It's funny that you could pick out nearly any of those irrelevant (and blatantly false) 'attributes' on that brochure and have a good laugh at them, but still the winner is 'charismatic'. You fucking what, mate? You can pretend to be as young and injury-free and 'cool' as you want (none of which are true), but charismatic?! Oh yeah, he's a right laugh is Mikey Owen. He keeps telling this killer joke over and over about how he's the best striker in England. Oh, wait.
I'm glad he's found his home there because there aren't many players better suited to Man Utd than him - he's a horrible little rat and I wish nothing but the worst on him.