Topic: The Parent thread

[Doc Red]

A few days ago, the most amazing, incredible event occured in my life. I became a father for the first time. One day I'm heading to the hospitol with my wife, and the next thing I know I'm heading home with a miniature human in tow. And just like that, everything that was once normal in my life has now completely been flipped around by a beautiful, innocent, child, and I wouldn't have it any other way  .
I tried searching for another thread that discussed parenthood, or raising children etc, and there doesn't seem to be any (though I did find a "worst thing about having children" thread ). It would be really beneficial, and especially interesting, if we had a thread in which members could provide advice, or techniques, that they found helpful when they were first parents. Or maybe, what were the challenges that you faced (and maybe weren't prepared for), and how did you cope.

Our day has already been broken up into 2-3 hour shifts defined by feeding time, diaper change, and keeping junior company. And since I've pretty much been assigned the role of Official Diaper Changer, I've already managed to get peed on, pooped on, sneezed on, and farted on. And yes, I haven't even completed the first week.

Additionally, feel free to share any positive, or fun story that you may have concerning  your children, or your attempts at parenthood.

I'm all ears

[Crimson_Tank]

Congrats mate! Kids are loads of fun!

Proud Pop of two lads, one 5 years the other nearly 7 months.

On the diaper changing situation. Avoid changing the baby in a cool room, the sudden cool air on the  previously covered skin sometimes makes them pee. Keep a hand ready to cover the spouting urine. Or invest in a pee cup. You can also cover the privates with a washcloth before you put a new diaper on to avoid needing to change your and the baby's clothes. Eventually you will get a rythm down and it will be cake!

Welcome to fatherhood!

[Doc Red]

Congrats mate! Kids are loads of fun!

Proud Pop of two lads, one 5 years the other nearly 7 months.

On the diaper changing situation. Avoid changing the baby in a cool room, the sudden cool air on the  previously covered skin sometimes makes them pee. Keep a hand ready to cover the spouting urine. Or invest in a pee cup. You can also cover the privates with a washcloth before you put a new diaper on to avoid needing to change your and the baby's clothes. Eventually you will get a rythm down and it will be cake!

Welcome to fatherhood!

Cheers!
 I never thought the cool air would make them pee. Suddenly, the pee mishaps make a lot of sense!
I'll be using your advice the next time I'm-a-changing him. Thanks in advance.

Was there any major differences between your two boys when they were the same age? Obviously, each child has their own personality, but does their character begin to show during the early weeks, or much further down the line?

And congratulations on your tag-team of boys

[Crimson_Tank]

There were some differences that became apparent quickly, the have their own sleep habits/preferences, they were quite similar in many ways but of course there are/were many differences between them. As time progresses and the youngest gets older he continues to come into his own as a person but he also has been trying to be like his brother.

[J-Mc-]

Got our first born due in just under 7 weeks and as prepared as you think you are, you always have that niggling feeling that you’re going to miss something, or forget to take something the hospital, or forget to do something around the house before the baby is on the way home.

So thought I’d make this thread in the hope that people can offer advice on things that midwives may not always tell you and your partner, what to take the hospital, experiences of bringing the baby home, how you can help each other settle in with this new little human living with you ect.

I’m ready to rip my hair out (what little is left!) with the stress that it’s bringing so far, but it’ll all be worth it in the end.

Apologies if there’s another thread like this, didn’t find one in a search.

[ScottishKopite]

Cheers mate!

I will be experience this in April.

[CaseRed]

Sleep as much as possible now. Then again in 18 years.

[rob1966]

If the Missus isn't breastfeeding, take some Aptamil 1 formula pre made bottles with you to the hospital, just in case they don't provide food, we got caught out by this with our second, I was scrabbling around Salford at 9pm on a Sunday hunting for food.

Do not put the baby in bed with you when feeding during the night, it's so easy to fall asleep and roll on them. I started feeding the first in bed, finished his bottle, next thing I know was I woke up 3 hours later, shit myself but luckily he was on top of the covers. Never did it again.

This is personal choice, but we never gave ours dummies. Kids don't need them and we never went through the chaos of not being able to find them, or weaning them off them, that other parents do.

Take millions of photos.

Enjoy it, don't stress, it's ace being a Dad.

[CaseRed]

All the above is great advice.

My wife packed up a snack bag to help keep her going through labour. She went through about 3 bags of Haribo tangfastics with both of ours!

Dont forget to eat yourself so you dont pass out as you need to be able to back your partner up and advocate for her if needed. Listen to the docs etc but dont be afraid to question if things dont feel right. Both our kids had challenging births + 30 hours and emergency c section then forceps delivery on the 2nd so make sure to speak up for your partner when needed, especially if she is out of it on drugs! Also, have a go on the gas and air! Brilliant stuff!

In terms of getting them home, practice putting your car seat in your car a few times. Can be tricky till you get the hang of it! The drive home will be the most careful drive you have ever done.

Like the post before, dont stress and get stuck in to all of it.

Good luck to you both.

[rob1966]

One from Kesey

That's just reminded me of the time when my daughters Mum went into labour. I text everyone then my cousin texts back saying at the birth make sure you stand in the Kop and not the Anny Road.

 

[Trump's tiny tiny hands]

Further to the above about Aptamil 1 formula milk, whether or not you do plan to breastfeed take some. With our first, they wouldn't latch. Luckily, our hospital had some formula but I had to go get some more.

Whatever you birth plan, prepare to have that quickly thrown out the window because all manner of things can happen when it is go time. Our first was a marathon, with our second the nurse was lucky to catch them 

Like the others say, try not to stress you'll be surprised by how much comes naturally/instinctively to you and the child.

[reddebs]

Have a rocking chair in the nursery for night feeds.

Trust your instincts not a manual and try to have a proper routine for you all, not just baby.

Have fun and enjoy the experience, they're not as fragile or breakable as they seem if you're normal parents 

Oh and those crazy hormones mum has been experiencing don't disappear overnight so tread carefully 😂

[Crosby Nick]

Yeah, good luck.

You’ll be great. You’ll probably stress over lots of things but that’s just normal. You’ll have a second and realise that actually having one wasn’t so tricky.

Ultimately babies cry a lot. And nearly all the time it’s absolutely fine. You just have to work out if they’re hungry, cold, hot etc. But don’t be alarmed when they scream the house down.

I remember feeling a bit useless and out of my depth in the first couple of weeks. But I just tried to make myself as useful as I could for the wife and make sure she was ok. It gets easier as you go along.

All in all, enjoy it though. I’ve made that sound like it was completely traumatic and that’s not the case at all. You’ll smash it.

[Lee1-6Liv]

When our daughter was born I used to go to work an hour earlier so I could get a quick kip in.

[J-Mc-]

Cheers for the advice everyone, missus is trying breastfeeding, we never thought about what if the baby doesn’t latch ect, so will definately be picking up some Aptomil

Definately exciting times ahead, just want to be as a prepared as possible, I know things can and will go wrong somewhere down the line, it’s life, but a bit of foresight doesn’t hurt!

[Jono69]

Good luck and enjoy it as they soon grow up . Ours is 11 now and it only seems like yesterday that we went to the LGI in leeds for the birth

Our daughter shot out as fast as being served a sausage roll in Greggs but that's when the fun started as they couldn't get the placenta out and had to take her down for surgery while i was literally left holding the baby 

[gazzam1963]

Got to say after having two sons years ago (21 and 25 now ) I found the first few months a doddle to the first few months of the cockapoo puppy we bought three years ago 😀

[AndyInVA]

Excited for you mate. First six months are really hard and its just a big blur as you get through the sleep deprived days.

[MrGrumpy]

Congratulations on becoming a parent, my advice for parents of newborns is below.

1, When the baby wants to sleep, put them in a room with the curtains drawn. It helps get the baby used to sleeping at night.

2, Ringo Stars voice is very soothing for little ones. Thomas The Tank Engine or any Beatles song that Ringo sings will help calm them.

3, Buy three of their favourite soft toy. These things get vomed on and lost.

4, Invest in good coffee.

[rob1966]

Congratulations on becoming a parent, my advice for parents of newborns is below.

1, When the baby wants to sleep, put them in a room with the curtains drawn. It helps get the baby used to sleeping at night.

2, Ringo Stars voice is very soothing for little ones. Thomas The Tank Engine or any Beatles song that Ringo sings will help calm them.

3, Buy three of their favourite soft toy. These things get vomed on and lost.

4, Invest in good coffee.

That was why I banned my missus from giving our youngest a soft toy, after I left the eldests one in a taxi in Lanzarote and he wouldn't sleep until we got him another. Because it wasn't teddy, he still kicked off, went on about it for days. Then there were the nights when he couldn't find teddy and wouldn't go to sleep or would wake up and kick off if it wasn't next to him.

[Spanish Al]

Cheers mate!

I will be experience this in April.

Same here, wife is due 6th April.

Can’t fucking wait!

[MrGrumpy]

That was why I banned my missus from giving our youngest a soft toy, after I left the eldests one in a taxi in Lanzarote and he wouldn't sleep until we got him another. Because it wasn't teddy, he still kicked off, went on about it for days. Then there were the nights when he couldn't find teddy and wouldn't go to sleep or would wake up and kick off if it wasn't next to him.

My daughter fell in love with the Jellycat Bashful Bunny. Thankfully, John Lewis sells them for £15 a pop.

[Crosby Nick]

My daughter fell in love with the Jellycat Bashful Bunny. Thankfully, John Lewis sells them for £15 a pop.

We had some jellycat dog. Misplaced it, ordered about 3 spares which he rejected because they were pristine and the original was manky. Luckily found it. He still sleeps with it aged 13.

[rob1966]

We had some jellycat dog. Misplaced it, ordered about 3 spares which he rejected because they were pristine and the original was manky. Luckily found it. He still sleeps with it aged 13.

My eldest was still sleeping with teddy until he was 11, the youngest ripped the piss out of him for it.

[amir87]

We had some jellycat dog. Misplaced it, ordered about 3 spares which he rejected because they were pristine and the original was manky. Luckily found it. He still sleeps with it aged 13.

Like father, like son.

[Crosby Nick]

It helps me sleep, alright? What’s your problem?

[FlashingBlade]

The best advice we got is your baby is the priority...not visiting friends and family when they fancy..your baby needs routine...all visits around baby routine sleeping/eating/shitting...first two weeks crucial.

other advice is ignore advice...there's too much and not always applicable to you...you will learn your way

[J-Mc-]

Car seat and pram came today, nursery is very close to being finished.

She’s 37 weeks on Tuesday, baby was breach at the last scan so we’re hoping they turn soon otherwise we’re going to have to look into an ECV (missus doesn’t want a c-section.)

Excited, nervous but can’t wait.

I’m a worrier, I’m more worried about my missus that I am about the baby at the minute, even though I know she’ll be in really good hands in the womens.

[Devon Red]

Excited for you mate. First six months are really hard and its just a big blur as you get through the sleep deprived days.

Having just been through it I agree, the first 6 months are tough. I wish more people had been honest with us about that, I found there is a kind of odd veil of secrecy over some of this stuff. It would have been easier if people had just said "honestly, it's shit, but you will get through it and it gets better".

[rob1966]

Car seat and pram came today, nursery is very close to being finished.

She’s 37 weeks on Tuesday, baby was breach at the last scan so we’re hoping they turn soon otherwise we’re going to have to look into an ECV (missus doesn’t want a c-section.)

Excited, nervous but can’t wait.

I’m a worrier, I’m more worried about my missus that I am about the baby at the minute, even though I know she’ll be in really good hands in the womens.

Hopefully the little one flips over when they feel like it. As for the last bit, I was the same as you, I was fine with the babies, I was more worried about how the wife would be.

I'll admit I was scared after the birth and I'm cleaning the little one in the bathroom, walks back into the delivery room and they have dropped the end of the bed so my wife is sort of sat up and the doctor is stitching my wife up where she had torn and I can just see what looked like a waterfall of blood on the sheet. Doctor was acting like it was totally normal.

[west_london_red]

Having just been through it I agree, the first 6 months are tough. I wish more people had been honest with us about that, I found there is a kind of odd veil of secrecy over some of this stuff. It would have been easier if people had just said "honestly, it's shit, but you will get through it and it gets better".

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and in all honesty without sugar coating it, it doesn’t get easier or harder, the challenges just change.

[reddebs]

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and in all honesty without sugar coating it, it doesn’t get easier or harder, the challenges just change.

I have a 36 and 34 year old and I concur 👍

[Crosby Nick]

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and in all honesty without sugar coating it, it doesn’t get easier or harder, the challenges just change.

13 and 10 and they honestly had me on the verge of tears of frustration yesterday.

All the best J-Mc!

[red1977]

At the time its hard work getting up 3 times a night, but looking back now pacing round the living room rocking the little one to sleep and singing to them was a precious time, they really are exhausting, but the love you feel for them is overwhelming which powers you through. One tip from me, white noise. couldn't believe it when we first tried it, went out like a light after 20 seconds. Some say it mimics the sound of being in the womb, still put it on now and he's nearly 6. I play wind and rain sounds from youtube.

[dalarr]

Congrats to everyone in here expecting. Becoming a father was the hardest, most shocking and most rewarding thing that has ever happened to me. Didn’t there use to be a “becoming a father…” thread in here? It disappeared right as my first daughter was born. I had to deal with becoming a father without precious insight from RAWK. God knows how I managed to survive.

I try not to give tips to first time parents because having a child is an individual experience. Some kids sleep from the minute they are born while others never really do. My neighbor has two kids who have both slept from the second they were laid in the crib/bed, while my wife and I didn’t have regular sleep for almost five years. Only thing I can say is the same as the others in here: cherish every moment. That’s not easy to do when you are reading a Peppa Pig book at 4.50AM but those very moments are the important ones. I wish you all the best.

[Big Swifty]

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and in all honesty without sugar coating it, it doesn’t get easier or harder, the challenges just change.

I half agree. The challenges change in that they become more complex, as their needs and psychology become more so. Equally, as their lives and activities become more diverse and complicated, so can the logistics. And now my eldest is in pre-teen mode, there is increased moodiness and all of that kind of stuff,

But when they stop needing your attention every second of the day, and you don't even have to get up with them in the morning, that does make a big difference.

[rob1966]

I half agree. The challenges change in that they become more complex, as their needs and psychology become more so. Equally, as their lives and activities become more diverse and complicated, so can the logistics. And now my eldest is in pre-teen mode, there is increased moodiness and all of that kind of stuff,

But when they stop needing your attention every second of the day, and you don't even have to get up with them in the morning, that does make a big difference.

We're at that stage now and its brilliant. We met when I was almost 40 and she was 37, so with wanting kids, we went from dating to engaged to married to her being pregnant in 11 months, so we never really had time for just us. Now that ours are 11 and 13, we can go out for a local meal, nip the pub, go for walks and they are fine at home, eldest even cooks his own meals at times.

Still miss them being little and cuddly though

[AndyInVA]

Either parent thread or annoy thread

ex spouses who behave like dicks

my wifes ex husband who refused to hand over the kids when he was supposed to as school was cancelled due to snow so he feels he gets them for an extra day. The stress it causes my wife is unreal and I am the one in the house who is with the massively stressed out person. He is 2 hours away and when he decided he was going to keep them we had already left. Such a total pain in the arse dealing with some fuckwit who doesnt put the kids first and gets happy from still pissing off his wife years later.

[J-Mc-]

Got some good news today.

Had a midwife appointment yesterday (haven’t missed one yet for the missus’ sake!) and they thought the baby was sideways. Since the missus is 37 weeks yesterday, we started to panic a bit incase she’d have to go for the ECV or a C-section.

Midwife booked us in for a presentation scan at 12 today, went, midwife in the hospital had a feel and thought the baby was sideways as well.

Soon as the scan came up she realised that she’d been feeling the babies shoulder and they’re in the right position for a natural birth, given how far down they are, the doctor and midwife both agreed that although it can happen, it’s unlikely they’ll be able to move their head out so (touch wood…what got us into this in the first place though!) everything is going fine and we may have a very healthy, growing baby in the next week or two!

[Barneylfc∗]

Either parent thread or annoy thread

ex spouses who behave like dicks

my wifes ex husband who refused to hand over the kids when he was supposed to as school was cancelled due to snow so he feels he gets them for an extra day. The stress it causes my wife is unreal and I am the one in the house who is with the massively stressed out person. He is 2 hours away and when he decided he was going to keep them we had already left. Such a total pain in the arse dealing with some fuckwit who doesnt put the kids first and gets happy from still pissing off his wife years later.

That's a disgrace that a dad wants to spend an extra day with his kids when they're not at school. What is the world coming to