I pissed myself once because the teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet. Must have been in Primary 5, as the teacher had a green blackboard. Asked the witch about 10 times in the space of half an hour. Eventually stood up and said of she doesn't let me go, I'm going to do it there and then because I can't hold it in any longer. Fucking c*nt still said no. So I pissed there and then.
I was about 13 or 14 and my stomach was turning right over in class. I kept saying to the teacher that he had to let me go to the toilet. Sadistic fucker wouldn't. It got to the point where I thought: 'If I don't go now I will shit myself.' So I just got up and went. I'm down the hallway and the teacher comes out the other end shouting at me to come back, but there's no fucking chance given the concoction that was cruising through my lower bowel.
I got into the toilet and just let rip. Awful it was. Squelchy and wet as fuck. Like a spray gun with a partial obstruction over the nozzle. The teacher actually poked his head round the toilet door to have a go too. What he was met with was a combination of sensory assaults that he mustn't have been able to deal with. Not only did it stink, truly stink, it was that awful hot stench that clings to the room. Coupled with the sound like a freshly opened bottle of ketchup and he just decided to retreat. I finished up, felt a lot better, went back to lesson. He didn't breath a word. That's it you beaut, I want you to memorise that noise and relive that festering stench every time you see me. Not awkward, just had my memory jogged by some other stories in here. Awkward for him maybe.
