I was covering a U8 team I haven't worked with before at a tournament today.
One of the kids was on the bench, and his mum comes up behind him, reaches around in front of his face, and makes him read a text message.
The message was from the kid's dad - who wasn't at the game - and apparently read along the lines of "You need to score like you did on Tuesday when you zigzagged around everyone".
So, remote coaching of a kid, during a game, via text message, when you haven't got a clue what's actually happening on the field because you aren't there, and delivering said coaching 'advice' via your loud, obnoxious, and ironically obese wife.
Parenting - you're doing it wrong.