Topic: Stop fucking arguing

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Has anyone seen themselves getting stuck in arguments that most of the time you only have a passing interest in anyway?

I've been trying to restrain myself from commenting/arguing about every single bloody thing and at long last I think I'm slowly, slowly getting there.

This is the trouble with 'always on' social media.

Twenty years ago, you'd see something in the paper or on the TV and think "Fuck off" or "What a knobend" and that would be it. You might get talking about it to your mates in the pub if the subject came up, but that would largely be it. If you cared strongly enough, you might write a letter or go on a march or whatever.

Nowdays every opinion and every view and every action demands some kind of immediate, instant answer or rejection or argument or action.


It's hard to get away from, but I think the more you do it, the more it helps. I reckon it's actually an addiction to always be 'there' and always be responding...

[CraigDS]

[damomad]

Whatsapp is the killer for me.

I can be enjoying my day then I look at a group chat, my extreme leftie mates post something that I dare question as being a tad unreasonable, they take it the wrong way, then cue the rest of the afternoon of me checking my phone responding about pure nonsense and getting wound up.

Just today for example, someone is complaining about when a Tory MP dies why is he offered all the niceties but if it was Corbyn it wouldn't be the case etc etc.

I don't recall ever getting properly wound up chatting shite in a pub but there's something about it being on that wee screen with no nuance, just brings the worst out in everyone.

Better for my mental health if I just put it on mute most of the day.

[JC the Messiah]

https://xkcd.com/386/

[BlackandWhitePaul]

I wouldn't waste even a minute of my time arguing the toss with someone on tinternet these days, I simply ignore them which apparently winds them up but hey ho, I'm out dancing and they are up all night typing out profanities. 

[AndyInVA]

Twenty years ago, you'd see something in the paper or on the TV and think "Fuck off" or "What a knobend" and that would be it. You might get talking about it to your mates in the pub if the subject came up, but that would largely be it. If you cared strongly enough, you might write a letter or go on a march or whatever.

How can you be referencing 20 years ago ..... and not gotten past getting into stupid arguments with people online or in real life

I am happy to have left getting upset about things people did or said that were not connected to me in the category 'things I can't control' and just smile and move on

so many better ways in life to spend time

[Jono69]

When i was younger i would argue and argue as i was always right and everyone else was wrong

As I hit my 40s then i suddenly realised what's the point in arguing when i can be safe in the knowledge that I'm right and it's other people that are wrong 

I do have to stop myself at times though and only this morning I typed a massive reply to Fromola from a post last night in the covid thread having a go at certain people / beliefs  on here but stopped ( Wasn't having a go at fromola ) ,  had a think about it and deleted it as it ends up in a never ending conversation /arguement and to be honest i can't be arsed as life is way to short

[smutchin]

I used to be really bad for getting sucked into arguments online but these days I'm much better at reminding myself that I've got better things to do with my time.

That xkcd cartoon JC posted was a bit of a wake-up call when I first saw it a few years ago. Now I always try to remind myself of it when engaging online.

Sometimes, writing your response but deleting it before you hit send can be catharsis enough. You can then pretend to yourself that you've had the last word. 

[boots]

I sympathise Andy. Theres more right wing nonsense now 'normal' types have access to pc's smart phones etc. Plus you get people slagging off that young lass Greta because she has the audacity to speak up on behalf of her peers. There's so much that makes me angry and sometimes you cannot walk away from confrontation with racism, bigotry etc. Sometimes you have to say no and tell them theyre ignorant fools and argue your point. You cannot walk away from it. Well, I cant.

[leroy]

As soon as you hit the first loop in a discussion or argument just exit stage left.  Most online discussions where there's disagreement seem to go into a loop or becomes hyper focused specific aspects of one or the others posts/comments to the exclusion of the broader point.  That's where I just try to say - we're not going anywhere productive, I'm out.

[smutchin]

That's where I just try to say - we're not going anywhere productive, I'm out.

I made the mistake of actually saying this recently... an argument had started going round in circles and was becoming repetitious, so I pointed this out and said there's no point continuing the discussion, but that was like a red rag to a bull...

I should have just bowed out quietly.

[boots]

Well, usually there comes a point in the debate when you realise you are arguing with someone who barely has the IQ to tie up their laces on their slip-ons.

[leroy]

I made the mistake of actually saying this recently... an argument had started going round in circles and was becoming repetitious, so I pointed this out and said there's no point continuing the discussion, but that was like a red rag to a bull...

I should have just bowed out quietly.

Just leave them shouting at clouds mate.  I usually just avoid the thread/forum/group or whatever for a bit.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Well, usually there comes a point in the debate when you realise you are arguing with someone who barely has the IQ to tie up their laces on their slip-ons.

That's usually me

[Andy @ Allerton!]

I sympathise Andy. Theres more right wing nonsense now 'normal' types have access to pc's smart phones etc. Plus you get people slagging off that young lass Greta because she has the audacity to speak up on behalf of her peers. There's so much that makes me angry and sometimes you cannot walk away from confrontation with racism, bigotry etc. Sometimes you have to say no and tell them theyre ignorant fools and argue your point. You cannot walk away from it. Well, I cant.

I've always been an argumentative bastard to be fair - got that off my mum. But in 'real life' you have the opportunity to use understanding, empathy, acknowledgement and compromise to reach understanding. I 'like' arguing because when I do, it gives me a great opportunity to learn something and add to my knowledge and understanding of the world. More than once I've gone in hard on a view that after discussion I realised that I didn't know anything like as much as I thought I did and many situations have far more detail and variables than you might first think.


But most of that is lost with interactive engagements on the internet - RAWK (for instance) is different because there are people that you 'know' and already have a handle on what's been discussed and a general concensus around the discussion.

[RedSince86]

I wouldn't waste even a minute of my time arguing the toss with someone on tinternet these days, I simply ignore them which apparently winds them up but hey ho, I'm out dancing and they are up all night typing out profanities.

The Alan partridge shrug Gif is always good to rile them up and then exit stage.

[Pheeny]

I've always been an argumentative bastard to be fair

No you haven't

[BlackandWhitePaul]

Reminds me of the Monty Python sketch where some bloke pays to have an argument.   

[Crosby Nick]

Reminds me of the Monty Python sketch where some bloke pays to have an argument.   

No he didn’t.

[kesey]

right wing

racism, bigotry etc.

So here is a dead honest question which I feel deserves a dead honest answer.

Can the opposite of ' right ' be racist and bigots ?

[BarryCrocker]

So here is a dead honest question which I feel deserves a dead honest answer.

Can the opposite of ' right ' be racist and bigots ?

I'm sure you'd see less racism on the left but definitely some level of bigotry if you go by its definition.

obstinate or unreasonable attachment to a belief, opinion, or faction; in particular, prejudice against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.

[Indomitable_Carp]

I'm sure you'd see less racism on the left but definitely some level of bigotry if you go by its definition.

Depends how you are defining left I suppose, but 100% you get racism (of all stripes) on ´the left´

[ChaChaMooMoo]

So here is a dead honest question which I feel deserves a dead honest answer.

Can the opposite of ' right ' be racist and bigots ?

I get where you are coming from. But there is a subtle difference the way I see it.

Racism isnt a feeling in classical terms. Its pure plain hatred, that's taught, shown and passed on.

Being on the "right" and being a "bigot" is a counter feeling to what you feel and what you do to direct that negative built up energy.

So racism could technically be eradicated in 2 generations*, right wingers and bigotry cannot be that easily eradicated. Simply because its a feeling and reaction.

(*) if all kids born since today morning arent taught about hating someone because of their colour, then racism will cease to exist in 70-80 years. Thats what I mean by 2 generations.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

No you haven't

[Indomitable_Carp]

Racism isnt a feeling in classical terms. Its pure plain hatred, that's taught, shown and passed on.

I don´t think racism is simply "pure plain hatred". That is racism in its most visible form. Racism for me implies feelings of superiority to others (conscious or otherwise) based on the colour of another persons skin or sometimes ethnicity. That doesn´t necessarily imply "hatred". And for that reason I think it is a lot harder to stamp out then what you are suggesting.

One example from here in Barcelona. I had just moved here a couple of months previously from the UK and was at one of the neighbourhood street festivals. At this street festival, in a very Catalan neighbourhood, there was a "CUP" (basically a far-left Catalan nationalist party) stall selling beers and various political bits and bobs.

Now in Barcelona, whenever you are on the street at a party or on the beach and wanting a beer, there is nearly always a Pakistani guy pulling along an old-lady-style shopping basket/trolley or coolbox with beers to sell. Fantastic service and always there when you need them. They are also very chill guys and never causing any trouble.

One of the Catalan girls from the neighbourhood saw me going to buy a beer off one of these Pakistani guys at this neighbourhood festival. She quickly grabbed my arm and explained to me how "these Pakistani guys spit on your beers" (complete with her miming a spitting motion). Before I had a chance to object she dragged me along to the CUP stall where her friends worked - to buy my beer there. They then sold me a beer at a marked up price, meanwhile being a bunch of rude and unfriendly bastards looking at me like I´m just some fucking "guiri" (Spanish word for Northern European with generally negative connotations).

Now I mention this because these CUP members will, without a hint of irony, go out on "refugees welcome" marches and other such political activities that fit in with their "left wing" package. Doesn´t stop them holding blatently racist stereotypes and views away from their overtly political activites. I don´t think this girl or her mates "hated" Pakistani´s, but they certainly held them in lower regard (although they may very well have hated "guiris"!).   



Edit : I think I might be arguing!! And just took a good few minutes out of my (obviously!) busy work schedule to do it

[BlackandWhitePaul]

No he didn’t.

Did so.

[Redwhiteandnotblue]

Did so.

That's not an argument. That's just contradiction!

[Andy @ Allerton!]

That's not an argument. That's just contradiction!

Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!

[ChaChaMooMoo]

Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!

But you did.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

But you did.

No I didn't

[rushyman]

Has anyone seen themselves getting stuck in arguments that most of the time you only have a passing interest in anyway?

I've been trying to restrain myself from commenting/arguing about every single bloody thing and at long last I think I'm slowly, slowly getting there.

This is the trouble with 'always on' social media.

Twenty years ago, you'd see something in the paper or on the TV and think "Fuck off" or "What a knobend" and that would be it. You might get talking about it to your mates in the pub if the subject came up, but that would largely be it. If you cared strongly enough, you might write a letter or go on a march or whatever.

Nowdays every opinion and every view and every action demands some kind of immediate, instant answer or rejection or argument or action.


It's hard to get away from, but I think the more you do it, the more it helps. I reckon it's actually an addiction to always be 'there' and always be responding...

I’m at this non stop with blerts on comment sections on YouTube amd other chats

Fuck knows why I do it to myself