn't he? Harold the Ironmonger, remember? We ate his dog!
Richie: Oh right, we won that bet, didn't we!
Eddie: No we didn't, that's why we had to eat his dog.

--------------------------------

Woman: Which one of you is Mr Hitler
Eddie: That would be me.
Women: Ooh, any relation?
Eddie: Well... I've got a mother.
Women: No, no, I meant to Adolf Hitler.
Eddie: Yes that's her.

--------------------------------

Natasha: This is a very nice room, I bet you've been naughty in here a few times.
Richie: Oh you're not wrong there. You name it - swearing, doodling on the walls. I've flicked the 'v's out of that window more times than I care to remember.

Roberts LFC · « **Reply #43 on:** January 27, 2007, 12:55:22 pm »

Spudgun and Eddie sitting on the wall on the Halloween Episode after Richie has just shat himself again;

Spudgun: You See Eddie, what I want to know is?

Eddie: Yeah

Spudgun: Why when you say Trick or Treat?

Eddie: Yeah

Spudgun: He has to foul himself?

Eddie: Well I think it may be a deep subconsious desire to amuse

Damo58 · « **Reply #44 on:** January 27, 2007, 01:45:18 pm »

Richie: Oh dear, whoops-a-daisy, here, he comes, dear oh dear oh
dear. Look at that Neanderthal gait! Probably only learned to
walk upright this morning. Hanging's too good for you,
buster! Huh, I'm surprised he manages to mug old ladies with
his knuckles scraping along the pavement like that! [gorilla
impression] Ooh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh-hello, hello, b-b-
bll-b-b-bll-ll, me respectable citizen! Ugh, it's making my
flesh creep, you vile scum!
Man: Do you mind?
Richie: Ooh, it talks! It talks! What are you gonna do next, go on a
quest for fire?
Man: Good afternoon everyone, I am Chief Inspector Grobbelaar.
Richie: [gorilla voice] Oh, I'm Chief Inspector Grob-- Oh.

iwasthere · « **Reply #45 on:** January 27, 2007, 06:27:54 pm »

Quote from: Barney_Rubble on January 26, 2007, 02:38:02 pm

The dating agency...

Pure gold that, it's the one episode I remember most. Doesn't he try to make her a posh dinner and offers her Polo's in a bowl. Don't know why I remember that bit?

Buck Pete · « **Reply #46 on:** January 27, 2007, 06:52:51 pm »

The one i liked was when Richie and Eddie decided to play chess.

Eddie had sold most of Richies antique chess set so they had to play with houshold items like salt and pepper pots,sauce bottles and big fuck off plastic spiderman toy.

In that epsidoe Eddie invented a wicked Pernod based drink called the 'Esther Ranzen'. Richie asked "why do you call it the Ester Ranzen?"

Eddie: Because it pulls lips over your lips over your teeth!!

They both took a swig and looked at the camera doing Esther Ranzen faces.

fudge · « **Reply #47 on:** January 27, 2007, 07:05:13 pm »

fucking loved it.

"You ignorant English wankaaaaa!!!!"

"Cannonball" Taffy O'Jones

David Sanction · « **Reply #48 on:** January 27, 2007, 07:46:02 pm »

richie: eddie, what on earth are you eating?

eddie: lard.

Jimmy Conway · « **Reply #49 on:** January 27, 2007, 10:18:34 pm »

Welcome to Eddie's bar!

Art Vandelay · « **Reply #50 on:** January 27, 2007, 10:41:06 pm »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRa1W-BgufU

"Hello Penn.....Fancy a fuck?"

morestellata · « **Reply #51 on:** January 27, 2007, 11:52:21 pm »

christhekopite69 · « **Reply #52 on:** January 28, 2007, 09:55:38 pm »

when richie and eddie burst in dressed as a devil and a banana always cracks me up!

so too does eddies exploding carrots!

christhekopite69 · « **Reply #53 on:** January 28, 2007, 09:58:10 pm »

Quote from: Buck Pete on January 27, 2007, 06:52:51 pm

The one i liked was when Richie and Eddie decided to play chess.

Eddie had sold most of Richies antique chess set so they had to play with houshold items like salt and pepper pots,sauce bottles and big fuck off plastic spiderman toy.

In that epsidoe Eddie invented a wicked Pernod based drink called the 'Esther Ranzen'. Richie asked "why do you call it the Ester Ranzen?"

Eddie: Because it pulls lips over your lips over your teeth!!

They both took a swig and looked at the camera doing Esther Ranzen faces.

the esther rantzen's piss funny

richie: "yeah and put a bit of salt around the rim"
eddie: "...........i'll just put a bit of salt round the age of the glass if thats all the same with you"

Marcus6 · « **Reply #54 on:** January 29, 2007, 01:25:26 pm »

I bring good news and bad. There's a yoghurt, but if you want to eat it you'll have to shave it first. There's also a sausage, but it already appears to have been digested...twice!

fudge · « **Reply #55 on:** January 29, 2007, 03:20:33 pm »

Quote from: christhekopite69 on January 28, 2007, 09:55:38 pm

when richie and eddie burst in dressed as a devil and a banana always cracks me up!

so too does eddies exploding carrots!

with the electric cattleprod and richies selection of tights

jarg of pickled onions · « **Reply #56 on:** January 29, 2007, 10:33:48 pm »

Richie attempting to film his own version of Kilroy. This fall shits all over Del Boy's!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmJCoUw8gQw

Terry de Niro · « **Reply #57 on:** January 30, 2007, 10:51:53 am »

Smells.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loRFl5cDZdY

smithng · « **Reply #58 on:** January 30, 2007, 01:23:18 pm »

Quote from: Terry De Niro on January 30, 2007, 10:51:53 am

Smells.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loRFl5cDZdY

Richie: Let's just be economical with the truth, errrm, something, buck, yeah hot young buck.
Eddie: What about badger?
Richie: No, no I'm more a sort of...
Eddie: HEDGEHOG!
Richie: No fox! That's good, no that is good.
Eddie: Stoat!
Richie: Foxy Stoat? Yeah! It's gotta a ring to it... foxy stoat seeks...
Eddie: Pig!
Richie: Foxy Stoat Seeks Pig! Oh Shut up Eddie!

Terry de Niro · « **Reply #59 on:** January 30, 2007, 01:31:06 pm »

Eddie: [to Richie] How's your sausage?
Richie: [looking surprised] 's A bit personal, isn't it? Oh, I see, you mean my *sausage*!
[points at frying pan]
Eddie: Yes?
Richie: You're asking me about my sausage?
Eddie: Sausage, yes?
Richie: Not my penis?
Eddie: [astonished] No!
Richie: Oh, thank heavens for that! Well, what can I tell you, Eddie, it's an absolute disaster! I just can't get the hang of this cooking lark! I mean, you put the sausage in the pan, you set it on fire, and what happens? It gets incinerated!
Eddie: Well, maybe we should eat our flakes?
[Richie looks disgusted]
Eddie: [Eddie holds up a box of cornflakes]
Richie: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I see what you mean, yes! I think I'm getting "double entendre disease"!
Eddie: Can I drink your juice?
Richie: [looking revolted, then realizing] Oh! Oh, yes! Yes, of course, go ahead! I think I'm going mad this morning!
[knocking on the front door]
Eddie: Someone's giving our knocker a damn good banging! I'd better go see who it is!
Richie: Righty 'o! I'll grab a hold of my sausage and give it a good seeing-to!

Tuesday · « **Reply #60 on:** January 30, 2007, 02:51:14 pm »

Quote from: Art Vandelay on January 26, 2007, 07:17:57 pm

Richie: How about "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?
Eddie: We haven't got a donkey.
Richie: "Pin the Tail on the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a tail.
Richie: "Pin the Sausage on the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a pin.
Richie: (Annoyed) "Sellotape the Sausage to the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a chicken!
Richie: (Angrier) "Sellotape the Sausage to the Fridge"!?
Eddie: WE HAVEN'T GOT A SAUSAGE!
Richie: "PUT A BIT OF SELLOTAPE ON THE FRIDGE"!!!?
Eddie: Not much of a game, is it?

hahaha

Cleary · « **Reply #61 on:** January 30, 2007, 03:41:51 pm »

Quote from: Art Vandelay on January 26, 2007, 07:17:57 pm

Richie: How about "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?
Eddie: We haven't got a donkey.
Richie: "Pin the Tail on the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a tail.
Richie: "Pin the Sausage on the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a pin.
Richie: (Annoyed) "Sellotape the Sausage to the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a chicken!
Richie: (Angrier) "Sellotape the Sausage to the Fridge"!?
Eddie: WE HAVEN'T GOT A SAUSAGE!
Richie: "PUT A BIT OF SELLOTAPE ON THE FRIDGE"!!!?
Eddie: Not much of a game, is it?

Best scene from bottom

And from the first ever episode

"What are you eating Eddie?"

"Lard! im hungry, but im too drunk to cook"

And from the movie. "can I ask were your eggs come from?"
"hens vaginas"

Damo58 · « **Reply #62 on:** January 30, 2007, 07:04:39 pm »

Sad old git section!

christhekopite69 · « **Reply #63 on:** January 30, 2007, 08:55:44 pm »

"ah ah ah ah ah..............my name is not eddie.......my name...is deidre barlow'

christhekopite69 · « **Reply #64 on:** January 30, 2007, 09:01:27 pm »

Quote from: fudge on January 29, 2007, 03:20:33 pm

with the electric cattleprod and richies selection of tights

devil kid:"trick or treat mister"
eddie: "what?i cannot speak child"
other devil kid:"he meant give us some sweets ya bald headed bastard"

richie: "hows the homebrew comin along"
eddie: "hard to tell but its takin to enamel off the bath............so it must be nearly ready"

the dodgy clocks funny too in its own little way (when it strikes on the hour)

Roberts LFC · « **Reply #65 on:** January 31, 2007, 02:44:00 pm »

Dating Agency Woman:Which One of You Is Mr.Hitler
Eddie:That'll be Me
Dating Agency Woman:Any Relation
Eddie:(Pauses) Well Ive Got A Mother
Dating Agency Woman: I Meant Adolf Hitler
Eddie: Thats Her!

Hank Scorpio · « **Reply #66 on:** February 1, 2007, 10:44:55 am »

Quote from: Barney_Rubble on January 25, 2007, 09:55:24 pm

The one where they spend the whole episode in a swinging car at the top of a ferris wheel is amazing.

And the one with Robert Llewellyn where Rik bullshits that he was in the Falklands. Involving a dead-cert bet, Llewellyn's wooden leg, and a pawn shop.

Those two episodes are my favorite ones too.

Also the one where they all fart fire and they think Hedgehog's daughter is the Devil.

PaulF · « **Reply #67 on:** February 1, 2007, 09:52:37 pm »

Quote from: Ferg on January 25, 2007, 10:54:25 pm

The Bottom live shows were class too. Funny when they used to fuck thier lines up and there was one time where Richie really got smacked in the face.
Ain't seen them for a while. (Goes to dig out old VCR from the loft....)

Fucking hell, it's a line from the play.......

Haar-monica , doodley oop.

Damo58 · « **Reply #68 on:** February 2, 2007, 01:18:48 am »

Ritchie: Oh, will you stop wibbling on, like some kind of girl who's trying to have a period!

FTW · « **Reply #69 on:** February 3, 2007, 09:14:52 pm »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZJrdtqKkI0

Via this link you can get loads of other Bottom episodes under the "related videos" list on the right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjCLHlAbhZA

fintanm · « **Reply #70 on:** November 7, 2007, 10:12:15 pm »

Quote from: FTW on February 3, 2007, 09:14:52 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZJrdtqKkI0

Via this link you can get loads of other Bottom episodes under the "related videos" list on the right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjCLHlAbhZA

The Gas Man Episode is on DAVE now

Classic

GinKop · « **Reply #71 on:** November 7, 2007, 10:50:45 pm »

Quote from: Art Vandelay on January 26, 2007, 07:17:57 pm

Richie: How about "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?
Eddie: We haven't got a donkey.
Richie: "Pin the Tail on the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a tail.
Richie: "Pin the Sausage on the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a pin.
Richie: (Annoyed) "Sellotape the Sausage to the Chicken"?
Eddie: We haven't got a chicken!
Richie: (Angrier) "Sellotape the Sausage to the Fridge"!?
Eddie: WE HAVEN'T GOT A SAUSAGE!
Richie: "PUT A BIT OF SELLOTAPE ON THE FRIDGE"!!!?
Eddie: Not much of a game, is it?

Classic!

And who remembers Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog in that Christmas episode?

The one where he breaks his legs is good as well.

fudge · « **Reply #72 on:** November 8, 2007, 11:03:47 pm »

Quote from: fintanm on November 7, 2007, 10:12:15 pm

The Gas Man Episode is on DAVE now

Classic

"GAS MAN GAS MAN!!!!!!!!!!"

Buck Pete · « **Reply #73 on:** April 2, 2024, 12:15:42 am »

Just watched the first 2 episodes of S1 on UK Gold. God, I miss the long-lost genre of ultra-violent slapstick comedy.

I honestly think it's even funnier now than when I watched it the first time around all them years ago. Not sure why, but I don't remember laughing at it so much in the 90's

Crying at that Gasman episode. Didn't think Eddie was ever gonna stop hitting the gasman with that frying pan

. It's also the one with Brian Glover as their very angry neighbor.

Gonna watch them all over the next few weeks.

duvva 💅 · « **Reply #74 on:** April 2, 2024, 12:38:49 am »

Quote from: Buck Pete on April 2, 2024, 12:15:42 am

Just watched the first 2 episodes of S1 on UK Gold. God, I miss the long-lost genre of ultra-violent slapstick comedy.

I honestly think it's even funnier now than when I watched it the first time around all them years ago. Not sure why, but I don't remember laughing at it so much in the 90's

Crying at that Gasman episode. Didn't think Eddie was ever gonna stop hitting the gasman with that frying pan . It's also the one with Brian Glover as their very angry neighbor.

Gonna watch them all over the next few weeks.

Don’t think there’s a bad episode across the 3 series. Such an absolute shame Rik is no longer with us.

Buck Pete · « **Reply #75 on:** April 2, 2024, 09:06:27 am »

Quote from: duvva 💅 on April 2, 2024, 12:38:49 am

Don’t think there’s a bad episode across the 3 series. Such an absolute shame Rik is no longer with us.

Spot on about Rik.

Was watching him closely last night. He leaves nothing behind on set.

As an idiot 21 year old at the time I never really appreciated just what an amazing screen presence Rik had. Gonna savour every episode on this rewatch.

The seedy look of lust on Rik’s face when he gets to give the Gasman CPR (ie finally gets to snog someone)

Nitramdorf · « **Reply #76 on:** April 2, 2024, 11:56:28 am »

Theres a making of on Gold soon as well. Cant quite remember the title but saw an ad for it last night with Ade.

It's on soon.

It's called Bottom:Exposed, cant find out when it's on as yet.

Boston Bosox · « **Reply #77 on:** April 2, 2024, 12:04:22 pm »

Quote from: Nitramdorf on April 2, 2024, 11:56:28 am

Theres a making of on Gold soon as well. Cant quite remember the title but saw an ad for it last night with Ade.

It's on soon.

It's called Bottom:Exposed, cant find out when it's on as yet.

Bottom Exposed

https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/news/7758/bottom-documentary-on-gold/

GinKop · « **Reply #78 on:** April 2, 2024, 02:46:05 pm »

I end up rewatching this every 5 years or so (same with The Office) and no matter how many times I see it, it's still just as great as the first time.

I was about 12 when I first watched it so loved the comedy slapstick violence but didn't get all the jokes. Has been great to rewatch it as an adult.

Buck Pete · « **Reply #79 on:** April 2, 2024, 04:32:13 pm »

Quote from: GinKop on April 2, 2024, 02:46:05 pm

I end up rewatching this every 5 years or so (same with The Office) and no matter how many times I see it, it's still just as great as the first time.

I was about 12 when I first watched it so loved the comedy slapstick violence but didn't get all the jokes. Has been great to rewatch it as an adult.

Some of the gags, especially from Eddie are quite subtle and I'm only getting them more now.

I will never tire of hearing Rik talk to Eddie like a child

"Edward Hitler young man, you just sit down right now!"

Usually results in a cricket bat connecting with Rik's head