Liverpool team doctor Andrew Massey after having to stitch Steven Gerrard's penis back together following an FA Cup tie against Bournemouth in January 2014:
“Stevie came over to me at the end of the match and said, ‘Doc, you are going to have to have a look at this’.
“I looked down and saw blood everywhere and thought, ‘Wow, that must be really sore’.
“I was trying to think back to my medical training and nowhere in my training does it teach you how to stitch a penis.
“I thought, ‘I don’t want the first penis I’ve stitched to be Steven Gerrard’s but it was’.”