I had an all-day budget meeting today and lost the will to live, so I decided to write an ode to poor little Sterling…
There once was a boy called Raheem,
And playing for us was his dream.
But then it went shitty,
He fucked off to City,
To play for an oil-funded team.
If only he’d stayed with the best,
And kept that old bird on his chest.
He’d be working with Klopp,
With the cream of the crop,
For the best team throughout the North West.
When Brendan told him to be ‘steady’
He clearly just wasn’t quite ready.
But several years later,
The spoilt little traitor,
Just looks like he still needs his teddy.
As Klopp’s revolution grows stronger,
And as Pep loses passion and hunger
There is no coming back,
And as they start to crack,
He just wishes he’d stayed with us longer.
With Liverpool looking more able,
And whilst City are looking unstable,
There’s 6 months to go,
And he’s fighting with Joe,
And they’re 9 points behind in the table.
At Anfield he’s now a disaster,
Despite all the tricks that he mastered.
He may earn more cash,
And he loves being flash,
But there’s still only one greedy bastard…