Topic: Cancer

[mobydick]

My Dad pretty much confirmed with bowel cancer the other day. He's 74, had his endoscopies and they found a lump. Doctor started talking about surgery but waiting for the results from the biopsies to come back. Got his CT scan on Monday of next week. No great surprise that he's got it as he had a heart attack last May. Sounds very much like this was the cause and has gone undetected until now, especially with the delay in attending follow up clinics with the covid related backlogs. Also a distinct possibility that he may not be able to have surgery because of his heart issues.

He lives on his own about 200 miles away from myself and has no family or any real friends in his immediate area. I also live alone, whilst my brother, his partner and two kids are a similar distance away from him. The practicalities around this and his situation had me pretty scared at first (to say the very least). My mum passed away from MND more than a decade ago and I took the experience from that into now straightaway. Told my manager and she has no problem with me working from home at his address if necessary and not being on standby to go into the office. Also had a very useful chat yesterday with a more senior member of staff who has recently lost both her mum and nan to cancer. Felt guilty sending her a message asking what advice was available for family members from the likes of Macmillan as it happened so recently but reached out anyway. She's a very approachable person and stayed beyond the end of her shift to talk and also gave me her personal number so I can contact her at any time.

I suppose the reason I'm posting this is just to say that it can be easy to forget about the effect this kind of thing can have on everyone else involved and not to be afraid to ask for help.

Feel for you mate, it's not an easy journey and as you say cancer is not constrained as a one person problem, everyone who cares suffers. Just support him as best you can and be there for him when he needs you.
You need to stay strong too. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[cormorant]

Feel for you mate, it's not an easy journey and as you say cancer is not constrained as a one person problem, everyone who cares suffers. Just support him as best you can and be there for him when he needs you.
You need to stay strong too. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Thanks.

That's very much appreciated.

Last week was a bit of a blur when I look back but it's kind of why I posted in the first place. Got my head wrapped around a lot of it now but I knew it would take some processing. Just been letting it flow and taking it as it comes. Feel much better now from a personal perspective but there are many more very difficult days ahead. Been out for a walk after work with one of my mates. I told her of the news last week and we met up in our local park to walk her dog. It was just nice to chat and to have that bit of support from reaching out.

In terms of news, Dad rearranged his CT scan for Tuesday of next week as he has been having side effects from the iron tablets that he's started taking over the last month and was too dehydrated on the original day for the scan. He's spoken to the nursing staff at the hospital and they said he can go in for an alternative drip so he has much lesser chance of the side effects. Still in that unenviable position of waiting for the prognosis, but he's been very chilled about talking about it and that has been lovely.

He's visiting mine tomorrow. The daft sod even offered not to call in when he drops his car at my place before he gets the bus into town for fear of interrupting me watching our game.

Edit:

Just modifying this post rather than putting in a new one that will send it to the top of the page as I'm concious of not making it into a 'me show'.

Things are progressing very quickly. Dad didn't visit as I mentioned in the post above as he was vomiting and suffering from a bad stomach. Long story short, he got took into Arrowe Park for emergency surgery last Friday. Turns out that it wasn't the iron tablets but a blockage in his digestive system caused by the tumour. Had his small intestine out and stoma as a result. Rushed down there when I found out and luckily my brother was visiting at the time. Things were pretty hairy when he went into surgery as they were talking about him coming out onto intensive care due to his underlying heart issues. In the end they did the procedure by keyhole surgery and he got put onto a general surgery ward. Made a very quick recovery all things considered, from just water in the first 24 hours to hot meals on a soft food but very low fibre diet in a matter of days. Getting discharged tomorrow.

They didn't take the tumour out as it was too dangerous to remove. Brother is staying there for now to help with his immediate recovery. Looks like the plan is to refer him to Clatterbridge for chemotherapy.

[reddebs]

It's 20yrs today since we lost Paul's eldest sister to bowel cancer. 

Just 42yrs old and 13mths to the day from diagnosis which happened to be the day/night we met.

RIP Jean 💔

[mobydick]

Edit:

Just modifying this post rather than putting in a new one that will send it to the top of the page as I'm concious of not making it into a 'me show'.

Things are progressing very quickly. Dad didn't visit as I mentioned in the post above as he was vomiting and suffering from a bad stomach. Long story short, he got took into Arrowe Park for emergency surgery last Friday. Turns out that it wasn't the iron tablets but a blockage in his digestive system caused by the tumour. Had his small intestine out and stoma as a result. Rushed down there when I found out and luckily my brother was visiting at the time. Things were pretty hairy when he went into surgery as they were talking about him coming out onto intensive care due to his underlying heart issues. In the end they did the procedure by keyhole surgery and he got put onto a general surgery ward. Made a very quick recovery all things considered, from just water in the first 24 hours to hot meals on a soft food but very low fibre diet in a matter of days. Getting discharged tomorrow.

They didn't take the tumour out as it was too dangerous to remove. Brother is staying there for now to help with his immediate recovery. Looks like the plan is to refer him to Clatterbridge for chemotherapy.

It’s never a me show. We sometimes have to get something off our chests and if this is the place to do it, then go for it.
We are listening if it helps. My father went through some of this and it’s not easy, my dad decided against chemotherapy so we just held him close. Good luck to your dad, my thoughts are with you and yours. Stay strong. 

[mobydick]

It's 20yrs today since we lost Paul's eldest sister to bowel cancer. 

Just 42yrs old and 13mths to the day from diagnosis which happened to be the day/night we met.

RIP Jean 💔

RIP Jean. They never leave you. Thinking of you and yours.

[mobydick]

Ah, by the way I’m going for second blood test on Thursday after my treatment for prostate cancer. I’m a bit nervous and hoping my PSA has remained under 1.
We‘ll see.   

[reddebs]

Ah, by the way I’m going for second blood test on Thursday after my treatment for prostate cancer. I’m a bit nervous and hoping my PSA has remained under 1.
We‘ll see.

Thanks and best of luck mate 👍

[pazcom]

Ah, by the way I’m going for second blood test on Thursday after my treatment for prostate cancer. I’m a bit nervous and hoping my PSA has remained under 1.
We‘ll see.   

Good luck mate.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Ah, by the way I’m going for second blood test on Thursday after my treatment for prostate cancer. I’m a bit nervous and hoping my PSA has remained under 1.
We‘ll see.   

Best wishes to you and yours mate. Everything crossed for you

[Crosby Nick]

Good luck Moby.

[cormorant]

Appreciate your kind words, Moby. Found it useful to get my thoughts down in writing in here for a few reasons.

Good luck with your blood test. Clear to see that people are thinking of you, myself included.

[mobydick]

Thanks everyone, I'm trying to take my mind off thinks by keeping busy which is a task in itself.

[mobydick]

Just had the results of my blood test and my PSA has reduced further. Down to 0,4 PSA now. :-) That's a relief to be honest, the second one was worrying me more that the first for some reason.

[pazcom]

great news!

[reddebs]

Just had the results of my blood test and my PSA has reduced further. Down to 0,4 PSA now. :-) That's a relief to be honest, the second one was worrying me more that the first for some reason.

Great to hear mate 👍

[cormorant]

That's genuinely brought a smile to my face. Chuffed for you 

[mobydick]

Thank you all. cormorant, you have also been in my thoughts. I hope everything is going as smoothly as it can for your father and your family.

The win tonight capped a very good day.

YNWA

[Ray K]

Thank you all. cormorant, you have also been in my thoughts. I hope everything is going as smoothly as it can for your father and your family.

The win tonight capped a very good day.

YNWA

Good stuff all round 

[cormorant]

Thank you all. cormorant, you have also been in my thoughts. I hope everything is going as smoothly as it can for your father and your family.

The win tonight capped a very good day.

YNWA

Thank you. Nice to see so many posters that are pleased with your good news.

Things could be better here (bit of an understatement but more on that below). Big day today as Dad gets the results of his CT scan this afternoon. He was due to get them a fortnight ago but the hospital had an administrative mix up and assigned him to the wrong consultant. Appointment cancelled and rearranged for today. He's getting on well after his surgery, doing daily exercise (that he wasn't pre-op) and is planning to go to his first match of the season at the weekend for the club that he supports and has a season ticket for.

The bad news relates to my brother. He went back to his house early last week after helping out at Dad's. Fast forward to Sunday evening and he turned up at mine unannounced, homeless and had £1 to his name. Him and his partner had a massive argument and she kicked him out. Without going into any great detail, him and his partner are both pretty big liars, have serious drug problems that they won't admit to and are as bad as each other generally speaking. He stayed at mine for the night but told him that he couldn't stay any longer as I don't have the space, especially as I work from home. I paid his train ticket to get to Dad's so he can stay in a spare room there for the immediate future (Dad offered by the way, as it was either that or a hostel). I feel really sorry for the stress that it must be adding for Dad, not that there was much else that could be done in practical terms. Complete mess of a situation.

[mobydick]

Thank you. Nice to see so many posters that are pleased with your good news.

Things could be better here (bit of an understatement but more on that below). Big day today as Dad gets the results of his CT scan this afternoon. He was due to get them a fortnight ago but the hospital had an administrative mix up and assigned him to the wrong consultant. Appointment cancelled and rearranged for today. He's getting on well after his surgery, doing daily exercise (that he wasn't pre-op) and is planning to go to his first match of the season at the weekend for the club that he supports and has a season ticket for.

The bad news relates to my brother. He went back to his house early last week after helping out at Dad's. Fast forward to Sunday evening and he turned up at mine unannounced, homeless and had £1 to his name. Him and his partner had a massive argument and she kicked him out. Without going into any great detail, him and his partner are both pretty big liars, have serious drug problems that they won't admit to and are as bad as each other generally speaking. He stayed at mine for the night but told him that he couldn't stay any longer as I don't have the space, especially as I work from home. I paid his train ticket to get to Dad's so he can stay in a spare room there for the immediate future (Dad offered by the way, as it was either that or a hostel). I feel really sorry for the stress that it must be adding for Dad, not that there was much else that could be done in practical terms. Complete mess of a situation.

It never rains but when it pours. I feel for you mate. Unfortunately it's all added stress that you all could do without. Try to stay strong, even when it appears that everything is going against you. YNWA

[cormorant]

It never rains but when it pours. I feel for you mate. Unfortunately it's all added stress that you all could do without. Try to stay strong, even when it appears that everything is going against you. YNWA

Cheers mate.

Just got off the phone to him. Stage 4c, so basically pretty much as bad as it could be. Totally expected it though. He's amazingly matter of fact and at peace with it. Got an appointment next week to decide on chemotherapy or immunotherapy treatment to slow it down. He's currently off to the pub for his first pint in months 🤗

Brother has at least landed on his feet to a certain degree, as he usually does. Bagged himself a temporary job at £14/hour as a Royal Mail delivery driver with the option of time and a half overtime on Sunday's. Got the job within 2 hours of applying. All very EastEnders, but a little bit of good news to end the day on.

[Wabaloolah]

Tory Britain

Experienced it at first hand today, father in law terminally ill with prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. He has deteriorated over the weekend, literally takes three of us to get him out of the chair into a wheelchair to get him into the toilet, then rinse and repeat getting him back.

Tried to get a GP to see him today, they sent a Nurse Practitioner instead who reported back to the GP who rang for an ambulance. As it isn't classed as an emergency, told we would have to wait seven hours for one. OK we understand and reluctantly except that.

Eight hours later still no ambulance, so rang 999 to see what was happening, only to be told that due to an increased volume of calls and high number of emergencies they won't be able to send an ambulance at all.

I mean WTF, he needs to be assessed, unable to put him in a car and take him as his legs are a dead weight, all we have left is 111. Missus on the phone now to them but unable to get through, been on hold for over an hour

This country fucking stinks, I've always hated Tories, now I fucking detest them even more.

[mobydick]

Aye, it's a sad state of affairs when the basics aren't being covered. They say they don't have the money to pay the nurses and support staff in the NHS but can sign the blank cheques for their Tory mates in business and the house of Lords. I'm glad I fucked off years ago, when Maggie Thatcher was doing her worst. No solace for any of you though that need the services. All I can say is I hope you can get him the attention he needs

I was going to post on here anyway today, firstly to say that I always find it a good sign when there are fewer posts in this thread. I know this may not always be the case, with some people preferring not to post their medical troubles but it comes across that way to me. Secondly, I went for my quarterly checkup last week and got the results back today. I was more nervous this time that the last, the mind games with this shite are enough to give you stomach ulcers.


Anyway, long story short, my PSA is down to 0,3 which is very positive and a big relief. This is my third test and I have to keep them up every quarter for two years, so still a bit of a way to go.

Just to say, my thoughts are with you all if you have been subject to this awful disease in any shape or form and I wish you all the best and warm seasons greetings.   

[Wabaloolah]

An ambulance eventually came, 20 hours after it was requested, it really is heartbreaking to see him wasting away to nothing.

The ambulance staff were brilliant, there's just not enough of them or vehicles and they are running at breaking point constantly, so when they get a higher volume of calls they just can't cope. It's down to twelve years of chronic underfunding by successive Tory governments

Pleased your levels have come down Moby, his were off the scale when he was first diagnosed, and his quality of life has been good since that time but sadly I fear we are now at the end of the process and the missus doesn't think he'll come out now.

He even said he wants a DNR as he has no quality of life and whilst it was upsetting for the missus and her Mum to hear that, they understand it and support him with it too.

Seasons greetings to you and yours too, I hope you have more good news in your battle next year

[Ray K]

A colleague at work buried his 7 year old boy on Monday after a two and a half year battle with Neuroblastoma. His funeral cortege was led by 3 guys in Santa Claus outfits, and his classmates wore their brightest Christmas jumpers for their guard of honour, because he loved Christmas.

Would rip your heart in two being there. Never want to experience that again.

RIP Danny.

[cormorant]

That sounds devastating Ray.

Waybuloo (not sure what your normal username is) - I really feel for you guys. If things weren't difficult enough, then yes, the Tory mismanagement of the health sector (and country in general) is really coming home to roost and it's in situations like yours where it shows the most. Hope you are all coping as well as you can.

Moby - very pleased to hear the successive good news about your levels. Was thinking that you were probably due a test around now and have popped into this thread a couple of times in the last month to see if there were any updates.

Things are fairly steady here. Dad has had 3 rounds of chemo. Still in relatively good health and no significant side effects from the treatment. He's had some mouth ulcers and is feeling the cold. No idea if the chemo is working as he hasn't had any further scans yet. Brother is still a predictably unpredictable nightmare but we're taking that as it comes.

[Nitramdorf]

A colleague at work buried his 7 year old boy on Monday after a two and a half year battle with Neuroblastoma. His funeral cortege was led by 3 guys in Santa Claus outfits, and his classmates wore their brightest Christmas jumpers for their guard of honour, because he loved Christmas.

Would rip your heart in two being there. Never want to experience that again.

RIP Danny.

Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear that. Neuroblastoma is terrible. Cancer in general has blighted my life and I've lost a lot of family to it over the years but never personally lost a little un. It's just not right.
I used to follow various families on Twitter who were fundraising for their kids to go to America for a miracle treatment and bring themselves some hope. It was heartbreaking seeing working class parents trying to raise a quarter of a million as it was all they had to cling too.

I hope your friends can slowly rebuild their lives a little bit after this awful time.

My dear old mum has now been told shes got it. Shes 84 and extremely frail as it is. They have cut the lump off and then wanted to cut more and cancelled the appointment. Fucking Tories.

It makes you wonder what's the point of anything. Shes had a tough life, losing her parents in the war and losing two husbands and I was hoping fate would let her slip away but no, there had to be a final kick in the proverbials.

Best wishes to all those affected by this bastard.

[Crosby Nick]

A colleague at work buried his 7 year old boy on Monday after a two and a half year battle with Neuroblastoma. His funeral cortege was led by 3 guys in Santa Claus outfits, and his classmates wore their brightest Christmas jumpers for their guard of honour, because he loved Christmas.

Would rip your heart in two being there. Never want to experience that again.

RIP Danny.

Awful to read that Ray. Has to be the worst thing in the world to lose a young child. So unfair.

[mobydick]

Ray that is absolutely horrific. It's unimaginable to think of such a young life ending so soon with this horrible disease. RIP Danny.

Waybuloo, thank you, I'm just taking it one test at a time, can't do anything else really. Having to wait 20 hours for an ambulance its just wrong and so frustrating. Hopefully the Tories will be voted out at the next opportunity and Labour can fund the service properly. It's difficult enough as it is to deal with this disease, an emotional roller coaster, without these hurdles being put in the way. I hope your father in law can be be as pain free as possible and I hope you can all comfort him. 


cormorant, thanks, I'm pretty positive now going into these tests but it still shakes the nerves up a bit waiting on the line for the results. Glad to hear that things your end have settled down a bit. It's relatively pleasing that there are no big side effects to the chemo and if your dad is in good health that will help.

Nitramdorf, I feel for you and your mum. Being that old and then being messed about with her treatment is frustrating to say the least. I just don't understand politicians not wanting to fund the health service, it's mad.

Take care all, best wishes.

[Wabaloolah]

He's gone, passed away peacefully this morning.

Feel so sorry for all of you battling this bastard disease, heartbreaking story about the young lad.

Take care all and keep fighting

[cormorant]

So sorry to hear that. Take care of yourselves and feel free to share anything in here if you wish - it's definitely helped me a good few times.

[mobydick]

He's gone, passed away peacefully this morning.

Feel so sorry for all of you battling this bastard disease, heartbreaking story about the young lad.

Take care all and keep fighting

Sorry to hear that. It's always a toss up. With my dad it was very similar and he, supposedly, took the decision himself and went when it suited him. Always sad when someone goes but when you reflect upon it, it may be a blessing that they leave without pain. Thinking of you. Stay strong and be safe.

[reddebs]

He's gone, passed away peacefully this morning.

Feel so sorry for all of you battling this bastard disease, heartbreaking story about the young lad.

Take care all and keep fighting

Ah mate I'm so sorry to hear that especially so close to Christmas.

[Ray K]

He's gone, passed away peacefully this morning.

Feel so sorry for all of you battling this bastard disease, heartbreaking story about the young lad.

Take care all and keep fighting

Sorry for your loss Waybuloo. Sending all the best to your family.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

He's gone, passed away peacefully this morning.

Feel so sorry for all of you battling this bastard disease, heartbreaking story about the young lad.

Take care all and keep fighting

Very sorry to hear that. Lost my mum, dad, grandma and wife's mum to it.

I have no words really. Just so sorry for you

[kj999]

Tory Britain

Experienced it at first hand today, father in law terminally ill with prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. He has deteriorated over the weekend, literally takes three of us to get him out of the chair into a wheelchair to get him into the toilet, then rinse and repeat getting him back.

Tried to get a GP to see him today, they sent a Nurse Practitioner instead who reported back to the GP who rang for an ambulance. As it isn't classed as an emergency, told we would have to wait seven hours for one. OK we understand and reluctantly except that.

Eight hours later still no ambulance, so rang 999 to see what was happening, only to be told that due to an increased volume of calls and high number of emergencies they won't be able to send an ambulance at all.

I mean WTF, he needs to be assessed, unable to put him in a car and take him as his legs are a dead weight, all we have left is 111. Missus on the phone now to them but unable to get through, been on hold for over an hour

This country fucking stinks, I've always hated Tories, now I fucking detest them even more.

bloody hell. so sad to hear this mate.
I don't live here anymore but i'm back in the country because my mum is very sick with sudden onset CNS Lymphoma (some of you guys have commented in the thread i started a few weeks ago when my mum first fell ill... thak you again for all your comments of suuport)

... to see the NHS on its knees is an indictment. It's an absolute disgrace that it has come to this. I'm seeing it first hand every day. Trying to get my mum the treatment she needs.

CNS Lymphoma has a terrible prognosis if not treated. Talking months.
Mum needed an MRO to confirm her cancer lesions have grown sufficiently for a biopsy.

We were told it would happen on Monday coming. Got a letter through to confirm the date: 23rd January is the first available MRI scan. WTF.

CNS Lymphoma has a prognosis of 2-6 months if untreated. So we're going to wait 6 weeks for a fucking scan? I don't fucking think so.

Thankfully there was a cancellation and mum got in today for the scan. Nowjust hoping ot shows what it needs to show and she can have biopsy ASAP and get onto a treatment plan.

Cancer can fucking do one. SO can the Tories. They are a cancer. utterbastards.

[Wabaloolah]

Thanks all for your kind words and kj999, that's ridiculous, unfortunately the NHS is under so much pressure due to 12 years of Tory rule and it's exactly what they planned too

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Brother's been diagnosed with mole cancer and is going in for an op tomorrow morning. That's my dad gone from it and my mom, myself and now my brother been hit by it. I fkn hate that disease!

[mobydick]

So I went for my 5th check-up last week and my PSA came back at 0,52 which is a good result and where I want it be, namely below 1. This stuff plays with your mind though, because it’s slightly up on the 4th result I was a little bit nervous. My Urologist says not to worry (which never helps anyway) because it’s such a minute rise and everything is good. Onwards and upwards. 👍

[John C]

Good stuff moby, made up for you mate.