Topic: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson

[macca888]

On the back of pages and pages of gloom and misery, seeing as nobody wants to sing him a song, and inspired by American Sweetheart's hilarious thread which is th only thing that's given me a laugh for ages, and on the back of yesterday's meeting with Mr Henry, I thought I'd see if we could all come up with a nice carol or hymn For Roy. Here's my first offering for now

Santa Baby

Johnny baby, slip Zamora under the tree, for me
He’ll score four awful good goals
Johnny baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Johnny baby, an incompetent Ameobi’s cute, he’s a beaut
He'll balls up for you dear
Johnny baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun we've missed
Since I’ve been the manager the team looks pissed
Next year I could be oh so good
Championship footy from the FA’s list
Boo doo bee doo

Johnny honey, I want Emile, so hot, and really that's
Not a lot
£20 million and really that’s fair
Johnny baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Johnny cutie, there's one thing I really do need, Kevin D
He’s a massive goal mine
Johnny cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Johnny baby, I'll fill my stocking with Bramble and Bent
Sign your 'X' on the line
Johnny baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and look at Konchesky
He’d get the runaround from a kid of three
I really do believe in you
Even if you think Christian Poulsen is poo
Boo doo bee doo

Johnny baby, forgot to mention one little thing, Marlon King
I don't think he’s that shit
Johnny baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight



Coming soon also available on Ronco Records - 

In January Babel's Gone

Forwards Christian Poulsen

Aways Are A Danger

[VamosLiverpool]

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,

Oh what fun it is to see Hodgson win away,

Hey!.....

[CHOPPER]

Deck Torres and drown Glen Johnson folla lol la lar, lol lol lar.
Tis the reason we are struggling...............

[xavidub]

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,

Oh what fun it would be,
to see Hodgson go away,

Hey!.....

[Jokerman]

Deck Torres and drown Glen Johnson folla lol la lar, lol lol lar.
Tis the reason we are struggling...............

Brilliant.

[tommy LFC]

To the tune of jingle bells:

Hoof the ball. hoof the ball, hoof it all the way,
Oh what fun it is to see, Torres chase it down

[macca888]

 

Deck Torres and drown Glen Johnson folla lol la lar, lol lol lar.
Tis the reason we are struggling...............

Oh I wish it could be Blackburn every day

[rowan_d]

Such hidings you bring,
You're not quite The King,

etc

[SP]

In the mid bleak winter,
Frosty webs made moan,
Carra stood hard as Iron,
Poulsen stood like stone...

[Hymer Red]

Away We're In Danger
We got ten at the back
And the way that we're playing
Will get Roy the sack

With Nando on his own
And no midfield nearby
He is waiting all lonely
For the ball in the sky

At home we're no better
Our style is the same
If we stay at the bottom
They will chant Rafas name

The crowd are all brassed off
They all want Roy sacked
If we dont climb the table
He will never be backed

So a plea to John Henry
You know why we're shit
Have a word with Roy Hodgson
And get him to quit

If he wont go without pushing
Then you'll have to get tough
And tell him quite firmly
That enough is enough

Then go see King Kenny
Ask him to stand in
Till the end of season
And then we'll start to win

When the season is over
And we're back near the top
You can bring back our Rafa
And please all the Kop

Sorry Ill get me coat 

[sigilium]

Brilliant that Hymer lad

[Lofty Ambitions]

To the tune of jingle bells:

Hoof the ball. hoof the ball, hoof it all the way,
Oh what fun it is to see, Torres chase it down

Simple songs for simple minds. Loved this!

[Seebab]

Not really Hodgson related but

I saw Fergie kissing* Allardyce, underneath the stadium roof last night
He didn't see me creep
Down the tunnel to have a peep
He thought I was locked up in my office fast asleep
Then I saw Fergie kissing David Moyes
Underneath his face so Gollum-like
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Fergie had only seen
David kissing Allardyce last night

*replace kissing with other connotations if need-be

[Aristotle]

*Tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas*

We wish we were playing Blackburn
We wish we were playing Blackburn
We wish we were playing Blackburn
We wish we were playing Blackburn and that grinch Fat Sam
Good results we bring to you and your kin
Ho-ly fuckballs Roy needed that win


*Tune of The Christmas Song*

Konchesky playing like he caught on fire
Poulsen playing like he froze
The tactics we use are shocking and dire
I can't wait 'til Roy goes


*Tune of Let It Snow*

Ohh the table is looking frightful
But Roy still looks delightful
We're shit and we're playing slow
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And last season took some topping
He's taking us way down low
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.

At least we're playing in Europe tonight
But I'd rather strip naked in a storm
His grip is getting so tight
Next season this will be the norm

Ohh LFC is slowly dying
The supporters who watch all sighing
NESV we trust that you will know
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.



Thinking of a few more. Brilliant thread idea

[Daniel Cabbaggio]

Five Euro Cups

[kacangpool]

haha brilliant thread.

[Aristotle]

*To the tune of White Christmas*

I'm dreaming of attacking football
Just the like the one I used to know
Where the strikers glisten
And supporters listen
As the team is banging in the goals


*To the tune of Little Drummer Boy*

Win for me he said ba rum pum pum pum
Kenny is our king ba rum pum pum pum
The finest cups we'll win ba rum pum pum pum
We did this for our king ba rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum ba rum pum pum pum


*To the tune of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer*

Torres the blond haired striker
Had a neck for scoring goals
That was before this season
Where his goal tally froze

Roy didn't like his methods
He doesn't like these foreign names
Torres looked on in anger
Cause we didn't win any games

All the supporters love him
Love him ounce for ounce
And they show it proudly
Doing the Torres bounce

[Fanxxxxtastic]

Some cracking posts in here lads and lasses

'I Saw Three Points'


I saw three points go sailing away
On Sunday, on Sunday;
I saw three points go sailing away
On Sunday in the avo.

And what was in those points all three,
On Sunday, on Sunday?
And what was in those points all three,
On Sunday in the avo?

Stevie G and Nando were there,
On Sunday, on Sunday;
Stevie G and Nando were there,
On Sunday in the avo.

Pray, wither sailed those points all three,
On Sunday, on Sunday;
Pray, wither sailed those points all three,
On Sunday in the avo?

O they sailed into Blackpool,
On Sunday, on Sunday;
O they sailed into Blackpool,
On Sunday in the avo.


I know I've missed a few verses, but had enough of that now

[Chakan]

Nice Swan

[Stretch Armstrong]

Rocking around the bottom three
We use to be near the top
Man for man marking for all to see
When will this shite stop.

Rocking around the bottom three
We have nobody on the wing
Poulsens on and giving it a try
And we're all praying.

You will get a sentimental
Feeling when you hear
Voices singing let's bring back Rafa,
Agger sings Roy's a shite Gaffa.

[Seebab]

Don't you have assignments to do Aristotle- stop procrastinating!

[Aristotle]

Don't you have assignments to do Aristotle- stop procrastinating!

Come on lad. They are my inspiration

Would otherwise never have taken the time to write these songs if I didn't have an essay to turn in tomorrow

[electricghost]

Hark the Gerrard angel sings
Glory to Kenny the King
Poulsen central and Carra at right back
Roy's tactics get him the sack
Joyful all the RAWKites rise
When they hear of Roy's demise
When John Henry he proclaims
Roy is nice but just too tame
Hark the Gerrard angel sings
Glory to Kenny the King

[alex.]

It's November! I bet you've put your lights up already?

Only one for me:

O come all ye faithful,
joyful and triumphant
O come ye, O come ye to Anfield
Come and behold them
They’re the Kings of Europe
O come let us adore them
O come let us adore them
O come let us adore them
L I V E R P O O L!

[simesy]

Away We're In Danger
We got ten at the back
And the way that we're playing
Will get Roy the sack

With Nando on his own
And no midfield nearby
He is waiting all lonely
For the ball in the sky

At home we're no better
Our style is the same
If we stay at the bottom
They will chant Rafas name

The crowd are all brassed off
They all want Roy sacked
If we dont climb the table
He will never be backed

So a plea to John Henry
You know why we're shit
Have a word with Roy Hodgson
And get him to quit

If he wont go without pushing
Then you'll have to get tough
And tell him quite firmly
That enough is enough

Then go see King Kenny
Ask him to stand in
Till the end of season
And then we'll start to win

When the season is over
And we're back near the top
You can bring back our Rafa
And please all the Kop

Sorry Ill get me coat 

Get it recorded and i'll buy it

[Hymer Red]

Tune :-While Shepherds Washed Their Socks At Night

While Kopites watched their team last night
All sat behind the goal
An Angel of Fowlers came down
And put Roy on the dole

Oh thanks to thee the Kopites sang
it sure was getting dire
With Roy in charge it was so dull
and we were in the mire

Fear not said he a King shall come
And he will sort it out
The team position will improve
Of that there is no doubt

He'll stay until the seasons end
And then his job is done
A place in next years champions league
Is what he will have won

Hope the mods dont lock this thread, it could be fun

[Seebab]

You're good Hymer.

[rafasredangel]

Tune :-While Shepherds Washed Their Socks At Night

While Kopites watched their team last night
All sat behind the goal
An Angel of Fowlers came down
And put Roy on the dole

Oh thanks to thee the Kopites sang
it sure was getting dire
With Roy in charge it was so dull
and we were in the mire

 

Love it.

[America's Sweetheart]

Dunno what happened to my plea for banners and songs, it prolly broke one of the unwritten rules of The Liverpool Way. But I had all my Texican weasels working on this all day long and this is the best they were able to come up with. Not strictly a Carol, obv but it's about as old as Roy's coaching experience and at least twice as fresh.

A Song For Hodgo
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/TcWBlvbYwH8" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/TcWBlvbYwH8</a>
Personally, I think it should be sung in the style of the great man Hodgo himself.

But since you asked for a Carol.

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to see
Libpool draw away (and home)

Oh. And the banner.

[The G in Gerrard]

*Tune of Let It Snow*

Ohh the table is looking frightful
But Roy still looks delightful
We're shit and we're playing slow
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And last season took some topping
He's taking us way down low
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.

At least we're playing in Europe tonight
But I'd rather strip naked in a storm
His grip is getting so tight
Next season this will be the norm

Ohh LFC is slowly dying
The supporters who watch all sighing
NESV we trust that you will know
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.

Genius

[Liver Bird]

This thread has had me in stitches...brilliant!

[Corkboy]

It's beginning to look a lot like Fulham,
Ten behind the ball,
Take a look at the way we play,
Hoofing the game away,
And Nando up the pitch getting cold.

It's beginning to look a lot like Fulham,
Mid table here we go,
But the prettiest sight you'll see,
The wallet of John Henry,
Closing for Hodgo.

[macca888]

  Great stuff people     Keep 'em coming


Frosty The Snowman

Hodgson the owlman
Was a miserable fucking soul,
Signing two old pricks and no fucking tactics
He wouldn't know his elbows from his arsehole.

Hodgson the owlman
Is a clueless fuck they say,
His teams got played off the park and he won shite trophies in Denmark
Thankfully he'll get fucked off soon one day.

[♠Dirty Harry♠]

Oh Holy Shite

O Holy Shite! The stars are rightly whining,
It is cause were closer to bottom than fourth.
Long lay the ball it unfurled and Rafa pining.
Till He appeared and then Poulen went fourth.
A thrill of hope the weary kop rejoices,
For yonder breaks the post and is met with scorn
Ball at your feet! Oh, hear the kopites voices!
O Shite divine, the plight when Christian was born;
O Shite, O Holy Shite , O Shite benign!
O Shite, O Holy Shite , O Shite Resign!


Needs work

[rouge nell]

Tune: Little Donkey

Poor Roy hodgson poor Roy hodgson
on a lonely road
keeps on playing Christian Poulsen
in a holding role

Poor Roy hodgson poor Roy hodgson
on a lonely road
struggling to think of the best place
for the free Joe Cole

Let the reds attack
please please Roy
Let the reds attack
please please Roy

and repeat

[Hymer Red]

Theres only one xmas song for me and its this one by Slade  Merry Chrismas Everybody

Did you put up all those posters on your wall?
Did you try to do your best however small?
Did you send a load emails?
Did you stay back at the end
Did you carry on until the Yanks were gone?

Well here it is
Merry Christmas
Everybodys having fun
Look to the future now
Its only just begun

Are you waiting for John Henry to decide?
Are you hoping he'll be quick and skin Roys hide?
You just know it will get better
You just know it cant get worse
So glad that Roy cant get hold of the purse

Well here it is
Merry Christmas
Everybodys having fun
Look to the future now
Its only just begun

Are you ready for some football on the floor?
Are you ready for some tactics that dont bore?
All the players working harder
We are looking like a team
At last we can again begin to dream

Well here it is
Merry Christmas
Everybodys having fun
Look to the future now
Its only just begun

ITS CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS

[Mr Mojo Risin']

It was Christmas Eve babe
In the bottom three
An old man said to me, won't win another one
And then he sang a song
The Fields of Anfield Road
I turned my face away
And dreamed about 'pool

Got on a losing run
Ten lost not any won
I've got a feeling
That's it for Liverpool
So Happy Christmas
I love you LFC
I can see a future now
We're in division two

We've got cole  down the left
Jovanavic up front
But the worst of them all
They say Lucas' a c**t

When he first took 'the pitch
In the mighty red shirt
You promised Brazilian
But more like Oxford


You're talks Roy
Aren't pretty
Insightfull nor witty
All the crowd they all saying
Show owl out the door!!
The kop  celebrated,
Now we won't get relagated
We'll play sexy football
Against the shite we'll score four

The boys of the 3 0's section choir
Were singing "for the team"
And the bells were lamenting
For dear old Roy

[rouge nell]

Tune: Happy Xmas (War is over)

So this is Anfield and what have you done (Roy)
the old yanks are over the new ones just begun
and so this is anfield for red and for white
its time for El nino to give us some delight

[electricghost]

We the fans of LFC
Bearing flags we traverse to see
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following Stevie G

Oh Roy of blunder Roy of dip
Roy this form is not a blip
Downward leading still proceeding
Guide us to The Championship

[S.Red please]

To the tune of "Silent Night"

Hodgsons shite, Hodgsons shite
He is cwap, he is shite
Wound yon Konchesky Poulsen and Co.
Pack your bags, shut up and go
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Holy shitee, it can't be right!
Kopites bounce at the sight
Glory streams from heavens afar
Heavenly Kopites sing Rafaaa!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of Fowler, Rafas alright
Radiant beams from Thy spanish face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Fowler, at Thy Kop
Jesus, Fowler, at Thy Kop


(I'm calling it 'Hogsons shite; Rafas alright' )