Topic: 7he Manches7er Uni7ed 7hread - NO GREENWOOD/ANTONY*

[Crosby Nick]

Did anyone see Catweazle on the BBC’s London Marsthon coverage last week? He ran the marathon (fair play) and then when interviewed was banging in about that part of Manchester being the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution and how the stadium was originally built for the workers to go and watch a game afterwards and how great it would be for that area to have a rebuilt stadium there. Still plying the Wembley of the North line. Absolute chancer. Pay for it yourself, or at least use your marathon sponsorship money you tight bastard.

[rob1966]

The push for Southgate is picking up force

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2024/apr/26/gareth-southgate-to-manchester-united-is-actually-a-good-idea-so-whats-the-chance

Oh please do it

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Absolute state of Ronay. My word.

He's pretty laughable

[BobPaisley3]

Officially out of champions league contention.

[Hazell]

Officially out of champions league contention.

Thank goodness. We've had an awful few weeks so have been enjoying the schadenfreude with these and Chelsea.

[Crosby Nick]

What are their remaining fixtures? Will they manage to hold on to that positive goal difference by the end of the season?

[Hazell]

What are their remaining fixtures? Will they manage to hold on to that positive goal difference by the end of the season?

Palace, Arsenal,  Newcastle and Brighton. They could realistically not.

[BoRed]

Palace, Arsenal,  Newcastle and Brighton. They could realistically not.

That game v Newcastle will probably decide who goes into the Europa League and who into the Conference.

[FiSh77]

Did anyone see Catweazle on the BBC’s London Marsthon coverage last week? He ran the marathon (fair play) and then when interviewed was banging in about that part of Manchester being the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution and how the stadium was originally built for the workers to go and watch a game afterwards and how great it would be for that area to have a rebuilt stadium there. Still plying the Wembley of the North line. Absolute chancer. Pay for it yourself, or at least use your marathon sponsorship money you tight bastard.

There's a small part of me that would love to see them offered a big chunk of public money on the provision that they build the stadium on something like an out of town site with easy access to the motorways, the fume from Che Neville would be immense and the tax dodging Jim out campaign would be in full flow

"Machester United Football Club can't be allowed to leave Old Trafford because how else is my shite hotel going to be incorporated into the stadium reasons..."

[farawayred]

The fight for 6th is still on, it's in their hands.

[MonsLibpool]

The fight for 6th is still on, it's in their hands.

Conference League calling

[rushyman]

'We are the most dynamic and entertaining teams in the league, it was all us in the 2nd half'

After drawing 1-1 with 2nd from bottom Burnley, at home

2nd half posession 45 /55

Oh and 1st half 49/51

[rob1966]

'We are the most dynamic and entertaining teams in the league, it was all us in the 2nd half'

After drawing 1-1 with 2nd from bottom Burnley, at home

2nd half posession 45 /55

Oh and 1st half 49/51

Is that from Minge the Merciless?

[Armchair expert]

Burnley fan rightly charged for tragedy chanting yesterday, yet most of the stadium sang nasty shite at our recent cup game there and they only managed to arrest one Utd fan

[Alisson Wonderland]

'We are the most dynamic and entertaining teams in the league, it was all us in the 2nd half'

After drawing 1-1 with 2nd from bottom Burnley, at home

2nd half posession 45 /55

Oh and 1st half 49/51

To be fair to 7 Hag, they are definitely the most entertaining team in the league 

[Peabee]

There's a small part of me that would love to see them offered a big chunk of public money on the provision that they build the stadium on something like an out of town site with easy access to the motorways, the fume from Che Neville would be immense and the tax dodging Jim out campaign would be in full flow

"Machester United Football Club can't be allowed to leave Old Trafford because how else is my shite hotel going to be incorporated into the stadium reasons..."

Neville's Hotel receiving a compulsory purchase order and being flattened for a car park would be nice.

[Peabee]

'We are the most dynamic and entertaining teams in the league, it was all us in the 2nd half'

After drawing 1-1 with 2nd from bottom Burnley, at home

2nd half posession 45 /55

Oh and 1st half 49/51

He's incredibly deluded.

[Agent99]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

[Terry de Niro]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

Serious question.
Do they have anyone worth a carrot?

[DarkOfTheManatee]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

"It would take a major offer before United would even consider selling skipper Bruno Fernandes, goalkeeper Andre Onana and full-back Diogo Dalot."

Good to see them taking a hard line against the hordes of clubs desperate to sign Onana and Dalot after their sparkling performances this season.

[Hazell]

No ones buying them for the fees Man Utd would want, and paying them the wages they're on. Great that they're not in the Champions League next season, it's a real kick in the teeth in terms of the business they can do.

Never thought I'd be saying that about these, they've always been a money making machine who were regularly in the Champions League. Thankfully they've spunked billions since Ferguson retired and it's caught up to them.

[Irishred1]

I can not see any takers at the prices United will want or the wages the players have become accustomed too.

[I've been a good boy]

I'd take Bruno Fernandes and Antony off them in a heartbeat. They'd make excellent training cones.

[koptommy93]

That's mental hahaha

[rob1966]

Neville's Hotel receiving a compulsory purchase order and being flattened for a car park would be nice.

Be a fucking small car park, the footprint the hotel is on is tiny. I reckon that's why Utd never considered a development there as its so small.

[rob1966]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

Someone has realised what we've been saying, they need to fuck the lot of them off.

Imagine the chaos if they did bring in about 18 new players in the summer, they'd likely get relegated

[redgriffin73]

Imagine if no one put an offer in for any of them

[telekon]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

When we're not doing great it's always wonderful to have a look at that shower of clueless shite. 

Someone has now realized that they've been atrocious in players bought and sold for the last 10 years. Their record is astounding.

They won't get more than 25 million for any of these. 

[Father Ted]

“First things first, I’d like to say I’m delighted to be here at Old Trafford, it’s a boyhood dream and I’m incredibly excited to take the reins. Hopefully, this will be the start of a whole new era for this historic & storied football club. Second on the agenda: you’re all shite.”

[Banquo's Ghost]

I'd take Bruno Fernandes and Antony off them in a heartbeat. They'd make excellent training cones.

Unlike United’s vermin infested kitchens, our catering operates at a high standard so there’s a strong probability of Fernandes being found poisoned under a fridge.

[Crimson]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

Can see teams in the Saudi league offering inflated fees just for the association.

United will be a Saudi feeder club.

[MrGrumpy]

When we're not doing great it's always wonderful to have a look at that shower of clueless shite. 

Someone has now realized that they've been atrocious in players bought and sold for the last 10 years. Their record is astounding.

They won't get more than 25 million for any of these. 

Easter Island, Anthony, Sancho, Wan-Bissaka and the like are not utter ****. However, none of they play particularly well together or in the system Ten Haag uses. Rather than trying to sell the entire squad, a better idea would be for M** U to work out how they want to play and which players will fit in to their system. Can anyone else see them signing players because the gutter press tell them to this summer?

[The North Bank]

Would you take any of their players. I think only Mainoo and Garnacho are worth a punt, those would probably be the only 2 they wouldn’t sell.
The problem is that their players are on ridiculous wages that no one will take them on. If they’re really serious they need to take the hit and pay players to leave like arsenal did with pepe/ozil/auba . A long dangerous road that one.

[rob1966]

Would you take any of their players. I think only Mainoo and Garnacho are worth a punt, those would probably be the only 2 they wouldn’t sell.
The problem is that their players are on ridiculous wages that no one will take them on. If they’re really serious they need to take the hit and pay players to leave like arsenal did with pepe/ozil/auba . A long dangerous road that one.

Possibly Mainoo, not Garnacho though, far too inconsistent. The rest of them no, not one of them is better than what he have. Hojlund in the right set up might turn out good, but I've not seen anything from him to make me think "fuck, wish we'd got him". Our 3rd choice keeper is better than Onana, Fernandes would suit your lot though with his diving and crying, fit right in with Arteta

[thaddeus]

“First things first, I’d like to say I’m delighted to be here at Old Trafford, it’s a boyhood dream and I’m incredibly excited to take the reins. Hopefully, this will be the start of a whole new era for this historic & storied football club. Second on the agenda: you’re all shite.”

It's a statement of intent but it feels almost as naïve as Boehly's running of Chelsea.  They're not going to move on all of the deadwood in one transfer window so they're going to be left with lots of disenchanted players knocking about the place.

Then there's the problem of signing new players when the selling club knows they're desperate because they've hollowed out their existing squad.

I can see them burning through a lot of money and ending up worse than they are now, particularly if they're reliant on ten Hag integrating the new players.

[The North Bank]

Possibly Mainoo, not Garnacho though, far too inconsistent. The rest of them no, not one of them is better than what he have. Hojlund in the right set up might turn out good, but I've not seen anything from him to make me think "fuck, wish we'd got him". Our 3rd choice keeper is better than Onana, Fernandes would suit your lot though with his diving and crying, fit right in with Arteta

Fernandes is talented to be fair, but his percentages are so low that he gives the ball away so much trying to go for glory, it wouldnt work in our controlled possession system. Probably suits liverpools chaos football better.

Not sure how hed do at a big club though.

[MonsLibpool]

Can see teams in the Saudi league offering inflated fees just for the association.

United will be a Saudi feeder club.

They've struggled to shift players there. Telles went there last season for peanuts and they were looking to offload Sancho to a Saudi club.

Maybe it's because they're just not good at selling players.

[rossipersempre]

Unlike United’s vermin infested kitchens, our catering operates at a high standard so there’s a strong probability of Fernandes being found poisoned under a fridge.

*Exclusive* CCTV footage from Carrington canteen, with the United squad giving Ten Hag their full support...

[Knight]

Bit worrying that they’ve realised how bad they really are. I suspect a desperate ‘come and get them’ plea to the rest of the football world won’t cause many to bite mind you.

[Kopenhagen]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

They'll have to buy a lot of them out. Their wage bill is absurd.