Topic: Spiders....

[Ziltoid]

Spun him right round

[rob1966]

Spun him right round

Like a record

Dead or alive?

Very much alive.

[Crosby Nick]

Very much alive.

In which case I regret to inform you your son is a stone cold psychopath and will probably kill you in your sleep at some point.

How did he catch it? Did it not try and run off!

[rob1966]

In which case I regret to inform you your son is a stone cold psychopath and will probably kill you in your sleep at some point.

How did he catch it? Did it not try and run off!

I've had that feeling for years now


I caught it in the garage in a takeaway container, called him to show him it due to it being a big bugger and he went with me when I put it the other side of the road to release it. It started running across the road, straight back towards ours, so he picked it up by its leg. I then got him to stick it in next doors hedge.

[Crosby Nick]

I've had that feeling for years now


I caught it in the garage in a takeaway container, called him to show him it due to it being a big bugger and he went with me when I put it the other side of the road to release it. It started running across the road, straight back towards ours, so he picked it up by its leg. I then got him to stick it in next doors hedge.

Should have gone through the letterbox.

[rob1966]

Should have gone through the letterbox.

[Slippers]

My facebook popped up a reminder from 6 years ago, its a pic of my lad, he's 4 in the pic holding this large spider up by one of its legs. He won't go near them now 

This is the 7 legged creature in question - 1 leg fell off

Just found one of these ln the downstairs loo,I'm feeling merciful today so I dropped the ugly fucker out the window.

[Crosby Nick]

High drama.

My daughter was in the bath, I picked up her towel and saw something moving. There’s quite a big spider in there. She hated them more than me but thankfully didn’t see it, I managed to take the towel into the landing and dispose of the fucker (not the towel) before giving it back to her.

She’d have been having nightmares forever if she’d seen it when she was as trying to dry herself!

[Red Beret]

High drama.

My daughter was in the bath, I picked up her towel and saw something moving. There’s quite a big spider in there. She hated them more than me but thankfully didn’t see it, I managed to take the towel into the landing and dispose of the fucker (not the towel) before giving it back to her.

She’d have been having nightmares forever if she’d seen it when she was as trying to dry herself!

Had a similar experience several years ago when I clocked a big fucker creeping into my towel as it was on the bathroom floor.  I was so fucking quick, grabbing that towel and shaking it, but the bugger had vanished and was nowhere to be seen.

Caught up with him a few days later.  Cheeky fecker was sitting in the kitchen having a nap when I turned the light on.  Caught him in a glass and carried the tw@t a quarter mile through the park before I dumped him on a road on the far side.  Big enough to cast a shadow in the street lights he was.

[Elmo!]

She hated them more than me

Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure she loves you really.

[Red Beret]

Just saw a wasp fighting for it's life in a web. It was lucky the web was pretty fragile. I think it managed to trap the spider in its jaws. It managed to break free and fly off anyway. Was carrying something too.

[swoopy]

Walking across the landing the other night and saw a shadow starting to move. Cat appears out of nowhere and starts playing with the 'shadow'.
Turned the light on and saw a medium sized fucker in it's claws. Cat lets spider run off a few times only to immediately catch it again. Then the cat did the best thing and ate it !

I knew I got a cat for a reason.

[I've been a good boy]

Walking across the landing the other night and saw a shadow starting to move. Cat appears out of nowhere and starts playing with the 'shadow'.
Turned the light on and saw a medium sized fucker in it's claws. Cat lets spider run off a few times only to immediately catch it again. Then the cat did the best thing and ate it !

I knew I got a cat for a reason.

What the fuck? Cats eat spiders?? They're cute but absolute demons. I thought they only killed them like they do mice and small birds

[rob1966]

What the fuck? Cats eat spiders?? They're cute but absolute demons. I thought they only killed them like they do mice and small birds

Yeah, I had an ex who had cats and they used to eat spiders, the dog would too.

[Red Beret]

What the fuck? Cats eat spiders?? They're cute but absolute demons. I thought they only killed them like they do mice and small birds

You didn't know?  We had a cat once.  It must have ate about half a dozen spiders in the time we had it, and that was only about 8 months before it got hit by a car.

[Slippers]

Yeah, I had an ex who had cats and they used to eat spiders, the dog would too.

Next door's cat eats spiders,our old dog would just follow them around but the one we have now loves eating them.

[ToneLa]

Was up and about at 3 in the morning as one does and there's a huge black spider crawling up the wall in the hall

I get some kitchen paper and open the door and make to get him and evict him, but the soft prick tries to run at the last second and gets slightly squished. Look pal, I evict, I didn't wanna hurt ya!

He fell down and looked stunned for a minute then fucked off under the skirting board. Clearly injured though

Feel bad, man

Long as he doesn't get revenge with all his mates trying to crawl into my mouth when I'm asleep

[I've been a good boy]

Was up and about at 3 in the morning as one does and there's a huge black spider crawling up the wall in the hall

I get some kitchen paper and open the door and make to get him and evict him, but the soft prick tries to run at the last second and gets slightly squished. Look pal, I evict, I didn't wanna hurt ya!

He fell down and looked stunned for a minute then fucked off under the skirting board. Clearly injured though

Feel bad, man

Long as he doesn't get revenge with all his mates trying to crawl into my mouth when I'm asleep

Was good knowing you, mate. RAWK will remember you.

[Jono69]

Yeah, I had an ex who had cats and they used to eat spiders, the dog would too.

Yeh our cat loves them and flies as well

[Red Beret]

Was up and about at 3 in the morning as one does and there's a huge black spider crawling up the wall in the hall

I get some kitchen paper and open the door and make to get him and evict him, but the soft prick tries to run at the last second and gets slightly squished. Look pal, I evict, I didn't wanna hurt ya!

He fell down and looked stunned for a minute then fucked off under the skirting board. Clearly injured though

Feel bad, man

Long as he doesn't get revenge with all his mates trying to crawl into my mouth when I'm asleep

He'll teabag you mate, sorry.

[ToneLa]

fucked tonite



good job there isn't a thread about what i did to them slugs

[rob1966]

He'll teabag you mate, sorry.

Imagine getting a nosh off her and that thing crawls down your knob.

[kopite321]

Imagine getting a nosh off her, and that thing crawls down your knob.

Well, whilst you're getting a BJ, you can rest assured she has no spiders legs peeking outside of her knickers, mate.

[Red Beret]

Imagine getting a nosh off her and that thing crawls down your knob.

As long as it doesn't nosh you as well.

[Red Beret]

Had to hoover up a spindly bugger after a few weeks. Didn't like the way it was looking at me when I was taking a shower  but of course now I'm being plagued by fruit flies and the fuckers seem completely immune to spray. 

[Crosby Nick]

There’s quite a big bodied one that’s living behind the toilet at the moment. Sometimes it’s poking out the top but when you come closer it farts behind the tank and it’s impossible to get. Really relaxing sitting down to use the facilities knowing that’s lurking somewhere close behind. Speeds things up anyway.

[Red Beret]

There’s quite a big bodied one that’s living behind the toilet at the moment. Sometimes it’s poking out the top but when you come closer it farts behind the tank and it’s impossible to get. Really relaxing sitting down to use the facilities knowing that’s lurking somewhere close behind. Speeds things up anyway.

I'd shit myself.

[Crosby Nick]

Four reasonably sized motherfuckers ‘removed’ from the property in the last four days.

It’s the most, wonderful time, of the year...

[Ziltoid]

Four reasonably sized motherfuckers ‘removed’ from the property in the last four days.

It’s the most, wonderful time, of the year...

Noticed a dead one on the carpet yesterday, think one of the cats must have had it. 

[Crosby Nick]

Noticed a dead one on the carpet yesterday, think one of the cats must have had it. 

Dead? Or just outgrown its exoskeleton?

[Ziltoid]

Dead? Or just outgrown its exoskeleton?

Dead....yep, definitely dead 

[El Lobo]

Squashed a big juicy fucker last night and its remnants pretty much covered my whole shoe 

[rob1966]

When I'm working Saturdays I'm up about half 4 and I keep expecting to see some big fucker on the living room wall, so far so good. If I do see one, I have to deal with as my missus will be ringing me in terror otherwise and the kids are now scared of spiders due to watching videos of Brazilian Wandering Spiders and Goliath bird eaters and seeing their fangs up close, so they are fucking useless now.

[rob1966]

In the garage just now and my workwear is hanging up. Sees an exoskeleton on the inside of my t-shirt, thinks a spider has died in it, moves the tshirt and the big bastard comes walking over the shoulder and down the front.

Bike glove on, grabs the fucker and lobs it into next doors garden

[Son of Spion]

Sitting in the garden after dark these last few nights I've spotted some absolute whoppers. Those big black things that come into the house this time of the year. 

[I've been a good boy]

Sitting in the garden after dark these last few nights I've spotted some absolute whoppers. Those big black things that come into the house this time of the year. 

Disgusting fuckers, they move way too quickly as well. This is a handy tool for keeping them out:

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/cheap-20p-household-item-could-21500396?fbclid=IwAR3GALWBGgHEztK9weU7DChgxkMUaPucmt_G--54CbTjPEqrpUX9Q0xqSsw

[Crosby Nick]

Sitting in the garden after dark these last few nights I've spotted some absolute whoppers. Those big black things that come into the house this time of the year. 

One of the biggest I’ve ever seen is currently residing in my bath. Does it come up through the plug hole? I’m leaving it for my wife to deal with. I’ve been better of late but I’m not going near this fucker.

[rob1966]

One of the biggest I’ve ever seen is currently residing in my bath. Does it come up through the plug hole? I’m leaving it for my wife to deal with. I’ve been better of late but I’m not going near this fucker.

Yeah they climb up the inside of the spout, you should know this from Incey Wincey Spider

[Crosby Nick]

Yeah they climb up the inside of the spout, you should know this from Incey Wincey Spider

I’m just struggling to comprehend how this bastard squeezed through the grill to get up. Anyone, he’s gone now, no thanks to me.

[rob1966]

I’m just struggling to comprehend how this bastard squeezed through the grill to get up. Anyone, he’s gone now, no thanks to me.

Determination