Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Is the best answer. If you are on a mission id rather you stayed safe and worked on it again another day mate.

[AndyInVA]

Is the best answer. If you are on a mission id rather you stayed safe and worked on it again another day mate.

yep

today has already sailed away

[Red Genius]

we've all been there

nothing anyone tells you right now will go anywhere

just stay safe and dont make any stupid phone calls

I have no intention too - just stare at pictures of a happier time.

[Maggie May]

Its excessive mate - no two ways about it, i've topped up with 8 cans of carling.

I'm on a mission right now, and nowt is gonna help me :/

OK fella.   Comes to it I'm not actually in a position to help you one way or the other.  However.  I might possibly be interested as to how your "mission" progresses.     Do please keep us updated. 

[AndyInVA]

I have no intention too - just stare at pictures of a happier time.

fucks sake mate

that sounds depressing

watch a movie or something

it makes the time go quicker

which frankly is the exercise, drink, forget, and fast forward to tomorrow which is a new day

[Maggie May]

Pretty much - for whatever reason i want to let it out, so i am going to.... tomorrow i have to put it all back together again

So if it's not too much trouble would it not be too much to ask to actually do that now and stop pissing everybody about. 

[Red Genius]

So if it's not too much trouble would it not be too much to ask to actually do that now and stop pissing everybody about. 

Aye i'm just being a prick, no worries Maggie i'll wake up tomorrow and all will be fine. Sorry to have pissed you about like.

[Maggie May]

Aye i'm just being a prick, no worries Maggie i'll wake up tomorrow and all will be fine. Sorry to have pissed you about like.

Well clearly you have been.  And it won't be fine.  So no surprises there.  No you have not pissed me off you stupid bastard.  But you will unless you stop talking in riddles and either confide in here or PM or whatever it takes but don't be alone.  There are no secrets here. 

[Red Genius]

Well clearly you have been.  And it won't be fine.  So no surprises there.  No you have not pissed me off you stupid bastard.  But you will unless you stop talking in riddles and either confide in here or PM or whatever it takes but don't be alone.  There are no secrets here. 

I expected to be slaughtered! 

It's been almost 12 months, my mistakes drove my ex to self harm, that's something i can't let go - i'm not a total prick, despite my mistakes.

But it is also something i can never put right, i loved her - my god did i love her... we were together the best part of 10 years, it wasn't for fun, we were best mates.

How do you find closure to being a total prick?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Maybe try and rectify your own problems would be a good first step mate. I know its not that simple but we've all been pricks, i still have my moments where i want closure for things that have happened in my life but ive realised i cant get that, i just need to try and better myself and learn from the past.

[AndyInVA]

How do you find closure to being a total prick?

you dont

whats done is done

what cant turn the clock back. I think all of us in here wish we could

but the key is to get on with life and not be such a negative destructive prick in the future and dont hurt anyone else

including yourself

[Johnnyboy1973]

my mistakes drove my ex to self harm

Really?

I suspect she had a pretty large input on that decision herself.

[Red Genius]

Really?

I suspect she had a pretty large input on that decision herself.

My dad said the same thing, but i was supposed to look after her ffs - not be responsible for letting her cut herself BECAUSE of me!

[Sir Harvest Fields]

As you know my son self harms, nowt i can do but he could blame me quite easily. I feel its a far deeper rooted problem than you drinking mate.

[Red Genius]

As you know my son self harms, nowt i can do but he could blame me quite easily. I feel its a far deeper rooted problem than you drinking mate.

Yeah but Carl mate, she self harmed to cope with me... it was intrinsically linked. I was the the cause, without doubt.

What separates her having done it, and me taking a blade to her arm?

Not much in reality, i was still the cause and reason.

[Tepid water]

Yeah but Carl mate, she self harmed to cope with me... it was intrinsically linked. I was the the cause, without doubt.

What separates her having done it, and me taking a blade to her arm?

Not much in reality, i was still the cause and reason.

Hmmm

Self harming is way more complex than that.

I've know lots of kids who self harm, it's never been a single trigger.  Never "he did x, so I self harmed".

Kids can tell people it is, they may even believe it, but it never is.

It's a much much more complex mixture of emotions than that.

I might suggest that you and she may have similar personalities and you drink to cope with life's pressures but she self harms.   That's just a guess though.

Blame won't help the situation one iota though.

[Red Genius]

Hmmm

Self harming is way more complex than that.

I've know lots of kids who self harm, it's never been a single trigger.  Never "he did x, so I self harmed".

Kids can tell people it is, they may even believe it, but it never is.

It's a much much more complex mixture of emotions than that.

I might suggest that you and she may have similar personalities and you drink to cope with life's pressures but she self harms.   That's just a guess though.

Blame won't help the situation one iota though.

She was a happy chappy until we broke up lad.

But you right blame doesn't help - but i can't ignore the fact i was the reason.

[Tepid water]

She was a happy chappy until we broke up lad.

But you right blame doesn't help - but i can't ignore the fact i was the reason.

If you had stayed with her mum and argued then it could very well have triggered the same behaviour...

If you had bottled up whatever caused your break up then the atmosphere in your home might well have caused the same behaviour.

Stressful things happen to kids, some react by self harming.
You are assuming that if x didn't happen then y wouldn't happen, it probably would have done, maybe later, but don't blame yourself, really life's tough enough.

[Maggie May]

I expected to be slaughtered! 

It's been almost 12 months, my mistakes drove my ex to self harm, that's something i can't let go - i'm not a total prick, despite my mistakes.

But it is also something i can never put right, i loved her - my god did i love her... we were together the best part of 10 years, it wasn't for fun, we were best mates.

How do you find closure to being a total prick?

Well.  Everybody fucks up - and more than several times.  It doesn't necessarily mean that what fellas do from time to time drives the women to cut chunks out of themselves, otherwise they'd all be queuing ten deep around the block.  You hooked up with what eventually proved to be a nutter who couldn't stand the end and to grip you and guilt you she produced the blade.  Walk away lad.  You are no pick.   

[Maggie May]

Fucking hell.  I can't take a moment off to kick the shit out of somebody and you're all at it.

[Red Genius]

lol Maggie - You genuinely made me laugh, thank you darling

[Maggie May]

She was a happy chappy until we broke up lad.

But you right blame doesn't help - but i can't ignore the fact i was the reason.

Ah.  She was a Clingon.  Thought so. 

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Its what we do best Nanna

[Red Genius]

Ah.  She was a Clingon.  Thought so. 

haha! Maggie - if it were not for you i'd be a right miserable twat right now

[Johnnyboy1973]

My dad said the same thing, but i was supposed to look after her ffs - not be responsible for letting her cut herself BECAUSE of me!

Well, I reckon it's a bit deeper than that, but if you believe that then fair enough.

But, either way, you have to let it go, to forgive yourself at some point.

The amount of pissheads I know that hold on to past fuck ups to give reason to their continued decline into alcohol is amazing. You need to draw a line in the sand at some point but as we say, you'll always find a reason to piss it up against the wall, if you want to.

[Red Genius]

Well, I reckon it's a bit deeper than that, but if you believe that then fair enough.

But, either way, you have to let it go, to forgive yourself at some point.

The amount of pissheads I know that hold on to past fuck ups to give reason to their continued decline into alcohol is amazing. You need to draw a line in the sand at some point but as we say, you'll always find a reason to piss it up against the wall, if you want to.

Not wrong lad - i've been looking for the reason, i found it - so i'm getting twatted.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Its an excuse, not a reason

[Red Genius]

You right Carl - it's a shit piss poor excuse.

[Red Genius]

I can't upload a pic - it's too big...fml  how can i resize smaller?

[Sir Harvest Fields]

what is it a pic of, just in passing.

[Maggie May]

Yeah but Carl mate, she self harmed to cope with me... it was intrinsically linked. I was the the cause, without doubt.

What separates her having done it, and me taking a blade to her arm?

Not much in reality, i was still the cause and reason.

Oh for fucks sakes.  I swear it is a long time that I have heard so much rubbish and so much venom and so much willing and indeed desparate guilt.   Did it not occur to to you that you were a prisoner of her will? That she put her rubbish she couldn't cope with upon you.  And she did a great job, considering you she trained you so well to accept hers.   

And the blade is aways a  good trick.  People always go bolow at the sightest sight of blood.  So unless she has taken a sharpend stythe to her neck (which would appear  not to be the case) she can saw away until the cows come home all the day is long or until everybody mets bored.

You've been had mate. 
 

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Once the stone
You're crawling under
Is lifted off your shoulders
Once the cloud that's raining
Over you head disappears
The noise that you'll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years



Its from a song i love and one i feel pertains to myself as much as you mate. Get out from under that stone and take some positive steps. Fuck me mate, if i can do it even wayne rooney can

[Red Genius]

Once the stone
You're crawling under
Is lifted off your shoulders
Once the cloud that's raining
Over you head disappears
The noise that you'll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years



Its from a song i love and one i feel pertains to myself as much as you mate. Get out from under that stone and take some positive steps. Fuck me mate, if i can do it even wayne rooney can

Lovin' it mate - and you right, if anyone can do it - i bloody well can!


Here's a few lyrics for you;


"cos it's too late when we die, to admit we don't see eye to eye, i wasn't there that morning when my father passed away,didn't get to tell him, all the things i had to say. I think i caught his spirit later that same year...."


One for you lad...."saaaay it loooud say it clear"

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Mike and the mechanics. It reminds me of my Dad who was also an alcoholic. Just get through tonight mate and come back tomorrow and lets all talk

[Red Genius]

lol yep!! if you like it listen to the Paul Carrack live version, far better than the mike and the mechanics.

We'll talk tomorrow mate, i actually really need some good help, so i'm gonna hold you to that.

[JLStretton]

well hope everyone is fairing better than me, never been one for self pity and been one to say get a fucking grip of yourself and sort yourself out and these are the words I need to take on board now.  Been drinking everyday since I last posted in here, not getting smashed but having 6-8 cans of skol super a night and not good.

[Red Genius]

I can't imagine i'm a great help lad - but any reason why?

[JLStretton]

same shite as every other fucker who drinks to much just feeling sorry for myself and being a twat, I Know ale aint going to change things but it helps dull the pain   but still wake up everyday knowing the same that kids and her have still gone

[Red Genius]

same shite as every other fucker who drinks to much just feeling sorry for myself and being a twat, I Know ale aint going to change things but it helps dull the pain   but still wake up everyday knowing the same that kids and her have still gone

Nah mate, people don't drink for the same reasons, but drink to bury the same thing *pain* - so you lost yer kids and yer missus, how comes fella?

[JLStretton]

no idea to be honest mate, they were just released from hospital after being in there for 3 months.   being born early.   she had moved up my end when preggers but her family never really had much to do with her when she did move up and never helped with the move.  And they never texted her or phoned her for three weeks before she was rushed into hospital at less than 25 weeks pregnant.  [Now she has moved back to there area over a hours drive away] they cant seem to do enough for her, what I am pleased with as I still love her to bits, but leaves a sour taste in my mouth how they couldn't be arsed with her before.