Author Topic: Spiders....  (Read 147577 times)

Offline rob1966

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1440 on: January 10, 2016, 09:22:36 pm »
Our kid lives in Bournemouth, they get some massive spiders down there, he also has his pet false widows in the conservatory that kill the flies. A few years ago one of the family gave our kid a sheepskin coat that had been on his boat to keep warm when he went outside for a smoke. First time he wore it he could feel something in the sleeve on the forearm. Our kid has got quite large arms, anyway he takes the coat off and there's this massive spiders wrapped around his arm. He said he shit himself flicked it off and it ran off into the garage. He never saw it again, but there were webs like arachnophobia in the roof of the garage
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Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1441 on: January 11, 2016, 03:18:17 pm »
....from Mars



Seems apt for today

Offline Brissyred

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1442 on: January 22, 2016, 11:28:26 pm »
I had to remove this from my wife's windscreen this morning.


Offline John C

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1443 on: January 22, 2016, 11:35:15 pm »
I had to remove this from my wife's windscreen this morning.

I've got a switch inside my car that would do that :)

Offline Brissyred

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1444 on: January 22, 2016, 11:38:51 pm »
If you do that it just flicks it to the side and they then crawl on the side window, or even worse they disappear and she wont drive the car for a week and uses mine instead.
Then I'm a middle aged bald bloke driving a red convertible ::)

Offline keano7

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1445 on: January 22, 2016, 11:40:18 pm »
I had to remove this from my wife's windscreen this morning.


I hope you used a machete (and that the spider was unharmed, retained all 8 legs and was never to be seen again!).
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Offline CraigDS

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1446 on: January 22, 2016, 11:42:35 pm »
I'd of burnt the car to be honest. Small price to pay to ensure certain death of that thing.

Offline Chakan

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1447 on: January 22, 2016, 11:45:41 pm »
I've got a switch inside my car that would do that :)

Unless it sets the self destruct, your switch is useless.

I would have gone outside and been like

"The spider wants the car, it's got good taste, now I need a new car"

Offline Crosby Nick

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1448 on: January 23, 2016, 09:57:18 am »
Fucking hell, how did I ever go to Brisbane!

Offline wellred82

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1449 on: January 23, 2016, 09:59:23 am »

If you do that it just flicks it to the side and they then crawl on the side window, or even worse they disappear and she wont drive the car for a week and uses mine instead.
Then I'm a middle aged bald bloke driving a red convertible ::)

Is that spider venomous?

Offline Banquo's Ghost

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1450 on: January 23, 2016, 10:17:30 am »
Is that spider venomous?

Does it matter? I bet it kills just by flicking a casual, narrow-eyed glance in your direction.
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Offline Crosby Nick

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1451 on: January 23, 2016, 10:41:43 am »
Is that spider venomous?

Not deadly (just aggressive), so that's alright according to the weird world of Australians!

Offline AB LFC

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1452 on: January 23, 2016, 05:04:29 pm »
I'll just add that to my list of why not to ever visit Australia. Fucks knows what you feed them over there but they're too damn big!

Offline Chakan

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1453 on: January 23, 2016, 05:07:59 pm »
I'll just add that to my list of why not to ever visit Australia. Fucks knows what you feed them over there but they're too damn big!

Small children, goats, birds, dogs, dingo's , just about anything it wants really.

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1454 on: January 24, 2016, 09:17:54 pm »
I had to remove this from my wife's windscreen this morning.



Aahhhhhh, just fuck off. No way would I get back in that car. Id be straight on webuyanycar.com. well buy this one you twats.

Offline LFCGeezer

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1455 on: January 25, 2016, 12:12:31 am »

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1456 on: January 25, 2016, 11:15:52 am »

Offline tubby

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1457 on: January 25, 2016, 11:48:24 am »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-35378879

So easy, just pop a beaker over the top of it when it rears up.  OF COURSE.
Sit down, shock is better taken with bent knees.

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1458 on: January 25, 2016, 11:51:54 am »
Look at the fuckers fangs


Offline thekitkatshuffler

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1459 on: January 25, 2016, 01:16:14 pm »
Not a spider but still a thing of fucking nightmares!

David Platt has a face like a Michael Myers mask being stretched over a dinosaur egg.
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Offline Crosby Nick

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1460 on: January 25, 2016, 01:17:22 pm »
Remember reading my Aussie Guidebooks telling me that Funnel Webs were stocky and aggressive. Could only differentiate them from Aussie men by the extra six legs.

Offline Red Beret

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1461 on: January 25, 2016, 10:10:12 pm »
Yeah, I'm either packing a flamethrower or a magic carpet for this place.

I don't always visit Lobster Pot.  But when I do. I sit.

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Offline El Lobo

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1462 on: January 25, 2016, 10:22:03 pm »
Mmmmmm....spider milk
If he's being asked to head the ball too frequently - which isn't exactly his specialty - it could affect his ear and cause an infection. Especially if the ball hits him on the ear directly.

Offline Groundskeeper Willie

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1463 on: January 26, 2016, 08:24:05 am »
I developed a tolerance for spiders and bugs in the summer, when we basically lived full time in our caravan. Lost count of how many spiders, beetles, frogs etc etc I removed from our awning. Frogs had a tendency to stay in our shoes and wellies. There were some big spiders, by Swedish measures, in there.
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Offline Elmo!

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1464 on: January 26, 2016, 08:54:49 am »
Yeah, I'm either packing a flamethrower or a magic carpet for this place.



That's Abernethy forest in Scotland. Been there, and seen similar scenes to this (though not as spectacular).

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1465 on: January 26, 2016, 09:36:21 am »

Offline tubby

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1466 on: January 26, 2016, 01:00:07 pm »
Sit down, shock is better taken with bent knees.

Offline swoopy

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1467 on: January 26, 2016, 11:09:56 pm »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-35378879

Wait, they want you to casually go and catch a deadly spider, in a jar, give it soil and air holes, then hand it in ....


GET TO FUCK!

Offline soxfan

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1468 on: February 11, 2016, 03:28:17 am »
Don't click. Don't do it. Dear god why did I watch this.  :lmao

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/_EZ_vI7cWAI" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/_EZ_vI7cWAI</a>
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Offline Red Beret

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1469 on: February 12, 2016, 06:31:34 pm »
I don't always visit Lobster Pot.  But when I do. I sit.

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Offline Ycuzz

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1470 on: February 12, 2016, 11:05:44 pm »
@Yvanicuzz

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1471 on: February 12, 2016, 11:24:00 pm »
Bastard is too nice a word for those horrible fuckunts.

Offline thejbs

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1472 on: February 13, 2016, 02:11:51 am »
It's mad how irrationally fearful people in the UK get over harmless spiders.  They keep the house free from annoying and maybe even dangerous insects.  I can understand people being fearful of dangerous, venomous spiders, but over here I let them roam free.

Offline Red Beret

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1473 on: February 28, 2016, 06:54:09 pm »
What Creeps Out Of This Dead Spider Will Crawl Into Your Nightmares

Working on the internet really desensitizes you to certain stuff. Things that used to be funny to you seem to lose their sparkle, DIYs feel old and worn thin, and if you see one more "social experiment" you're gonna lose your mind.

The one thing that never seems to get old, though, are shockingly WTF videos. And parkour fails – but that's probably just because I'm a horrible person.

Obviously there's a limit to how freaky I like my vids to get, but short of seeing people actually get seriously hurt, I like pretty much everything. My personal favorites come from the two best countries in the world: Australia and Russia, although Japan is a close third. They each produce their own distinct, high-quality WTF content, but Australia wins without a doubt.

Boasting a population descended from criminals and wildlife bent on eating you, poisoning you, or both, Australia seems like a place that was made up by parents trying to scare the living crap out of misbehaving children. Seriously, it's like the ultimate bogeyman — "Keep it up and you'll get sent away to Australia like the older brother you never met." *Shivers*

The poor bugger in the video below apparently has the misfortune of living in the land of things that want to kill you, and like a good Australian, he's well prepared. When he found this giant freaking spider lurking about his home, he grabbed the bug spray (not that Off! crap that we use, but the real deal), and got down to business.

For the most part, once you've smashed/sprayed/obliterated a spider, the worst part is over. What he could never have anticipated, though, is how truly messed up his country's creepy crawlies are.

After spraying the spider (and killing it), a nightmarish creature emerged from the belly of the beast, writhing around the desk. I got that weird "bugs on my skin" sensation just watching the damn thing.

If you're wondering what exactly is going on, the Science Channel has your answer. That cuddly little guy is a spiderworm, which is also known as a Mermithid.

It sounds pretty bad already, but it gets even worse. This truly effed up creature literally sucks the life from others, living inside of the spider for its entire life and eating its flesh.

Wormy the spiderworm starts out with eggs from water hatching inside of a spider. Wormy is smart, and doesn't gorge on her dinner. She keeps the host alive strategically, making it thirstier and thirstier, so that Wormy can eventually lay eggs in the water for some poor, unsuspecting spider to consume.

I'd say that this seems like a good thing if it wasn't so goddamn terrifying, but hey — that's Australia for you.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/4E5vUUtSWT4&amp;feature=youtu.be" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/4E5vUUtSWT4&amp;feature=youtu.be</a>

http://diply.com/trendy-joe/article/nightmare-dead-spider?utm_content=inf_10_3147_2&tse_id=INF_21349c5fc60a4ccf99d4337f2f4242fa
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Offline Ziltoid

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1474 on: February 29, 2016, 09:38:17 am »
That's so fucking wrong and fucked up.  I'm sorry but the only course of action is.....


Offline Red Beret

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1475 on: February 29, 2016, 10:21:22 am »
Couldn't help but wonder how something that big could be tucked up inside the spider like that. [/barf]
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Offline CraigDS

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1476 on: February 29, 2016, 10:26:19 am »
Couldn't help but wonder how something that big could be tucked up inside the spider like that. [/barf]

Probably the same way a 15m+ tapeworm could be inside of you right now.

Offline mkferdy

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1477 on: February 29, 2016, 10:29:55 am »
Probably the same way a 15m+ tapeworm could be inside of you right now.

 ;D

Offline zebenzui

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1478 on: March 1, 2016, 02:31:07 am »
It's mad how irrationally fearful people in the UK get over harmless spiders.  They keep the house free from annoying and maybe even dangerous insects.  I can understand people being fearful of dangerous, venomous spiders, but over here I let them roam free.

I have an "arrangement" with two spiders in my room that keep to opposite ends on the ceiling. They take care of any annoying insects that get in, and I kill other spiders that are on 'their turf'.

Offline swoopy

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Re: Spiders....
« Reply #1479 on: March 2, 2016, 01:12:12 pm »
I have an "arrangement" with two spiders in my room that keep to opposite ends on the ceiling. They take care of any annoying insects that get in, and I kill other spiders that are on 'their turf'.

Do they know that they're not supposed to run around on your face and go inside your mouth at night time?