Topic: That awkward moment when...

[bleedsred1978]

... She says, is it in yet?

Or worse, is that still your finger? 

[Riises left boot]

Or worse, is that still your finger? 

or "would you mind going back to your finger"

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Nowt wrong with BBW. My last bird was a size 24. I wont, but i could tell you some stories lol.

[Bavaria]

Your write a loving text to your current girlfriend only to send it to your ex. Done that the other day 

[Riises left boot]

I text me mother that I hadnt got anything for my lass of 3 years anything for her birthday looking for some ideas......only I didnt text my mother

[alonsoisared]

I text me mother that I hadnt got anything for my lass of 3 years anything for her birthday looking for some ideas......only I didnt text my mother

you text your wife?

[Agger]

Or worse, is that still your finger? 

or "would you mind going back to your finger"

[pascoli]

you realise pickin up "The Bridesmaids" an sittin watchin it with ya mum n dad is a baaaaad idea.

[Crosby Nick]

Your mother in law accidentally farts in front of you and then you both carry on the conversation as if neither of you heard anything.

[BRdispatch05]

you realise pickin up "The Bridesmaids" an sittin watchin it with ya mum n dad is a baaaaad idea.

watched it with my mom, wasn't that uncomfortable (then again, I missed the first ten minutes of it). When I was about 13 she took me and a friend to watch American Pie...that was uncomfortable

Accidentally told my friend who was feeling suicidal at the time "if you have nothing to live for, what have you got to lose?" I meant it as "if you're ready to give up everything you have, why don't you start from scratch and take a new direction in life?" (that still might be confusing, just having a hard time wording it) We went fishing the next day and we joked about it a lot, but I felt, and still feel awful how it came out. I've since learned to just be quiet or positive if someone asks for advice that I don't know the answer to.

[SMD]

watched it with my mom, wasn't that uncomfortable (then again, I missed the first ten minutes of it). When I was about 13 she took me and a friend to watch American Pie...that was uncomfortable

Your mum and your mate disappear?

[Mouth]

Banging some bird, when her phone rings, its her husband so you stop, then when she has finished the call you carry on failing to notice that the phone has not been hung up properly and her husband is listening.

Bet he was calling from the wardrobe.

[BlackandWhitePaul]

..... a big mouthed slag describes herself as "bubbly".

[TepidT2O]

Your mother in law accidentally pisses on your sofa in front of you and then you both carry on the conversation as if neither of you heard anything.

Just edited your post to make it fit my experience

[Bavaria]

Being woken up starkers on your mates sofa by his mother and put to bed. Fortunately was not me but to this day we have never figured what hell was going there 

[Mouth]

..... a big mouthed slag describes herself as "bubbly".

Arent all geordie girls bubbly?

[Gifted Right Foot]

when you think noone else is home and you have crazy loud sex with your girlfriend only to find out someone was home and heard everything

[BFM]

you fart alone in a room and a second later someone comes to talk to you

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Bet he was calling from the wardrobe.

Didnt know if my brother could fit in there actually. ................... Oops

[Raul!]

 you are  caught picking your nose at the traffic light.

[zero zero]

you are  caught picking your nose at the traffic light.

I just knew your contribution would involve an orifice

[please, I have my reasons for it but...]

You are in the same room with two snorting people and you can't sleep because of it.
Happening to me right now.

[Raul!]

I just knew your contribution would involve an orifice

Hey, at least I'm consistent.

[Enemy]

Your write a loving text to your current girlfriend only to send it to your ex. Done that the other day 

One of my ex's did this to me about 2 years after we split up. I pretended to be outraged and he sent me a grovelling email. I found it quite amusing personally. 

[stevedo]

You have no recollection of what you did the night before on a bender, and you see your "recent calls" mobile list.

[Gifted Right Foot]

"hey" "yeah good, yourself"....

[jaffod]

....your partner tells you you forgot to delete your browsing history.

[INABITSKI]

You are using the bus and staring at that cracking bird a few seats down you start getting a bit of a chubby on. You then realise it is your stop next and have to get up.

True story.

[Crosby Nick]

You are using the bus and staring at that cracking bird a few seats down you start getting a bit of a chubby on. You then realise it is your stop next and have to get up.

True story.

At least you could ring the bell to alert the driver without having to get up.

[GBF]

your friend said that he only played on the PS3 for a short time when you were thinking he wont hear me banging the missus on his bed as he was too generous to give us his bed to sleep when we went to visit him

[The Scouseologist]

the train doors close as your running down the stairs to it, and you try to pretend you didnt want to get on it anyway.

[The Scouseologist]

you pull a bird in Vegas who tells you she lives in Nevada and invites you home to party with her. She says her girlfriends husband will pick you up and give you a lift. You then find your on the motorway for almost 2 hours but she tells you she will drop you off the next morning back at the strip.

You get her home and hop on the good foot and do the bad thing all night, then the morning comes and she refuses to drop you off and tells you where the bus stop is.

You then go downstairs in anger after giving her a boot in bed telling her to move her big black ass, but she refuses. You then snap her mobile phone and her remote control and head to the bus stop.

It takes 4 and a half hours and 3 buses and you make it back to the hard rock hotel where your mates are all around the pool getting drunk and chatting up hot women, whilst you are there in your Kenny Dalglish t-shirt that is stuck to you like Olivia Newton Johns kecks in Grease, and your shorts resemble John Barnes circa 1989.

[Crosby Nick]

you pull a bird in Vegas who tells you she lives in Nevada and invites you home to party with her. She says her girlfriends husband will pick you up and give you a lift. You then find your on the motorway for almost 2 hours but she tells you she will drop you off the next morning back at the strip.

You get her home and hop on the good foot and do the bad thing all night, then the morning comes and she refuses to drop you off and tells you where the bus stop is.

You then go downstairs in anger after giving her a boot in bed telling her to move her big black ass, but she refuses. You then snap her mobile phone and her remote control and head to the bus stop.

It takes 4 and a half hours and 3 buses and you make it back to the hard rock hotel where your mates are all around the pool getting drunk and chatting up hot women, whilst you are there in your Kenny Dalglish t-shirt that is stuck to you like Olivia Newton Johns kecks in Grease, and your shorts resemble John Barnes circa 1989.

Yep. We've all been there.

[stevedo]

Yep. We've all been there.

[SMD]

Yep. We've all been there.

How did you replace your remote?

[Crosby Nick]

How did you replace your remote?

I learnt my lesson. Once bitten...

[Sir Harvest Fields]

You come to your hometown, see an old mate across the bar and shout out rather loudly ' oi Steve, wtf have you done to your hair '. Just finished chemo, pub went quiet as hell. Didnt know where to look. Bought him a pint though so he was happy.

[bryanod]

You realise the first half of Wedding Crashers is full of supposed incestuous relationships and nobody seems to raise an eyebrow.

[Danyaals Kop]

... Heskey scored before Torres in the Premier League this season.

[Chief.]

...when these type of jokes just aren't funny.