I love these:
Bart:
Bart :What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding ...
Apu:
Apu : Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.
Apu: Tonight I’m going to party like it’s on sale for $19.99!
Barney:
Barney : Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
Chief Wiggum:
Chief Wiggum : (Speaking over emergency radio)
Marge: Chief Wiggum? my husbands gone crazy and is trying to murder my family; OVER
Chief Wiggum: oh, well thank good thats over, i starting to worry there....
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?
Ned Flanders:
Flanders : Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined boys at the slaughterhouse.
Mr Burns
Mr Burns Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder
Mr. Burns: I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.
Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.