"I mean, I'm not saying it was a foul and a free kick, but it was a free kick!" - Danny Murphy
Of course, he didn't say it exactly like that, but he might as well have. You know, the way Shearer says "Oh, that wasn't a dive. It was just clever play!" whenever Harry Kane dons his speedo trunks in the box and cheats, or how Scholes like to say "It's just a good honest going for the ball tackle" when he sees someone's leg amputated from the knee down. Like, have some fucking bollocks and call a spade a spade. Say it was a foul. A foul meaning it was a free fucking kick, you baldy c*nt.
Imagine of Hansen was still around today for this. Fucking hell, he'd probably headbutt someone.