Topic: Dating thesedays..

[PeterJM]

I'm in a similar position. Maybe we are speaking to the same girl 

We very well could be haha

[AndyMuller]

Went on a date this weekend, back to hers, couldn't get it up as was too pissed.

Any tips on how to get going when drunk?

[AndyMuller]

Going out with this girl for a while now and she literally never offers to pay for anything.

Am I being too 'new school' and thinking she should at least get a round in?

[Draex]

Went on a date this weekend, back to hers, couldn't get it up as was too pissed.

Any tips on how to get going when drunk?

Going out with this girl for a while now and she literally never offers to pay for anything.

Am I being too 'new school' and thinking she should at least get a round in?

Same girl?

She's making you pay lad.

[Barneylfc∗]

She should definitely be paying her way.

I was out with the missus on Saturday for a rare night to ourselves. I paid for dinner and drinks in the restaurant. Got the first round in at the pub. Wasn't until I asked her if she's going to the bar did she get her card out and I'd to go and get the next pint myself 

[AndyInVA]

Going out with this girl for a while now and she literally never offers to pay for anything.

Am I being too 'new school' and thinking she should at least get a round in?

Depends.

What is your relative income. Do you like paying for everything.

I alwyas used to like paying for stuff for the first few dates as it made me feel good. If you get serious and start sleeping together then I preferred if she offered to pay for things here and there. I made more than any of my dates, but I liked the thought that she offered.

Ultimately if paying for everything is not for you then you just have to make a choice. I never liked that I paid for everything with some ladies and so I treated the relationship accordingly. Wouldnt go anywhere nice, enjoyed the dates and the sleep overs and coasted it until it inenevitably ended.

[child-in-time]

Going out with this girl for a while now and she literally never offers to pay for anything.

Am I being too 'new school' and thinking she should at least get a round in?

Nope. She should at least offer to split it halfway or pay her part of the bill. Whether you take it or not, its up to you. But not offering at all shows a sense of entitlement.

[AndyInVA]

But not offering at all shows a sense of entitlement.

Well put.

[AndyMuller]

Thoughts on dating someone who already has a child when you don't? Is it a no-no, a dealbreaker or is it overblown and it works?

[Barneylfc∗]

Thoughts on dating someone who already has a child when you don't? Is it a no-no, a dealbreaker or is it overblown and it works?

What's your opinion on it?

Lots to consider, but obviously depends on how well you know the girl and the kid at this stage.
Is the dad involved? Is he going to be a c*nt when he finds out his ex is seeing someone? If so it's not worth the hassle.
Is the kid a c*nt? If so it's not worth the hassle.
How would you see yourself in 5 years with the kid? If you've no interest in kids at all then it's not worth the hassle.

[tubby]

How would you see yourself in 5 years with the kid? If you've no interest in kids at all then it's not worth the hassle.

This is it for me.  Do you want to be a father to someone else's kid?

I've never wanted kids so when I was in the dating game, this was always an easy one for me.  But I do remember one girl who still wanted to meet in real life after talking online, despite her wanting kids and me saying that I would never.  We had a nice little date, got on well, but then had to go our separate ways at the end of it.  Weird.

[Ray K]

Is the kid a c*nt? If so it's not worth the hassle.

It's a wonder that there isn't a 'Dear Barney' advice column in the likes of Take a Break magazine.

[Barneylfc∗]

It's a wonder that there isn't a 'Dear Barney' advice column in the likes of Take a Break magazine.

 

Talking from experience. My girlfriend's eldest is a monumental c*nt and I hate him. Had I known from the off how much of a disruption to the whole family that he is I would've walked away at the start.

[AndyMuller]

What's your opinion on it?

Lots to consider, but obviously depends on how well you know the girl and the kid at this stage.
Is the dad involved? Is he going to be a c*nt when he finds out his ex is seeing someone? If so it's not worth the hassle.
Is the kid a c*nt? If so it's not worth the hassle.
How would you see yourself in 5 years with the kid? If you've no interest in kids at all then it's not worth the hassle.

The girl is boss and we get on great, the kid is only 5 so she is going through a bit of a tough time and can be moody.

The dad is involved but isn't a c*nt by all accounts.

I've never had any interest in kids but I do really like the girl I'm seeing so its a tough one.

[rob1966]

Thoughts on dating someone who already has a child when you don't? Is it a no-no, a dealbreaker or is it overblown and it works?

I never really had a hankering for kids, but wasn't averse to having kids, but did date someone who had a 14yr old and a 6 yr old, didn't bother me at all - the kids were ace and we got on fine, just didn't work out between me and her.

If you're really into her, unless the Dad is a problem and you say he isn't, then go for it, just be a mate to the kid rather than a new Dad

[ToneLa]

Thoughts on dating someone who already has a child when you don't? Is it a no-no, a dealbreaker or is it overblown and it works?

Who cares? It's different for everyone. Up to you mate. And if this someone is on the market so to speak, they find it OK

Don't put a problem where none exists.

I don't want kids, but I'd look after a kid already here. My partner doesn't want them. If I was single, I'd possibly consider it - I have dated women with kids before - but really, it is secondary to the love; and the couple of women I've dated who had kids, the kids were not front and centre! I didn't even meet the kid of one of 'em

As long as it's not "I am only seeking a father replacement" level up-front-and-personal I can't imagine it being a dealbreaker. Kids should not be exposed to loads of strangers in a pseudoparental role, ideally

The girl is boss and we get on great, the kid is only 5 so she is going through a bit of a tough time and can be moody.

The dad is involved but isn't a c*nt by all accounts.

I've never had any interest in kids but I do really like the girl I'm seeing so its a tough one.

So, what's tough about it?

Unless you hate kids, just see her for a bit - see what happens. You're dating her

[jambutty]

There's no advantage to having kids these days.

It's all sacrifice, hard work, expensive, no appreciation and lots of aggro for 20 years each.

Keep it casual unless you need the other stuff.

Be her refuge from the socks and underwear, not part of it.

[Samie]

Thoughts on dating someone who already has a child when you don't? Is it a no-no, a dealbreaker or is it overblown and it works?

Andy, you can show the kid around your school mate. 

[Barneylfc∗]

There's no advantage to having kids these days.

It's all sacrifice, hard work, expensive, no appreciation and lots of aggro for 20 years each.

Keep it casual unless you need the other stuff.

Be her refuge from the socks and underwear, not part of it.

Couldn't disagree more (except for the expensive bit). Having kids is amazing. I wouldn't swap any of my 3 for anything.

[Sir Capon of Debaser]

Thoughts on dating someone who already has a child when you don't? Is it a no-no, a dealbreaker or is it overblown and it works?

Sounds boss. Think of all them BBQs and parties you get invited to where you can sit with all the other Dads and Mums talk about Little Georges first shit on a potty and how many stars Freya got for spelling half the word ‘it’ right at school. Buying all ya clothes at marks and Spencer’s looking like something out of Caddyshack and next thing you know You’ll be putting up pictures on ya fridge of some fella with 3 fingers on each hand an a smile like Chris Cornell in Black Hole sun with some family that you’ll never really be part of and have to lie to them kids and tell them you love their pics. to be honest I don’t know how you can live with yaself Andy. You horrible bastard. Living to kids like that. How could you do it. Those kids have no Father and you come into their lives and do this? Fucking despicable. Christ.

Saying that,  The best thing about it is, when everyone finds out they’re not your kids, it’ll be ‘He can’t have kids him, he’s one of them jaffas. My husband saw him at the baths showering and said he’s got no plums. The Freak should be in a fucking Circus’

Has she got nice tits?

[Samie]

 
Capon, personal experience of this tale mate?

[AndyMuller]

Sounds boss. Think of all them BBQs and parties you get invited to where you can sit with all the other Dads and Mums talk about Little Georges first shit on a potty and how many stars Freya got for spelling half the word ‘it’ right at school. Buying all ya clothes at marks and Spencer’s looking like something out of Caddyshack and next thing you know You’ll be putting up pictures on ya fridge of some fella with 3 fingers on each hand an a smile like Chris Cornell in Black Hole sun with some family that you’ll never really be part of and have to lie to them kids and tell them you love their pics. to be honest I don’t know how you can live with yaself Andy. You horrible bastard. Living to kids like that. How could you do it. Those kids have no Father and you come into their lives and do this? Fucking despicable. Christ.

Saying that,  The best thing about it is, when everyone finds out they’re not your kids, it’ll be ‘He can’t have kids him, he’s one of them jaffas. My husband saw him at the baths showering and said he’s got no plums. The Freak should be in a fucking Circus’

Has she got nice tits?

Fuck sake la

 

[jambutty]

Couldn't disagree more (except for the expensive bit). Having kids is amazing. I wouldn't swap any of my 3 for anything.

How old are they?

[rob1966]

Sounds boss. Think of all them BBQs and parties you get invited to where you can sit with all the other Dads and Mums talk about Little Georges first shit on a potty and how many stars Freya got for spelling half the word ‘it’ right at school. Buying all ya clothes at marks and Spencer’s looking like something out of Caddyshack and next thing you know You’ll be putting up pictures on ya fridge of some fella with 3 fingers on each hand an a smile like Chris Cornell in Black Hole sun with some family that you’ll never really be part of and have to lie to them kids and tell them you love their pics. to be honest I don’t know how you can live with yaself Andy. You horrible bastard. Living to kids like that. How could you do it. Those kids have no Father and you come into their lives and do this? Fucking despicable. Christ.

Saying that,  The best thing about it is, when everyone finds out they’re not your kids, it’ll be ‘He can’t have kids him, he’s one of them jaffas. My husband saw him at the baths showering and said he’s got no plums. The Freak should be in a fucking Circus’

Has she got nice tits?

[afc tukrish]

Only surprised Capon asked about the jugs last and the shit first, thought it would have been other way round...

[Barneylfc∗]

How old are they?

17, 6, 1

[rob1966]

Only surprised Capon asked about the jugs last and the shit first, thought it would have been other way round...

Big tits win over anything

[jambutty]

17, 6, 1

The little ones are lovely. Best years of your life. The only reward, but it take ages and lasts about 13 years.

I've got 5 grandkids, aged 2 to 12.

The big ones are 32, 34, 40, 42.

Aggro, ingrate City.

Hope you're luckier.

[Claire.]

I've never wanted kids so when I was in the dating game, this was always an easy one for me.  But I do remember one girl who still wanted to meet in real life after talking online, despite her wanting kids and me saying that I would never.  We had a nice little date, got on well, but then had to go our separate ways at the end of it.  Weird.

Cos people who want kids think they can change your mind, like they believe it's not an actual choice and everyone secretly wants to follow the same path. Shocker folks, we're not all the same.

[tubby]

Cos people who want kids think they can change your mind, like they believe it's not an actual choice and everyone secretly wants to follow the same path. Shocker folks, we're not all the same.

Yeah at the end of the date she was all, "and you're SURE you don't want kids?".

[Claire.]

Yeah at the end of the date she was all, "and you're SURE you don't want kids?".

least she didn't keep it quiet and go for the trap!

[Red Viper]

Cos people who want kids think they can change your mind, like they believe it's not an actual choice and everyone secretly wants to follow the same path. Shocker folks, we're not all the same.

I always say this about relationships/marriage that kids is an absolute dealbreaker and by that I mean if one wants kids and the other doesn't then it's simply never going to work. Now, yes, relationships should be about compromise but when it comes to such a life altering decision I don't think either person should compromise because it's more than likely going to lead to one person being miserable and resenting the other.

Having kids is simply not for everyone and that's alright and I'm glad that it's becoming more and more socially acceptable for people to choose not to have them, particularly among younger generations.

I say all this as a father of two young girls who I would do absolutely anything for and love to bits but am realistic and honest enough to admit that being a father to them is fucking hard work.

[Claire.]

Having kids is simply not for everyone and that's alright and I'm glad that it's becoming more and more socially acceptable for people to choose not to have them, particularly among younger generations.

100%, it's something you've got to be all in on and the choice thing is very important because it should never be a thing you do because it's expected, requires masses of patience and selflessness, not everyone is built like that.

[Charlie Adams fried egg]

We have kids, but it drives me mad when people that do assume everyone’s the same in wanting kids without knowing peoples’ individual circumstances.

I’ve cringed when I’ve heard women say to other women things like “ the clocks ticking” etc.

Some people without them want them desperately and those type of questions don’t help. Others have made their mind up that they don’t want them full stop.

I wish people would keep their noses out of stuff like that & think before they speak.

[jambutty]

How many parents on here have ever had one of their kids say "Thanks for putting up with all my shit for all those years."

Answers on a postcard.



*wtf is a postcard?

[ToneLa]

I told mine thanks on many an occasion.

[Henry Gale]

Forget kids and relationships! Just smash and dash 

[God's Left Peg]

Sounds boss. Think of all them BBQs and parties you get invited to where you can sit with all the other Dads and Mums talk about Little Georges first shit on a potty and how many stars Freya got for spelling half the word ‘it’ right at school. Buying all ya clothes at marks and Spencer’s looking like something out of Caddyshack and next thing you know You’ll be putting up pictures on ya fridge of some fella with 3 fingers on each hand an a smile like Chris Cornell in Black Hole sun with some family that you’ll never really be part of and have to lie to them kids and tell them you love their pics. to be honest I don’t know how you can live with yaself Andy. You horrible bastard. Living to kids like that. How could you do it. Those kids have no Father and you come into their lives and do this? Fucking despicable. Christ.

Saying that,  The best thing about it is, when everyone finds out they’re not your kids, it’ll be ‘He can’t have kids him, he’s one of them jaffas. My husband saw him at the baths showering and said he’s got no plums. The Freak should be in a fucking Circus’

Has she got nice tits?

[jambutty]

I told mine thanks on many an occasion.

We already know you're remarkable. 

[Crosby Nick]

Yeah at the end of the date she was all, "and you're SURE you don't want kids?".

You must have made a good first impression young man.