Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[AndyInVA]

ill be blunt
you do sound like a child
you come on here asking for help and then list out BS reasons why you cant do it
your really no different from anyone else in here
we all 'couldnt do it' for loads of our own reasons and then finally something snapped and we started making changes

its obvious you have some level of depression

you have two things to counter and without help in one, you will perhaps fail in the other

this is my plan, ill add up the points at the end

go to a docs and try to get some anti depression meds
go to the AA meeting. it may be total shit but at least you will have tried. if you dont just fucking hate it, then commit to go to at least 5 meetings
either cut down or stop. i suggest either buying a set amount each day and then not going out again when you get home

but frankly when you finally get ready to quit completely you just quit for one day. you pour all your booze down the sink and you dont drink for the rest of that day

then the next day you do the same thing

you should get some kind of something to fill your mind. boredom is murder for alkies. box sets from the library, an XBOX, what the fuck ever

but you need to grow up a bit and stop making excuses

[Red Genius]

Andy, *refrains from tearing you a new arse*

I already told you i know i'm a fucking bellend, i didnt come on here to be judged, i do that every day, i told you i lack control, you state the obvious... i asked for help. You criticise.

You my friend, aint one - and can fuck off, if you were next to me right now, i'd put you through the wall.

But thanks anyways.

[AndyInVA]

Andy, *refrains from tearing you a new arse*

I already told you i know i'm a fucking bellend, i didnt come on here to be judged, i do that every day, i told you i lack control, you state the obvious... i asked for help. You criticise.

You my friend, aint one - and can fuck off, if you were next to me right now, i'd put you through the wall.

But thanks anyways.

fair enough
take it or leave it

you left it

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Im sorry Alex, but he is right mate. We all make excuses and we are pathetic.  You need to take control. You know im always on the end of the phone if u need me.

[Red Genius]

Im sorry Alex, but he is right mate. We all make excuses and we are pathetic.  You need to take control. You know im always on the end of the phone if u need me.

And that Carl is the difference, i know i'm pathetic, i know i'm a fucking waste of space right now, what i didn't know is that someone actually wants to help.

Appreciate the offer, i'll call you shortly mate. You busy?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Alex, none of us here come to be judged.We are all struggling mate and i can be pretty sure im in the same place as you mate. Dont lose it in here, you know as well as i do that we all mean well. Yes it hurts to hear some of the things said in here but dont ask if you cant handle the reality. Thats the brutal honesty mate, and you know this.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

And that Carl is the difference, i know i'm pathetic, i know i'm a fucking waste of space right now, what i didn't know is that someone actually wants to help.

Appreciate the offer, i'll call you shortly mate. You busy?

Why are you pathetic? You have a problem and we are ALL here to help and sometimes that advice is hard. Fuck me mate, start from the front of this thread to see some brutal honesty.  Its meant with love even if it doesnt seem like it mate.

[Red Genius]

Why are you pathetic? You have a problem and we are ALL here to help and sometimes that advice is hard. Fuck me mate, start from the front of this thread to see some brutal honesty.  Its meant with love even if it doesnt seem like it mate.

Carl - i kicked off, because i came to the one place i thought i could be honest, throw it out there, and not be torn to rags like a pack of wolves.

I don't need to be told i've lost control, i just bloody well told you lot... i asked for help. Help doesn't come in the mask of back ended compliments and fucking daggers.

It's simple as - "OK fella, i know it's shit and you're right you are being a bellend... however, this is what you might be able to do to help"

[AndyInVA]

RWM - I cant be arsed to go back thru my post and try to explain what I meant

im sorry you feel that way

its pretty hard to look for help and harder to take it

I didnt mean to upset, annoy you or cause you to want to put me through a wall

Carls, been there seen and done it as have a lot of us in this thread

Good luck, wherever you look for it

[Corkboy]

Andy, *refrains from tearing you a new arse*

I already told you i know i'm a fucking bellend, i didnt come on here to be judged, i do that every day, i told you i lack control, you state the obvious... i asked for help. You criticise.

You my friend, aint one - and can fuck off, if you were next to me right now, i'd put you through the wall.

But thanks anyways.

You came in here looking for advice, and you got it. You might not like it but that's no reason to go off on Andy, who is obviously trying to help you. Instead you're making threats of violence. Look in the fucking mirror.

[Red Genius]

RWM - I cant be arsed to go back thru my post and try to explain what I meant

im sorry you feel that way

its pretty hard to look for help and harder to take it

I didnt mean to upset, annoy you or cause you to want to put me through a wall

Carls, been there seen and done it as have a lot of us in this thread

Good luck, wherever you look for it

Look Andy mate, i'm sorry for tearing your head off, i've no doubt your intentions were good. But i'm walking a tightrope right about now, i explained i knew i was not in control, i asked for help. And you saw fit to tear me a new arse.

I'll happily admit my faults *as can be seen above* I need help, not a lecture. What you think i give myself on a daily basis?

[Red Genius]

Ok guys, i'm done here - i thought this might be somewhere i could find some help, even in my volatile nature. I've not shirked from saying where my short comings are.

I'll see you all later.

[Corkboy]

Ok guys, i'm done here - i thought this might be somewhere i could find some help

this is my plan, ill add up the points at the end

go to a docs and try to get some anti depression meds
go to the AA meeting. it may be total shit but at least you will have tried. if you dont just fucking hate it, then commit to go to at least 5 meetings
either cut down or stop. i suggest either buying a set amount each day and then not going out again when you get home

but frankly when you finally get ready to quit completely you just quit for one day. you pour all your booze down the sink and you dont drink for the rest of that day

then the next day you do the same thing

you should get some kind of something to fill your mind. boredom is murder for alkies. box sets from the library, an XBOX, what the fuck ever

but you need to grow up a bit and stop making excuses

Did that help not suit you? Did you want "nicer" help?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

No one tore you an arse Alex mate. You know im always here for you, but so are the rest of the guys here. Are you saying you didnt hear what you wanted to hear mate, or the fact you heard what you know deep down is what you struggle to face.  NO ONE here would slag you off or put you down at all. This is the life we have made Alex , we have to deal with this shit everyday. I know its not easy mate, but dont think we dont care.

[AndyInVA]

Look Andy mate, i'm sorry for tearing your head off, i've no doubt your intentions were good. But i'm walking a tightrope right about now, i explained i knew i was not in control, i asked for help. And you saw fit to tear me a new arse.

I'll happily admit my faults *as can be seen above* I need help, not a lecture. What you think i give myself on a daily basis?

sorry mate, it didnt seem like a lecture

didnt mean to offend

its just words on a screen, its hard to get nuance

like i said, good luck

Carl is awesome in my book and has achieved a hell of a change in his addiction

if your talking to Carl, you'll be alright

[Red Genius]

sorry mate, it didnt seem like a lecture

didnt mean to offend

its just words on a screen, its hard to get nuance

like i said, good luck

Carl is awesome in my book and has achieved a hell of a change in his addiction

if your talking to Carl, you'll be alright

It's ok mate - i've spoken to Carl on the blower.... i never meant to kick off, hell we're all mates in here right?

I'm sorry for tearing your head off mate, i really am. I welcome any advice, word to the wise in the future however, i know myself better than anybody,hey don't we all!! i don't need to know where i'm going wrong - i know that implicitly or i wouldn't be in here. I come here looking for answers, experience not observations / criticisms... etc....

We good mate?

[AndyInVA]

It's ok mate - i've spoken to Carl on the blower.... i never meant to kick off, hell we're all mates in here right?

I'm sorry for tearing your head off mate, i really am. I welcome any advice, word to the wise in the future however, i know myself better than anybody,hey don't we all!! i don't need to know where i'm going wrong - i know that implicitly or i wouldn't be in here. I come here looking for answers, experience not observations / criticisms... etc....

We good mate?

course we are

everyone in here understands

we've all done it

its fine

and I can see your point of view. I think sometimes when people come in here, absolutely blunt (and hurtful) honesty is about all that can work. But you were right, I should have just clipped out the negative parts of my post and focused on the positive

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Alex, i think you should start from the start. Find out what flicks your trigger. Sounds a bit lesbian that


Calm down and think mate, take stock when you wake up and see how you feel.

[AndyInVA]

, word to the wise in the future however, i know myself better than anybody,hey don't we all!! i don't need to know where i'm going wrong - i know that implicitly or i wouldn't be in here. I come here looking for answers, experience not observations / criticisms... etc....

to be fair

Ive been posting in this thread for at least two years. I have posted similar emails to other people and had other people post similarly blunt and brutal posts to me

no one has ever gone off on me like that or I have ever seen anyone else go off on anyone else like that (like threatening they would put a fellow poster through a wall)
those are just my own words to the wise

lets move on

[Sir Harvest Fields]

lets move on

Yep, lets work on sorting it out

[Red Genius]

to be fair

Ive been posting in this thread for at least two years. I have posted similar emails to other people and had other people post similarly blunt and brutal posts to me

no one has ever gone off on me like that or I have ever seen anyone else go off on anyone else like that (like threatening they would put a fellow poster through a wall)
those are just my own words to the wise

lets move on

I know mate, and i genuinely apologise for that, i naturally didn't mean it.

I'm a bit of a headcase at times though, and like a light switch i can just explode, and that's what happened. I hold it down far better these days than i used to, infact i can't remember the last time i lost my temper like that, i was honestly wanting to put someone's head through the wall!!! - i'm just angry at myself really, and i vented at you, for that i apologise.

Oh and i appreciate your contribution mate to this thread, as you know - i too have been here since the beginning too.

[AndyInVA]

I know mate, and i genuinely apologise for that, i naturally didn't mean it.

I'm a bit of a headcase at times though, and like a light switch i can just explode, and that's what happened. I hold it down far better these days than i used to, infact i can't remember the last time i lost my temper like that, i was honestly wanting to put someone's head through the wall!!! - i'm just angry at myself really, and i vented at you, for that i apologise.

Oh and i appreciate your contribution mate to this thread, as you know - i too have been here since the beginning too.

no worries

i totally understand every word of this post you just made

every word

[Red Genius]

no worries

i totally understand every word of this post you just made

every word

We wanna be careful - we might be hugging soon

Hows you anyways, be good to talk about something else than my jumbled mess of a head.

[Red Genius]

Alex, i think you should start from the start. Find out what flicks your trigger. Sounds a bit lesbian that


Calm down and think mate, take stock when you wake up and see how you feel.

Oh Carl i thought the 3 birds in the background when i called were doing enough bean flicking

Yeah ok mate, you prolly right... i got a few more glasses of whiskey left (i can't stop until it's gone so no point pretending otherwise) however tomorrow, we'll catch up again and see where we go from there, in the sober, cold light of the morning.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I understand. I dont agree but i understand. Get it finished and come back here first thing. Ive 2 funerals to go to tomorrow so i may not be on for a while.

[Red Genius]

I understand. I dont agree but i understand. Get it finished and come back here first thing. Ive 2 funerals to go to tomorrow so i may not be on for a while.

No worries mate, i've arranged to skype my parents tomorrow late afternoon / early evening. If you can cope with me inbetween what is no doubt far more important to you (funerals) be great to catch up.

Look after yourself mate, if i wasn't so female inclined i'd be giving you some man love right about now (put the cavalier away lad!) haha

[Red Genius]

Was stressing about seeing my uncle / cousin shit faced, both have been amazing, cooked me some grub, re-filled my zippo lighter (sounds daft but not had a fag all afternoon! - prolly why i lost my temper before)

Had a chat, not feeling quite so isolated, had a chat and a laugh... i'm such a soft twat, shoulda done this hours ago rather than hiding myself away.

[ewok-red]

Don't know if this has already been mentioned by others but there is a course run by Intuitive Recovery. 4x 2 hr Sessions really interesting stuff.  A challenging alternative to the AA approach.  Pm me if you want to know more.
http://www.intuitiverecovery.com/frequently-asked-questions

[AndyInVA]

Don't know if this has already been mentioned by others but there is a course run by Intuitive Recovery. 4x 2 hr Sessions really interesting stuff.  A challenging alternative to the AA approach.  Pm me if you want to know more.
http://www.intuitiverecovery.com/frequently-asked-questions

is this a 'pay to attend' course

costs were not mentioned in the FAQs

but it looks like a sales web site so I assume costs are involved

[ewok-red]

is this a 'pay to attend' course

costs were not mentioned in the FAQs

but it looks like a sales web site so I assume costs are involved

You can attend free. Get a referral through your GP I think - or LCAS or Addaction maybe

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Even if you have to pay, that would show a good level of commitment but thats just what i think. Im not saying we are all minge bags or owt, just if you have to fork out for help its another reason to make that extra effort.

[Red Genius]

Feeling pretty rough right about now, withdrawels kicking in and i'm a little spaced out at the moment, tightness around the abdominal region, shakes, tingling sensation in the hands, breathing feels a bit shallow at times. Proper wank and its only around 6-7 hours since i had my last drink, from recollection of previous experience at around 12 hours it hits harder, not looking forward to that to be honest.

[ewok-red]

Feeling pretty rough right about now, withdrawels kicking in and i'm a little spaced out at the moment, tightness around the abdominal region, shakes, tingling sensation in the hands, breathing feels a bit shallow at times. Proper wank and its only around 6-7 hours since i had my last drink, from recollection of previous experience at around 12 hours it hits harder, not looking forward to that to be honest.

The most effective and safest way is a gradual detox over a few days, cut your units down bit by bit, otherwise your body can go in to shock. depends how much you have been drinking up to this point

[Red Genius]

The most effective and safest way is a gradual detox over a few days, cut your units down bit by bit, otherwise your body can go in to shock. depends how much you have been drinking up to this point

I'm more of a binge drinker mate, but i'd been binging for 3 days, had 3 days off before that and was on it the 5 days before that. So i've drank a lot for a short period of time, so i should be OK.

I'm feeling better now than earlier, DT's still there and i'm a little bit spaced out still, see flashes out corner of eye that sort of thing, stomach not as tense as before, and tingling reduced in hands and feet. I will probably have shit sleep tonight and have another wave of uncomfortableness as that has happened before. But i would hope that by this time tomorrow i'll just have the shakes and the more severe symptons will have gone.

I don't *need* a drink, i just hammer it back to forgot.... but i need to get out of this fucking cycle. It's gone on for far too frigging long.

Read this from the NHS website, and it's exactly what i need to do, particularly finding some closure using the highlighted bit

Recognising you need a power greater than yourself to restore your strength.
Examining past errors in your life with the help of a sponsor (an experienced member of the group).
Making amends for those errors.
Learning to live a new life with a new code of behaviour.

[ewok-red]

I'm more of a binge drinker mate, but i'd been binging for 3 days, had 3 days off before that and was on it the 5 days before that. So i've drank a lot for a short period of time, so i should be OK.

I'm feeling better now than earlier, DT's still there and i'm a little bit spaced out still, see flashes out corner of eye that sort of thing, stomach not as tense as before, and tingling reduced in hands and feet. I will probably have shit sleep tonight and have another wave of uncomfortableness as that has happened before. But i would hope that by this time tomorrow i'll just have the shakes and the more severe symptons will have gone.

I don't *need* a drink, i just hammer it back to forgot.... but i need to get out of this fucking cycle. It's gone on for far too frigging long.

Read this from the NHS website, and it's exactly what i need to do, particularly finding some closure using the highlighted bit

Recognising you need a power greater than yourself to restore your strength.
Examining past errors in your life with the help of a sponsor (an experienced member of the group).
Making amends for those errors.
Learning to live a new life with a new code of behaviour.

The 'greater power' bit and the sponsor bit they are very AA statements - which is fine if they work for you and AA does work for many people.  I have a 'friend' who is going through the same thing with the binge drinking,  before people can  make amends 'they' need to sort themselves out and make amends by proving people can trust you again.
PM me if you want to chat more

[Red Genius]

Aye hence the detox at the moment, so i can keep off the juice and then start to make my amends.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Im in bits . Two funerals and the major one was my foster dad. I spent years hating everyone but just as with my dad i realised, too late, that they were not the c*nt. I was. Once again i missed a chance to tell someone i loved them for whatever reason, now ill never be able to do that. Hindsight is a twat. Sorry guys im a little bit fucked off

[Chakan]

Sorry for your loss mate. My condolences.

[Red Genius]

Aye Carl - totally understandable you would be...funerals are never a great experience. Thinking of you fella.

[AndyInVA]

Im in bits . Two funerals and the major one was my foster dad. I spent years hating everyone but just as with my dad i realised, too late, that they were not the c*nt. I was. Once again i missed a chance to tell someone i loved them for whatever reason, now ill never be able to do that. Hindsight is a twat. Sorry guys im a little bit fucked off

sorry mate

its tough when you dont get that last chance to say the things you wanted

just get through the day