Topic: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson

[redgriffin73]

These are just genius! 

[The Gulleysucker]

To the tune of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'


God help us rawkite mental men,
And grimace with dismay,
Remember Roy our manager,
Is still in charge today,
He's saved us all from Rafa's power,
But down we'll go next May,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's friends with Alex Ferguson,
He's friends with Allardice,
He's friends with all the newspapers,
Who think he's 'Very nice'
He speaks in many languages,
He's managed Inter twice,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

Roy hoped he'd manage England if
Capello went away,
It didn't quite work out like that,
He's here with us today.
He thought it would be easy,
Stay 12 months and then away
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's very easy spreading blame,
When things don't go his way,
It's always someone else's fault,
He rarely wins away,
He's masterful at shifting blame,
And expert at high pay,
But he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
But he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's got a simple plan that works
He's confident, assured.
It's worked for 35 years now,
Will probably once more,
Have 10 play back and one in front
Then punt it up and score,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

But cheer up rawkite mental men,
He'll not be here too long,
He's never stuck a job so far,
His technique's never wrong,
A paragon, a master,
He'll end up with a gong,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

[America's Sweetheart]

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Roy Hodgson sent to me:
Carra's extension
Bobby Zamora
Ten Stewart Downing
Nine Michael Owen
Eight Kevin Davies
Seven Clint Dempsey
Six Danny Murphy
Christian Poulsen
No Fernando
No Pepe
No Dan Agger
And a Famous Win in Turkey

[rouge nell]

Tune: Last Christmas

Roy's blown it, he's thrown it away
the only big job that came his way
this year there will be no cheers
we'll save it for someone special(obviously not Mourinho because that would be wrong)

[rouge nell]

To the tune of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'


God help us rawkite mental men,
And grimace with dismay,
Remember Roy our manager,
Is still in charge today,
He's saved us all from Rafa's power,
But down we'll go next May,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's friends with Alex Ferguson,
He's friends with Allardice,
He's friends with all the newspapers,
Who think he's 'Very nice'
He speaks in many languages,
He's managed Inter twice,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

Roy hoped he'd manage England if
Capello went away,
It didn't quite work out like that,
He's here with us today.
He thought it would be easy,
Stay 12 months and then away
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's very easy spreading blame,
When things don't go his way,
It's always someone else's fault,
He rarely wins away,
He's masterful at shifting blame,
And expert at high pay,
But he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
But he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's got a simple plan that works
He's confident, assured.
It's worked for 35 years now,
Will probably once more,
Have 10 play back and one in front
Then punt it up and score,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

But cheer up rawkite mental men,
He'll not be here too long,
He's never stuck a job so far,
His technique's never wrong,
A paragon, a master,
He'll end up with a gong,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

Tremendous

[Corkboy]

"Well thought of at the LMA". Marvellous, Gulley.

[Hymer Red]

To the tune of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'


God help us rawkite mental men,
And grimace with dismay,
Remember Roy our manager,
Is still in charge today,
He's saved us all from Rafa's power,
But down we'll go next May,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's friends with Alex Ferguson,
He's friends with Allardice,
He's friends with all the newspapers,
Who think he's 'Very nice'
He speaks in many languages,
He's managed Inter twice,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

I Like that one and all the others are coming along well too 

[electricghost]

Ding dong Ibra Affellay
Is another we won't be signing
Ding dong I've seen it on Sky
It's old cloggers Roy is pining.

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria,
Hodgsona in a crisis!
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria
Hodgsona in a crisis!

[bordeauxred]

 These are absolutely brilliant- congrats to the scribes on RAWK.

[rouge nell]

Tune:Mistletoe & Wine

Transfer time,Lets have a whine
Roy going to balls it,massively, big time
He wont be signing an unearthed young dime
Instead we'll get a dane past his prime
We need a striker and winger or three
instead we'll get the twin of Konchesky

[I and I]

Thought the title said "Christmas transfer for Roy Carroll" at first...

To the tune of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'

Brilliant!

[Big_Red]

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,

Oh what fun it is to see Hodgson win away,

Hey!.....

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way

after the milk u got sugared away

LMA LMA ILL IM Fucken EEH

[casey]

Pure genius this thread.

[StevenLFC]

To the tune of We Three Kings of Orient Are:
 
Liverpool fans are all in despair
We've got no nails, we're loosing our hair
From Alonso to Poulsen
We're playing like Bolton
Hoofing it in the air
 
Oh we miss Benitez, Hodgson's shite
It seems he'll never make things right
Never leading, wish he was leaving
Guide him to the nearest flight
 
I remember a game on a Wednesday night
We played Northampton, and got our eyes wiped
With Lucas and Spearing
We got the result we were fearing
When Eccleston missed his pen
 
Oh we miss Benitez, Hodgson's shite
It seems he'll never make things right
Never leading, wish he was leaving
Guide him to the nearest flight
 
Paul Koncheskey is our left back
If it was up to us we'd give him the sack
Can't tackle or de-fend
Drives us 'round the bend
I'd rather have Djimi back.
 
Oh we miss Benitez, Hodgson's shite
It seems he'll never make things right
Never leading, wish he was leaving
Guide him to the nearest flight

[Bonaqua]

This thread makes me proud to be a LFC supporter! Brilliant!

[theboyspen]

To the tune of 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'


God help us rawkite mental men,
And grimace with dismay,
Remember Roy our manager,
Is still in charge today,
He's saved us all from Rafa's power,
But down we'll go next May,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
Yet he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's friends with Alex Ferguson,
He's friends with Allardice,
He's friends with all the newspapers,
Who think he's 'Very nice'
He speaks in many languages,
He's managed Inter twice,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

Roy hoped he'd manage England if
Capello went away,
It didn't quite work out like that,
He's here with us today.
He thought it would be easy,
Stay 12 months and then away
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's very easy spreading blame,
When things don't go his way,
It's always someone else's fault,
He rarely wins away,
He's masterful at shifting blame,
And expert at high pay,
But he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
But he's well thought of at the LMA.

He's got a simple plan that works
He's confident, assured.
It's worked for 35 years now,
Will probably once more,
Have 10 play back and one in front
Then punt it up and score,
And he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
And he's well thought of at the LMA.

But cheer up rawkite mental men,
He'll not be here too long,
He's never stuck a job so far,
His technique's never wrong,
A paragon, a master,
He'll end up with a gong,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA,
And the FA,
'Cause he's well thought of at the LMA.

I was gonna have a go but I don't think I'll bother after that!                           

[Gus 1855]

Thought this was a thread about Roy getting the Geordie Carroll for Christmas.

[theboyspen]

Here goes then; (To the tune of 'Stop The Cavalry!'

Oh Mr Hodgson You signed Poulsen
Then you went and signed Paul Konchesky
Please don't get me wrong They've done nothin wrong
But they're not good enough for LFC
You might've beaten Blackburn You might've beaten Bolton
But can you stop the Che- el- sea?

(Boot it up to Torres Boot it up to him Boot it up now Boot it up Boot it up to him! Boot it up to Torres Boot it up to him Boot it up now Boot it up Boot it up to him!)

Wish we could be 4th (At least!) this Christmas!


 

[Hymer Red]

Some really funny posts in here.

I cant resist another, how about Roy Wood & Wizzard I wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday.  I even went to utube to make sure it fit how sad is that?

Oh we know Roys got to go
Its the only scenario
To put a great big smile on everybodies face
We all know that hes no good
And his team plays like their wood
and we better not keep him cos he'll have us going down next may

Oh I wish we could get rid of Roy today
If they like him so much cant we send him to the LMA?
Oh I wish we could get Rafa back today
Let the Kop sing out for christmas

If John Henry will allow
We could get shot of Roy now
Put a great big smile on Nando & Pepes face
We could all then settle down
Get the ball back on the ground
No more hoofing and booting of the ball up the field anywhere

Oh I wish we could get rid of Roy today
If they like him so much cant we send him to the LMA?
Oh I wish we could get Rafa back today
Let the Kop sing out for christmas

It will be great new day
When we play the Libpool way
And put a great big smile on everybodies face
All the pundits should get the sack
When they see that we are back
And that Rafa is home and leading us again

Oh I wish we could get rid of Roy today
If they like him so much cant we send him to the LMA?
Oh I wish we could get Rafa back today
Let the Kop sing out for christmas

OK you lot take it!

Oh I wish we could get rid of Roy today
If they like him so much cant we send him to the LMA?
Oh I wish we could get Rafa back today
Let the Kop sing out for christmas

Why dont you give us Rafa for Christmas!

When John Henry brings him home! When John Henry brings him home!

[iAnfieldRoad]

HARK NOW HEAR THE SCOUSERS SING
UNITED RAN AWAY
AND WE WILL LIVE FOREVER MORE
BECAUSE OF KING KENNY 

[danbylfc]

Some fantastic posts gave me a chuckle. Get carol singing and see if anyone realises who your singing about

[Liverbird 2010]

Inbulk at some of these fuckin class 

[ALANM]

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christain Poulsen had the ball and he's given it away!

[horne]

Thought the title said "Christmas transfer for Roy Carroll" at first...

Brilliant!

i thought andy carroll from newcastle...disapointed now....


well was until i got to gulleysuckers...dead funny that

[electricghost]

Royston the red faced manager
Had a very itchy chin
And if you ever saw him
You would never see him win

All of the other managers
Used to like him and be his friend
But they never let poor Royston
Win against them in the end

Then one balmy summers day
Purslow came to say:
Royston with your face to rub
Will you come and wreck our club?

Now all the managers love him
As they shouted out with glee
Roy you will take Liverpool down
You'll go down in history

[America's Sweetheart]

With apologies to Neko Case and Tom Waits

Christmas Card From A Hooker In Richmond-On-Thames
Rafa, I'm useless
And living on borrowed time
Right above a dirty bookstore
Off Anfield Road
Can't stop acting like a dope
I can't quit talking bollocks
And my tactics have been found out
Nothing works out at the back

No-one rates my resume
And they don't respect the LMA
They say they want me gone
Like the desert needs the rain
Though I gave them Christian Poulsen
And a baldy-head left back

Rafa, they talk about you
Every time I log on the interweb
On account of all the good times
And the love you had for them
You still have that record
86 points in one season
Someone stole my hubcaps
How do you like that?

Rafa, I almost went crazy
After Alberto got fit again
Sent him back home so I could buy a Dane
Now everyone I used to know is plain embarrassed for me
So I'm going back to Surrey
This time I think I'm gonna stay

Rafa, I think I'm happy
For the first time since I took this job
Wish I had all the money
I splashed out on these dopes
I'd buy me Kevin Davies
And I wouldn't play Torres
Just let Carra hoof it skywards
That's the way to play the game

Rafa, for Christ sakes
If you wanna know the truth of it
I don't have a clue
And I want to go home
I need to borrow money
To pay my LMA dues
And Rafa, hey
I'll be eligible for the dole
Come Valentines day

[Zappa]

Deck the Kop with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

We’re a joke and he’s a wally,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Goodbye Nando, Gerrard, Reina
Fa la la, fa la la, la la la.

Leaving soon and we won’t blame yer,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the clueless clown before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Buy some knackered has-been forward
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Follow him to our new level,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Hope to God he won’t sign Neville
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away the old way passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Hail the lions led by asses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Sing we joyous, all together,
Fa la la, fa la la, la la la.

Fuck off back down south for ever,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

[VamosLiverpool]

Tune: Run, run Rudolph.

Run run Fernando,
Hodgson's got you running the lines,
Carra's gonna make you hurry
Don't worry we all think they're swines.

[America's Sweetheart]

Deck the Kop with boughs of holly ...

Genius.

[ALANM]

To the tune of Oh Little Town Of Bethlehem:

Oh small club that's called Everton
you won your cup final.
You were the better team on the day
and won by two to nil.
Yet 17 days have passed now
and still no DVD.
Your fans aghast
as they all ask
what are you doing to me?

[theboyspen]

This one to the tune of  'I Believe in Father Christmas!'

They said there'd be no more Rafa
They left us deep in the shite
We lost Xavier Mascherano
Chelsea took the Israelite

I Believed in Rafa Benitez
I watched him on SKY with excited eyes
But some of our fans didn't go for his plans
Now there's a big fucking surprise!

They said they'd appoint his successor
They said he would turn us around
But just like those two greedy bastards
They tried to run our club into the ground

I remember that fateful morning
When Roy promised us Heaven and Earth
With Rafa gone Replaced by Hodgson
The Manager we get we deserve!

    Shit!! I've depressed me fuckin' self now!

[macca888]

  Gulley and Hymer, absolute works of genius there. Love them!

Good King Wenceslas

Old Roy Hodgson looked in the showers
And letched at naked Steven
Lapped up every word he said
And played him central midfield
Stuck our Raul on the right
Treated Agger cruel
Even when Carra played shite
What a silly old fooooool

[John C]

You lot are brilliant, some funny people on here.

[GorstStreetBoy]

The mood is wrong, Our spirits fucked,
Our coach talks shite, not good enough,
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime,
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime.

The partys on, Koncheskys here,
Be worth fuck all, this time next year,
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime,
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime.

Just how can Poulsen be so wrong?
Hes practiced all year long

So raise a glass, Our Saviour's here,
The LMA, Manager of The Year...
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime,
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime.

Roys wrong, Roys wrong, Roys wrong , Roys wrong...
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-dooooo!

... Il get me coat

[Zappa]

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

I saw Woyston bugger Liverpool
Underneath the rest of them this year.
He’s a smarmy little creep
And his tactics aren’t too deep
He’s doing SAF a favour
And he makes me want to weep

Us and  Woyston in the Championship
He’ll take  us back to where old Shanks began
And the papers all agree
He’s a nice decent chappie
But he’s buggering Liverpool FC

[Barnes10]

Should old acquaintances be forgotten, And NEVER brought to mind?

[Aristotle]

Quickly becoming my favourite thread on here

[CHOPPER]

Should old acquaintances be forgotten, And NEVER brought to mind?

Benitez?

[Zappa]

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree how lovely are your branches....


O Roy Hodgson! O Roy Hodgson!

You don’t know what you’re doing;

O Roy Hodgson! O Roy Hodgson!

Its Liverpool you’re screwing;

Now how the fuck did you get here?

Your tactics shite your football’s drear.

O Roy Hodgson! O Roy Hodgson!

You don’t know what you’re doing;

[The Red artist.]

Tune :-While Shepherds Washed Their Socks At Night

While Kopites watched their team last night
All sat behind the goal
An Angel of Fowlers came down
And put Roy on the dole

Oh thanks to thee the Kopites sang
it sure was getting dire
With Roy in charge it was so dull
and we were in the mire

Fear not said he a King shall come
And he will sort it out
The team position will improve
Of that there is no doubt

He'll stay until the seasons end
And then his job is done
A place in next years champions league
Is what he will have won

Hope the mods dont lock this thread, it could be fun

HEHE, now thats good!