Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Sir Harvest Fields]

AYe, im actually eating and sleeping now which os good. Not really wanted a drink either, just dont fancy it. Drink is a ' nice ' way to escape rea;ity, the shitter is that when you sober up the fucker is still there. Swings and roundabouts...

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

AYe, im actually eating and sleeping now which os good. Not really wanted a drink either, just dont fancy it. Drink is a ' nice ' way to escape rea;ity, the shitter is that when you sober up the fucker is still there. Swings and roundabouts...

Great work mate! One day at a time and with Debs by your side you'll get there eventually. No doubt in my mind.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Doubt it mate, she is in the hospital getting butchered by some back street hack merchant as we speak

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Doubt it mate, she is in the hospital getting butchered by some back street hack merchant as we speak

She'll be back home soon I hope...? 

[Wigan Red]

AYe, im actually eating and sleeping now which os good. Not really wanted a drink either, just dont fancy it. Drink is a ' nice ' way to escape rea;ity, the shitter is that when you sober up the fucker is still there. Swings and roundabouts...

Brilliant stuff.

Been reading this thread without really commenting, I have been off drugs and alcohol for nearly 2 years now. Its not an easy ride but you will gradually start to see a drastic improvement in your life. My personal advice would be to attend regular AA meetings, in my case NA but the same concept, get to know like minded people and begin a whole new social life (Apart from the footy of course ;-)) I am certainly not preaching and maybe fellowships aren't for everyone, but im my case it has most definately worked up to now. Good luck with your journey.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Cheers, tried AA once and didnt like it. Just going to take it as it comes and keep busy. Its working well so far and yes Thomas, im off to pick her up in a while. It was keyhole surgery so in and out in a day.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Ah good! Give her my best when you pick her up, ok?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Will do mate.

[Jonathan Hall ☆☆☆☆☆☆]

Doubt it mate, she is in the hospital getting butchered by some back street hack merchant as we speak

When did you get a job in the hozzie?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

When they realised i look better in womens underwear than most of the nurses there I flash for cash, thats my new motto...

[Billy The Kid]

Well, its not much but im into my 2nd week without a drop of booze. Rough start but getting better. Just thought id update.

Carl.

Good lad. Keep it up

Let me share something with you that has really worked for me

I never look at it as "going cold turkey". I never ever see myself as being "on the dry". Or "on the wagon". I never ever ever see myself as "fighting it". Because I'll torture myself if I do that. In fact, I'd literally rather stick my cock in a meat blender rather than put myself through that shit on a daily basis. Fuck that for a laugh. I used to do it and it almost drove me bonkers mad. You see, all of those terms suggest that sobriety is some sort of arduous struggle or task. Like its a battle of sorts. And what do we know about addicts? We're wimpish by nature. We'll take the easy way out unless we completely alter the manner in which we think. That's why so many return to the bottle. "Poor me I'm an addict. Poor me I just want to be normal like everyone else". "Poor me why is this so hard?". "Poor me why can't I have the strength?" etc etc etc. Fucking bollox to all that. You'll end up at war with yourself

You'll never change things by fighting existing reality. To change things, you build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete

The above line is exactly how I go about it. When I first heard that maxim the light bulb in my head just lit up. Read it again. The first sentence explains the problem. The second sentence gives you the solution. It couldn't be simpler. Read it over and over. Right it down. Stick it on your wall. Scribble it on your cock. That's the solution right there. And the good thing is, you can build the new model to look whatever way you want it to. The choice is completely yours. Its a complete open catalog to do whatever the fuck you want. Which begs the question: why torture yourself when you can get busy creating whatever kind of new life you want for yourself? Its like cry wanking over an ex while the key to the playboy mansion is sitting in your back pocket. Get stuck into that flange Carl. Get stuck the fuck in lad. I'm knee deep in that shit these days.

[Billy The Kid]

By the way, I'm speaking metaphorically. I mean get stuck into the flange of life

I don't mean for you to do the rat on your bird while she's in the hospital

Just said I'd point that out to you you thick thong wearing twat

[Elli]

get stuck into the flange of life

Direct quote from Dead Poets' Society

[Corkboy]

Direct quote from Dead Poets' Society

This one maybe not so much.

Just said I'd point that out to you you thick thong wearing twat

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Hahahahahahahaha that made me chuckle Billy. The flange of life....Mmmmmmm


Anyway, i say cold turkey as it stops all the fannying about. I had my first solid nights sleep since i quit two weeks ago and im a lot busier in myself. Its also nice to be able to pop out at night and drive to town or wherever and not bother about ' oh ive had or want a drink ' . Its a damn sight easier not drinking and i feel better for it. Not had any urge for a beer and went to the club meet on Tuesday and even then i couldnt stomach the thought of a beer. Weird, but good. I was most happy on a J2O

[Maggie May]

Well that didn't last long.  Nearly four days.  Wow.  I was putting John's medical records into lovely new smart ring binders that I had ordered over the web - get me, come all over techno.  So I'm reading these thoroughly (I'd glanced through them before and found them upsetting, but a job's a job and must be done) - making sure they're proper order and not upside down - and yeah, some were.

Well fuck me sideways.  John's been put on the Liverpool Care Pathway (to which I am violently opposed) without my knowledge and consent.  His kunt of a sister is named as the first and only contact at any time.  It is the first time I have ever seen any of this paperwork which I am supposed to have been given.  I may forget things but I don't throw stuff away off hand. 

Well I can't go to the hospital and beat the living shite out of this kunt of a matron because she might be disobligeingly not there.  And I can't get a taxi to the kunt sister's house, put all her windows in, drag her into the street by the hair and kick the fuck out of her on account I would be arrested and my little kitty cat would be upset and wonder where I was (we are devoted to eachother).  So I got pissed out of my brains.

I don't want a new life.  I want my old life back.  And since I can't have that I want justice.  And vengence. 

Oh.  Did I mention that I know this woman's name?   

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Ahhh, the Liverpool Pathway Plan. They put my Dad on that , we didnt know what else to do. That was the only option we seem to have but at least we were asked.


I know you dont care for bullshitter hun so ill say this, you can beat the shit out of her and i cant say id blame you, but it will achieve nothing. It will just drag you down even more and it really isnt worth it. Justice is a better word than vengeance , but do it the right way. How come you were not named as well as the sister seeing as you were Mr Mays wife. Families hun, pain in the fucking arse.

How much are you drinking if you dont mind me asking.

[Maggie May]

Ahhh, the Liverpool Pathway Plan. They put my Dad on that , we didnt know what else to do. That was the only option we seem to have but at least we were asked.


I know you dont care for bullshitter hun so ill say this, you can beat the shit out of her and i cant say id blame you, but it will achieve nothing. It will just drag you down even more and it really isnt worth it. Justice is a better word than vengeance , but do it the right way. How come you were not named as well as the sister seeing as you were Mr Mays wife. Families hun, pain in the fucking arse.

How much are you drinking if you dont mind me asking.

Well putting my fist into these bitch kunts faces would give me enormous satisfaction and great joy.  But there is a price to be paid.  Angel (my kitty cat renamed from Becks - like I'm going to have a cat named Becks  ) would have to go to a cattery and be put into a cage and I cannot permit that.

And why do people (not just you sweetie) welcome the word Justice and shy away like a startled deer from the word Vengence?  Is it because one is civilised and acceptable and the other is not?  Not having a go at you darling Grandling.  I would never do that.

As to the naming.  Well they just secretly did what they wanted to do and swerved me.  I swear to Christ I am not making this up.  I have never received any paperwork which I should have been given, nor was I consulted nor received any mention other than I recollect when this kunt of a matron mentioning the LCP when I went explosive along the lines of "No fucking way". 

When I'm drinking, I'm drinking a bottle of gin a day - with tonic obviously.  And I may go into a second if the first one doesn't do the job. 

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I think i use Justice as its less fraught with damaging consequences hun. Justice is legal, twatting fuck out of someone is very dodgy ground. I must admit im not one to always follow that advice and do hand out my share of hit first think later scenarios but it always gets me more in the shit.


A bottle a day, ouch. How do you feel when drinking it though. I used to just zone out and ignore life as it were and get up and start again. Regardless of sane advice that will surely come along, i can quite easily see why you would drink and i cant really blame you. It seems to help in the short term, but thats the word hun. Seems...

What works for one doesnt work for another , so my advice is not great. Well, i dont have any actually, i just have me and if you need anything im on the end of this thread or a Pm hun. You have been here long enough to know there is loads of help from everyone on this site should you need it. Just dont go it alone Nana.

[Maggie May]

I think i use Justice as its less fraught with damaging consequences hun. Justice is legal, twatting fuck out of someone is very dodgy ground. I must admit im not one to always follow that advice and do hand out my share of hit first think later scenarios but it always gets me more in the shit.


A bottle a day, ouch. How do you feel when drinking it though. I used to just zone out and ignore life as it were and get up and start again. Regardless of sane advice that will surely come along, i can quite easily see why you would drink and i cant really blame you. It seems to help in the short term, but thats the word hun. Seems...

What works for one doesnt work for another , so my advice is not great. Well, i dont have any actually, i just have me and if you need anything im on the end of this thread or a Pm hun. You have been here long enough to know there is loads of help from everyone on this site should you need it. Just dont go it alone Nana.

Thank you Grandling.  Most kind.  I regret that I am one of those stupid kunts who need to tread a hard path.  Love you though sweetie.   

[Red Genius]

Hey Carl mate, how are you getting along? Can't believe i missed this thread *massive oversight*

And you too Maggie...two of my most favourite folk on here...hope you're both doing well.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Im doing good. Ive just decided to start my own teaching business , set up a website and ordered my business cards. Got fuck all to lose and if i was still drinking it would have been ' ahhh fuck it ill do it tomorrow ' . Decided to better myself and make an honest go of it, and if it fails at least i can say i tried and i tried whilst sober.

[Red Genius]

Im doing good. Ive just decided to start my own teaching business , set up a website and ordered my business cards. Got fuck all to lose and if i was still drinking it would have been ' ahhh fuck it ill do it tomorrow ' . Decided to better myself and make an honest go of it, and if it fails at least i can say i tried and i tried whilst sober.

On the ole 6 strings mate?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Yea, been playing long enough. Used to teach before but my old boss hasnt got back to me to see if i can setup with him again so fuck it, ill start my own. Plenty of opportunities if you know where to look. Im 10 miles away from him on a road straight to town so i can all the OOt'ers lol. Bloody wools...

[zero zero]

Decided to better myself and make an honest go of it, and if it fails at least i can say i tried and i tried whilst sober.

The best thing about having your own business? Knowing that you have no one else to blame. It's the most liberating thought.

If you need any help on marketing, I'm happy to try and help. Feel free to drop me a PM.

[Maggie May]

Im doing good. Ive just decided to start my own teaching business , set up a website and ordered my business cards. Got fuck all to lose and if i was still drinking it would have been ' ahhh fuck it ill do it tomorrow ' . Decided to better myself and make an honest go of it, and if it fails at least i can say i tried and i tried whilst sober.

Well that is one of the most wonderful things I've ever heard.  I am immensely proud of you my beloved Grandling.   

[L666KOP]

Litre and a half of Sminoff Espresso and I feel proper chilled.

I fucking hate myself for what I'm doing.

Sent my wife to bed 'cos she was falling asleep on the couch and I'm ploughing on through the 2nd bottle today.

8 bottles of Desperado, liter and a half of Vodka, and I'm still aware enough to type in a sensible manner. I'm nice and relaxed now she's gone to bed.
There's no demons.
What is wrong with me....


Aggghhhhh.

[Billy The Kid]

What is wrong with me....

I don't mean to be facetious or condescending, but the short answer is you're an alcoholic. You have an abnormal reaction to alcohol. When I take my missus out for a meal she has a glass of wine. And when she's finished drinking it, she has satisfied her desire for wine. She doesn't continue drinking. One could say that she has a normal reaction. I on the other hand would have an abnormal reaction. I go the other way. Upon finishing my first drink, my desire would amplify. Upon finishing the 2nd drink, my desire for more would increase further still. This then continues until I black out.

Its not the last drink that does the damage. Its the first one. I can't control the 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th drink. Or whatever ridiculous number I shovel down my throat. But I can control the first one. Simply by not taking it. Abstaining doesn't allow the abnormal reaction to be triggered. It wasn't the vodka that fucked you up today. It was the first mouthful of desperado. Its like a domino effect. If you knock over the first one, then its guaranteed that every domino in the line must fall. That's the "reaction". If you don't want them to fall, then don't knock over the first one.

[L666KOP]

I don't mean to be facetious or condescending, but the short answer is you're an alcoholic. You have an abnormal reaction to alcohol. When I take my missus out for a meal she has a glass of wine. And when she's finished drinking it, she has satisfied her desire for wine. She doesn't continue drinking. One could say that she has a normal reaction. I on the other hand would have an abnormal reaction. I go the other way. Upon finishing my first drink, my desire would amplify. Upon finishing the 2nd drink, my desire for more would increase further still. This then continues until I black out.

Its not the last drink that does the damage. Its the first one. I can't control the 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th drink. Or whatever ridiculous number I shovel down my throat. But I can control the first one. Simply by not taking it. Abstaining doesn't allow the abnormal reaction to be triggered. It wasn't the vodka that fucked you up today. It was the first mouthful of desperado. Its like a domino effect. If you knock over the first one, then its guaranteed that every domino in the line must fall. That's the "reaction". If you don't want them to fall, then don't knock over the first one.

Am i ?

Monday to Friday I  don't touch it Billy.

Friday 6pm I start, and 12 bottles of Desperados, and 3 bottles of flavoured Vodka later it's Saturday night. 
I'm typing like a pisshead now mate, continually 'self auto correcting'.

Fuck it, cant hide it, im trollied.
der der der er der der derrrrrrrr.

[Johnnyboy1973]

Am i ?

Many people have many definitions and many of us find solace if we discover we don't fit one of those categories.

I was routinely told that because I didn't wake up wanting a drink, then I wasn't an alcoholic. The fact that at that stage I couldn't go to a pub and have one drink was irrelevant.

A simple phrase often bandied about is if you think you have a problem with alcohol you probably do.

For me, you just have to ask yourself whether the booze controls you or you, it?

I've done your situation as well. I would go three weeks without a proper session. But, I was always building towards it - that oblivion - the shit or bust type of drinking.

Come the end I was down to three pints on a Friday night for about six months until one Friday night when I woke up the following morning with little recollection of the previous night.

Now, they might not fit everyones little categories about what constitutes an alcoholic. But, it's clear I was never controlling the alcohol.

[L666KOP]

Many people have many definitions and many of us find solace if we discover we don't fit one of those categories.

I was routinely told that because I didn't wake up wanting a drink, then I wasn't an alcoholic. The fact that at that stage I couldn't go to a pub and have one drink was irrelevant.

A simple phrase often bandied about is if you think you have a problem with alcohol you probably do.

For me, you just have to ask yourself whether the booze controls you or you, it?

I've done your situation as well. I would go three weeks without a proper session. But, I was always building towards it - that oblivion - the shit or bust type of drinking.

Come the end I was down to three pints on a Friday night for about six months until one Friday night when I woke up the following morning with little recollection of the previous night.

Now, they might not fit everyones little categories about what constitutes an alcoholic. But, it's clear I was never controlling the alcohol.

Twat.

If that post want't personal Jonnny I'd  have tears in my eyes now.
I'm a weekend alcoholic I suppose ?

Dry Monday to Friday, but not during the weekend.I think it's a game, but I know what I shift it's not.

Typical 'workking bloke' I suppose, clean from mon-fri evening, pissed threafter......

[Johnnyboy1973]

Twat.

If that post want't personal Jonnny I'd  have tears in my eyes now.
I'm a weekend alcoholic I suppose ?

Dry Monday to Friday, but not during the weekend.I think it's a game, but I know what I shift it's not.

Typical 'workking bloke' I suppose, clean from mon-fri evening, pissed threafter......

The closest recognised definition is what is known as a "functional alcoholic" and it is probably more common than you think.

[Maggie May]

I want to be sober I love being sober.  I am a better person when I am sober.   I do try so hard to be like normal people But I keep coming across horrible things and I look to the drink to seek peace quiet and oblivion from the torment.  It is not my choice to live like this.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Billy, as usual, is spot on. Swerve that first drink and its a lot easier. I would love a pint with a pub lunch today but i cant trust myself to just one so im not going out for lunch. Avoid the stuff where possible and it is a lot easier to deal with. I know im an alcoholic and yep, people tend to think of one as someone who drank from waking to collapsing, well lets be honest here, thats bullshit. My sisters know im one but they struggled to admit that one of them has a ' dependency ' as it were on wine when i asked her if she has a problem when she said, and i quote ' god, i gotta have a bottle of wine after work or i cant relax ' . Hmmm, so your state of relaxation is dependent on alcohol and you struggle to relax without it. You call it what you want, i call it a dependence , not as severe as some but its still there.


L666 you are an alcoholic mate, functioning you maybe during the week , then Billys domino reference is spot on. With me it was first thing in the morning when i was at my worst , yours is at the weekend its just different times of the week. Have you thought about not going out and seeing how that goes or can you not cope without a drink, or the thought of not going out and getting pissed? Do you look forward to the weekend and its potential for getting fucked up? Honest questions mate


Whats normal Nana? I tried that , what i thought was ' normal ' and its fucking scary You have a lot to deal with at the moment so its hard to know what may work for you as its different for all of us. I get the fact it gets you away from the shit in your life, and thats what started many people off on this old road it seems. Have you thought of maybe getting away for a few days and taking a time out with family or friends , change of scenery maybe? Get away from familiar surroundings and try and clear your head hun?

[Billy The Kid]

Am i ?

Monday to Friday I  don't touch it Billy.

So, when you don't touch it, the chain reaction doesn't occur

When you do touch it, its desperado's followed vodka

Which is congruent with what I mentioned previously

Just don't take the first drink

[L666KOP]

L666 you are an alcoholic mate, functioning you maybe during the week , then Billys domino reference is spot on. With me it was first thing in the morning when i was at my worst , yours is at the weekend its just different times of the week. Have you thought about not going out and seeing how that goes or can you not cope without a drink, or the thought of not going out and getting pissed? Do you look forward to the weekend and its potential for getting fucked up? Honest questions mate

I don't go out Carl.
Always in the house, and yes I do look forward to the weekend, not particularly to get fucked up, but I look forward to having a few drinks.

I just don't know when/how to stop.

It's probably very naive of me, but in my head I have no problem. I don't have any interest in the ale during the week, won't even touch the stuff on Sunday either. But come Friday teatime it's open season.

[Red Genius]

L666KOP

That sort of behaviour was *exactly* the reason i lost my partner of 9 years.

Just fucking knock it on the head mate, trust me...it just is not worth it.

[Maggie May]

Whats normal Nana? I tried that , what i thought was ' normal ' and its fucking scary You have a lot to deal with at the moment so its hard to know what may work for you as its different for all of us. I get the fact it gets you away from the shit in your life, and thats what started many people off on this old road it seems. Have you thought of maybe getting away for a few days and taking a time out with family or friends , change of scenery maybe? Get away from familiar surroundings and try and clear your head hun?
[/qud ote]

You are very kind.  I fucked off what passes as my family several years ago and Mr May's rapacious hangers on last July if memory serves me correctly. So its my delight to talk to a select few of friends on the phone.   And I will never leave my Angel kitty cat. She slept on  my chest this morning.  I wept with delight that now anyone would care about me enough to do such a thing.   

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Whats normal Nana? I tried that , what i thought was ' normal ' and its fucking scary You have a lot to deal with at the moment so its hard to know what may work for you as its different for all of us. I get the fact it gets you away from the shit in your life, and thats what started many people off on this old road it seems. Have you thought of maybe getting away for a few days and taking a time out with family or friends , change of scenery maybe? Get away from familiar surroundings and try and clear your head hun?
[/qud ote]


There is always a place to get away here with myself and my good lady for you and your kitty should you need it hun for a break.
You are very kind.  I fucked off what passes as my family several years ago and Mr May's rapacious hangers on last July if memory serves me correctly. So its my delight to talk to a select few of friends on the phone.   And I will never leave my Angel kitty cat. She slept on  my chest this morning.  I wept with delight that now anyone would care about me enough to do such a thing.   

[Billy The Kid]

Monday to Friday I  don't touch it Billy.

Let me ask you something.

Lets say Billy is sitting at home one day doing his usual thing. He decides to open a bag of peanuts. After eating the first handful of nuts his throat starts to swell up really bad. He knows something is wrong so he goes straight to the hospital. The doctor reassures him that he'll be fine. The swelling in his throat eventually subsides. Then Billy says to the doctor "fucking hell doc, that was a scary experience. What the fuck just happened?" The doctor says "well Billy, you had an abnormal reaction to the peanuts. So Billy says "how can I ensure that this never happens again? is there a cure?" The doctor replies "Yes, the cure is simply don't eat nuts. You're allergic to them

The following day is Monday. He doesn't eat nuts that day, or on Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and Friday. Then Saturday comes, and he really feels like having some nuts. Boom. Without even thinking he has himself a pack. And as sure as night turns into day, his throat starts to swell up. He says "uh oh, I better get to the docs again. So he goes. Same thing happens. He asks the doctor the same question. This time the doctor says "I told you last time you dumb c*nt. The fucking cure is simple. Just don't eat the fucking peanuts. You have an abnormal reaction to them

Same thing happens again. Monday through Friday Billy doesn't eat peanuts. Then Saturday comes again and he wants peanuts again. Now let me ask you, what do you think he should do? What happens if he eats the peanuts? Will he avoid having his abnormal reaction because he stayed off the nuts Monday through Friday? Does the fact that he spent 5 days in abstinence mean that he no longer has a nut allergy? Or do you think he'll end up back at the doctors being called a dumb c*nt again, and be instructed to just not eat the peanuts?

I'm inclined to err on the side of logic and say, it doesn't matter how long he abstains. You can bet your bottom dollar that if he eats those nuts he's going to wind up at the doctors with the very same symptom from the very same allergy. And again, the remedy will be exactly the same: Don't eat peanuts. He can even go to 20 different doctors if he wants. They are all going to tell him the same thing: Don't eat peanuts.

Do you see that telling me that you stay off drink Monday to Friday means nothing? Absolutely nothing? Do you see that it means about as much as me staying off nuts Monday to Friday? Do you see that it would be somewhat foolish of me to say "are you sure I have an allergy to nuts doc? I mean, I don't eat them Monday through Friday". I think its safe to say that if I eat the nuts then its going to be the same cycle all over again. Because it doesn't matter what day of the week it is. Or how long its been since my last nut. I hope you see the sentiment in what I'm saying. And I say it all to help you. Good luck