Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[L666KOP]

Ive quit again, probably for good this time

very long post will follow when I have the energy at some point

Excellent !!!!!!

I've not had anything for over a week, nothing planned for this weekend either.
Been a bottle of Smirnoff in freezer since last Thursday.

[AndyInVA]

Excellent !!!!!!

I've not had anything for over a week, nothing planned for this weekend either.
Been a bottle of Smirnoff in freezer since last Thursday.

Im finding it really easy this time

I wasnt drinking too much anyway, but this time it doesnt feel hard to kick it

[L666KOP]

Im finding it really easy this time

I wasnt drinking too much anyway, but this time it doesnt feel hard to kick it

Good.

Personally I find it easier if I have some in the house, I play it weekend to weekend.
If I can get to Monday I'm safe until Friday.

[AndyInVA]

Good.

Personally I find it easier if I have some in the house, I play it weekend to weekend.
If I can get to Monday I'm safe until Friday.

I cant do that. The one control I really have is to not buy any and not keep any in the house. Especially if im on my own.

I poured every bit away last week.

[Billy The Kid]

Ive quit again, probably for good this time

very long post will follow when I have the energy at some point

I knew this day would come. I'm just glad it has come now rather than later

I can already guess what's going to be in the long post

[Johnnyboy1973]

I can already guess what's going to be in the long post

This is the give away.

The one control I really have is to not buy any and not keep any in the house. Especially if im on my own.

I poured every bit away last week.

But, even then, it's only a

Ive quit again, probably for good this time

But, for every cloud.........

it feels like for good though

So, who do we reckon got it - work, missus, family?

I'm going for a huge fuck up with the missus for my main bet and an outside bet on police involvement.

Anyway, welcome back to sobriety 

[Sir Harvest Fields]

sounds ominous either way, hope im wrong.

[Rusty]

I knew this day would come. I'm just glad it has come now rather than later

I can already guess what's going to be in the long post

So, who do we reckon got it - work, missus, family?

I'm going for a huge fuck up with the missus for my main bet and an outside bet on police involvement.

Anyway, welcome back to sobriety 

OK guys - fair enough, you were right all along, called it correctly, and now you've had the satisfaction of pointing it out.  I think though for the next little while we should give Andy a bit of slack before there are any more "I told you so's" - I'm sure he knows himself what he has to do in both the short- and long-term.

[Johnnyboy1973]

OK guys - fair enough, you were right all along, called it correctly, and now you've had the satisfaction of pointing it out.  I think though for the next little while we should give Andy a bit of slack before there are any more "I told you so's" - I'm sure he knows himself what he has to do in both the short- and long-term.

Jog on Rusty, he's fair game.

I'm sure Andy's a big boy and he can take it.

I honestly didn't think it was that bad a ribbing. It's fuck all compared to the what the likes Paul would have got.

Its gonna go all touchy feely in here very soon.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

OK guys - fair enough, you were right all along, called it correctly, and now you've had the satisfaction of pointing it out.  I think though for the next little while we should give Andy a bit of slack before there are any more "I told you so's" - I'm sure he knows himself what he has to do in both the short- and long-term.

I really dont think anyone is taking satisfaction from this at all mate. I see what you are saying but i dont feel that is the case. We all know what we have to do and no one here is saying 'i told you so ' . We are here for him just as you all were for me, Paul, Billy, Andy, Steve etc. There is no ' told you so ' mentality in here id like to think.

[Johnnyboy1973]

I told you so.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Oh and if we ' called it correctly ' its because we have been there and know the score. We have seen it all with our own eyes ( eye in my case ) and if it sounds harsh what we say we all know its meant with the greatest love and intentions and all the support we can muster.

[Rusty]

I really dont think anyone is taking satisfaction from this at all mate. I see what you are saying but i dont feel that is the case. We all know what we have to do and no one here is saying 'i told you so ' . We are here for him just as you all were for me, Paul, Billy, Andy, Steve etc. There is no ' told you so ' mentality in here id like to think.

I'd like to think so too, just wanted to make sure there was enough of a balance between tough love and listening.

Johnny - would love to jog on but had surgery on my foot this morning, so won't be moving much quicker than walking pace for the near future

[Rusty]

I told you so.

Smartarse

[Maggie May]

I'd like to think so too, just wanted to make sure there was enough of a balance between tough love and listening.

Johnny - would love to jog on but had surgery on my foot this morning, so won't be moving much quicker than walking pace for the near future

I had exactly the same thought as you Rusty,and remain of that opinion.

Hope your foot gets better soon.   

[Rusty]

I had exactly the same thought as you Rusty,and remain of that opinion.

Hope your foot gets better soon.   

Cheers Mags - should be right, just needs rest for a few days. Good excuse to spend this weekend sitting inside in front of a warm fire while it's snowing outside

[Billy The Kid]

For the record, I wasn't seeking, nor did I take any satisfaction at all. I don't see myself as being better or above anyone in here. I'm an addict just like most of the posters in here so It's a level playing field as far as I'm concerned.  As I said, I'm just glad that this has happened for Andy now rather than later. And the reason I said I can probably guess what's coming in his long post wasn't to massage my ego. Its because I've been in the exact same place that he is in now, numerous times. Because I'm an addict see? Know what I mean?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Indeed i do Billy, and i do see why Maggie and Rusty would be concerned but this is a long time thread with a lot of ups and downs but all is well meant. Rusty and Maggie have been there from the start so they know the score but its been a while since we have had to revert to the start with another thread user so it may seem hard.

Its meant in the best way and i bet any outsider would slay the skin off our backs for the way we talk to each other, but it seems to work in here. Just my opinion.


Edit: I just gave this thread address to my ex wife. not sure that was wise.

[Rusty]

For the record, I wasn't seeking, nor did I take any satisfaction at all. I don't see myself as being better or above anyone in here. I'm an addict just like most of the posters in here so It's a level playing field as far as I'm concerned.  As I said, I'm just glad that this has happened for Andy now rather than later. And the reason I said I can probably guess what's coming in his long post wasn't to massage my ego. Its because I've been in the exact same place that he is in now, numerous times. Because I'm an addict see? Know what I mean?

Understood Billy - just wanted to make sure Andy didn't pop in here and get the wrong impression that he was going to get too much shit about his decision to "manage" booze rather than kick it totally. I do get that everyone in here is trying to help in their own way, whichever point of the spectrum their approach falls in.

Anyway, I get the feeling we're all aiming to help, so I'll shut up for the time being

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Edit: I just gave this thread address to my ex wife. not sure that was wise.

Nice one, Carl. I think you'll find she'll be much more understading of your doings once she has trawled through the thread...

[AndyInVA]

Just checked this thread after a couple of days and its interesting to read everyones thoughts.

I consider all the long term posters on here as friends and brothers and we all want whats best for each other and I am not offended by anything anyone says, Like someone said, we are all big boys and we are all involved with booze on some level and we know its wrong.

I'll be honest, Billy The Kid gave me a lot of shit when I went back to moderate drinking and his constant picking at me really ticked me off.

However, it turns out he was right.

So, I guess I'm the fool and he was right all along.

Just for the record, Carls correct.

Bust up with the missus and police involvement.

As this is a public forum I have not really laid it all out just in case as there was a court case on Tuesday. I have another in May or maybe earlier.

Its quite a mess and has been my first ever involvement with the cops other than speeding.

The basis is that my wife called the cops for verbal abuse. the cops show up and kick me out for 5 days (which she then extends to 7 while she moves out) and i move into my office for a week

we had a court case on tuesday where I was expecting us to be reasonable with each other. she started lying from her first sentence and didnt stop for the entire 2 hour hearing. thankfully the judge saw through the lies but the fact i was decent and acknowledged i have in the past had a problem with booze, the judge (a lady) took a really dim view of that

I was able to prove in black and white that my wife committed perjury in a previous legal document. thankfully the judge acknowledged that. I have about 50/50 custody of my kid

I have quit again. For good and Im finding it easy

Im still under a protection order which is a real pain in the ass, however she calls me to have dinner and spend time with our kid for parties and recitals and such and we are going to counseling together.

This is day 20 of this little adventure and its all a bit new.

Ive also been to an american AA meeting which was interesting too

that will be another post

[AndyInVA]

OK guys - fair enough, you were right all along, called it correctly, and now you've had the satisfaction of pointing it out.  I think though for the next little while we should give Andy a bit of slack before there are any more "I told you so's" - I'm sure he knows himself what he has to do in both the short- and long-term.

Rusty had PMd me a few days ago so he had a bit of a heads up

but its all fine, if we cant be brutally blunt with each other, where else will we get it from

[Johnnyboy1973]

Just for the record, Carls correct.

Bust up with the missus and police involvement.

Fuck Carl, that was me

I reckon you've had your moment. The moment where all piss heads finally get to, when they say, I'm done. Largely because you say this

I have quit again. For good and Im finding it easy

Once you come to the conclusion, I'm not drinking again, it is easy from a fundamental level. Yes, you will have the problems with regards to habit, boredom etc but the key decision has been made.

I'm really happy for you mate. I know it's been shitty but and I mean this in a far from shitty way; you needed this. This was your moment.

From what I understand it wasn't a great relationship and now you have joint custoday and you're sober. Could have been a lot worse. Protection order is a bit shite but that will pass. Interested to see how you find AA and if God speaks to you, but whatever you have to do to break the cycle, do.

[AndyInVA]

sorry Johnny, yes you get the GOLD STAR, well done, correct guess

it was not a great relationship and I was on the verge of moving on, but I had no idea what it felt like to lose free access to your child. that really sucked and it really hurt. Now that Ive seen her a few times the concept of shared custody is becoming more normal. However I am still unsure if a bad relationship is worth going from a 100% dad to a 50% dad

American AA meetings are interesting from an outsiders point of view. Ive been to 3 different ones. They all follow the same formula but the groups who meet are a little bit different. I went to one that met on a tuesday morning at the local free clinic. and that was an eye opener. these people suffered from every kind of affliction of which booze was one. Drugs, booze, unemployability, poor social standards, poor intelligence, take your pick

thankfully I went to another that night and it was mostly working type people with one or another issue with booze.

they read a standard text at the start talking about confidentiality and some other religious stuff and references God a lot. where I live its a fairly small town, so they are no formally managed groups. they take turns chairing the meeting so some can be better than others. AT one meeting, some of the group just spoke up at will talking about how they got started at AA

then i went to another one on a saturday night and I may go to that one again tonight

there we were forced to say something, even if it that something was simply to pass to the next person. I live in the south so God does a play a large part in community life, but its a bit odd for me as a non religous type, to hear people talking about praying about giving up, prayng about the stupid things they have done etc

at some point they all say the lords prayer together, then at the very end around eververyon makes a big circle, holds hands and then repeats some mantra about being sober and to keep coming back as it really works

it was a very odd experience for me and I cant imagine the equivalent organisation in england doing things the same way

[Johnnyboy1973]

sorry Johnny, yes you get the GOLD STAR, well done, correct guess

Thankyou.

However I am still unsure if a bad relationship is worth going from a 100% dad to a 50% dad

Depends on the impact it is having on the child, now and in the future, I suppose. I dont have kids but the idea of a two seperate happy households seems more appealing that one warring household.

I went to one that met on a tuesday morning at the local free clinic. and that was an eye opener. these people suffered from every kind of affliction of which booze was one. Drugs, booze, unemployability, poor social standards, poor intelligence, take your pick

This is the one I would go to the most. I always find it comforting to know there are biggest fuck ups in society than myself.

it was a very odd experience for me and I cant imagine the equivalent organisation in england doing things the same way

I've never been. But, I think that higher power is key to the programme. How you interpret that higher power is open to interpretation. I fail to see how you could interpret it in any way other than divinely. I quite like the mantra though. As time goes on, I think or at least I have found, that it's quite easy to forget you were a pisshead and that's why I am not oppossed to AA, although having never been.

[TepidT2O]

Sorry to hear about the court trouble you've had Andy.

It will be difficult with your kid, but I guess you've just got to try and be the best dad possible in the time you've got with him (and 50% is actually pretty good).

I think everyone on here is chuffed for you that you have made the BIG decision.  Speaks volumes about you.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Fuck Carl,

Yea, why not.

[TepidT2O]

Yea, why not.

Hey! this isn't a forum for you to whore yourself out to all and sundry

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Is it not? But i was doing so well. Ah well, i best get back to some cheap slut site then   5-0 has made my day

[AndyInVA]

Sorry to hear about the court trouble you've had Andy.

problem of my own making
I just have to deal with it now
just had a great time at a kids birthday party. it was my wifes weekend so she was nice enough to invite me to it then we had lunch afterwards. even on the way there I found myself giving her a hard time in the car about some dumb things she did. That really wasnt cool and just reinforced that I have a lot of deep frustration and anger towards her and that maybe being apart is better for us. But we managed to enjoy the rest of the day. She basically wants us to be good parents but not live together. Not really on topic for this thread, but to be honest I wouldnt want to open up on a different threads.

This thread feels more like home to me.

[AndyInVA]

Is it not? But i was doing so well. Ah well, i best get back to some cheap slut site then   5-0 has made my day

damn, I hadnt seen the game yet. I thought i was safe in this thread

[Sir Harvest Fields]

damn, I hadnt seen the game yet. I thought i was safe in this thread

Shit, sorry mate. That never occured to me. Bollocks ( unshaven ) 

[AndyInVA]

No worries. It is a Liverpool site after all

[Sir Harvest Fields]

It is, but its also the first place i seek for solace after a bad day. I dont know what id have done had the 'net' not been around.  Ive dropped my balls in it by citing the score today but ill take that misdemeanour against all the help ive had in here

[Pheeny]

Not really on topic for this thread, but to be honest I wouldnt want to open up on a different threads.

This thread feels more like home to me.

feel free to say whatever you want in this thread Andy,after all that's what it is for.


With in reason though

[Pheeny]

No worries. It is a Liverpool site after all

I can edit out the score if you want?

[Jonathan Hall ☆☆☆☆☆☆]

I can edit out the score if you want?

Thing is Carl meant 5 nil to Norwich...

[spen71]

Dont want to say it BUT told you so Andy!

[Sir Harvest Fields]

problem of my own making
I just have to deal with it now
just had a great time at a kids birthday party. it was my wifes weekend so she was nice enough to invite me to it then we had lunch afterwards. even on the way there I found myself giving her a hard time in the car about some dumb things she did. That really wasnt cool and just reinforced that I have a lot of deep frustration and anger towards her and that maybe being apart is better for us. But we managed to enjoy the rest of the day. She basically wants us to be good parents but not live together. Not really on topic for this thread, but to be honest I wouldnt want to open up on a different threads.

This thread feels more like home to me.

Say what you need to say mate. Its a well modded thread and people know to behave ( most of the time   ) and if it helps to get it off your chest, go right ahead mate.

[♠Dirty Harry♠]

3 weeks under the belt now; for both cigarettes & drink.