Author Topic: Garth Crooks (Read 24596 times)

Lush is the best medicine... · « **on:** February 8, 2010, 04:18:34 pm »

Can someone please explain to me how this guy still has a job as a tv 'expert?' the guy is utter shite, takes half an hour to make a point that could be made in 3 seconds and is a clueless fuckwit - for his team of the week for this week there's no lucas or kuyt as backups for his squad yet adam fucking johnson is in there? 5 man united players in his 'squad'? ffs roger johnson is in there, and his fuckup led to wolves' goal (come to think of it kevin doyle isnt in there yet the likes of berbatov, hesselink and mido are in there, another pisstake). http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/score_on_bbci/7631245.stm

sometimes i get the feeling that he's only still in a job because he's a minority (and that comment is not meant as a racist one, more being the only reason why i can think of someone that poor has survived that long, ffs graeme le saux lasted about a year or so on the beeb and he was far better than crooks)

Umbarto · « **Reply #1 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:20:36 pm »

The media hate Liverpool, I'm usually not arsed about shitty 'team-o-the-week' picks... His picks are usually shit anyway though...

Chivasino · « **Reply #2 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:21:45 pm »

He doesn't seem to ever say anything controversial. But then he doesn't seem to say much at all, but seems to spend a lot of time talking...if that makes sense.

What is the point of Garth Crooks?

CHOPPER · « **Reply #3 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:22:04 pm »

He has mole DNA.

Hazell · « **Reply #4 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:26:14 pm »

Quote from: Laughter is the best medicine... on February 8, 2010, 04:18:34 pm

sometimes i get the feeling that he's only still in a job because he's a minority (and that comment is not meant as a racist one, more being the only reason why i can think of someone that poor has survived that long, ffs graeme le saux lasted about a year or so on the beeb and he was far better than crooks)

I don't think it is positive discrimination. Lawrenson, Redknapp, Townsend, Sherwood, Shearer, Merson, Gayle etc are awful 'pundits'. It's just that way that most pundits at present aren't atually very good and yout a better analysis of games/tactics on RAWK. I actually don't mind Crooks that much, he doesn't irritate me as much as others do, though I don't find him that enlightening (though his team of the week is mostly likely based on favourites and making things up, given your description). But I can probably count on one hand the numbero f pundits that I really like - Pleat, Armfield and that's it. Hansen's ok but apart from them, I'm struggling to think.

Adeemo · « **Reply #5 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:26:17 pm »

The guy's a moron, he's got 3 left backs in his team of the week. Remember once he picked someone like Michael Owen as a holding midfielder. It's absolutely astounding that he's payed to comment on something he clearly knows absolutely nothing about.

Adeemo · « **Reply #6 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:29:03 pm »

Just noticed this bit above his team:

Here's my team of the week. What do you reckon? Do you agree? If not, select your own team and e-mail it to your friends.

"don't bother me with it, e-mail it to your friends."

west_london_red · « **Reply #7 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:48:24 pm »

No one beats Mark Bright, by far the worst pundit of them all be it on the TV or the Metro.

blert596 · « **Reply #8 on:** February 8, 2010, 04:49:59 pm »

Is a tit

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #9 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:28:43 pm »

Quote from: west_london_red on February 8, 2010, 04:48:24 pm

No one beats Mark Bright, by far the worst pundit of them all be it on the TV or the Metro.

Agree. I watched one of our games last season on sopcast, with Mark Bright commentating. After enduring him for 90 minutes, I had to take 2 paracetemol and lie down in a dark room for 2 hours. It took until the following wednesday before I started feeling normal again. 90 minutes of Mark Bright would skull fuck any man on this planet.

As for Garth Crooks, he needs to be put out of his misery with a taser gun. He can wave his fucking arms all he likes when he's on the ground having a fit & choking on his tongue, the odious little cretin.

amir87 · « **Reply #10 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:31:36 pm »

Garth Crooks said John Terry has balls of steel. Fascinating punditry

Adeemo · « **Reply #11 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:31:42 pm »

Quote from: Billy The Kid. on February 8, 2010, 05:28:43 pm

Agree. I watched one of our games last season on sopcast, with Mark Bright commentating. After enduring him for 90 minutes, I had to take 2 paracetemol and lie down in a dark room for 2 hours. It took until the following wednesday before I started feeling normal again. 90 minutes of Mark Bright would skull fuck any man on this planet.

It was probably West Brom away, where among many bizarre opinions, he nonchalantly described Alonso as "a decent passer" in a totally dismissive way.

Captain Wolf Biscuit · « **Reply #12 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:34:06 pm »

Quote from: west_london_red on February 8, 2010, 04:48:24 pm

No one beats Mark Bright, by far the worst pundit of them all be it on the TV or the Metro.

Fuck me. Still haven't forgiven him for criticising our 'negative play' after we beat Man Utd 1-4 last season, truly unbelievable.

Dr Cornwallis · « **Reply #13 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:37:39 pm »

I like Garth Crooks, he's fucking mental.
His facial expressions after he's said just about anything, wow, that's smugness, that's the sort of face a cat pulls when it's just farted on a warm bean-bag, smug mother fucker. But he's not saying anything incredible, he's saying sentences like "Wolves could go down" and then pulling out the cat face. Mental.

Dr Cornwallis · « **Reply #14 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:38:59 pm »

Quote from: Gaz88 on February 8, 2010, 05:34:06 pm

Fuck me. Still haven't forgiven him for criticising our 'negative play' after we beat Man Utd 1-4 last season, truly unbelievable.

If that doesn't underline how mental he is, I don't know what will.
Just enjoy his ramblings while we still can, he'll end up setting fire to himself halfway up the London Eye one day, then you'll miss him.

choi · « **Reply #15 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:39:19 pm »

I hate him with a passion. Just can't stand to watch/listen to him.

Worst 'pundit' on tele IMO. Looks like a right tit when he tries to think of something clever to say and rolls his eyes back and then comes out with something and tries to make it as controversial as anything. Then that little smug smile on his face when he thinks he's said something good when it's infact all a load of bollocks.

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #16 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:41:37 pm »

Quote from: Adeemo on February 8, 2010, 05:31:42 pm

It was probably West Brom away, where among many bizarre opinions, he nonchalantly described Alonso as "a decent passer" in a totally dismissive way.

Thats the one

amir87 · « **Reply #17 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:42:44 pm »

Quote from: Gaz88 on February 8, 2010, 05:34:06 pm

Fuck me. Still haven't forgiven him for criticising our 'negative play' after we beat Man Utd 1-4 last season, truly unbelievable.

Wasn't he criticising us after the 1-0 win at Stamford Bridge? I thought it was even more bizarre considering the fact we outplayed chelsea and were the first team to win there in 4 years. Alan Hansen put him in his place though.

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #18 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:44:02 pm »

Whenever I see the little scrote I think of The Wind and the Willows

Strange I know, but I do.

buchigo! · « **Reply #19 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:44:55 pm »

SamAteTheRedAcid · « **Reply #20 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:47:58 pm »

I'll leave it to the most brilliant Half Man Half Biscuit for the most succinct summation of Crooks' unique place in the world:

'There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves
There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves
With the possible exception of being Garth Crooks
There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves'

The Manhattan Project · « **Reply #21 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:56:25 pm »

Crooks amused me the other day when he said John Terry had "balls of steel"

Samee · « **Reply #22 on:** February 8, 2010, 05:57:45 pm »

He reminds me of a turtle without a shell.

exiledintheUSA · « **Reply #23 on:** February 8, 2010, 06:35:07 pm »

You all seem to have forgotten the obvious........

Garth Crooks is a uber-cunto.

phonic · « **Reply #24 on:** February 8, 2010, 06:59:59 pm »

He's a prick of the highest order. I hate the way he talks like his opinion is far more important than anyone else's.

Jonny-LFC · « **Reply #25 on:** February 8, 2010, 08:45:35 pm »

Up there with Mark Bright and Paul Merson for me..

jaffod · « **Reply #26 on:** February 8, 2010, 08:51:27 pm »

I fucking hate Country & Western music.

HoraceGoesSkiing · « **Reply #27 on:** February 8, 2010, 08:53:14 pm »

utter bell-end

scatman · « **Reply #28 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:04:48 pm »

is an idiot, which he cant be blamed for if he has no intelligence. He just talks a lot of shit which has no reasoning behind it and has no agenda. He's most the neutral pundit out there because no-one can ever tell what the fuck he's on about to interpret it.

Paul JH · « **Reply #29 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:15:04 pm »

It's a toss up between him and Sol Campbell in the self importance stakes.

Always looks to me like he's about to say 'Do you see? Eh? Do you see?' to the person he's talking to, like they can't possibly fathom the sheer genius of what he's saying ...

Utter tosspot.

buzzing · « **Reply #30 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:17:14 pm »

Quote from: west_london_red on February 8, 2010, 04:48:24 pm

No one beats Mark Bright, by far the worst pundit of them all be it on the TV or the Metro.

Yup. Get the metro on the way to work and his article makes me wonder WTF you have to do to get a job as a writer. They also paid for his trip to Africa for the recent comp.....might as well have sent bozo the clown

Fairytale of 2005 · « **Reply #31 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:20:57 pm »

Quote from: Dr Cornwallis on February 8, 2010, 05:37:39 pm

I like Garth Crooks, he's fucking mental.
His facial expressions after he's said just about anything, wow, that's smugness, that's the sort of face a cat pulls when it's just farted on a warm bean-bag, smug mother fucker. But he's not saying anything incredible, he's saying sentences like "Wolves could go down" and then pulling out the cat face. Mental.

absolute gold post that

Ziltoid · « **Reply #32 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:25:54 pm »

Quote from: Paul JH on February 8, 2010, 09:15:04 pm

It's a toss up between him and Sol Campbell in the self importance stakes.

Always looks to me like he's about to say 'Do you see? Eh? Do you see?' to the person he's talking to, like they can't possibly fathom the sheer genius of what he's saying ...
Utter tosspot.

Spot on, that's why i detest him.

Tony19:6 · « **Reply #33 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:28:48 pm »

Don't know how anyone can take him seriously? an utter joke...

rushyman · « **Reply #34 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:46:21 pm »

I was watching him on MOTD bgenuinely agog at what he was saying. I had to pause the Sky + out of embarrasment

Jesus what he was saying to describe Kevin Phillips was lunacy and honest to god what youd hear out of a 9-year-old. 'Like a cobra coiling to shoot, you can hear the commentator ready to do the same???'

Watching Tony Adams was like watching an old dog walking in circles and weeing and shitting itself. Just sad

Crooks makes you angry, hes getting paid to sit there with those ultra fat thighs and spout total nonsense in the purist form of the word.

Corkboy · « **Reply #35 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:52:08 pm »

Quote from: Dr Cornwallis on February 8, 2010, 05:37:39 pm

I like Garth Crooks, he's fucking mental.
His facial expressions after he's said just about anything, wow, that's smugness, that's the sort of face a cat pulls when it's just farted on a warm bean-bag, smug mother fucker. But he's not saying anything incredible, he's saying sentences like "Wolves could go down" and then pulling out the cat face. Mental.

I agree with all of this. I just watched him on MOTD2 and he's unhinged, but in a totally West End drama sort of way. Small doses only, though. A whole match would kill me.

the good half · « **Reply #36 on:** February 8, 2010, 09:53:28 pm »

I like Crooks.
Bit tedious and hard to listen too but he is miles ahead of most in terms of punditry.

Ziltoid · « **Reply #37 on:** February 8, 2010, 10:05:22 pm »

Quote from: the good half on February 8, 2010, 09:53:28 pm

I like Crooks.
Bit tedious and hard to listen too but he is miles ahead of most in terms of punditry.

Christ, you're freebasing early this evening!

Paul JH · « **Reply #38 on:** February 8, 2010, 10:07:08 pm »

Quote from: the good half on February 8, 2010, 09:53:28 pm

I like Crooks.
Bit tedious and hard to listen too but he is miles ahead of most in terms of punditry.

?!?!?!?!
He genuinely isn't. Not in any way shape or form. In fact, he's absolutely useless. I don't think I've ever agreed with anything he's said. Even forgetting he's tedious, he's an abysmal pundit. Passes himself off as a bit of an intellectual, and then most of his views on teams are based purely on face value or the current myth surrounding whichever team he's commenting on (i.e. us and zonal marking), and not any in-depth analysis.

Camina Camina · « **Reply #39 on:** February 9, 2010, 12:07:46 am »

He likes a whiskey or five and has incriminating photo's of other BBC knobheads - fact