Author Topic: Alan Partridge - including Alpha Papa (Read 559349 times)

crownpaints · « **Reply #320 on:** August 9, 2006, 12:10:13 pm »

Hahahahahahahaha!

You've gotta laugh when you fall off a sofa! Bloody sofa!

Izzy Bully***** · « **Reply #321 on:** August 12, 2006, 09:18:19 am »

"A cast iron egg tree, laquered. Is that included? I mean, it's not a deal breaker but I would like to know."

"Everything you want to keep here, it'll be kept, or not."

"Optional... What's this little sink here?"

"It's a rinser"

"Yeh- get rid of it."

-Gianni- · « **Reply #322 on:** August 18, 2006, 11:45:04 am »

'Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song.It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesnt it? You wake up in the morning,youve got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, youve got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think sunday bloddy sunday!'

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #323 on:** August 18, 2006, 12:11:23 pm »

Quote from: -Gianni- on August 18, 2006, 11:45:04 am

'Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song.It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesnt it? You wake up in the morning,youve got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, youve got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think sunday bloddy sunday!'

Love that scene:

"What's da big oidea"
"Dere's more to Ireland dan dis"
"Can we come live from the Blarney Stone? I'm trying to get an angle on this"

crownpaints · « **Reply #324 on:** August 18, 2006, 12:17:25 pm »

Are we going to see you back on the television?

Well, in a word... probably yes.

-Gianni- · « **Reply #325 on:** August 18, 2006, 12:49:34 pm »

http://www.alan-partridge.co.uk/multimedia/soundclips/imalans01/s01e04/Conetrct.mp3

Genius.

crownpaints · « **Reply #326 on:** August 21, 2006, 10:46:17 am »

Sorry about that, a couple of gremlins in the system there... ghosts in the machine.

Perhaps a metaphor for... er... Good evening!

Scouser_Phil · « **Reply #327 on:** August 27, 2006, 09:53:17 pm »

why do people do that?

I just hat the general public.

Am not driving a mini metro.

They,ve rebadged it you fool.

I'mmmmm Batman.

kitster · « **Reply #328 on:** August 29, 2006, 10:29:38 pm »

'I hate graveyards, they remind me of.....death.'

xavidub · « **Reply #329 on:** August 29, 2006, 11:16:26 pm »

'build a tree, don't cut one down for goodness sake!'

xavidub · « **Reply #330 on:** August 29, 2006, 11:19:08 pm »

Partridge to Judge: "what would you say to people who say that pornography is degrading to women?"

Judge: "Is it not true that sex is degrading to women............if its any good?"

Partridge: Good Point!

crownpaints · « **Reply #331 on:** August 29, 2006, 11:44:55 pm »

Quote from: nidgemo on January 3, 2006, 05:29:09 pm

NOT THAT DRAWER!!!!

They were there when I moved in.

themule · « **Reply #332 on:** August 30, 2006, 08:51:46 pm »

"Go on Lynne, try and finish your sentence and see what I do....

I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro"

fudge · « **Reply #333 on:** August 30, 2006, 09:17:06 pm »

Quote from: themule on August 30, 2006, 08:51:46 pm

"Go on Lynne, try and finish your sentence and see what I do....

I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro I'm not driving a mini metro"

they've rebadged it you fool

snez1 · « **Reply #334 on:** August 30, 2006, 10:17:18 pm »

"Golly an Alien Judge!"

snez1 · « **Reply #335 on:** August 30, 2006, 10:34:03 pm »

Anyone know the name of the fit/dirty policewoman in the "crash! bang! Wallop! WHAT A VIDEO!" scene?

themule · « **Reply #336 on:** August 30, 2006, 11:27:16 pm »

Quote from: snez1 on August 30, 2006, 10:34:03 pm

Anyone know the name of the fit/dirty policewoman in the "crash! bang! Wallop! WHAT A VIDEO!" scene?

Not sure she had one...

"Let's see what this idiot did... in America!"

Matt S · « **Reply #337 on:** August 31, 2006, 12:19:09 am »

"tell them you no pay, tax is rubbish!

Sonya your not the chancelor of the exchequor!"

Ciara (with a capital "C") · « **Reply #338 on:** August 31, 2006, 01:43:28 am »

Haven't read through the entire thread yet but I presume this is in here somewhere?

Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! DAAAAAAAAN!

paddy-d · « **Reply #339 on:** August 31, 2006, 09:27:48 am »

"You're so dirty! You call a spade a spade. In fact you probably call it a big tool."

"Do you like owls? I know a CRACKING owl sanctuary"

crownpaints · « **Reply #340 on:** August 31, 2006, 09:40:32 am »

Quote from: themule on August 30, 2006, 11:27:16 pm

"Let's see what this idiot did... in America!"

I drive a car... but not like THIS!

The Bill Hicks Appreciation Society · « **Reply #341 on:** August 31, 2006, 10:10:54 am »

Jed: It must be odd being here in a room, surrounded by photos of yourself!
Alan: It is a bit, yeah!
Jed: I like David Copperfield as well. Not as much as you, though.
Alan: No, no I can see that. He's losing the battle for wall space, isn't he?

Party Phil · « **Reply #342 on:** August 31, 2006, 10:20:59 am »

It's a sad world we live in, when people would rather buy a video idiots driving like morons into berks than a book that has bee described as, and I quote, "lovely stuff". Not my words michael... the words of Shakin Stevens.

crownpaints · « **Reply #343 on:** September 17, 2006, 11:48:55 pm »

I believe we've ESTABLISHED THAT.

Party Phil · « **Reply #344 on:** September 18, 2006, 12:00:11 am »

Alan: "I'm just destroying my weetabix"
Michael: "Aye well be careful or else people might say yer a cereal killer"
Alan: "God I've missed you"

crownpaints · « **Reply #345 on:** September 18, 2006, 01:45:38 am »

Michael, you could have blown the horn in my Lexus! All you had to do was ask! It's on the central steering wheel boss... behind the airbag.

Cassiel · « **Reply #346 on:** September 18, 2006, 08:25:36 am »

'Good luck with the edit.'

(While being carried off on a stretcher after being hit by a falling cow)

Fitzy. · « **Reply #347 on:** September 19, 2006, 02:06:55 pm »

"Boiled eggs please...and I'd like you to lay them you chicken"""

kitster · « **Reply #348 on:** September 19, 2006, 02:47:47 pm »

"I dont like big feet.... they remind me of gammon."

kitster · « **Reply #349 on:** September 19, 2006, 02:57:31 pm »

John the Builder - "do you want one al?" (offers him his tobacco)

Alan - "nah, i dont smoke. I'm one of the anti-cancer set. yeah, were a dying breed. Well, we're not, you are. ....i dont mean you've got cancer.. er... well maybe you have. If you havent, then i apologise. If you have, please.. take the rest of the day off.."

mikeb58 · « **Reply #350 on:** September 19, 2006, 03:40:56 pm »

Just bought the book containing all the scripts for a quid from a charity shop. Absolute class, don't think there's a dud programme amongst them .

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #351 on:** September 19, 2006, 03:44:16 pm »

Quote from: Alloy on September 19, 2006, 03:40:56 pm

Just bought the book containing all the scripts for a quid from a charity shop. Absolute class, don't think there's a dud programme amongst them .

Is that called Every Ruddy Word or something like that? Will you be correcting all our quotes from now on then?!

"Fire, Fire the fair's on fire! You're not listening are you? I'm going home"

mikeb58 · « **Reply #352 on:** September 19, 2006, 04:48:51 pm »

Yes that's the book !.......Regarding that fire at the fayre.....

Alan...my own tip is 'never throw water on a fat fire', it'll take your face off.

Loved the episode were Alan is interviewing dodgy cockney villain Terry Norton. Alan is obviously not convinced of Terry's acquittal of garrotting a nightclub owner in Leicester Square.

They do a reconstruction of the scene, which implies Terry's guilt. Terry Norton takes offence to this, and starts to get pissed off with AP.

Shitting himself Alan ends the interview with... ' thanks to Terry Norton.....AN INNOCENT MAN !'

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #353 on:** September 19, 2006, 05:03:53 pm »

Quote from: Alloy on September 19, 2006, 04:48:51 pm

Yes that's the book !.......Regarding that fire at the fayre.....

Alan...my own tip is 'never throw water on a fat fire', it'll take your face off.

Loved the episode were Alan is interviewing dodgy cockney villain Terry Norton. Alan is obviously not convinced of Terry's acquittal of garrotting a nightclub owner in Leicester Square.

They do a reconstruction of the scene, which implies Terry's guilt. Terry Norton takes offence to this, and starts to get pissed off with AP.

Shitting himself Alan ends the interview with... ' thanks to Terry Norton.....AN INNOCENT MAN !'

Terry: What was that Alan?
Alan: That was a reconstruction of what might have happened
Terry: I'll tell you what that was Alan. That was a couple of nonces mincing about

Something like that?!

xavidub · « **Reply #354 on:** September 19, 2006, 08:16:54 pm »

"She's just shown me her woman's area!"

"When you were a hostage (in liberia for four years), what was the funniest thing that happened to you?"

"I was just a pawn" Alan: "A pawn....ina cruel game of chess! Who were the bishops?"

Great show, but much better when it was on radio 4. It worked better and was much less obvious.

Buck Pete · « **Reply #355 on:** September 20, 2006, 10:12:49 am »

Just watched my favorite bit from 'Knowing me,knowing you' again.

Joe Beesley and Cheeky Monkey.

Watch Joe throw the monkey as he walks of stage - hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtdKLV0p8ZM&search=Alan%20Partridge

fudge · « **Reply #356 on:** September 20, 2006, 11:20:23 am »

Quote from: Alloy on September 19, 2006, 04:48:51 pm

Yes that's the book !.......Regarding that fire at the fayre.....

Alan...my own tip is 'never throw water on a fat fire', it'll take your face off.

Loved the episode were Alan is interviewing dodgy cockney villain Terry Norton. Alan is obviously not convinced of Terry's acquittal of garrotting a nightclub owner in Leicester Square.

They do a reconstruction of the scene, which implies Terry's guilt. Terry Norton takes offence to this, and starts to get pissed off with AP.

Shitting himself Alan ends the interview with... ' thanks to Terry Norton.....AN INNOCENT MAN !'

"DO YOU WANT TO GET INVOLVED?"

fudge · « **Reply #357 on:** September 20, 2006, 11:21:25 am »

Quote from: Fat Tony on August 8, 2006, 06:40:22 pm

"Yes, we can give you Pyrotechnics"

"You can't , you can't"

"You've said it again!!!!!"

Cassiel · « **Reply #358 on:** September 20, 2006, 11:39:06 am »

To nine-year-old child prodigy whom he ends up slapping

'Have you got any pubic hair?'

'No because I'm nine.'

'Well I'm 37 and I've got plenty.'

To his father:

'John, John, do you ever sit alone at night by the fire, with your head in your hands and think to yourself, "God have mercy on my soul, I have spawned a monster! I've created Frankenstein!"

Child: 'Have you seen Citizen Kane?'

AP: 'Yes. Every episode. Power to the people!'

RedZen · « **Reply #359 on:** September 20, 2006, 03:28:44 pm »

You threw a monkey in the sea?