Topic: Plausible lies

[Tesco tearaway]

The fillings in the Queens teeth are all made of Welsh gold.

[WillG.LFC]

Some of the plausible lies in here are true.




Or are they 

[The Gulleysucker]

For the last 25 years, all pheasants in the UK have been selectively bred specifically to live by the side of main roads in order to reduce shooters vehicle fuel costs during the hunting season.

[The Gulleysucker]

Domestic cats have evolved to have eight less whiskers than feral ones.

[Tesco tearaway]

Echo Beach, by Martha and the Muffins, was written after the band stayed at Butlins, Ainsdale.

[The Gulleysucker]

The Washington Defense News Digest Today.

Alarmed at the possibility of hostile foreign interference with their SatNav systems as well as the burgeoning cost of implementing and maintaining secure downlinks to their devices, The US Military is planning a programme to instead teach its personnel how to use a compass, read paper maps, and also to understand distance and contours and also country names and their locations in the World.

The estimated cost of the training programme, which will likely be a 2 week duration classroom and field based course for all new recruits to branches of the Military, is being budgeted to be in the order of $1 Billion dollars spread over the next 5 years and has been put out to tender for 3rd party suppliers to submit proposals.

According to Pentagon sources, it is understood that a Chinese consortium is currently favoured to win the contract.

[The Gulleysucker]

The Irish Band U2, in a break from their usual musical compositions, have been working on a Symphonic Ballet in the style of Stravinsky, expected to be performed by the Royal Ballet at Covent Garden this late Autumn.

When asked to outline the theme of the Ballet, the lead singer Bono has said "I don't want to go into it in too much detail but it's long and the music is very different from what we've done before and involves a story involving a fictitious band of four Irish Musicians constantly using private jets to go to meetings with lots of world leaders who cling onto their every word, especially those of the singer as although people don't realise it and think he's just a humble quiet and unassuming lad from Ireland, he's like really the most important and visionary man in the world since Jesus and he's concerned about the poor and needy and the rainforests and rich people who avoid paying their taxes and stuff like that..."

It is expected that music from the three hour long opus will be top of the download charts and its confidently predicted to receive extensive continuous airplay and incessant promotion across all BBC media outlets and also involve the broadcast of an unprecedented 5 hour long Alan Yentob Imagine special documenting the whole development process and containing a film of the first performance.

[sparkiemark73]

It takes almost twice as much energy to learn a fact than it does to remember it.

[Crimson_Tank]

Emperor Nero fiddled while Rome burned.

[The Bournemouth Red]

Before refrigerator trucks were invented, slaughtered animals had to be eviscerated before transport. Leftover bits of internal organs - especially hepatic tissue - greatly increased the chance of the meat spoiling.

On the other hand, a properly gutted and cleaned animal could be kept in dry linen for almost a day (depending on the weather, of course), and transported to its destination unspoiled.

Hence the word “deliver”.

[The Gulleysucker]

At this time of year, mid-September, the Swallows that have been visiting and breeding here since spring time collect together in groups on overhead wires prior to making the journey back south to overwinter in warmer climes. The group decision as to exactly when to leave is thought to be made by a sub-group of older Swallows.

The collective for this specific sub-group is A Cabinet of Swallows

[The Bournemouth Red]

Nabokov’s original ending to ‘Lolita’ featured an elopement to Las Vegas, but his wife made him change it.

[Redwhiteandnotblue]

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

[End Product]

When I was younger I was in woof.  Remember?  Two barks means yes one no. Itv at 4:45 in the mid nineties I bossed it.

[SamAteTheRedAcid]

Deaf people can't get tinnitus.

[ToneLa]

Deaf people can't get tinnitus.

Oh man, that combination would be awful

[End Product]

Jesus was the son of a God.

[fingermouse]

Bernard Manning was once accidently scheduled to appear on BBC kids show 'Jackanory' when a booking agent got him mixed up with Bernard Cribbins.

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

[JamesG L4]

Rod, Jane and Freddy got into a huge trademark dispute with a German porn film. They lost and had to stop touring.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

A Tory once existed that gave a shit about someone that was going through bad times.