Roy "I'm not here" Hodgson
Roy Hodgson was born on 9th August 1947. His father was a native of Liverpool who supported the people's club, Everton FC. He is a former footballer who plied his trade in the lower divisions of English football before becoming a manager.
Mr. Hodgson, who speaks twelve different languages, including Danish, Swedish, Finnish and Norwegian, has vast managerial experience over two continents. Despite his linguistic skills, Hodgson has trouble understanding scousers to the detriment of his current job. He is now aided by two scouse promoters and interpreters, Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard. A highly employable/employed manager, he has managed over twenty clubs over three decades. Stints at formerly top clubs in Europe, Orebro, Malmo and Viking among others, produced modest success in the 1980s. In between managerial jobs, and aided by his language skills, Roy Hodgson is also a television pundit for Sky Sports. Friends from the media include Martin Tyler, his monkey and Harry Redknapp. He aspires to be England manager and hopes to improve on the form of his current club. Affectionately known as uncle Hodgson, Hodgson longs for a return of affection of kopites akin to his predecessors, Rafael Benitez and Kenny Dalglish. Frequent laments of the difficulties of his current position include the players, ex-managers and supporters of the club. These lamentations are reaffirmed and supported by his colleagues in the media, although disputed by internet football statisticians.
His team is currently in 12th place and ahead of relegation quagmire by 5 points. Roy Hodgson has a career record of 4 wins for every 10 matches played. He currently has support from his employers, Christian Purslow and New England Sports Ventures, in his efforts to maintain Premier league status this season. To date, Roy Hodgson and Liverpool FC have suffered defeats to Blackpool, Wolverhampton, Manchester United, Everton, Northampton, Newcastle, Manchester City, Tottenham and Stoke this season.