Topic: The small things in life that really hannoy

[LanceLink!!!!!]

Eastenders.....




and Coldplay.

[paulrazor]

People who stand in a queue for 4 minutes waiting to pay for something, and then fart around with their purse/wallet for another 30 seconds when it's their turn and they're told the total. You've been stood there for 4 minutes, utilise that time, c*nt.

No wonder the queues are so long.

Modern life hey, so stressful.

i saw a barman fuck someone off for similar. Someone infront of me moaning he wasnt being served quick. Was dublin on a Saturday night so very busy

Angry barman gets to him after all his moaning. "Right then what'll it be?"

Customers stands there for what seems an eternity going "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Barman has enough
"Right next!"
"Err hang on"
"Make up your bloody mind. You moan that your not being served yet after ten minutes you still don't even know what you want"

Couldn't blame him

[Lawnmowerman]

People who stand in a queue for 4 minutes waiting to pay for something, and then fart around with their purse/wallet for another 30 seconds when it's their turn and they're told the total. You've been stood there for 4 minutes, utilise that time, c*nt.

No wonder the queues are so long.

Modern life hey, so stressful.

Knobheads paying for a large slice pan with a credit card

[Snail]

I know it can't be helped, but the massive queues at the tobacco counter in Tesco because people are farting about buying dozens of scratch cards. Should be an express lane for us dirty smokers.

[telekon]

People who start a post with "Mods feel free to move/lock". Yes, they will lock or move if it's necessary, they don't need your permission.

[Bird Bird Bird The Bird Is The Word]

People making noise in the cinema, I don't want to hear a flea fart, let alone all these greedy c*nts who choose to eat whilst watching a film, chewing and crunching with their stupid mouths, the whisperers with their whistley, raspy voices, the people who think when something "happens" in the film that it is alright to audibly react, well thanks for saying "shit!", I'm sure they'll be adding that to the directors commentary.

There should be patron-enforced code in the cinema, ranging from punch in the back of the head to requesting public execution, depending on the severity of misdemeanor. People are just so fucking rude.

[red mongoose]

I know it can't be helped, but the massive queues at the tobacco counter in Tesco because people are farting about buying dozens of scratch cards. Should be an express lane for us dirty smokers.

OH! The fucking worst. I'd say you could kill one of those absolute weapons and feel less guilt than when you slaughtered that snail.

[Oddball]

There are some absolute belters in here. I could quote so many posts!

To add one of my own, Mini drivers who just have their fog lights on. 9 out of 10 Minis I see do that. Wankers!

Next step is to drop it into some blokes trolley or basket when he isn't looking, then follow him through the checkouts to watch him fumble about in confusion. Works equally well with Anusol, Vagisil or tampons. Twice the rush of shoplifting with none of the criminality.

Yes, someone else who plays basket/trolly drop Stage after that is taking something out of one persons trolly and putting it into another persons

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Twats who use a card to pay for fuel. There is a cash machine there , fuck off and use it. By the time you have paid, checked your receipt and decided how to arrange it all in your wallet, ive plonked my cash down and am out the door before you. Thing is, im on my motorbike, so before i put my gloves on i get Ł10 and slide it into my glove. Hence i am fully prepared and able to navigate this transaction swiftly. Fucking try it for once.

[ChaChaMooMoo]

Went to cinema recently and the woman next to me asked if I 'could be quieter, please'. I was eating popcorn and trying my best not to disturb anyone, but apparently that wasn't good enough for her.

Fuck that. Popcorn is part of the whole cinema experience. Sat through the movie thoroughly indignant and also annoyed at myself for having obliged.

People making noise in the cinema, I don't want to hear a flea fart, let alone all these greedy c*nts who choose to eat whilst watching a film, chewing and crunching with their stupid mouths, the whisperers with their whistley, raspy voices, the people who think when something "happens" in the film that it is alright to audibly react, well thanks for saying "shit!", I'm sure they'll be adding that to the directors commentary.

There should be patron-enforced code in the cinema, ranging from punch in the back of the head to requesting public execution, depending on the severity of misdemeanor. People are just so fucking rude.

By any chance were you both at the same cinema?

*grabs a popcorn*

[ChaChaMooMoo]

but i hate when your in a round in a pub. you buy a drink then the person you bought a drink for takes ages to get their arse up to the bar leaving you wondering a- are they actually gonna dust off their wallet and pay up or
b- how do you nurse a little dribble of beer for 10 mins

How about the fuckers whose bowel chooses to revolt inside their stomach just as its time for the bill to arrive?

I wait in the table with the bill until that revoltfuck is done and then ensure that the bill is split, unless it was agreed otherwise earlier. The f*ck I will pay for your steak and hog around your smelly ass waiting for you to transfer the money.

People who get off a plane then immediately stop to sort their fucking bag out..

People who stand in a queue for 4 minutes waiting to pay for something, and then fart around with their purse/wallet for another 30 seconds when it's their turn and they're told the total. You've been stood there for 4 minutes, utilise that time, c*nt.

The ones  who  "undertake " a long queue by going in the left lane then try to force their way in at the last minute. NEVER LET THEM IN!

The ones who drive up to traffic lights at a crossroads then don't indicate until the lights change. Ugh.

The ones that don't indicate at all. I'm looking at you taxi drivers.

Took words out of my mouth you three.

[Crosby Nick]

*grabs a popcorn*

Quietly, I hope.

[Persephone]

Naked people in the gym, who feel the need to have a conversation while drying themselves off

[paulrazor]

How about the fuckers whose bowel chooses to revolt inside their stomach just as its time for the bill to arrive?

I wait in the table with the bill until that revoltfuck is done and then ensure that the bill is split, unless it was agreed otherwise earlier. The f*ck I will pay for your steak and hog around your smelly ass waiting for you to transfer the money.

bill stays firmly on the table

some noises are annoying. people constantly giggling through the film. but the worst was last year. went to watch captain phillips. literally for the last HOUR of that film some bell end behind me had a drink he continued to try straining every last drop out of. it was clear to me it was empty all you can hear is that horrible annoying slurpy sound. i really wanted to punch him

[Maggie May]

People making noise in the cinema, I don't want to hear a flea fart, let alone all these greedy c*nts who choose to eat whilst watching a film, chewing and crunching with their stupid mouths, the whisperers with their whistley, raspy voices, the people who think when something "happens" in the film that it is alright to audibly react, well thanks for saying "shit!", I'm sure they'll be adding that to the directors commentary.

There should be patron-enforced code in the cinema, ranging from punch in the back of the head to requesting public execution, depending on the severity of misdemeanor. People are just so fucking rude.

Oh Christ yes.  They should be taken out, tortured in the most prolonged barbaric way possible and then slowly killed.

Plus.

They should then be strung up outside the cinema with a sign round their neck saying "I couldn't shut the fuck up and just watch the film" - or something similar.

[.adam]

People who use the self-scan tills like so:

1. Scan items and place items in bagging area but not in bags.
2. Pay for items.
3. Take receipt.
4. Proceed to take five minutes to pack their bags.

Why not put the items in the bags as you scan?

[Paulie's Wallnuts]

People who use the self-scan tills like so:

1. Scan items and place items in bagging area but not in bags.
2. Pay for items.
3. Take receipt.
4. Proceed to take five minutes to pack their bags.

Why not put the items in the bags as you scan?

Even worse is when they take the trolley and unbagged items to their car.

Last week I saw a couple do this and they then bag their items at the car in the pouring rain. I walked past with my umbrella laughing my tits off

[Card Cheat]

Yes, someone else who plays basket/trolly drop Stage after that is taking something out of one persons trolly and putting it into another persons

Upping the ante eh? I'll have to give it a go! 


------
When people do their full weekly shop at a petrol station. Oblivious to the long queue behind them and the mayhem they've caused on the forecourt.

[Oddball]

Upping the ante eh? I'll have to give it a go! 

Arrrrrr yea.

[wampa1]

People making noise in the cinema, I don't want to hear a flea fart, let alone all these greedy c*nts who choose to eat whilst watching a film, chewing and crunching with their stupid mouths, the whisperers with their whistley, raspy voices, the people who think when something "happens" in the film that it is alright to audibly react, well thanks for saying "shit!", I'm sure they'll be adding that to the directors commentary.

There should be patron-enforced code in the cinema, ranging from punch in the back of the head to requesting public execution, depending on the severity of misdemeanor. People are just so fucking rude.

And people who don't turn off their mobile phone.  Unless you've got Mr. Yagamoto on the line fianalising a multi-billion dollar deal your life isn't too important that you can't go two hours without checking Facebook.

[Shepnois]

On the bus when there’s people sitting next you and then the bus starts to free up and there’s lots of empty seats near by but they don’t budge. I can handle it if their stop is up soon but if you're not getting off for ages its a unwritten law you move to a free seat and everyone is a winner. Happens a lot and it does my head in. (Unless it’s an attractive woman of course)

[wampa1]

On the bus when there’s people sitting next you and then the bus starts to free up and there’s lots of empty seats near by but they don’t budge. I can handle it if their stop is up soon but if you're not getting off for ages its a unwritten law you move to a free seat and everyone is a winner. Happens a lot and it does my head in. (Unless it’s an attractive woman of course)

Also if the bus is empty and then someone gets on and sits right behind you.

[paulrazor]

Yes, someone else who plays basket/trolly drop Stage after that is taking something out of one persons trolly and putting it into another persons

i love doing that

confuses the fuck out of others

especially 80 year olds finding packets of johnnys

[Toshack_Keegan_One_Nil]

Kettles \ teapots \ milk containers that spill the contents everywhere when you try to pour them. You have two jobs. One, hold the liquid. Two, pour it out properly. You can't do 50% of what you're supposed to.

Bin men out at 7.30am when every other prick is trying to get to school/work on time, making villages and estates one big traffic jam. You've got the whole day to collect the bins but insist on going out when the roads are at their busiest. Wait until 9/10am and you'll still be done by dinnertime.

People who think that a roundabout is a tit-for-tat system where you each take a turn rather than the traditional Highway Code system. Give way to the right even if it means waiting a while, you dizzy whoremasters.

[tedmus]

When people don't tie (or at least twist) the ends of the loaf of bread meaning it's exposed to the elements for God knows how long
and goes stale >: (

My missus''s dad is fanatical about bread and how fresh it is, uses several elastic bands to seal the wrapper up.

"Air, is the enemy of freshness" is his favourite phrase.

I think he's a little bit mental.

[wampa1]

At my local TESCO, the self-service checkouts have a staff member who swoops and grabs your basket the second you have scanned your last item and then places it in the pile of baskets next to the tills.  I'm perfectly capabale of doing it myself >: (

Also, whilst waiting for an empty basket to pinch, these staff members hover around right in front of the confectionary stand meaning you either have to ask them to move or hope they notice you if you fancy a Wispa and even if they do move it's usually a step to the right or left meaning they're blocking the access to the Double Deckers or Snickers just in case you were being greedy and fancied two chocolate bars >: (  It really does my head in for some reason and quite often when I've seen staff members in front of the stand I've just gone without.  Maybe it's their plan to tackle obesity but I'm not there just yet...

[redgriffin73]

People making noise in the cinema, I don't want to hear a flea fart, let alone all these greedy c*nts who choose to eat whilst watching a film, chewing and crunching with their stupid mouths, the whisperers with their whistley, raspy voices, the people who think when something "happens" in the film that it is alright to audibly react, well thanks for saying "shit!", I'm sure they'll be adding that to the directors commentary.

There should be patron-enforced code in the cinema, ranging from punch in the back of the head to requesting public execution, depending on the severity of misdemeanor. People are just so fucking rude.

Oh yes, absolutely. Literally everyone annoys me at the cinema, I have to choose the optimum position away from as many people as possible. Turn your fucking phone off, we don't need to see the light as you check a text, stop fucking eating the noisiest food possible, stop talking, stop getting up every five minutes to the toilet, and most of all, you don't need to fucking clap at the end of a film.

[WEST HAM PAUL]

Now I've flown many times & bugbear for me is when boarding the plane & you've arrived at your seat .

Now I'm all set & ready have the bits I need for a flight & sit down I've had hours at the airport to sort out my hand luggage & what I want.

You get on the plane & people are up & down like yoyos , get there whole bloody bag out & take forever to get sorted & just fanny about .

It like others have mentioned it's like queing for ages & not having your wallet/purse ready

[eddymunster]

People that are overly grumpy / miserable at times you should be happy and relaxed, like getting on a plane to go on holiday, or at the cinema. 

[.adam]

There's a fella who works in my office, sits a couple of seats away, and he has got the most annoying voice in the world.

He basically keeps a constant level of phlegm in his throat so that he talks with this slightly high pitched gravely voice caused by the sound reverberating off the shite in his throat.

Once in a blue moon he coughs, clears his throat and talks normally for a few minutes until the shitty croakiness reappears. He usually only coughs when he chuckles to himself and starts to nearly drown on the greb in his throat.

Fucking horrible twat.

[Chakan]

People that are overly grumpy / miserable at times you should be happy and relaxed, like getting on a plane to go on holiday, or at the cinema. 

Just on the cinema, I don't mind people eating and drinking, it's the people constantly talking that irritate me. I had to listen to some ladies talk about their coffee date they had the other day through the first 15minutes of a movie. I politely asked them to please be quite. I do that once. Then I get annoyed.

[.adam]

Then there's the fella in the other direction who is the polar opposite. He does that "grunt" thing that some fellas do to clear their throat. Like a sniff but on steroids.

Does it about every five minutes.

Yet another horrible twat.

[redgriffin73]

Then there's the fella in the other direction who is the polar opposite. He does that "grunt" thing that some fellas do to clear their throat. Like a sniff but on steroids.

Does it about every five minutes.

Yet another horrible twat.

Oh, that is disgusting, it always seems to be men that do it too, it sounds like a really snotty snort/swallow kind of noise. I have to actually move away from people doing that if I can, like on public transport, it makes me feel ill.

[telekon]

There's a fella who works in my office, sits a couple of seats away, and he has got the most annoying voice in the world.

He basically keeps a constant level of phlegm in his throat so that he talks with this slightly high pitched gravely voice caused by the sound reverberating off the shite in his throat.

Once in a blue moon he coughs, clears his throat and talks normally for a few minutes until the shitty croakiness reappears. He usually only coughs when he chuckles to himself and starts to nearly drown on the greb in his throat.

Fucking horrible twat.

This is uncanny. I have a guy I work with who is almost exactly the same! Only this guy gets a deeper pitch. I so badly want to say "clear your god damn throat" because it's so painful to listen to.

It's as if he's so comfortable in having this "mysterious" raspy voice that he just keeps going. Incredible. Thing is, he's a nice enough guy apart from this but that constant level of phlegm is doing my fucking head in.

[Crosby Nick]

Oh, that is disgusting, it always seems to be men that do it too, it sounds like a really snotty snort/swallow kind of noise. I have to actually move away from people doing that if I can, like on public transport, it makes me feel ill.

I was walking to the station this morning and there was man in about his 50's repeatedly snorting up and spitting out big phlegmy greenies. Truly was a sight to behold.

There's a guy who sits near me at work who sounds exactly like Warwick Davies. It's a bit unnerving.

[wampa1]

There's a guy here who's basically Bob Fleming

[Card Cheat]

There's a fella who works in my office, sits a couple of seats away, and he has got the most annoying voice in the world.

He basically keeps a constant level of phlegm in his throat so that he talks with this slightly high pitched gravely voice caused by the sound reverberating off the shite in his throat.

That's scouse isn't it?



*runs*

[kavah]

That's scouse isn't it?



*runs*

Ya fuckin' wah? Bad wool la.

[wampa1]

Total mitten at our work who when he has his headphones in will click or tap anything in the immediate vacinity.  Drives me spare.

[.adam]

Oh, that is disgusting, it always seems to be men that do it too, it sounds like a really snotty snort/swallow kind of noise. I have to actually move away from people doing that if I can, like on public transport, it makes me feel ill.

Apparently in China they do it on buses and then spit it against the windows. Nice. It's one of the reasons my missus isn't keen on going!

It's a lad from Pakistan that does it in my office. Pretty sure it's a cultural thing for some (i.e. it's perfectly normal to do it in some cultures).