Jesus fucking Christ.
Our shockingly bad record against you lot (particularly at Anfield) goes back a long, long way.
We are your cup final now regardless of if you like it or not or admit or not.
This is all new to you, so I will explain as simply as possible. I am very good at writing, and I will be very clear.
Your 'shockingly bad record' goes back so far for this reason: until you were bought by the Deputy Prime Minister of Abu Dhabi, you were shit.
You were two divisions below us fifteen years ago. (This date may be out by a year or two, but I cannot be fucking arsed to go to wikipedia.)
Not even money spent by the Deputy Prime Minister of Abu Dhabi can alter the past.
This is one of the basic physical laws of space-time.
This is all new to you.
We have been playing high stakes grudge matches for decades against an English team acknowledged as a global heavyweight. They are called Manchester United, and they are a far bigger and more significant club than you. And those matches are not 'cup finals'. (Cup Finals are parties; we play those against Everton.)
This is all new to you.
Yes, we 'upped our game' when we played you. This is perfectly true.
This is because it was a Champions League Quarter Final.
This is very new to you. But this is what happens when you get so far in such a prestigious competition.
If the Deputy Prime Minister of Abu Dhabi had spent his money on Leeds United, we would have played them last night.
We would have 'upped our game' against Leeds United.
And we would 'up our game' at the return leg in the Etihad Stadium in Leeds, or the Etihad stadium in Bristol, or the Etihad Stadium in East London, or the Etihad Stadium in Birmingham. Instead we 'upped our game' against you, because thanks to the Deputy Prime Minister of Abu Dhabi, who bought you, we were playing you.
We're often called delusional. But you seem to think that the Deputy Prime Minister of Abu Dhabi is rich enough to change the past, and I'm here to tell you that you may now go and fuck yourself.