Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[TepidT2O]

Hi guys. To be blunt I have reduced my intake, also my percentage of what I drink and my LFT score was 1646. I was pissed off as im trying to do the right thing. I rarely go to the pub, I force myself to eat anything and the detox doctor said im on the verge of organ failure. I tried a day on and then a day off alcohol and I was on my hands and knees to get to the toilet. I go to group therapy which is ok, I go for long walks , I do crosswords and puzzles to keep me occupied but still my organs are basically fucked. I take my meds, I have a new place of my own , so im struggling to know why its all going pear shaped.

I hope you are all doing better. Best of luck.

Carl.

Good to hear from you again Carl.

Great to hear you've got a new place!

With your liver function, I reckon that your damaged liver is less able to deal with alcohol than before, so even moderate amounts affect it more.

If you can stop, then do.  Even if you do a dry month for charity (or similar) as it will give the liver time to repair a little.
I know it's not as easy as that though..

We all miss you on here though!

[Kop 81]

Friday night and I am drinking milk.  Proper weird this but nice on a strange kind of way.

Had such a nice day, need to keep this up though as its only been 5 days dry.

[AndyInVA]

^ she's a complete alcoholic.

SHF, sorry to hear that fella. All you can do is keep trying to do the right things 

Holy fuck. Just read this piece. There is no question she is a total alkie and frankly I think if you are alcohol dependent then you are an alcoholic.

My quick test is if alcohol is a negative affect on your life.

Clearly in her case it is.

[Corkboy]

Is there a difference between being alcohol dependent and being and alcoholic? My (now 76 yr old) Mother in Law is definitely alcohol dependent, but is she an alcoholic?

Both, either, who cares. She sounds like a blight on your life. I'm sorry you have to put up with that.

[rob1966]

Holy fuck. Just read this piece. There is no question she is a total alkie and frankly I think if you are alcohol dependent then you are an alcoholic.

My quick test is if alcohol is a negative affect on your life.

Clearly in her case it is.

I asked as people have pulled me when I've said she an alcoholic. I know her sister was told by a woman who'd been watching her on holiday that she was an alcoholic.

My wife used to be so close to her Mum, even she can't stand her now. There's still that mother/daughter bond, but she stays away as much as she can and we don't ask her along with us when we go out.If it was solely up to me she'd never set foot in our house again or see the kids.

[Corkboy]

I asked as people have pulled me when I've said she an alcoholic. I know her sister was told by a woman who'd been watching her on holiday that she was an alcoholic.

My wife used to be so close to her Mum, even she can't stand her now. There's still that mother/daughter bond, but she stays away as much as she can and we don't ask her along with us when we go out.If it was solely up to me she'd never set foot in our house again or see the kids.

It happens, and if you decide you want her to take a part in your lives, you need structure. No going on family holidays to boozeville. Regulated visits. Tell her she is welcome at a particular time for a set number of hours, and that you'll pick her up and check she's not fucked up etc. If she's in your house, I'd let her have beer and nothing stronger (being realistic, you don't want her jangling). Discuss this with her if you can catch her sober. You're dealing with someone who has an illness.

I knew a successful doctor whose wife got so bad, she ended up living in a small flat, drinking her days away while he worked and paid for people to mind the kids. He would call her before they visited to see if she was coherent. She was a bright, fun girl before that. People get all sorts of fucked up from drink.

[rob1966]

It happens, and if you decide you want her to take a part in your lives, you need structure. No going on family holidays to boozeville. Regulated visits. Tell her she is welcome at a particular time for a set number of hours, and that you'll pick her up and check she's not fucked up etc. If she's in your house, I'd let her have beer and nothing stronger (being realistic, you don't want her jangling). Discuss this with her if you can catch her sober. You're dealing with someone who has an illness.

I knew a successful doctor whose wife got so bad, she ended up living in a small flat, drinking her days away while he worked and paid for people to mind the kids. He would call her before they visited to see if she was coherent. She was a bright, fun girl before that. People get all sorts of fucked up from drink.

She denies that she ever gets drunk. She bruises really easily so, as it took 4 of us to get her in the car in the last incident, she was covered in black bruises. She couldn't go out as she looked a mess, so sent texts to the ones in the pub telling them she'd had a fall - she's not going to admit to being destroyed. The only friend she's got left said to my wife that her Mum was telling her she wasn't drunk, the wife put her straight on that. When she's away she will blame diet coke, food, the heat, whatever whatever rather than admit its drinking that's done it.

As for beer at ours I've bought Becks Blue and told the wife to give that to her if she wants a drink. She doesn't eat much, a small breakfast, so even after a couple of beers you can see her eyes go.

[LiamG]

Denial, classic trait of an alcoholic along with lying, blaming others! and so on

[Billy The Kid]

Very tragic story Rob. It must be tough to deal with

God speed

[Kop 81]

I've got a mate who deludes himself into thinking that drinking "just a few times every week" is as good as giving it up.

When he does drink, he still drinks that cheap and nasty cider which is 7%.  He is still killing himself as he pours 8-12 cans down his neck every session.

I told him today that's it's been nearly 7 days since I last touched alcohol.  He didn't say well done or give me any support - he basically sounded bitter about it.  He is one of those people that wants to give up but won't admit it.

[sms1986]

Well done for seven days, I've not drunk since last Wednesday (I had a couple of pints) and don't intend to drink again until at least Saturday (and even then at far more moderate levels than I normally do). I think trying to stick to a weekly budget where any alcohol is included in the food budget along with being honest with my MyFitnessPal diary when I drink, has helped me.

Hopefully your friend realises what he's doing to himself, but people are often their own worst enemy.

[LiamG]

I've got a mate who deludes himself into thinking that drinking "just a few times every week" is as good as giving it up.

When he does drink, he still drinks that cheap and nasty cider which is 7%.  He is still killing himself as he pours 8-12 cans down his neck every session.

I told him today that's it's been nearly 7 days since I last touched alcohol.  He didn't say well done or give me any support - he basically sounded bitter about it.  He is one of those people that wants to give up but won't admit it.

They never will admit that they need to quit completely, My ex who had a problem always thought she would be fine just cutting down but then she will have one mad binge and hell would break loose!

[Billy The Kid]

I've got a mate who deludes himself into thinking that drinking "just a few times every week" is as good as giving it up.

When he does drink, he still drinks that cheap and nasty cider which is 7%.  He is still killing himself as he pours 8-12 cans down his neck every session.

I told him today that's it's been nearly 7 days since I last touched alcohol.  He didn't say well done or give me any support - he basically sounded bitter about it.  He is one of those people that wants to give up but won't admit it.

Yep. It's pretty tragic, isn't it? It's a cuntishly cunning disease. I've said it in here before, If I was an active addict (as in someone who still indulges in substance abuse) then I'd much rather be a heroin addict. At least heroin will kill you relatively quickly. Alcoholism on the other hand, is just a long, drawn out, painful slippery slope to a miserable guilt ridden death. 

I genuinely feel sorry for those who con themselves into thinking that they're on the road to recovery because they've managed to reduce their intake. As I said, a cuntishly cunning disease

[Kop 81]

Completely agree Billy.  I lose a friend to heroin a few years back, he was only into it for 18 months.  He basically quit but then went back to it and his body couldn't handle the high dose.

But yes, I know people who have yellow skin yet still live at my local, drinking every morning, noon and evening.

They don't work.  I have never understood how they afford it to be honest.

[Billy The Kid]

They don't work.  I have never understood how they afford it to be honest.

I know lots of people like that

[Kop 81]

Day 12.  Really enjoying this 'new me' although I do get pangs of "Shall I treat myself to a few beers tonight?" for being good!

I am getting lots of walking done, it's helping a lot.  I've lost a fair bit of weight already too.

Onwards and upwards.

[Kop 81]

Still haven't had a drink since I quit.  I actually look forward to stuff again that doesn't involve alcohol!

[LiamG]

Well done mate good going keep it up 😀

[Billy The Kid]

Still haven't had a drink since I quit.  I actually look forward to stuff again that doesn't involve alcohol!

Wait until you get to around the 3rd week of not drinking. Your libido will go through the roof

You'll be wanting to ride everything in sight

[Kop 81]

Thanks both.

Sobriety Clock app says it's been 29 days since I've had a drink.  I've lost lots of weight, I'm as horny as a rabbit in Spring and I'm getting loads of exercise.

I feel like a new person.  I am a new person.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

that's brilliant news mate. well done

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I guess an update is due.

Im going back to detox in the Wirral soon. Funding has been approved and i have groups, counsellors, friends etc so im looking forward to this. Should be in a few weeks hopefully. I have put a lot in place to stop me being in this position again and i have so much to gain from being abstinent. Ill keep you all posted.

I hope you are all ok.

Carl

[Billy The Kid]

Good luck

[TepidT2O]

I guess an update is due.

Im going back to detox in the Wirral soon. Funding has been approved and i have groups, counsellors, friends etc so im looking forward to this. Should be in a few weeks hopefully. I have put a lot in place to stop me being in this position again and i have so much to gain from being abstinent. Ill keep you all posted.

I hope you are all ok.

Carl

Best of luck fella.

[John C]

Good luck Carl.

[Peabee]

All the best, Carl.

[spen71]

Good luck Carl

I'm nearly 6 years sober now and had a massive reminder on Monday, on why I can never drink again.    A mate of mine died aged 48 of this terrible illness.    Multiple organ failure!    He had a good life before the alcoholism progressed past a certain level.    Own carpet fitting business,   A beautiful wife and kids ,   Own house and a nice car.   Lost the lot and in the end lost his life

RIP Mark

[Billy The Kid]

A mate of mine died aged 48 of this terrible illness.    Multiple organ failure!    He had a good life before the alcoholism progressed past a certain level.    Own carpet fitting business,   A beautiful wife and kids ,   Own house and a nice car.   Lost the lot and in the end lost his life

RIP Mark

Sorry to hear that. 48 is way to early to go

[Sir Harvest Fields]

just got mtg date for detox guys. Its this Thursday in Liverpool .Thanks for your kind words.

[the good half]

^^
Nice one.
Hope it goes well.

[TepidT2O]

just got mtg date for detox guys. Its this Thursday in Liverpool .Thanks for your kind words.

Good luck mate.

[SamAteTheRedAcid]

just got mtg date for detox guys. Its this Thursday in Liverpool .Thanks for your kind words.

Good luck SHF, hope it works out.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

just got mtg date for detox guys. Its this Thursday in Liverpool .Thanks for your kind words.

Hope you're doing well mate. 

[Billy The Kid]

just got mtg date for detox guys. Its this Thursday in Liverpool .Thanks for your kind words.

Hope you get it sorted this time

[Sir Harvest Fields]

It went very well. It was in Liverpool and was just for alcohol and drug addicts. no mental health patients like the other 3 so the focus was purely on detoxification and group sessions etc. It The difference in support in the 2 ' centres ' is amazing. Fermoy unit detox you, you do nothing for 2 weeks and they open the doors and let you go.  Birchwood on the other hand actually spoke and got involved with an after treatment plan with my keyworker at my local recovery centre and have been excellent. Feel far more positive this time and i have lots to work on and different things to do in different situations should they arise.


Feel great and not wanting/needing a drink to just function is a great feeling. Sleep and appetite is back, guitar playing has improved massively and ive a desire to get up and do even the most mundane of tasks. Im allowed to use my partners car now as im alcohol free which is nice and i also can now look forward to getting back on my motorbike.

Im still mortified that i must have been driving 4-6 times over the limit everyday even though i felt fine. It was a fucking shock to find that out. Never again, im going to be Des from now on


Thanks guys , you have been a great help for me.

Hope you are all doing well as well. Take care.

Carl.

[Johnnyboy1973]

Happy for you Carl.

[TepidT2O]

It's great to hear you so positive Carl.

[Peabee]

Great to hear.   

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Great news Carl. Fingers crossed over here...

[TepidT2O]

Fucking hell.

Forgot to call you a one eyed cat fucker...