Author Topic: That awkward moment when...  (Read 13384 times)

Offline The 5th Benitle

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #160 on: November 29, 2013, 11:13:18 AM »
Do you mean grief counselling? She'll certainly have a grievance now though. With you  ;D

Offline Lfsea

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #161 on: November 29, 2013, 11:13:28 AM »
Staying with my mum at the moment whilst I sort my new house out. She's 70+ and only recently got SKY television and all the gubbins like a decent telly.

Walked in to the lounge yesterday to see Red Hot XXX babes on the TV, my mum with a phone in one hand and a credit card in the other. Cue absolute astonishment, disgust and disappointment from yours truly.

Turns out she was trying to pay for a train ticket and had mistaken the SKY remote for the phone and when it asked her to type in the credit card number, it just so happens that the first three numbers of her credit card are the perfect match for the porno channel.

So she says.

Offline Claire.

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #162 on: November 29, 2013, 11:16:25 AM »
That is fucking brilliant, can imagine your face ;D
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Offline Caston

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #163 on: November 29, 2013, 11:17:58 AM »
:lmao

Offline Shooter NickGavin

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #164 on: November 29, 2013, 11:24:29 AM »
Staying with my mum at the moment whilst I sort my new house out. She's 70+ and only recently got SKY television and all the gubbins like a decent telly.

Walked in to the lounge yesterday to see Red Hot XXX babes on the TV, my mum with a phone in one hand and a credit card in the other. Cue absolute astonishment, disgust and disappointment from yours truly.

Turns out she was trying to pay for a train ticket and had mistaken the SKY remote for the phone and when it asked her to type in the credit card number, it just so happens that the first three numbers of her credit card are the perfect match for the porno channel.

So she says.

OK Benitle now knows your mum's first 3 digits off by heart, that's his favourite channel. He'll be able to guess the rest.
I got the information from a wrestler called Chris Jericho.

Offline Lfsea

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #165 on: November 29, 2013, 11:27:55 AM »
OK Benitle now knows your mum's first 3 digits off by heart, that's his favourite channel. He'll be able to guess the rest.

The Idea of him knowing my mum's "first three digits" is frankly, fucking disgusting.

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #166 on: November 29, 2013, 11:29:49 AM »
Staying with my mum at the moment whilst I sort my new house out. She's 70+ and only recently got SKY television and all the gubbins like a decent telly.

Walked in to the lounge yesterday to see Red Hot XXX babes on the TV, my mum with a phone in one hand and a credit card in the other. Cue absolute astonishment, disgust and disappointment from yours truly.

Turns out she was trying to pay for a train ticket and had mistaken the SKY remote for the phone and when it asked her to type in the credit card number, it just so happens that the first three numbers of her credit card are the perfect match for the porno channel.

So she says.
That's what I told my wife...

Offline Ziltoid

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #167 on: November 29, 2013, 11:35:56 AM »
Staying with my mum at the moment whilst I sort my new house out. She's 70+ and only recently got SKY television and all the gubbins like a decent telly.

Walked in to the lounge yesterday to see Red Hot XXX babes on the TV, my mum with a phone in one hand and a credit card in the other. Cue absolute astonishment, disgust and disappointment from yours truly.

Turns out she was trying to pay for a train ticket and had mistaken the SKY remote for the phone and when it asked her to type in the credit card number, it just so happens that the first three numbers of her credit card are the perfect match for the porno channel.

So she says.

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Offline Shooter NickGavin

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #168 on: November 29, 2013, 11:36:06 AM »
The Idea of him knowing my mum's "first three digits" is frankly, fucking disgusting.

Tried and tested...tried and tested.
I got the information from a wrestler called Chris Jericho.

Offline ChaChaMooMoo

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #169 on: November 29, 2013, 11:37:34 AM »
Was taking a leak at work last week. Our mens room have 10 pissoirs lined up against the wall, and a huge kickass mirror on the wall. The standard design of many MNCs.

Anyways, last week, I was starting to take a leak and an intern newbie walks in whistling and starts to take a leak 1 pissoir away from mine. He keeps whistling and just rotating his head and looking everywhere - up, left, right, up, straight and so on. And then suddenly stops whistling and starts to stare at my reflection. He is pissing. I am pissing. And he is just standing there staring at me. No blinking, no breathing. Just staring. And after what seems like an eternity my tank got empty and before I could zip up, he asks "Done mate?". I mumbled "Yeah!" and escape out for a wash.

Bloody awkward if you have been through a similar situation.

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #170 on: November 29, 2013, 11:52:37 AM »
When I was in the RAF I was working in the MT section (where they fix vehicles)

A Squadron Leader was having his personal car checked out by my mate.

His wife,who happened to be a stunner,was with him, my mate was checking something out underneath the car.

I'm on the other side drinking a coffee when I hear the Sqd Ldr say to my mate....

"Cpl you are supposed to be looking underneath the car not up my wife's dress"

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #171 on: November 29, 2013, 11:56:12 AM »
Was taking a leak at work last week. Our mens room have 10 pissoirs lined up against the wall, and a huge kickass mirror on the wall. The standard design of many MNCs.

Anyways, last week, I was starting to take a leak and an intern newbie walks in whistling and starts to take a leak 1 pissoir away from mine. He keeps whistling and just rotating his head and looking everywhere - up, left, right, up, straight and so on. And then suddenly stops whistling and starts to stare at my reflection. He is pissing. I am pissing. And he is just standing there staring at me. No blinking, no breathing. Just staring. And after what seems like an eternity my tank got empty and before I could zip up, he asks "Done mate?". I mumbled "Yeah!" and escape out for a wash.

Bloody awkward if you have been through a similar situation.

The most important question in this is why was your workmate ignoring urinal etiquette and were you following it at the time too?
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Offline AlphaDelta

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #172 on: November 29, 2013, 01:11:17 PM »
One of my cringeworthy awkward moments happened a few years ago when I bumped into an old school mate who to be fair was a bit of a boring lad. We agreed to go for a pint the next night for a catch up as you do, so low and behold after two hours of sitting in the Stanley, Huyton supping ale and making small talk I realised he was still a boring fooker.

Next thing as the conversation dries up, someones phone starts ringing with our glorious anthem YNWA. He mutters, "I really dont like that song", to which I let him have it with both barrells mockingly calling him a bitter blue bastard, typical Evertonian, blah, blah blah. I finished with, "so come on bitter, why dont you like that song eh"

To which he replied, deadpan faced and very quietly, "I buried my dad to this song last year!"

Fook me I felt like dying on the spot!!!!  :-X

Needless to say we havent been for a pint since.
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Offline Sir Harvest Fields

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #173 on: November 30, 2013, 06:47:15 AM »
Not sure if ive mentioned it before but when i lived in Wales a young lady was murdered. Smashed over the head with a weight from a set of dumbells by some spotty ginger twat. Anyway, the rumour was her body had been found on a tip near Ammanford etc. Anyway, im int The Old Cross pub having a bevvy and i turn to me mate and say ' You heard about that bird that went missing, i heard she's been dumped ' Geddit? Dump-dumped... Anyway i found it humorous to say the least as it was an off the cuff joke, shame i didnt know her parents were stood the other side of the bar... All went a bit quiet.
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Offline Red Genius

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #174 on: November 30, 2013, 07:41:18 AM »
Not sure if ive mentioned it before but when i lived in Wales a young lady was murdered. Smashed over the head with a weight from a set of dumbells by some spotty ginger twat. Anyway, the rumour was her body had been found on a tip near Ammanford etc. Anyway, im int The Old Cross pub having a bevvy and i turn to me mate and say ' You heard about that bird that went missing, i heard she's been dumped ' Geddit? Dump-dumped... Anyway i found it humorous to say the least as it was an off the cuff joke, shame i didnt know her parents were stood the other side of the bar... All went a bit quiet.

haha - only you Carl ;) Was it on your *blind* side?
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Offline Sir Harvest Fields

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #175 on: November 30, 2013, 10:23:31 AM »
Come on mate, would it have been me if that didnt happen ;)
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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #176 on: November 30, 2013, 02:30:37 PM »
Not so much awkward, but just strange and "out the blue"

I was selling my car last year, and a young woman called to have a look at it.

We're outside my house, talking when she just goes "there's a snail on your shoulder"

I'm like "eh?" - I look at my right shoulder, and see this friggin snail clinging onto my t-shirt on my shoulder.

I just flicked it off and turned to her; there was this like 2-second pause where she doesn't know what to say, and neither did I.
I just carried on, "... it's had one previous owner, etc"

Offline Old Gregg

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #177 on: November 30, 2013, 07:49:34 PM »
... when I'd finished cooking a hefty piece of meat and just as I settled down to enjoy the feast and put the first juicy piece of meat in me mouth, the next track started on the stereo, with the saw sounds and cow screams and it was The Smiths' Meat Is Murder.

Offline fingermouse

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #178 on: December 1, 2013, 12:46:48 AM »
Was out working with a lad who's got a family business. We're leaving a job in his van, and he's doing a three point turn in a quiet street. As he's turning the van, i notice this old bloke waiting for us to finish the manoeuvre in his car, and he's staring at us with a face like thunder.

"What the fuck is that slack jawed old c*nt looking at?" I ask the lad.

"Oh thats my dad" he says

Fucking was as well.


Offline Red Genius

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #179 on: December 1, 2013, 12:56:58 AM »
You crash out at your uncles pad and your 20 year old cousin squirt shaving foam in your hand... and you wake up - still half cut, wipe it across everything, ya face... t-shirt, arms....and you still don't realise wtf has gone on! Twats :)
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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #180 on: December 1, 2013, 12:44:11 PM »
You crash out at your uncles pad and your 20 year old cousin squirt shaving foam in your hand... and you wake up - still half cut, wipe it across everything, ya face... t-shirt, arms....and you still don't realise wtf has gone on! Twats :)

That's not awkward, that's fucking funny!
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Offline alonsoisared

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #181 on: December 1, 2013, 06:00:01 PM »
Was out working with a lad who's got a family business. We're leaving a job in his van, and he's doing a three point turn in a quiet street. As he's turning the van, i notice this old bloke waiting for us to finish the manoeuvre in his car, and he's staring at us with a face like thunder.

"What the fuck is that slack jawed old c*nt looking at?" I ask the lad.

"Oh thats my dad" he says

Fucking was as well.


slack jawed old c*nt, haha quality
"What the fuck is that slack jawed old c*nt looking at?" I ask the lad.

"Oh thats my dad" he says

Fucking was as well.

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #182 on: December 1, 2013, 10:19:18 PM »
You send your 7 year old a text saying, "Where is the laptop you little c*nt", instead of you little runt  :D

Offline The G in Gerrard

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #183 on: December 1, 2013, 10:21:04 PM »
You send your 7 year old a text saying, "Where is the laptop you little c*nt", instead of you little runt  :D

:lmao

Offline Mashy-rawr!nooo

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #184 on: December 1, 2013, 10:52:25 PM »
Sent a snapchat to my ex-girlfriend wishing her luck on her finals this week with her name included ....to my current girlfriend.

I just wanted to crawl up and cry.
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Offline Sir Psycho Sexy

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #185 on: December 1, 2013, 10:58:08 PM »
Sent a snapchat to my ex-girlfriend wishing her luck on her finals this week with her name included ....to my current girlfriend.

I just wanted to crawl up and cry.
so you sent it to your current or ex?
« Last Edit: December 1, 2013, 10:59:50 PM by Sir Psycho Sexy »
I would honestly let Wijnaldum jizz in my face right now

Offline Mashy-rawr!nooo

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #186 on: December 1, 2013, 11:05:13 PM »
so you sent it to your current or ex?

Misword sorry, Intended for ex and got sent to current.
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Offline The G in Gerrard

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #187 on: December 1, 2013, 11:10:50 PM »
You sneeze and fart at the same time

;D

Offline Pyro

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #188 on: December 2, 2013, 12:48:31 AM »
Was out working with a lad who's got a family business. We're leaving a job in his van, and he's doing a three point turn in a quiet street. As he's turning the van, i notice this old bloke waiting for us to finish the manoeuvre in his car, and he's staring at us with a face like thunder.

"What the fuck is that slack jawed old c*nt looking at?" I ask the lad.

"Oh thats my dad" he says

Fucking was as well.

:wellin
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Offline evie

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #189 on: December 2, 2013, 08:04:33 PM »
You wake up in the morning, with your shoes covered in puke next to the bed and can't for the world remember what happened the night before (though you had this vivid dream about making out with that guy who was at the party last night) and have to call your friend who basically tells you:

"You drank red wine and some vodka drinks (stupid combination), made out with Alex and then you puked all over the kitchen floor. By the way, we told Alex to clean it up, which he did, while we dragged you to the bathroom to clean your face."

Probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. Imagine your friends having the person you fancy to clean up your puke.  :-[

Things didn't exactly go any further with Alex ;D

This was back in 2006 or something so I've definitely grown up. It's either wine OR beer/cider OR drinks for me these days and I know my limits too.

Offline Crosby_Nick_Lover_69@

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #190 on: December 2, 2013, 08:30:46 PM »
...you realise who We'llShredthewrappingpaper is, and it should have been obvious!


When I was a teenager, I was "enjoying" myself one night, and decided to use lotion. Apparently the fapfapfap was quite loud, because the next morning my mother asked, "what was that noice coming from your room last night?"

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #191 on: December 2, 2013, 09:11:41 PM »
...you realise who We'llShredthewrappingpaper is, and it should have been obvious!


When I was a teenager, I was "enjoying" myself one night, and decided to use lotion. Apparently the fapfapfap was quite loud, because the next morning my mother asked, "what was that noice coming from your room last night?"

:lmao

And your response was?

Offline Crosby_Nick_Lover_69@

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #192 on: December 2, 2013, 09:14:28 PM »
:lmao

And your response was?
I think I had a deer in the headlights look for a moment and then denied knowing what she was on about.

Offline McJacker

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #193 on: December 2, 2013, 09:22:45 PM »
i once had a sales man come to my office trying to flog some crap i didnt want

i accepted his business card and wished him well as he went out the door

he came back a minute later wanting to write his email address on the card

I had to fish it out of the bin in his plain view for him to do this

he took it in his stride and pretended like it never happened, wrote his email and left

Offline redgriffin73

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #194 on: December 2, 2013, 09:57:07 PM »
i once had a sales man come to my office trying to flog some crap i didnt want

i accepted his business card and wished him well as he went out the door

he came back a minute later wanting to write his email address on the card

I had to fish it out of the bin in his plain view for him to do this

he took it in his stride and pretended like it never happened, wrote his email and left

In a similar vein, several times I've been caught out by pretending to write down someone's phone number over the phone when I can't be bothered, and they have then asked me to read it back to check I wrote it down right. Have to pretend I can't read my own writing. ;D
Rafa Benitez: "I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager. Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone."

Offline 007.lankyguy

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #195 on: December 2, 2013, 09:57:07 PM »
i once had a sales man come to my office trying to flog some crap i didnt want

i accepted his business card and wished him well as he went out the door

he came back a minute later wanting to write his email address on the card

I had to fish it out of the bin in his plain view for him to do this

he took it in his stride and pretended like it never happened, wrote his email and left
:lmao I can't believe you genuinely took it out of the bin instead of pretending you lost it
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Offline 007.lankyguy

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #196 on: December 2, 2013, 10:03:11 PM »
In a similar vein, several times I've been caught out by pretending to write down someone's phone number over the phone when I can't be bothered, and they have then asked me to read it back to check I wrote it down right. Have to pretend I can't read my own writing. ;D
Why don't you just pretend you messed up writing it halfway through and get them to read it out again?
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Offline redgriffin73

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #197 on: December 2, 2013, 10:04:52 PM »
Why don't you just pretend you messed up writing it halfway through and get them to read it out again?

Dunno really, think I just get thrown by not expecting someone to ask me to read their number back and can't think what to say.
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Offline theredguy03

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #198 on: December 2, 2013, 10:28:51 PM »
You start engaging conversation to a relative in public but realise instead you are talking to a complete stranger.

My favourite all time LFC player? Tough choice.

Offline gerrard88

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Re: That awkward moment when...
« Reply #199 on: December 2, 2013, 10:33:10 PM »
i once had a sales man come to my office trying to flog some crap i didnt want

i accepted his business card and wished him well as he went out the door

he came back a minute later wanting to write his email address on the card

I had to fish it out of the bin in his plain view for him to do this

he took it in his stride and pretended like it never happened, wrote his email and left

I have just laughed for 5 mins reading this hahahahahhaha
“Before, I said that they were maybe the best supporters in England. Now maybe they are the best supporters in Europe.”
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