Author Topic: The Simpsons - The Blurst of thread (Read 343563 times)

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2840 on:** July 16, 2023, 06:06:41 pm »

Enough of your borax Poindexter, a man's life is at stake! We need action!

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2841 on:** July 17, 2023, 10:45:20 pm »

Video taping this crime spree is the best idea we ever had!

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2842 on:** July 17, 2023, 10:46:44 pm »

Bones heal, chicks dig scars and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2843 on:** July 19, 2023, 02:03:38 pm »

What has four legs and ticks?

A walking clock?

A WALKIN' CLOCK!

I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box!

SamAteTheRedAcid · « **Reply #2844 on:** July 19, 2023, 05:12:44 pm »

You don't make friends with salad! You don't make friends with salad!

Hazell · « **Reply #2845 on:** July 19, 2023, 05:13:54 pm »

Quote from: disgraced cake on July 19, 2023, 02:03:38 pm

What has four legs and ticks?

A walking clock?

A WALKIN' CLOCK!

I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box!

I knew the dog before he came to class.

sambhi92 · « **Reply #2846 on:** July 19, 2023, 05:18:32 pm »

Happiness.... is just a flamin' Moe away

Statto Red · « **Reply #2847 on:** July 25, 2023, 06:55:07 pm »

Springfield is in the middle of a heatwave

Ice Cream man: [driving past in his truck]
Ice cream! Ice cream!
I'm all out of ice cream!
[to Bart and Lisa] It's true, you know.
Ice cream! Ice cream!
Bart+Lisa: Aw...

Chili man: [driving past in his truck]
Chili! Red-hot Texas-style chili! And we got gingerale:
boiling-hot Texas-style gingerale! Texas...

gerrardisgod · « **Reply #2848 on:** July 25, 2023, 06:58:07 pm »

Hey! My dad might have gained a little weight, but he’s not some kind of food crazed maniac.

mattD · « **Reply #2849 on:** July 25, 2023, 11:36:49 pm »

Get ready for tennis.... it comes on at 10.

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2850 on:** August 10, 2023, 10:44:04 pm »

"Fortunately we have a plan, Professor Frink?"

"Good evening ladies and"

"QUIT STALLING, WHAT'S THE PLAAAANNNNN?!"

ScouserAtHeart · « **Reply #2851 on:** August 12, 2023, 08:10:54 am »

"Don't do what Donny Don't does"

Statto Red · « **Reply #2852 on:** August 20, 2023, 02:09:03 pm »

Homer: Lousy teachers trying to palm off our kids on us!
Lisa: But, Dad. By striking, they're trying to effect the change in management so that they could be more happier and more productive.
Homer: Lisa! You don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in everyday and do it really half assed. That's the American way!

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2853 on:** August 30, 2023, 09:23:45 pm »

Stolen from the UK Simpsons facebook group, where the current trend is UK TV adverts.

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2854 on:** September 14, 2023, 01:59:15 pm »

Reverend Lovejoy, I had a bit of an ulterior motive in inviting you to dinner ...

WHAT?!

gerrardisgod · « **Reply #2855 on:** November 22, 2023, 11:59:26 am »

Marge, I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats...

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2856 on:** November 22, 2023, 07:45:28 pm »

That's not a question, Professor...

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2857 on:** December 6, 2023, 08:26:04 pm »

Hazell · « **Reply #2858 on:** December 6, 2023, 10:51:47 pm »

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2859 on:** December 19, 2023, 11:26:27 am »

Top of the line in utility sports
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero
Canyooonnneeerrrroooooo!

Statto Red · « **Reply #2860 on:** December 21, 2023, 03:11:44 pm »

Marge: I'm Marge Simpson, and I have an idea.
Everyone: Aw, no. Marge is going to say something. etc.
Marge: Now, I know you haven't liked some of my past suggestions, like switching to the metric system --
Abe: [stammers a little] The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it.
Quimby: The old person's remarks will be stricken from the record.
Abe: Who said that?
Marge: But my new idea's different. I think we should hold a film festival and give out prizes.
Wiggum: Can we make our own movies and enter them?
Marge: Yes.
Wiggum: At last, an excuse to wear makeup!
Quimby: All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?
Everyone: Film festival! Film festival!
Marge: You like my idea? Actually, I have several others --
Everyone: Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!
Marge: Mmm...

Mr. Burns: Smithers, are they booing me?
Smithers: Oh, no, sir. They're saying Boo-urns, Boo-urns.
Burns: [to crowd] Are you saying 'boo' or 'Boo-urns'?
Crowd: Boooooooooooo!
Hans Moleman: [to himself] I was saying 'Boo-urns'.

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2861 on:** December 21, 2023, 06:44:52 pm »

Say, that Ayatollah thinks he's better than America!! Is he right?

NOOOOOOOO!

...yes.

Statto Red · « **Reply #2862 on:** December 31, 2023, 01:59:46 pm »

Who Shot Mr Burns [P2] Smithers, "I feel about as low as Madonna when she found out she missed Tailhook" the obscure gag is about this scandal.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailhook_scandal

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2863 on:** January 7, 2024, 03:55:23 pm »

Man the air feels good on my neck!

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2864 on:** January 9, 2024, 07:26:13 pm »

This is the most prestigious award that Del Monte gives.

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2865 on:** January 9, 2024, 07:58:08 pm »

The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned!

Uh ... so anyway I kicked the guy's ass!

Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust 'em with confectioners sugar!

JerseyKloppite · « **Reply #2866 on:** January 11, 2024, 07:25:21 pm »

Genuinely think this might be the funniest ever Simpsons exchange:

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No... he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

DarkOfTheManatee · « **Reply #2867 on:** January 11, 2024, 09:26:16 pm »

Quote from: JerseyKloppite on January 11, 2024, 07:25:21 pm

Genuinely think this might be the funniest ever Simpsons exchange:

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No... he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

It's definitely up there, and so much of that is just down to Homer's delivery of the lines. Absolute gold.

Bincey · « **Reply #2868 on:** January 11, 2024, 09:44:36 pm »

"My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!"

JerseyKloppite · « **Reply #2869 on:** January 11, 2024, 09:50:53 pm »

Quote from: DarkOfTheManatee on January 11, 2024, 09:26:16 pm

It's definitely up there, and so much of that is just down to Homer's delivery of the lines. Absolute gold.

Exactly. So 'out there' as well.

ScouserAtHeart · « **Reply #2870 on:** January 12, 2024, 04:33:10 pm »

Homer: Here are your messages:
You have 30 minutes to move your car.
You have 10 minutes.
Your car has been impounded.
Your car has been crushed into a cube.
You have 30 minutes to move your cube.

*phone rings*

Burns: Is it about my cube?

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2871 on:** January 13, 2024, 12:46:36 pm »

Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say Toronto.

And some people think that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks.

Roopy · « **Reply #2872 on:** January 14, 2024, 10:28:00 pm »

Quote from: bradders1011 on January 13, 2024, 12:46:36 pm

Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say Toronto.

And some people think that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks.

Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.
Lisa: That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart.
Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?
Lisa: They also have Memorial Day!
Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honor them!
Lisa: They have two!
Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2873 on:** January 14, 2024, 10:34:04 pm »

Quote from: Roopy on January 14, 2024, 10:28:00 pm

Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.
Lisa: That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart.
Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?
Lisa: They also have Memorial Day!
Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honor them!
Lisa: They have two!
Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

Really makes you think.....

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2874 on:** January 15, 2024, 06:04:42 pm »

And guess who's been practising medicine without a licence?

*Dr. Hibbert gulps*

That's right: Homer Simpson.

D'oh!

Roopy · « **Reply #2875 on:** January 17, 2024, 12:02:22 am »

Reporter: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson?
Drederick Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.
Reporter: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ?
Drederick Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.

Statto Red · « **Reply #2876 on:** January 17, 2024, 12:09:14 am »

Groundskeeper Willie: And that's how Willie waters. Now you take the hoose.
Nelson: The moose?
Groundskeeper Willie: The hoose! The hoose!
Nelson: Is this right? (intentionally sprays water at Willie)
Groundskeeper Willie: Ack! Turn off the noozle!
Nelson: Noodles?! What noodles?
Groundskeeper Willie: The noozle at the end of the hoose! ACK!

(Homer's auto-dialer message.)
Homer: Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away.

Homer: Hello, this is Homer Simpson, AKA Happy Dude. The court has ordered me to call every person in town to apologize for my telemarketing scam. I'm sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send one dollar to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. You have the power.

Principal Skinner: Oh, you think this stolen "H" is a laugh riot, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny. Right now, Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl. (Students laugh) Well, I guess it is a little funny.

bradders1011 · « **Reply #2877 on:** January 17, 2024, 09:20:02 am »

Quote from: Roopy on January 17, 2024, 12:02:22 am

Reporter: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson?
Drederick Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.
Reporter: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ?
Drederick Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.

You know what'th great there is the theabass, they do it blackened or thauteed, it's thtupendouth.

sambhi92 · « **Reply #2878 on:** January 17, 2024, 09:20:57 am »

you'll have to speak up, i'm wearing a towel

disgraced cake · « **Reply #2879 on:** January 21, 2024, 12:36:01 pm »

Lobo ... Lobo ... bring back Sheriff Lobo!