Topic: Cancer

[Lady_brandybuck]

Mum just got diagnosed with a malignant tumour on her liver this evening. Absolutely bewildered with what to do with myself. Scans tomorrow to find out if its primary or secondary. What a fucking shit bucket this disease is. Can't imagine what's going through Mum's head.

From what I've read, it seems we should be keeping our fingers crossed it's the type that has spread to her liver, and not started there.

 

I hope all the best in her case mate, and it's still in early stages. Keep strong for her and yourself.

[Raul!]

My Dad had a PET scan, including of the brain a couple of weeks ago.  All clear, thankfully.  He still gets occasional seizures as a left over from the removal of the tumour in the brain.

Let's keep hoping for the best.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Hold your head up! Treatment of Lymphoma is pretty good these days and since you write he's in the early stages I'd say there's reason to believe. It's a shocker alright but you've got to believe. If you need to get something off your chest feel free to drop me a PM.

That pic hit me hard the first time I saw it a while back. Eventhough I was 32 at the time my dad died I could see myself as the little boy in that pic. It's a really powerful picture - especially if you've got a loved one struggling with or lost a loved one to cancer.

Scaryscouse, I wish your dad and your family all the best.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

My Dad had a PET scan, including of the brain a couple of weeks ago.  All clear, thankfully.  He still gets occasional seizures as a left over from the removal of the tumour in the brain.

Let's keep hoping for the best.

That's great news, Raul!

Fingers crossed for you and your family...

[Crosby Nick]

My Dad had a PET scan, including of the brain a couple of weeks ago.  All clear, thankfully.  He still gets occasional seizures as a left over from the removal of the tumour in the brain.

Let's keep hoping for the best.

Hi Raul,

How long ago was his operation to remove the tumour? And what was the recovery process like? My uncle had an operation to remove one yesterday, obviously will take a while to get test results and stuff back but we're keeping our fingers crossed for good news.

[timiano]

I hope all the best in her case mate, and it's still in early stages. Keep strong for her and yourself.

Thank-you, and all of you. She's being referred to Aintree today to a specialist unit, as the general hospital in Warrington is a bit crap at stuff on the liver apparently. So hopefully we'll know more soon.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Just found out a close friend of mine has been diagnosed with Melanoma. So apart from removing a big chunk of tissue the docs have removed two lymph nodes to check them for lymphoma as well. Just to make sure the cancer hasn't spread to them lymphs too. He'll be given the test results on Jan 24th.

Fucking hate this disease.....

[John C]

My Dad had a PET scan, including of the brain a couple of weeks ago.  All clear, thankfully.  He still gets occasional seizures as a left over from the removal of the tumour in the brain.

Let's keep hoping for the best.

"occasional" means he's really lucky and doing great then mate, good luck to him.

[Scaryscouse]

THanks a million Bennekov, I may well take you up on that offer mate.

[Cato]

Does anyone know anything at all about Carcinoid Syndrome? One of my best mates has been diagnosed with it, and since it's so rare in people her age, no-one seems to really know where to start. If anyone has been unfortunate enough to know someone who has it or deal with it themselves, it would be good to get some advice / info from you. Cheers.

Loads of love to everyone in here who is suffering / fighting / caring for someone with this horrible disease.

Hi Rhi,
Try this link, it's made by a drug firm and is a good one-

http://www.carcinoid.com/index.jsp?usertrack.filter_applied=true&NovaId=4029462066891373804

Also, try ringing the Macmillan helpline on 0808 808 0000 This is for friends and family, as well as the patient. Hope that helps, Cathy.

[Maggie May]

It's a bitch isn't it?

Dad'll have been gone 5 months in this weekend. I still can't get used to it. I miss him immensely and still sometimes in the middle of the night in streams of tears. I don't think I've had a full nights sleep since he passed away and the image I've got of his last breath is still fresh in my mind. When I go home from uni for the weekend I always make the trip to his grave. I know it may sound mental but I feel a bit of solace and comfort speaking to his headstone, updating him on how we're doing, how Tranmere are doing and letting him know that mum hasn't trashed his car yet! I would do anything to be able to say all that to his face though!

Hope you're mum will be ok mate, it's a tough time but you can all get through it with the treatment given if it's a cancer that'll respond and through being strong as a family!

I don't think its mental at all.  I think its very nice that you talk to your Dad.  Perhaps you might try talking to him at night when sleeping is difficult - perhaps about the old days and the daft things you got up to.    Your grief is still very raw, and your tears are perfectly natural.     

[Welshred]

I don't think its mental at all.  I think its very nice that you talk to your Dad.  Perhaps you might try talking to him at night when sleeping is difficult - perhaps about the old days and the daft things you got up to.    Your grief is still very raw, and your tears are perfectly natural.     

Thanks Maggie. It's 5 months today. Shed a few tears just thinking about it.

[Maggie May]

Thanks Maggie. It's 5 months today. Shed a few tears just thinking about it.

Well  I dunno if you believe in this stuff (I sort of do because I've seen and heard of things which have no logical explanation), or could it just be coincidence that I made the suggestion that you talk to your Dad at night instead of lying awake weeping on the date of his anniversary?  Thing is, and I hope you believe me, that I've been thinking of saying this to you for the past three days but hesitated because I wasn't sure how you'd take it, and decided to "bite the bullet" and do it only today.  Perhaps tonight could be a good time to begin.  I hope it brings you peace and tranquility. 

[Welshred]

Well  I dunno if you believe in this stuff (I sort of do because I've seen and heard of things which have no logical explanation), or could it just be coincidence that I made the suggestion that you talk to your Dad at night instead of lying awake weeping on the date of his anniversary?  Thing is, and I hope you believe me, that I've been thinking of saying this to you for the past three days but hesitated because I wasn't sure how you'd take it, and decided to "bite the bullet" and do it only today.  Perhaps tonight could be a good time to begin.  I hope it brings you peace and tranquility. 

I completely believe you. There were a few strange goings on the morning he died. He verbally ordered his supper to the corner of the room there was no one sitting in, we believe my grandad was there and had come to collect him. On Christmas Day my nephew looked out into the hall and said "hello grandad" and my niece always looks into different areas of the room and talks to him as well. Very much believe that he's still with us, looking over us and protecting us.

[Maggie May]

I completely believe you. There were a few strange goings on the morning he died. He verbally ordered his supper to the corner of the room there was no one sitting in, we believe my grandad was there and had come to collect him. On Christmas Day my nephew looked out into the hall and said "hello grandad" and my niece always looks into different areas of the room and talks to him as well. Very much believe that he's still with us, looking over us and protecting us.

That's lovely.  You were and clearly are a very close and loving family.  I firmly believe that love transcends death.  You're all being well watched over and kept safe.   You'll sleep soundly tonight.

[Mutton Geoff]

My niece is fighting Bowel Cancer she is a real fighter and so far so good, this chemo is tough though for her.

[John C]

My niece is fighting Bowel Cancer she is a real fighter and so far so good, this chemo is tough though for her.

Fucking shit that mate, I couldn't bare my nieces going through it. Good luck to her.

[Mutton Geoff]

Cheers John she is tougher than I am. Still enjoys herself except for the down times on  Chemo.

[Maggie May]

Cheers John she is tougher than I am. Still enjoys herself except for the down times on  Chemo.

Good luck to her Geoff.  Great to see she's got a strong attitude, which helps enormously. 

[kmo1969]

I lost a dear friend today to this horrible disease. When I last saw her just before Christmas and we knew that this may have been her last Christmas with us she looked great and so full of life. Absolutely devastated to hear the news today that she'd passed away. RIP Pauline. Xx

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

So sorry for your loss, kmo. RIP Pauline.

[Marty 85]

My Granda has gone down hill in the past week. He was diagnosed with Prostate cancer 8 years ago and given 6 months to live but reacted really well to treatment. He's been sick before but always gotten better. I'm just realising now that I don't think he will get better this time around.

He's got Lymphodema in his legs and they so large and swollen he can't walk. He did have Lymphodema before but again reacted well to treatment and the bandages and massage cleared it up so he was always able to get up to the road for his bet and do the weekly shop. I was cutting his hair last week and he seemed fine, I mentioned that it might take a while for the treatment to work and within a few months he should be up and walking about again but he had a visit to the cancer unit about a week ago where the specialist he's been seeing for years basically arranged for a hospice nurse to visit and said goodbye to him. Ever since then he's deteriorated really fast. He can't even keep his eyes open when talking to you in the afternoon. This is a man who I'll always rememember going to bed at after 12 and waking up at 4 to brush and wash the front passage. It's so sad to see. He's been going to bed around 7 for a couple of years now but he still sat up half the night and would still get up at 4 or 5 to clean the house for my nan getting up.

I don't know how he could get like that in just a week. I thought maybe the doctors had upped his morphine dose as he can't keep his eyes open, but they haven't. I think it's to do with his recent visit to the cancer unit and the fact that the doc said there was nothing else they could do, he's maybe lost some fight. I often hear that about Cancer, how your mental state can affect how badly or quickly it takes hold. I grew up living next door to him and have always been very close to him but we usually only take about sport and unimportant things. I've lost a family member before let alone understand how Cancer works so I don't know how he'll progress. I expect there will be a point where he can't get out've bed and that wll be where he spends his final days but at the minute he's just sitting barely conscious for half the day, in a chair, which isn't much better so I think there's a chance he could pass anytime and I would like to have a proper talk with him but at the same time don't want to be premature and scare him further.

It's pretty fucked up I think that we have a fairly big family that is relatively close, yet everyone seems to not want to talk about it and pretend as if everything is fine or is just getting on with it on their own in their own way.

[Cato]

So sorry that your Granda is deteriorating. You're probably right in your suspicion that hearing the news that there's no more active treatment to offer him, has resulted in him becoming sleepier and less able.
He certainly has done very well, given his original prognosis, he's clearly a strong, determined and brave man.
It's likely that he'll sleep for longer and longer periods and not really want to eat and then not want to drink. It'd be good to have a word with the hospice nurse about what the plan is about his medications that will keep him as comfortable as possible.
It's difficult to start a conversation about how much you love someone if you've never done that sort of thing with them before and as you say, you don't want to scare him.
Touch is often a way of communicating without the use of words. You cut his hair, so maybe you could do his shaving for him and give his hands a massage. As the end approaches, the circulation is quite poor and feet and hands get cold. A foot and hand massage is very comforting and if you chat quietly to him, he'll be aware of the nice feeling and know how much you love him.
I feel sad for you, losing your lovely Granda. If I can help in any way at all I'd be glad to.

[JohnnoWhite]

Sorry to hear of your Grandpa's demise Marty. I hope what I tell you below can help your family face the reality and get talking openly about the coming end of his lfe.

Just had some similar news from my sister about her husband Kev who is same age as me 67. Diagnosed with prostate cancer 2 weeks ago, they say that he now has bone cancer concentrated in the pelvic area and there's little curative that can be done as it's progressed too far.  Of course there's a  whole load of ameliorative treatment that they can give him to control his condition and he's on several dosages of medication. His prognosis is that with good diet maintenance and sensible lifestyle choices he's got 5 or 6 years.

So what does he do? He re-decorates his daughter's bedroom (she's 24 and at home) just to focus his mind on positive things and to get a much-needed task done while he still has the energy and the capability to deliver it.

Knowing him, I thought he would clam up about it and go into a dark place but it's looking like the opposite. It seems like he's been given the green light to open up more than he's ever done and now it's out in the open, everyone is relieved and feels like they already have permission to talk about it whenever Kev wants.

It's much healthier to be able to discuss terminal illness - whatever it is - with people you love. Life is no rehearsal and there's no repeat chances where you get to tell them how much they matter. Best of luck Marty.

[loozy]

Hope and my thoughts to all that have family suffering from cancer at the moment.

One of my pupils is going through it right now with lung cancer and if it is a hard time for the class and myself, I cannot imagine what the family must be going through.

[Bioluminescence]

Wishing everyone all the best and sending lots of healing vibes.

Marty, got to agree with Cato and Johnnowhite - be there for him and if you can't find the words, show him you love him. Best of luck to you.

How old is your pupil, loozy? Hoping for the best for him/her.

My uncle had a scan last week but no news yet. My Mum saw him last week and said he didn't look well. My cousin's taking good care of him and I can only keep my fingers crossed. Bastard of an illness.

I'm ok, still suffering with pain and fatigue. And the huge amount of weight I put on, which is not coming off. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this doesn't matter but I'm finding the lack of independence and control very difficult. I just want my body and life back. More patience needed.

[JohnnoWhite]

Good luck fella - battle the bastard thing to a standstill - and win!

[Crosby Nick]

I wrote about a month ago how my uncle was having an op on a brain tumour. Turns out it was a very aggressive one - it had grown to the size of a duck egg in about the space of a month. It's also growing back and given his poor recovery from the first op they think he's not up to any treatment for it. Seems like there's next to nothing they can do for him.

A few weeks before Christmas he was fine, now he's about to be moved to a hospice. Crazy, brutal stuff.

[JohnnoWhite]

Tragic mate. My thoughts go out to you, the family and especially him.

[Crosby Nick]

Tragic mate. My thoughts go out to you, the family and especially him.

Thanks Johnno. It's just the speed of it all that is such a shock. It always sounded like the longterm prognosis wasn't great but in this day and age it's still a shock that it can be so final, so quickly.

[loozy]

How old is your pupil, loozy? Hoping for the best for him/her.

My uncle had a scan last week but no news yet. My Mum saw him last week and said he didn't look well. My cousin's taking good care of him and I can only keep my fingers crossed. Bastard of an illness.

I'm ok, still suffering with pain and fatigue. And the huge amount of weight I put on, which is not coming off. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this doesn't matter but I'm finding the lack of independence and control very difficult. I just want my body and life back. More patience needed.

Hope your recovery will continue well. I'll send you some patience if that helps 

My pupil is a boy, 17 years old, passionate and talented footie player, never smoked a day in his life, healthy as a fiddle... 

[Welshred]

Monday was 6 months since my dad passed away. It's gone so quickly but so slowly at the same time. I miss you so much Dad!

[Roady]

Monday was 6 months since my dad passed away. It's gone so quickly but so slowly at the same time. I miss you so much Dad!

my heart goes out to you mate. I lost my dad in 2009 through leukemia.Horrible seeing someone so fit and healthy turn into someone almost unrecognisable.Still tears me apart to this day.He was 62.All i can say is remember the good times and without giving a lecture cry! i kept it in to stay strong for the family,only man left on our side. But i still cry to this day,not every day,but every now and again..it bloody helps.

Thoughts go out to anyone and everyone on this thread.its a shitter of a disease.For those suffering obviously but for those around someone suffering also.Stay strong

[Welshred]

my heart goes out to you mate. I lost my dad in 2009 through leukemia.Horrible seeing someone so fit and healthy turn into someone almost unrecognisable.Still tears me apart to this day.He was 62.All i can say is remember the good times and without giving a lecture cry! i kept it in to stay strong for the family,only man left on our side. But i still cry to this day,not every day,but every now and again..it bloody helps.

Thoughts go out to anyone and everyone on this thread.its a shitter of a disease.For those suffering obviously but for those around someone suffering also.Stay strong

Same here mate. I didn't know this right now but the greatest man I had ever met was no more and, at 59, was being looked after by his 25 year old son. That just shouldn't have happened. I woke up on Monday morning with the girl that I've been seeing, it's only been a few weeks, and she now thinks I'm a right douche cos I went to the toilet to cry cos I didn't want to cry in front of her.

Want to know something spooky though? I woke up on Monday at the exact same time as he really started his decline. 6.35 was when his breathing really started to become laboured, when the pain cranked up and when he asked for painkillers for the first time since the cancer was diagnosed just over 6 months earlier. He clung on for another 4 hours though, but I'm so glad he's not in pain anymore.

[Crosby Nick]

Welshy, you've been a credit to yourself and tour the family with the way youve coped with things. Good luck to you.

[Maggie May]

Same here mate. I didn't know this right now but the greatest man I had ever met was no more and, at 59, was being looked after by his 25 year old son. That just shouldn't have happened. I woke up on Monday morning with the girl that I've been seeing, it's only been a few weeks, and she now thinks I'm a right douche cos I went to the toilet to cry cos I didn't want to cry in front of her.

Want to know something spooky though? I woke up on Monday at the exact same time as he really started his decline. 6.35 was when his breathing really started to become laboured, when the pain cranked up and when he asked for painkillers for the first time since the cancer was diagnosed just over 6 months earlier. He clung on for another 4 hours though, but I'm so glad he's not in pain anymore.

I'd be willing to bet that your young lady thinks nothing of the kind.

Nowt spooky about it.  You and your Dad had such a strong bond.  Have you tried having a chat with him in the late evenings before you go to sleep?

[Welshred]

Welshy, you've been a credit to yourself and tour the family with the way youve coped with things. Good luck to you.

I haven't, but thanks mate.

[Crosby Nick]

I haven't, but thanks mate.

I might have been going overboard then!

But the uni, reffing, fitness thing is all commendable. It's good that you've been able to get on with that and keep distracted.

[Welshred]

I feel like I've been an absolute mess mate. Getting myself into some situations that I shouldn't have and probably not taking very ethical/moral actions that won't make people proud of me. Plus, despite knowing how my mental health state is, I still get myself into reckless situations tat could spiral me out of control.

[Maggie May]

I feel like I've been an absolute mess mate. Getting myself into some situations that I shouldn't have and probably not taking very ethical/moral actions that won't make people proud of me. Plus, despite knowing how my mental health state is, I still get myself into reckless situations tat could spiral me out of control.

Well seeing as you're only 26, I'd have thought that was not unremarkable behaviour for your age.  I respectfully suggest you judge yourself too harshly.  I certainly don't see you as an absolute mess.  Seeing your Dad die, especially in those circumstances, is a shattering emotional experience.  Cut yourself some slack love. 

And talk to your Dad.  I do.