Topic: Favourite Quotes

[scousepower]

'he treats objects like women, man'

[BIGdavalad]

"We have taken about 5 acres of Officers and 200 acres of Other Ranks"

An annonymous officer from the Coldstream Guards sending a message informing his superiors of the POWS taken after the British victory over the Italians in Operation Compass in North Africa, where the prisoner columns looked like this:

[BIGdavalad]

Also a couple of dispatches from Wellington, who I believe may not have thought much of clerks and politicians interfering in his war:

Gentlemen,

Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H.M.ship from London to Lisbon and thence by dispatch to our headquarters.

We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty's Government holds me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.

Unfortunately the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion's petty cash and there has been a hideous confusion as the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstance, since we are war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall.

This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue either one with the best of my ability, but I cannot do both:

To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London or perchance.

To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.

Your most obedient servant,

Wellington

and

(sent to Lord Bradford, the Secretary of State for War)

My Lord,

If I attempted to answer the mass of futile correspondance that surrounds me, I should be debarred from all serious business of campaigning.

I must remind your lordship - for the last time - that so long as I retain an independent position, I shall see that no officer under my command is debarred by attending to the futile drivelling of mere quill pushers in your Lordship's Office - from attending to his first duty - which is, and has always been, so to train the private men under his command that they may, without question, beat any force opposed to them in the field.

I am,
My Lord,
Your obedient servant,

Wellington

[bakstabba]

Adam L. Gordon  - Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone -- Kindness in another's trouble, Courage in your own.

[kkhaku]

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.  - Arndold

You are where you are and what you are because of the dominating thoughts that occupy your mind. - John C Maxell

[BIGdavalad]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them under control. I trust you are not in too much distress."

Captain Eric Moody of British Airways after all four of his Boeing 747's engines had shut down in a volcanic ash cloud over Indonesia.

A classic British understatement, I'm sure you'll agree.

He later likened attempting to land the 747 in almost zero visability as "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse"

[Istanbul Therapy Group]

Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans- John Lennon

Love the sentiment behind it, stop talking about doing it, do it.

[Finn Solomon]

This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstance, since we are war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall.

Wellington was a magnificent hard bastard, love reading about his military campaigns.

"Any man is ready to believe two things about any woman. One, that she is weaker than him and two, that she finds him attractive." - Claudia Black

[AndyInVA]

winston churchill, a great source of quotes

lady astor - if i was your wife i would poison your tea

winnie - if i was your husband I would drink it

which i think is a nice way of saying, fuck you

[spanishscouse]

"When the world forgets about the love of power, only then will we know the power of love"

James Marshall Hendrix

[MadErik]

From 'Andrew Barton'

‘ “ Fight on, my men,’”Sir Andrew says,
“ A little I’m hurt, but yet not slain,
I’ll but lie down and bleed awhile,
And then I’ll rise to fight again."

[Aristotle]

Might not be the most famous one on here, but it's one that will never be lived down.

"Fucking Liverpool I'm off to play FIFA" May 25th 2005, half-time in the CL Final.

[Zappa]

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
 Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
 Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
 Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

And strange to tell, among that Earthen Lot
 Some could articulate, while others not:
 And suddenly one more impatient cried--
 "Who is the Potter, pray, and who the Pot?"

Indeed, the Idols I have loved so long
 Have done my Credit in Men's Eye much wrong:
 Have drown'd my Honour in a shallow Cup,
 And sold my Reputation for a Song.

From
Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám (1048 -1131 AD)

[Finn Solomon]

Might not be the most famous one on here, but it's one that will never be lived down.

"Fucking Liverpool I'm off to play FIFA" May 25th 2005, half-time in the CL Final.

I did the exact same thing! Pro Evo in my case.

[Spoo]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them under control. I trust you are not in too much distress."

Captain Eric Moody of British Airways after all four of his Boeing 747's engines had shut down in a volcanic ash cloud over Indonesia.

A classic British understatement, I'm sure you'll agree.

He later likened attempting to land the 747 in almost zero visability as "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse"

Like Lee Evans says all pilots have to be like that....posh bastards who you just know will get you there safe. They can't come on the tannoy and say 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG, oh my god!! Have you looked down!!!!' That is an immense quote though and its just so British.

Its like that Chesley Sullenburger III (immense name) bloke who landed on the Hudson river.......'air traffic controllers bricking it going so you're gonna land at (random airport) right!'......calm as you like...'no we're going in the Hudson'     balls made of pure brass.

[Julio]

If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever
-- George Orwell, 1984

[Lady_brandybuck]

 "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible." T. E. Lawrence

[NineTails20]

Two of my favourites came from Freddie Mercury, for sheer campness and hilarity.

Sid Vicious: "OI! Fred! I see you're still trying to bring ballet to the masses?".

Freddie: "Ah, Mr. Ferocious. Well, we're doing our best, dear.".


Roger Taylor: "I thought we were all equal in this band?"

Freddie: "Some of us are more equal than others.".

[Corkboy]

It's a mess, ain't it Sheriff?

If it ain't, it'll do til a mess gets here.

[Hazell]

Roger Taylor: "I thought we were all equal in this band?"

Freddie: "Some of us are more equal than others.".

That's from 'Animal Farm', no?

[RJH]

That's from 'Animal Farm', no?

I don't think Queen were in that.

[Hazell]

I don't think Queen were in that.

Don't know. Though I do know that George Orwell had 'Don't Stop Me Now' playing on his gramophone on a loop whilst writing it.

[berrno3333]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them under control. I trust you are not in too much distress."

Captain Eric Moody of British Airways after all four of his Boeing 747's engines had shut down in a volcanic ash cloud over Indonesia.
Superb.

A classic British understatement, I'm sure you'll agree.

He later likened attempting to land the 747 in almost zero visability as "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse"

[RedmeisterOZ]

“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.”
Chuck Palahniuk

[BIGdavalad]

"I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids"

Pope Benedict XVI

[Redwhiteandnotblue]

Sir Thomas Beecham, the famous St. Helens born orchestra conductor:

“Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands - and all you can do is scratch it”

[Trada]

No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.
George S. Patton

Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.
Patti Wilson

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein

 A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut
Albert Einstein

And of course Groucho Marxs he had some great ones.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

[kavah]

A classic British understatement, I'm sure you'll agree.

He later likened attempting to land the 747 in almost zero visability as "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse"

love it. I'm sure there's another one on here about the Battle of Imjin River during the Korean War

600 British soldiers opposed an invading force of 30,000 Chinese troops.
Reporting to his American superior, Brigadier Tom Brodie of the Gloucestershire Regiment admitted the situation was "a bit sticky". of course this failed to secure reinforcements or permission to fall back.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/1285708.stm

[The Bill Hicks Appreciation Society]

"With all the horrible, horrible shit that your priest is pumping into your kid's head, his dick should be the least of your worries, honestly. That's just a little mouthwash and a few years of therapy'll get rid of that. That Jesus shit will torture you for a lifetime."
- Doug Stanhope

[Trada]

and of course the great Bill Hicks.

Yes the last poster did make me think of him.

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.”

“You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.”

“If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.”

"We are losing the war against drugs." You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

“They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.”

“If child molestation is actually your concern, how come we don't see Bradley tanks knocking down Catholic churches?”

[Oingy Boingy]

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen.....

[BIGdavalad]

love it. I'm sure there's another one on here about the Battle of Imjin River during the Korean War

600 British soldiers opposed an invading force of 30,000 Chinese troops.
Reporting to his American superior, Brigadier Tom Brodie of the Gloucestershire Regiment admitted the situation was "a bit sticky". of course this failed to secure reinforcements or permission to fall back.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/1285708.stm

Yes, British understatement does occasionally bite us on the behind. Still, it's better than showing the colonials that you're worried.

The last transmission from the Glosters on Imjin:

"Am shutting down the wireless. We will try to break out"

A couple of other Korean War quotes:

A Royal Ulster Rifles officer, when asked what the battle of 'Happy Valley' had been like (a rearguard action north of Seoul; the RUR were left in lurch when Americans on the flanks pulled back; the Chinese attacked from the flank while the RUR battlegroup was pulling back down a valley; 1 RUR lost 157 men killed or captured in one night. the CO was KIA; the OC of the armoured squadron supporting them was KIA and the entire armoured squadron was destroyed.):

"It was very noisy, and there were a lot of unpleasent peasants."


Lt Col Douglas Drysdale, CO of 41 Commando, RM, was tasked to fight a battalion-sized task force north to reinforce USMC 1st Div CP just south of Chosin Reservoir. Axis was a 12-mile road, along which three Chinese regiments were lying in wait.

Gen. OP Smith, CO, 1st USMC: "Break through - at all costs."
Drysdale: "Right. We'll give them a show."

[BIGdavalad]

Sir Colin Campbell, commander of the Highland Brigade after the 93rd Regiment (later the Sutherland Highlanders) had repulsed Russian cavalry in the action later known as the 'Thin Red Line'. Against all military logic, the 93rd did not form square to meet the cavalry charge.

"I knew the 93rd, and I did not think it worth the trouble of forming a square."


Another infantry/cavalry one, Sir Andrew Agnew at the Battle of Dettingen after the French Household Cavalry (pre-Revolution, obviously) had charged into his 21st of Foot and he had formed the Regiment into a square around the cavalry and had his men fire their volleys into the mass of horse in their midst:

King George II: "Ah, Sir Andrew! I hear the French rode into your Regiment this morning?"
Sir Andrew: "Aye, if it please your Majesty. But they didna get back oot!"

[southalbertred]

'When you go home, tell them of us and say: "For your tomorrow, we gave our today."

WWII quote from the Kohima war memorial in India

[Art Vandelay]

"Do not throw the arrow which will return against you."

"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

"A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

"You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word."

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."

[RedMarko]

It is better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do.

Just seen I had this back in 2005.

I've had 2 kids since, and if they ever think this is a top quote I'll give 'em hell

there is plenty you can regret having done rather than regretting not having done.

Fuck - I think I'm growing up

[Rigga]

Just seen I had this back in 2005.

I've had 2 kids since, and if they ever think this is a top quote I'll give 'em hell

there is plenty you can regret having done rather than regretting not having done.

Fuck - I think I'm growing up

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[The Bill Hicks Appreciation Society]

Just seen I had this back in 2005.

I've had 2 kids since, and if they ever think this is a top quote I'll give 'em hell

there is plenty you can regret having done rather than regretting not having done.

Fuck - I think I'm growing up

The point of the quote is don't be on your death bed thinking, if only I'd done this... etc etc

[RedMarko]

The point of the quote is don't be on your death bed thinking, if only I'd done this... etc etc

I know that and you know that. But nowadays, I think more of how it can be turned on me by my young fellas when they hit their teens and I catch 'em sneeking off with some tinnys

'But Da - you said yerself......'


just have to cover myself

[Aristotle]

"Do not throw the arrow which will return against you."

"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

"A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

"You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word."

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."

Playing Civ IV have ya lad?